SUP | Chapter 1: My Struggle with Fear & Anxiety

Hey friends, welcome to another episode of the Startup Story. This is chapter one. Last week I introduced the segment series on the Adventurous Faith podcast where mainly what I want to do is just kind of tell you my story of this new business that I'm starting. If you haven't had a chance to go listen to that episode, you should go check it out. But essentially in those first few minutes, I just talk about how I feel like God has called me to quit my job and to start this business. What I just to do in these short, very simple episodes is share with you just a little bit of the struggles and the lessons that I'm learning along the way in real time. And so that brings me to today - chapter one.

CHAPTER ONE

Last week was sort of introduction of sorts. Today is chapter one. I actually was going to wait until next week to release another episode of the Startup Story Podcast, but I felt it really important to share this.  I wanted you to get the reality of what I'm feeling.

FEAR & ANXIETY CREEPING IN

Last Friday my girlfriend and I, we went for a long hike. We took my dog, and we spent the day just hiking, and it was a beautiful day. It was. It was great, but that evening I began to feel a sense of fear and anxiety roll over me. And that is nothing new. Over the last several months I've felt that in several different ways about this business and specifically how it may get off the ground. I wondered if it's going to work, and I carried that weight fear and that anxiety with me through the evening, but when I lay down my head on my pillow last Friday evening, I was determined to get up Saturday morning and to make sure that I wouldn't carry that anymore because I didn't want it to ruin my day or my weekend. Or, even specifically, get a foothold into my business.

I want to read to you the journal entry I wrote on Saturday morning. There's nothing special about it, but I think will give you the little bit of the context of what I'm learning about fear about anxiety. I wrote this down. It says...

This morning and late last night were difficult. I had the first wave of doubt roll through. Will this work? It's revolved explicitly around money. Do I have enough to get me through to not get a job? Should I get a job now? Anxiety and fear began to weigh down on my heart, but this morning I'm going to trust and surrender a little bit of fear is a good thing, but I will keep it at the fences. Jesus, I need your help in peace this morning. Please move in.

It was just a simple prayer. Just the simple exercise of me to record down my thoughts and I just want to unpack that for you.

YOU CAN'T LET FEAR OWN YOU

I was feeling fear and anxiety in my heart. But one of the things that I'm sure of in this life, and I believe it because God's word says though, is that his word says that he has not given us a spirit of fear, but a spirit of a sound mind. And so I'm not going to let fear and anxiety in and wonder if I have what it takes. I'm not going to let it own me. I just refuse to. And one of the sayings that I've kind of come up with wrote down in this journal entry and that I am going to live by is learning to keep fear at the fences.

FEAR CAN BE A GOOD THING

To be honest, this isn't easy. What that means for me is knowing that fear is there, knowing that it's a part of my life, but keeping it at a distance. I believe a little bit of fear is a good thing. If we're not afraid to step into new seasons and new directives in our life, I think we can become very complacent and comfortable. For me, I'm learning to keep fear at the fences.

But you need to know last week I became overwhelmed. I think I let it get a little too close to my life and I struggled immensely and I began to wonder. But Saturday morning I woke up, I wrote that down in my journal, and I just started to pray, asking God to take this fear, this anxiety that was tearing me down and to let go of it.

When I was able to do just that - I had an incredible weekend. I did. I was able to continue doing some work and building this business. I've been able to spend this week working hard and getting some things done. And to be honest with you, God is already intervening in the places in which I feel like fear and anxiety can make its way. He's filling in the gaps there. And it's been incredible. Now, has it been easy? Absolutely not. I'm not saying that it's been easy, but I can tell you that because of all the hard work I'm putting in, I believe God is going to do HIS work.

DO WHAT ONLY YOU CAN DO & GOD WILL DO WHAT ONLY HE CAN DO

One of the sayings that I live by is I'm going to do what only I can do, which is waking up early, sending emails and recording podcasts. It's coaching clients. It's building this business, and all that entails. And God, I'm going to trust you for what only you can do. I'll be honest. That's not always easy because I struggle with control and wanting to do things the way that I want to do them, but I'm learning to let go. I'm learning to let God take hold of all of the pieces and parts of my heart and my life and this business and let him do that and so fears real. It's absolutely real.

Maybe this is where you're at. Now, maybe you're not starting a business. Perhaps for you, it's an idea. Maybe something is going on in your mind right now, and you are wanting to take this step forward, but you are letting fear or anxiety ruin your life. I want to challenge you to put that fear to the fences of your life. It can still be there - but don't let it own you. Don't let fear own your time, mind and your heart. Because if you allow it to do that, it's going to own you then fully.

This is one of the lessons I'm learning that's been on my heart literally all week, especially after last weekend. And I just wanted to take this opportunity to share that with you because I think it's important.

I would love to hear what you are up against. Feel free to connect with me on the social channels listed below or send me an e-mail at ben at ben weaver dot org.

Instagram Facebook Twitter Linked In E-mail What are the struggles you are up against? Where do you need to push fear to the fences of your life?