Hey, y'all - Joel here. I never know what to do at parties. I usually just end up sitting quietly. This isn't because I feel particularly socially anxious, but rather the opposite. I find I lack the needed social drive to put myself out there. I do well at work and at shows because of the performative aspect, but when my only reason for being an active participant is social fulfillment rather than glory or a paycheck, I feel I lack the tools I need to function.  This is not to say I don't wish to make friends or be social, I definitely do. There's a reason I keep going, I do wish to be there and to be friendly. But ever since college I've found I've lost the desperation that comes from not having a stable friend group.

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