Your Favorite Band Sucks
94 episodes - English - Latest episode: over 2 years ago - ★★★★ - 2K ratingsLet’s review: there’s no good art and it’s a red flag for adults to have a favorite band. Naturally, most of you will disagree. That's fine. Just pretend it's a drinking game. An algorithm randomly assigns the band Mark & Tyler destroy in every episode. Start on one everybody knows is trash, like The Beatles. But soon you'll realize culture is a pyramid scheme and your favorite band is just the soundtrack to a fake vintage t-shirt. (Get Ad-Free Episodes Here: https://anchor.fm/yfbspod/subscribe)
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Episodes
Black Flag Sucks
December 30, 2021 21:00 - 39 minutes - 36.4 MBYou're not alone and you're not crazy. All anyone has to do is listen to any 5 Black Flag songs to confirm this has always been a terrible band. Everybody's just afraid to say it. Maybe since you can't leave your house without seeing that logo, everyone assumes a ton of people must be listening to the band? Well, they're not. Nobody likes this music. (Except for Grateful Dead fans but you can't trust them.) --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/yfbspod/message
Ryan Adams Sucks
December 16, 2021 21:00 - 55 minutes - 51.3 MBIs Ryan Adams' music great? Or was he the guy who paved the way for Ed Sheeran? If only there were two professional music listeners to lay out the answers! Oh, wait, that's us. This is the first episode we almost titled "Ryan Adams Sucked," past tense, because we're about to prosecute this dude's entire career into oblivion. --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/yfbspod/message
Van Halen Sucks
December 02, 2021 21:00 - 47 minutes - 44.3 MBBy pretty much any metric you want to choose, Van Halen was one of the worst bands of all time. This is the soundtrack to getting dumb, being dumb and staying dumb. Literally every fictional band from a movie about a band made better music than Van Halen. This is the musical equivalent of mixing every color of paint in the store together until you end up with brown instead of just buying brown paint. --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/yfbspod/message
BTS Sucks
November 18, 2021 21:00 - 53 minutes - 49.9 MBIf you're anything like us, at some point in the past few years you've asked the question "What in the hell is a BTS and why are all these kids talking about it?" Well, the difference between us and you is we are professionals, so we found out what a BTS is and, friends, it is not good. In fact, it's bad. In fact, it sucks, which means we had to make this episode even if it's the last thing we do... And there's a real chance it may be. --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/yfbspo...
Coldplay Sucks
November 04, 2021 21:00 - 52 minutes - 49 MBEver since we opened up 5-star reviews on Apple Podcasts to requests, there've been a few bands who are by far requested above all others. We can't do all those episodes right away because you've always got to keep the crowd wanting more but, every now and then, it comes time to give the people what they want. Today is one of those days. And it's not like this will be a tough episode to do or anything, right? Coldplay is one of the most hated bands in existence. If anything, it almost feels...
YouTube Comments Suck
October 21, 2021 21:00 - 1 hour - 69.8 MBNobody asked for it but we have to deal with it so now you do, too! Today, Mark and Tyler sit down to read the best YouTube comments left over the past few years. And by "best," we mean 99% of them are horrible because YouTube comments are one of the worst places on the Internet. Enjoy! --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/yfbspod/message
David Bowie Sucks
August 05, 2021 21:00 - 58 minutes - 54.1 MBDavid Bowie is perhaps the most successful con artist of all time. You wanna hear about someone who got away with straight up grifting for like 50 years? Today we're talking about a guy who probably would have committed infanticide if someone told him it was the only way he could ever become famous. If you're imagining all the incredibly embarrassing and awful behavior one could expect from a person like that, buddy, it's worse. David Bowie sucks harder than it should even be possible to suc...
The Replacements Suck
July 22, 2021 21:00 - 32 minutes - 29.7 MBSo here's a thought: you're legitimately a sadist if this is your favorite band. There has never been a greater real life example of a million monkeys in a room with typewriters accidentally reproducing Shakespeare's body of work, except The Replacements only took four humans hating how bad they were at life and their instruments for about a decade in order to make whichever four songs you believe justify the rest of this inexcusable career. Imagine being from Minneapolis and having to argue...
Frank Sinatra Sucks
June 24, 2021 21:00 - 42 minutes - 39.2 MBWell, well, well... After several years of sidebar potshots in so many episodes, it is finally time for the original fuckboy pop singer to take a turn in the spotlight. And, look, we're not even going to do that usual thing where we pretend a bunch of fans are going to get pissed off about this because, let's be honest, everyone in 2021 is deeply aware of how much Frank Sinatra sucks. Anyone still listening to this trash has problems a podcast can't fix. No, that's not what we're here to do ...
Death Grips Sucks
June 10, 2021 21:00 - 37 minutes - 34.3 MBIf P.T. Barnum had lived to hear Death Grips, he'd have updated to quote to say there are 10 suckers born every minute because there hasn't been such a successful grift as this in the music business since at least the Sex Pistols. The "music" is obviously unlistenable because the music is always irrelevant when it comes to bands who get fast-tracked through the hype machine. But Death Grips also sucks for reasons that go so far beyond the music itself. Want to know more? If only there was an...
Joy Division Sucks
May 13, 2021 08:00 - 1 hour - 58 MBIt is undeniably tragic that so many people believe a trendy t-shirt design equates to good music. And you'd think doing an episode on Tool-for-sad-kids would be too depressing to be anyone's idea of a good time but this was such a bad "band" on every level that it actually pushes past the bleakness to become hilarious. Make sure you're ready to never willingly listen to Joy Division again before pressing play. --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/yfbspod/message
Johnny Cash Sucks
April 29, 2021 09:00 - 34 minutes - 31.6 MBOh, calm down. What, did you think we weren't ever gonna get around to country music's one-man combination of The Beatles and the Sex Pistols? Even if this podcast didn't have a resident country music expert and even if Johnny Cash had never worked with Rick Rubin or written that song for Nine Inch Nails, we'd still have to do an episode on him just because of how purely and objectively he sucks. If Johnny Cash is your favorite singer, you definitely like "badass" t-shirts more than you like...
Cocaine and Rhinestones Season 2 Starts NOW!
April 20, 2021 15:09 - 1 minute - 1.61 MBCocaine and Rhinestones season 2 starts today! Check out the new season wherever you listen to podcasts. --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/yfbspod/message
RIP Music
April 15, 2021 10:00 - 54 minutes - 50.1 MBNone of your other trusted sources of news were doing their jobs so it's once more up to the Joint Chiefs of Stuff to come correct with the scoop: music has officially been scheduled for extinction. Oh, you haven't heard how things are going at Rolling Stone magazine right now? You haven't figured out why half the bands you see on someone's t-shirt every time you go outside are selling their publishing catalogs? Well, friends, press play to receive the most critical information download of t...
Justin Bieber Sucks
April 01, 2021 10:00 - 44 minutes - 41 MB"EvERyONe ALrEadY kNoWs juSTin BiEBer suCks!" That's you. And what you should be doing instead is shutting the hell up and pressing play because a) we're hilarious and b) you'll probably learn some stuff, smartypants. --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/yfbspod/message
YFBS Trailer
March 22, 2021 12:39 - 3 minutes - 3.53 MBA trailer for everyone who can't grasp the importance of this podcast from the title alone. --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/yfbspod/message
Pearl Jam Sucks
March 18, 2021 11:31 - 1 hour - 69.6 MBFirst of all, none of you are prepared for how many of your friends are secret Pearl Jam fans. Go look up this band's sales figures. You think it's just everyone you've never met buying copies of these albums? Wake up, people! Not only is Pearl Jam's music terrible, they are parasitic masterminds of commerce! The war with TicketMaster was just a smokescreen! All will be revealed... P.S. Anyone else think it's weird how Eddie Vedder sang about "goin' hungry" even though he was clearly eating...
Christmas Music Sucks: Part 4
November 23, 2020 22:00 - 53 minutes - 49.1 MBThink you don't have much to be grateful for this year? Think again! Mark & Tyler are here to save 2020 from the bloody jaws of Christmas with the only holiday tradition that still matters: our annual Christmas Music Sucks episode! As a cold darkness settles upon the land and trepidation rises in the hearts of a noble proletariat, fear not! Beneath these terrible trappings lay great opportunities and wonderful gifts! (Translation: we finally figured out how to kill off Santa Claus this year...
Aerosmith Sucks: Part 3
September 17, 2020 08:05 - 30 minutes - 28.6 MBWhen we’re talking about a band as insufferable as Aerosmith, you really "don’t wanna miss a thing,” so enjoy the climax of this terrible group’s trilogy: 90s Aerosmith and beyond! Alicia Silverstone’s wedgie! Song doctors! Our review of Armageddon - the movie and real life! --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/yfbspod/message
Aerosmith Sucks: Part 2
September 03, 2020 07:26 - 34 minutes - 32.1 MBWelcome to Part 2 of the Your Favorite Aerosmith Sucks podcast! In this installment, Mark helps Tyler through childhood trauma caused by Steven Tyler's... well, everything about Steven Tyler. Also, everyone who thought the "Walk This Way" collaboration with Run DMC actually mattered was either a dumbass or an executive at MTV (and therefore a dumbass). Step right up, folks. School is in session. --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/yfbspod/message
Aerosmith Sucks
August 13, 2020 06:20 - 37 minutes - 35.1 MBIf we had a dollar for every time someone told us to listen to Aerosmith's early stuff, we'd pay Aerosmith to stop being a band. And they'd take the money. You know why? The only thing they've ever been good at is taking money from idiots. --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/yfbspod/message
Destiny's Child Sucks: Part 2
July 23, 2020 07:00 - 40 minutes - 37.5 MBWell, it turns out we weren't ready for the jelly. Talking about this soap opera of a "group" took longer than we thought it would, so here's Part 2: The Bootylicious-ing! Can Mark & Tyler prove themselves survivors? Listen and see. --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/yfbspod/message
Destiny's Child Sucks
July 09, 2020 07:00 - 45 minutes - 41.9 MBLet's just say there's such a thing as your dad being too big of a Jackson 5 fan. There's also a reason your worst high school girlfriend listened to Destiny's Child. Ready for this history lesson on 90s pop? No, you're not. You could never be ready for us to tell you EVERYTHING THE ILLUMINATI DOESN'T WANT YOU TO KNOW about Destiny's Child... You could never be ready for this jelly. --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/yfbspod/message
Beck Sucks: Part 2
June 25, 2020 07:00 - 46 minutes - 43 MBThis guy should have been a one-hit wonder and we never should have had to do a single episode about him. But no... You people had to start taking him seriously after Odelay and now this is happening: Beck Sucks, Pt. 2: Beck to the Future! Mark & Tyler get into the ridiculous critical acceptance of "Sad Beck," the Grammy Awards and, inevitably, more Scientology... --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/yfbspod/message
Beck Sucks
June 11, 2020 07:00 - 38 minutes - 35.7 MBBeck is the only argument needed against having respect for 90s pop culture. This is what every 8th grade boy in America was like before ADHD meds were invented. Beck's music is what it would sound like if chugging a 3-liter of Surge cola and shooting yourself in the b-hole with a paintball gun was a band. Now add Scientology. See? --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/yfbspod/message
Beethoven Sucks
May 28, 2020 07:00 - 1 hour - 63.8 MBIt's no exaggeration to say this podcast probably wouldn't exist without the everlasting influence of Ludwig van Beethoven on music. This guy sucks so much he basically invented it. This guy sucks so bad it killed classical music entirely - which is actually pretty awesome, not gonna lie. This guy sucks so hard we had to make a long episode AND A NEW T-SHIRT about it... Press play, then head over to shop.yfbspod.com to check out Tyler's original artwork and pre-order the new shirt! --- Sen...
Pantera Sucks
May 14, 2020 05:05 - 52 minutes - 48.3 MBThis is what happens when you’re too ugly for hair metal. Honestly, the guys in Pantera should have worn MORE makeup if they wanted to record a soundtrack to the evil western KISS would have made if they were actually badass. Then they had to go and single-handedly destroy the genre of metal. Thanks, guys. Pantera sucks. --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/yfbspod/message
Billy Joel Sucks: Part 2
April 30, 2020 06:00 - 44 minutes - 41.1 MBThe suck level in Billy Joel's career was simply too much to cram everything in one episode, so Mark and Tyler came back for seconds. Since you people let this guy have somewhere close to a dozen Top 10 pop songs, quite a few of those need to be discussed at length.* Just like every great sequel, it's everything you loved about the first one... but more! The generation gap gets wider! Billy Joel gets richer and further out of touch! The ripoffs get ripped offer! We finally start the fire! *...
Billy Joel Sucks
April 16, 2020 06:00 - 47 minutes - 43.6 MBWhen you look up the word "hack" in the dictionary, it would be really helpful if they included a picture of Billy Joel, since he is perhaps the most successful hack in the history of recorded music. Afraid listening to Elton John will turn you gay? Don't worry, Billy's tough! Wish you had the pipes to sing along with Nilsson? Simply lower your standards! Speaking of low standards for entertainment, on a scale of 1 to 10, how much fun does a night at a piano bar sound to you? If you said anyt...
Nickelback Sucks
April 01, 2020 20:00 - 48 minutes - 45.1 MBIn these trying times, it's important to focus on things that bring us together rather than tear us apart. We need to unite against a common enemy and that enemy is... Nickelback. At what point do we stop giving our neighbors in The Great White North benefit of the doubt? It can't be a coincidence that all of the worst music comes from Canada, can it? Rush, Celine Dion, Leonard Cohen. It's like, what are you people doing up there? You know you're not supposed to eat the yellow snow, right? An...
Arcade Fire Sucks
March 19, 2020 09:00 - 49 minutes - 45.5 MBIs this a band or a sect of Mormonism that worships The Internet? You do kind of want to admire these kids for trying to wage war against music journalists but they should pick on someone their own size next time if they wanna win. Maybe a class of fifth-graders? Also, how is this band NOT from Portland, Oregon? The official soundtrack of taking a book with you to the bar so everyone knows you plan on being smart someday: Arcade Fire sucks! --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/yf...
Mastodon Sucks
March 05, 2020 10:00 - 50 minutes - 46.7 MBRemember when everyone asked the left half of a human evolution chart to create the Biff's Notes version of a Moby Dick audiobook? Yeah, neither do we. Mastodon sucks. --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/yfbspod/message
Coheed and Cambria Sucks
February 20, 2020 06:10 - 42 minutes - 39.1 MBOh, hey, it's everyone's favorite soundtrack to a comic book series! Which, turns out, is nobody's favorite soundtrack to a comic book series because that isn't a thing anyone wants and this entire idea is terrible. Look, we're all about escapist fiction. Your life is trash. We get it. But when it reaches the point of slaughtering babies in outer space, you've maybe escaped a little bit too far. Grab a seat and strap in as Mark and Tyler take you to the moon and back to learn how much Coheed ...
Mini Episode 002: Top 10 Albums of the Decade
February 13, 2020 06:02 - 14 minutes - 13.2 MBYou wanted it, you got it! Well, okay, maybe you didn't want it but there have certainly been enough idiots who said "Oh YeaH? WHat aRE SoMe oF UR guYs FaVRitE BaNDz?" to justify a Top 10 Albums of the Decade Mini-Episode. Here that is. --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/yfbspod/message
The Clash Sucks
February 06, 2020 19:26 - 59 minutes - 54.7 MBOK Boomer Punks, make sure your bifocals are clean because today's episode takes a clear-eyed look at probably the most influential ska band of all time, The Clash. Songwriting, singing, musicianship, ethics - apparently none of these were requirements for becoming legends back in the '70s, as long as everyone thought one of your album covers was cool. It's true, you were lied to and that's not right or fair but we're here to fix it. Please consult a doctor before listening if you take blood ...
Christmas Music Sucks: Part 3
December 05, 2019 10:00 - 1 hour - 68.3 MBIt's the least wonderful time of the year! Those of you who've been with us from the beginning know we aren't about to let a holiday season come and go without another attempt to end the single worst genre: Christmas music. It all sucks... It's all bad... But we have the antidote! Just to make sure it's been attacked from every possible angle, Your Favorite Band Sucks comes back once a year for another episode about how much Christmas Music sucks. This year, Mark and Tyler raise their glasses...
Depeche Mode Sucks
November 21, 2019 10:00 - 46 minutes - 43.4 MBEver ask yourself why Depeche Mode is always the favorite band of people who've ruined your whole life? Wonder no more, friends and neighbors! A day of healing is upon us! The thing is: there's a fundamental problem with every Depeche Mode song. Today, Mark & Tyler strap in to gently explain what's going on here. A lot of people are gonna learn a lot about themselves in this episode but, don't worry, you won't need a safe word. Repeat after us: Depeche Mode sucks... Depeche Mode sucks... Depe...
Journey Sucks
November 07, 2019 10:00 - 1 hour - 57.5 MBLong before the San Francisco Bay Area decided to destroy Western civilization using Silicon Valley's latest social media apps, they tried destroying us with insipid arena rock. Fair's fair, the band Journey has the best singer of probably anyone that's been featured on our show so far (and a lot of their album covers were pretty sick) but not even the golden throat of Steve Perry can keep this chrome-plated spaceship on course. From "Wheel in the Sky" to "Faithfully," "Don't Stop Believin'" ...
Slipknot Sucks
October 24, 2019 09:00 - 48 minutes - 44.6 MBThe only reason they named this band Slipknot is because "Hot Topic" was already trademarked. Look, all we're saying is if you made music and it was this bad then you'd probably want to hide behind a mask, too. Does it seriously take nine people to suck this hard? How many shows did they do with eight members before deciding it just didn't suck enough and they had to throw in one more? They could have gone all the way to ten, except this is mall metal for people who lose fingers in firework a...
The Shins Suck
October 10, 2019 09:00 - 36 minutes - 33.9 MBAh, yes, the band that changed the lives of everyone who saw the worst movie of The 2000's, which also happened to be one of the most widely viewed movies of the decade due to the fact that everyone between the ages of 18 and 45 was evidently a total moron in The 2000s. Why should anyone care now? Well, how exactly do you think we got in this mess? This is how. The Shins don't just suck. They sucked so hard and made so much money doing it that every indie band fell all over themselves to foll...
Mini Episode 001: Mark and Tyler Read Fan Mail
October 03, 2019 09:00 - 28 minutes - 26.3 MBNever have fans. Trust us, you'll regret it. For some reason, there are a lot of people who see a podcast about their terrible taste in music as an invitation to contact the hosts and, y'know, say things... Yeah, it's pretty inexcusable behavior but, since we don't seem to be able to put a stop to it, we may as well share some of the best/worst specimens. Here's the first YFBS mini-episode! Mark and Tyler give their no-holds-barred, completely uncensored responses to fan mail. (And, let's be ...
Gorillaz Suck
September 26, 2019 09:00 - 31 minutes - 29 MBClint Eastwood should sue these clowns. Anyone remember when cartoons were for kids and nobody on the planet would dream of confusing the soundtrack with, you know, music? Gorillaz make albums for adults who still eat bowls of cereal for breakfast. The favorite band of Eloi everywhere. It's offensive that anyone thinks we're supposed to take this seriously. Gorillaz suck. --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/yfbspod/message
Oasis Sucks
September 12, 2019 09:00 - 46 minutes - 42.8 MBAlright, here's your proof. Oasis is hard evidence that talent and work ethic have nothing to do with "making it" in music. If millions of people bought this, they'd buy anything. Liam Gallagher is maybe the worst singer that's been discussed on our show so far. Noel Gallagher has probably been sued for plagiarism more times than Madonna. It's a miracle he's never tried to pass off "Mary Had a Little Lamb" as an original composition. BONUS: every single jerkoff cover of "Wonderwall" that you'...
Queens of the Stone Age Sucks
August 29, 2019 09:00 - 59 minutes - 55 MBYou'd think a band with this many songs about drugs could be more than a one-hit wonder but that's just how much Queens of the Stone Age sucks. Someone should invent time travel just so we can send these guys back to prehistory for more guitar riffs. Queens fans think it's impossible to dislike this band. Press play. We'll show you how it's done. --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/yfbspod/message
The Strokes Suck
August 15, 2019 08:00 - 57 minutes - 52.8 MBFrom a music business standpoint, here's a textbook example of what not to do. Those of you who remember how this all went down (and, boy, did it go down), you know why this hilarious history lesson is necessary, even though The Strokes never actually did a single thing that mattered, one single thing to deliver on the hype fabricated around them. Just like they requested, The Strokes are well on their way to ultimately being forgotten. Dig out your fave vintage t-shirt that you bought on eBa...
Phil Collins Sucks
August 01, 2019 08:00 - 48 minutes - 44.5 MBPhil Collins sucks so much that it almost feels mean to make fun of him. But we are mean, so who cares? We'll admit that it's honestly pretty impressive how much of a douchebag this guy is but that's not enough for us to excuse the sheer amount of terrible music he's created. If the only song he ever made was "In the Air Tonight," then he'd probably still deserve an episode because that's among the actual worst songs that has ever been made by anyone. And that's only one Phil Collins song. It...
Rush Sucks
July 18, 2019 09:00 - 59 minutes - 55.1 MBThis is the best Canada can do, huh? You know what? Have this one back. No, no. We’re fine. Honestly. Yes, you seem very polite but you're clearly trying to convince us that Rush is something other than a Trojan horse to brainwash Americans into acting like even bigger jerks than normal. Get someone smarter than an 8th grader to write the lyrics next time, thanks. The only thing we're still wondering is why anyone thinks any member of this band is great at their instrument. --- Send in a v...
Madonna Sucks: Part Two
July 04, 2019 09:00 - 41 minutes - 38.5 MBLast episode, we went in on Madonna’s lack of originality and talent. Today, we try to understand the why of it all. To what end, all this thievery and stirring up of controversy? Maybe the answer lies somewhere deep inside “Like a Virgin.” Of course, her illustrious acting career cannot be overlooked. There's the groundbreaking Ray of Light album. And there's always, always, some recent example of Madonna doing something even dumber than ever before, such as releasing new music in the year 2...
Madonna Sucks
June 20, 2019 09:00 - 35 minutes - 32.9 MBShe can’t sing. She can’t dance. She can’t act. She has no personality of her own. There’s a 90% chance anything anyone thinks she deserves credit for is just something they don’t know was done by someone else, first and better. Can’t figure out what so many people see in Madonna? Trust us, you’re missing nothing. Here's what it takes to be a Madonna fan: you had to be there and you had to have no awareness that Madonna is the bluntest object in the cutting edge drawer. Listen and learn. --...
Daft Punk Sucks
June 06, 2019 05:01 - 30 minutes - 28.6 MBThis might be an episode on Daft Punk and it might not. There's really no way to know... Okay, fine, it is an episode about how much Daft Punk (or whoever's underneath those helmets) sucks. Spoiler Alert: it comes down to way more than the helmets. People who have strong opinions about which Daft Punk album is better than other Daft Punk albums are the same people who have strong opinions about whether Shake Shack burgers are better than In-N-Out burgers. Today, Mark and Tyler are your doctor...