You Haven't Seen What? / Crime Files Movie Podcast
54 episodes - English - Latest episode: 5 months ago - ★★★★★ - 10 ratingsA married couple's quest to rectify the wrongs of their partner never seeing culturally relevant movies. (Mostly 1980s, but we dabble in other decades.)
The Crime Files specifically examines crime movies and their impact upon societal perceptions of law enforcement.
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Episodes
Crime Files - Ep 7 Almost LIVE at ASC - American Psycho (2000) - "I simply am not there"
November 15, 2023 12:00 - 1 hour - 152 MBThis episode was scheduled for recording at the ASC (The American Society of Criminology) Annual Conference in November 2022. However, due to unavoidable circumstances, it was rescheduled as a Zoom recording on August 30, 2023. Our very special guests are: Caroline Comerford, M.S. - Founder, CVC Consulting Adam Stern, Ph.D - Associate Professor, Curry College
Sing (1989) - “Honey, you do not know what this Italian butt is capable of!”
August 24, 2022 11:00 - 1 hour - 108 MB“Brooklyn Central High School has just one more chance to sing their heart out.” Parry - "SING!" Joelle "Nanananananananananaaaaaaaaa"
Zodiac - LIVE at ASC - You Havent Seen What - Ep CF6
June 08, 2022 11:00 - 1 hour - 109 MBThis episode was recorded LIVE at the ASC (The American Society of Criminology) 76th Annual Conference in Chicago, IL on November 1th, 2021. Our very special guests are: Caroline Comerford, M.S. - Founder, CVC Consulting Adam Stern, Ph.D - Associate Professor, Curry College
Gremlins (1984) - “I told ya we shoulda got a Zenith”
March 04, 2022 12:30 - 1 hour - 133 MBA boy receives a a surprisingly good Christmas gift, in the form of a living creature no one has seen before, from his usually disappointing Dad. However, when the little monster’s spawn destroy the town and ruin Christmas, the gift turns out to be as disappointing as his Dad and his lousy inventions. Joelle - "The Gremlins scare me more than serial killers." Parry - "(In Ralph Parker voice) I don’t think Gremlins make a very good Christmas gift."
Gremlins (1984) “I told ya we shoulda got a Zenith”
March 04, 2022 12:30 - 1 hour - 132 MBA boy receives a a surprisingly good Christmas gift, in the form of a living creature no one has seen before, from his usually disappointing Dad. However, when the little monster’s spawn destroy the town and ruin Christmas, the gift turns out to be as disappointing as his Dad and his lousy inventions. Joelle - "The Gremlins scare me more than serial killers." Parry - "(In Ralph Parker voice) I don’t think Gremlins make a very good Christmas gift."
Ep: 37 - Children of the Corn (1984) - "I spy with my little eye, something that starts with the letter 'C'"
November 03, 2021 11:00 - 1 hour - 140 MBThey Like Corn! Parry: "Outlander! I have your vaccine!" Joelle - "You need a weapon. You need something to 'juk' people in the eye cause your man done left you!"
Ep: 36 - Better Off Dead (1985) - "WHAT IN THE NAME OF ALL THAT'S HOLY?!"
September 17, 2021 11:30 - 1 hour - 110 MBLane Meyer’s attempts to mend a broken heart by unsuccessfully attempting to kill himself. Joelle - "Cracker Jack prizes suck. At least they could give us a temporary tattoo." Parry - "A lower back temporary tattoo?"
Godfrey Reggio Interview! - “Cinema is to feel, not just to see.”
July 16, 2021 11:30 - 1 hour - 124 MBGodfrey Reggio, director of the Qatsi Trilogy (Koyaanisqatsi, Powaqatsi, Naqoyqatsi), Anima Mundi, Evidence, Visitors, and many others, joins us to speak about his life and journey as a filmmaker. Also, Parry completely geeks out speaking with someone who changed his perceptions of film, society, and Twinkies*. *A deep cut Koyaanisqatsi reference not actually mentioned in this interview. But if you know, you know.
Ep 35: Koyaanisqatsi (1982) - "If we dig precious things from the land, we will invite disaster."
June 23, 2021 11:30 - 1 hour - 148 MBVisuals and music are seamlessly blended into a pure cinema (or non-narrative) event that presents the familiar as unfamiliar and creates the conditions through which a local can see the world like a tourist. Parry - "Bikes are really hard to come by during a pandemic." Joelle - "Polyester is good for no one."
Ep 34: Jaws: The Revenge (1987) - HOLIDAY SPECIAL - “I’ve always wanted to make love to an angry welder. I’ve dreamed of nothing else since I was a small boy.”
December 24, 2020 12:00 - 1 hour - 99.7 MBJaws spawn seeks revenge on the surviving Brody family members. Joelle - "Find your fucking holiday joy, Grinch!" Parry - "Brody the Shark Slayer"
Ep: 33 - The Witches of Eastwick (1987) - "Have another cherry."
October 31, 2020 12:00 - 1 hour - 104 MBDeath, divorce, and desertion leaves three friends desperate for love, attention, and sex...and then the Devil appears. Joelle - "I was not able to eat cherries for a long time after watching this." Parry - "The Devil came down to Eastwick."
Ep: 32 - Hocus Pocus (1993) - "You sold your soul! You’re the ugliest thing that ever lived and you know it!"
October 26, 2020 11:00 - 1 hour - 111 MBWitches, some kids, a talking cat, lots of screaming, and a virgin. Parry - "Test audiences have ruined better films" Joelle - "This film is so white it hurts"
Ep: 31 - Real Genius (1985) - "All Brains, No Penis"
September 25, 2020 11:00 - 1 hour - 126 MBA 15 year-old college freshman genius is mentored by a brilliant but flippant senior who teaches him that all work and no play can make Mitch a dull – or insane – boy (like Lazlo Hollyfeld), but they both learn that sometimes the price of success is betraying your own morals….and the price of revenge is whatever 140 tons of popcorn costs. Joelle - "I would never buy astronaut ice cream." Parry - "Didn’t these guys go on to found Ask Jeves?"
Ep: 30 - KIDCO (1984) - "The USA was the greatest place in the world, and then they had to go and bust KIDCO."
August 21, 2020 13:00 - 1 hour - 111 MBThe Cessna siblings make money out of manure. Parry - "I was not the Alex P. Keaton of Poop." Joelle - "You are killing my light and fluffy!"
The Silence of the Lambs (1991) - BONUS MINISODE - "Love your suit."
February 28, 2020 21:15 - 52 minutes - 72.9 MBParry: Do Werther's taste better if they come from a cardigan pocket? Joelle: Werther's is my jam.
Crime Files - Ep 5: The Silence of the Lambs (1991) - PART 2 - "Quid Pro Quo"
January 31, 2020 11:30 - 1 hour - 132 MBThis is the second part of our discussion about The Silence of the Lambs (not LIVE) where we talk soundtrack smashes, production notes, and real world law enforcement in the context of privacy vs safety. Parry: Are you saying that Tom Petty is the patron saint of white guys? Joelle: A married couples quest to rectify the wrong of their partner being an asshole.
Crime Files - Ep 4 LIVE at ASC: The Silence of the Lambs (1991) - "They don't have a name for what he is."
January 10, 2020 11:30 - 1 hour - 115 MBVarious animals are exposed to man's inhumanity to man. This episode was recorded LIVE at the ASC (The American Society of Criminology) 75th Annual Conference in San Francisco, CA on November 13th, 2019. Our very special guests are (in no specific order): Jessica Herbert, Ph.D - President, IDEA Analytics Caroline Comerford, M.S. - Founder, CVC Consulting Adam Stern, Ph.D - Associate Professor, Curry College
CLUE - BONUS MINISODE - "Husbands should be like Kleenex: soft, strong and disposable."
December 20, 2019 11:30 - 32 minutes - 45.1 MBParry - We're staying together for my Father. Joelle: Yes, Drummer Cat.
Crime Files - Ep 3: The Shawshank Redemption (1994) - "How can you be so obtuse?"
November 27, 2019 11:30 - 1 hour - 125 MBThey send you to Shawshank for life, and that's exactly what they take. Joelle: "You wanna bring your wine the the theater? Great! Put that shit in a sippy cup ahead of time!" Parry: "What is Shawshank's area code?"
Crime Files - Ep 2: Runaway Jury (2003) - "You are a moral man living in a world of moral relativity."
November 15, 2019 13:30 - 1 hour - 118 MBTruth, justice, and the American way in Runaway Jury includes buying a verdict by buying a jury.
CF - Ep 2: Runaway Jury (2003) - "You are a moral man living in a world of moral relativity."
November 15, 2019 13:30 - 1 hour - 118 MBTruth, justice, and the American way in Runaway Jury includes buying a verdict by buying a jury.
CF - Ep 1: CLUE (1985) - "One plus one plus two plus one, not one plus two plus one plus one."
November 15, 2019 13:15 - 1 hour - 118 MBSix strangers are summoned to a mansion by their blackmailer. People start dying and shenanigans ensue. Parry: "When someone done it, but you don't know WHO done it..." Joelle: "This is like every Nancy Drew novel in my head come to life."
Crime Files - Ep 1: CLUE (1985) - "One plus one plus two plus one, not one plus two plus one plus one."
November 15, 2019 13:15 - 1 hour - 118 MBSix strangers are summoned to a mansion by their blackmailer. People start dying and shenanigans ensue. Parry: "When someone done it, but you don't know WHO done it..." Joelle: "This is like every Nancy Drew novel in my head come to life."
April Fool's Day - HALLOWEEN MINISODE - "They're Here! They're Hungry! They'll Eat You Alive!"
October 31, 2019 10:30 - 42 minutes - 59.5 MBHave a HAPPY HALLOWEEN with this special minisode where we revisit April Fool's Day and Joelle reveals her deathly fear of Gizmo the Mogwai...and piranhas!
Top Gun - BONUS MINISODE - "There's two O's in Goose."
October 07, 2019 10:30 - 30 minutes - 43.3 MBThis is is our very first bonus minisode (and stop gap for Joelle's dissertation) where we delve deeper into Top Gun and find out who Joelle and Parry would Bed, Wed, and want Dead!
Ep 29: Top Gun (1986) - "If you think, you're dead."
September 12, 2019 10:30 - 1 hour - 104 MBFighter pilot Lt. Pete “Maverick” Mitchell has a chip on his shoulder and that chip might just make him the most brilliant or the most reckless fighter pilot in Miramar.” (not Miramar, FL) Parry: "Even if you’re not trying to stare at Tom Cruise’s ass, there it is right there in front of you in the tighty whiteys." Joelle: "Do you have something to tell me? Is there a reason we shouldn’t be married any longer?"
Ep 28: 9 1/2 Weeks (1986) - "I’ll do the dishes…"
August 23, 2019 10:30 - 1 hour - 117 MBThe cyclical nature of John and Elizabeth's relationship of fighting and sex brings BDSM out of the dark and into the mainstream. Joelle - "I'm not having sex in street water." Parry - "Honey is a friction killer."
Ep 27: The Lost Boys (1987) - PART 2 - "Now you know what we are, now you know what you are. You'll never grow old, Michael, and you'll never die. But you must feed!"
August 09, 2019 10:30 - 1 hour - 98.7 MBA young girl has her heart broken when her vampire boyfriend falls for a blazing hot recent arrival and watches helplessly as they fight their burgeoning but forbidden lust for one another. Joelle - Your budget shouldn’t be that budget. Parry - This is my holy water and I’m takin’ it back, I’m takin’ it all back! Melissa - Thank you, Chris for that very woke moment. Now continuing on with production notes. Chris - Unlike the Lost Boys, I wanted to sex with zero people in Twilight!
Ep 26: The Lost Boys (1987) - PART 1 - "Michael"
July 19, 2019 10:30 - 1 hour - 84.5 MBIn the wake of her divorce, Lucy Emerson packs up her sons and moves home to sunny Santa Carla. However, the boys soon learn that there’s a dark side lurking under sun, surf, and carny games. Parry - What are Jamaican Vampires like? Joelle - Fuckin' Awesome! Boom, Boom Lick Shot with that shit, okay! Chris - It’s the most physically evocative sax song since El Bimbo. Melissa - Grandpa is bae!
Ep 25: Breakin' (1984) - "She ain't no street dancer! She knows nothin' about what we do!"
June 27, 2019 10:30 - 1 hour - 127 MBMixing traditional forms of dancing with the new phenomenon of street dancing called breakdancing, Turbo, Kelly, and Ozone (TKO) break down barriers with their sick moves. Parry - "Electro Rock remind me of the Misfits from Jem and the Holograms. 'We are Electro Rock, our songs are better!'" Joelle - "I’m so glad you were able to make a joke. Thank you for carrying some of the weight!"
Ep 24: Alien (1979) - "Not exactly out of the manual, is it?"
June 14, 2019 10:30 - 1 hour - 125 MBA sweet cat, forced to make journey through space, gets woken up from a great nap, only to watch humans eat lousy food...and get what they deserve. Joelle - "If they had just listened to the woman in the control room following protocol…" Parry - "Putting white surfaces in the Nostromo is like putting nice upholstery in a dump truck."
Ep 23: 9 to 5 (1980) - "I expect to be treated equally with a little dignity and a little respect!"
April 26, 2019 10:30 - 1 hour - 128 MBWhat happens when you accidentally poison your sexist, egotistical, lying, hypocritical, bigoted boss? Sweet revenge! Joelle - "Marie Kumkari" Parry - "Please send all hate mail to [email protected]."
Ep 22: Bull Durham (1988) - "This is a very simple game. You throw the ball, you catch the ball, you hit the ball. Sometimes you win, sometimes you lose, sometimes it rains."
March 28, 2019 10:00 - 1 hour - 102 MBBaseball is a game about winning and losing...love is very similar. Parry - "Albuquerque Isotopes?!" Joelle - "Once again, I am saving your ass."
Ep 21: Club Paradise (1986) - "Oh, sure! Go start a revolution! It's not gonna look good on your resumé, you know!"
March 01, 2019 10:00 - 1 hour - 136 MBParadise...or is it? Parry - "(Quoting Groucho Marx) Did you ever notice that Peter O'Toole has a double-phallic name?" Joelle - "I felt the need to do some serious research and soul-searching so that you can understand my country (Jamaica)."
Ep 20: UHF (1989) - "If you took their combined I.Q., and multiplied it by a hundred, you might have enough intelligence to tie your shoe..."
February 07, 2019 11:30 - 1 hour - 108 MBAs Al himself describes it, "UHF is a cross between 'Sophie's Choice,' 'Son of Flubber' and 'The Texas Chainsaw Massacre.'" Parry - "As a Weird Al completist, you should own it. You just don't really need to watch it." Joelle - "If I sound bitter, it's because I didn't have any warning..."
Ep 19: Gandhi (1982) - "The only devils in this world are those running around in our own hearts, and that is where all our battles should be fought."
January 24, 2019 11:30 - 1 hour - 110 MBJust when you thought one person can't make a difference, along comes Gandhi. Parry: "Surprisingly NOT about the world's largest distributor of T-Shirts and bumper stickers with inspirational sayings." Joelle: "#MuteRKelly"
Ep 18: Labyrinth (1986) - "Thanks for nothing, Hogwart!"
January 08, 2019 11:00 - 1 hour - 130 MBA young girl with a desire to escape her reality must embark on a dangerous journey through the Labyrinth to rescue her baby brother when he is kidnapped...at her request. Parry: "We can't talk about Labyrinth without discussing Bowie's 'Underground Kingdom.'" Joelle: "How is this a kids movie?"
Ep 17: A Chorus Line (1985) - "Give a man...some room!"
January 04, 2019 12:33 - 1 hour - 94.2 MBA dancer's career is short. Will this be their final hope or the start of something grand? (17 words!) Parry: "Comparison Kills!" Joelle: "I can't do coquito math."
Ep 16: Christine (1983) - "Okay... show me."
October 31, 2018 19:00 - 1 hour - 91.1 MBKiller car might not choose its owners, but it certainly chooses its victims. Parry: "Does Christine end up as the dancing Pepsi can from The Golden Child?" Joelle: #FanFiction (in reference to Christine's wedding on Christinemoviecar.com)
Ep 15: Toy Story (1995) - "Whaddya say I get someone else to watch the sheep tonight?"
October 11, 2018 14:43 - 1 hour - 103 MBWhen a favorite toy gets insecure about being replaced by a fancy new model, he resorts to fighting dirty to protect his place in his owner's heart. (And toys are sentient, BTW.) Parry: "How do you react when someone tries to Big Toy you?" Joelle: "I did not have a close relationship with my toys."
Ep 14: The Golden Child (1986) - "Ha! I got the knife! Now turn on the goddamn lights!"
September 18, 2018 21:02 - 1 hour - 101 MBEddie Murphy, AKA The Chosen One, searches for The Golden Child while navigating through Eastern mysticism and Western gangs. Parry: "Surprisingly, this is NOT a Golden Girls prequel." Joelle: "No one got to the movies on time the '80s."
Ep 13: Three O'Clock High (1987) - "Pain is temporary. Film is forever!"
August 22, 2018 18:35 - 1 hour - 101 MBJerry Mitchell is having one of those days. Buddy Revell is always having a bad day. Buddy wants Jerry to fight him after school and Jerry will do ANYTHING to get out of it! Parry: "What is going on in Buddy Revell's home life?" Joelle: "That's shady as fuck, Spielberg."
Ep 12: Max Dugan Returns (1983) - "I'd stick to lying. So far you're doing great."
August 07, 2018 19:20 - 1 hour - 85.8 MBWhat do you do when your grandpa returns from the dead and wants to spend $687,000 on you? You ask no questions and welcome him back with open arms...right? Parry: "Donald Sutherland makes me really want to drink orange juice." Joelle: "I don't understand the (acting) transition from having sexual relations with somebody and then pretending that they're your sibling."
Ep 11: High Fidelity (2000) - "What really matters is WHAT you like, not what you ARE like."
July 11, 2018 01:54 - 1 hour - 107 MBOften looking for the bigger, better deal, Rob Gordon traverses through relationships, one autobiographical record at a time. Parry: "I have a medical condition. It's called premature exposition." Joelle: "I married Rob Gordon."
Ep 10: Dirty Dancing (1987) - "You gotta hold the frame."
July 04, 2018 15:10 - 1 hour - 149 MBDirty Dancing is a story about finding out who you are, when you thought you knew exactly who you were and then falling in love in the most unexpected places (oh, and classism, sexism, and abortion). Parry: "broccoli wrapped in bacon" Joelle: "There's no basement in the goddamn Alamo!"
Ep 9: The Dark Crystal (1982) - "Prophets don't know everything."
June 07, 2018 19:35 - 1 hour - 116 MBAnother world, another time, in the age of wonder. A thousand years ago, this land was green and good - until the Crystal cracked. A single shard was lost. Then strife began and two new races appeared, the cruel Skeksis and the gentle Mystics. Now, once more, the world must undergo a time of testing. Now the Crystal must be healed, or pass forever into the rule of evil. What was sundered and undone shall be whole - the two made one. Parry - "Skeksis sounds like an STD" Joelle - "The Crys...
Ep 8: Ruthless People (1986) - "I've been kidnapped by Kmart!"
May 22, 2018 19:22 - 1 hour - 94.1 MBThe King of Spandex Miniskirts wants to bump off his annoying wife, but she is kidnapped before he has the chance. His mistress and her lover plan to blackmail him for the crime, but their "evidence" is compelling for the wrong reasons. The clueless kidnappers keep lowering the ransom in the hope that they can finally get their basement back. Only the Memphis furniture is more colorful than this cast of characters. Parry: "Ruthless People might just be the nexus of the 1980s!" Joelle: "...
Ep 7: The Legend of Billie Jean (1985) - "Fair Is Fair!"
May 01, 2018 16:43 - 59 minutes - 82 MBWhen an 80's "Pack 'O Villans" vandalize a boy's beloved Honda Elite scooter, his sister goes straight to the main bully's father for restitution. But when his Douchey Dad forcibly attempts a sexual layaway plan and is accidentally shot by her brother, Billie Jean and her friends are forced to run. Along the road to redemption, Bille Jean becomes a modern day Joan of Arc as she leads a grassroots teen rebellion against narrow-minded adults in an attempt to prove that "Fair is Fair!" Parry:...
Ep 6: Midnight Madness (1980) "You've gotta stand up and face life! Go for the GUSTO!"
April 17, 2018 17:53 - 50 minutes - 70.4 MBEp 6: Midnight Madness (1980) - "You've gotta stand up and face life! Go for the GUSTO!" Leon, the Game Master, coerces several groups of college students into participating in "The Great All-Nighter," a clue-based scavenger hunt-style race through Los Angeles. Parry: I personally believe that "Leon" (if that is indeed his real name) now works for the Russians. Joelle: Pabst Blue Ribbon, OHoooOoOoOH!
Ep 5: The Princess Bride (1987) - "I do not think it means what you think it means."
April 10, 2018 19:47 - 59 minutes - 82.1 MBEp 5: The Princess Bride (1987) -"I do not think it means what you think it means." A farcical fairy tale about a woman who agrees to marry a prince when she believes her true love has been killed by pirates. Before the wedding can take place, she is kidnapped, but quickly rescued by her long-lost love, now a pirate himself. Before they can live happily ever after, they must escape the prince, who plans to kill them all. Oh, and there is a six-fingered man who just has to die by the end......