You Can't Do That
207 episodes - English - Latest episode: about 1 month ago - ★★★★★ - 266 ratingsA podcast about hockey from three women who have more opinions than information and LOTS of feelings about the Washington Capitals. These enthusiastically self-righteous idiots aren't here to win - they're here to make friends! (And talk about which hockey players are cats and which are dogs.) Join Eva, Kelly, and Rave for jokes and yelling about the latest league headlines, player antics, and more.
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Episodes
#188: Bobbleheist
March 20, 2024 00:53 - 1 hour - 115 Bytes"He meant what he yelled." Our Washington Capitals remain too stupid to realize that they are dead and Kelly, Rave, and Eva are delighted! What a time we're all having! Topics for discussion include TJ's 1000th, the Pens' existential dread, Kuzy's new nest, Torts' hissy fit, the Larkin-less Red Wings, and a funky little Pittsburgh mystery. This episode was recorded on March 17, 2024. Support the pod: Follow us on TikTok @youcantdohockey, get bonus content on Patreon @ patreon.com/youcantdo...
#187: Swaddle The Bruiser
March 05, 2024 22:46 - 1 hour - 121 Bytes"Who to the core." Much occurred while this pod was fighting off illness, so Rave, Kelly, and Eva roll up their sleeves to tackle an agenda that includes the half-life of cocaine, Ted's big fail, Auston's golf...pod?, the Tampa yakuza, and the brief but appreciated heroism of Anthony Manthony. And in the distance, the trade deadline looms...This episode was recorded on March 3, 2024. Further reading: ”Team Turmoil: A Mystery Owner, Squabbling Management, A Nine-figure Debt And A Rotten Rec...
#186: Longing To Shroom
February 13, 2024 21:47 - 1 hour - 125 Bytes"We have sparkling water money on the line." There's a lot about this year's All Star weekend for Eva, Kelly, and Rave to analyze, including Brock Boeser's "Favorite Boy" award, Kuch's boos, Michael Buble's drug experience, and...those player portraits. You know the ones. Also: Ovi's got his groove back; odes to discontinued jerseys; and an update from Kelly's Canucks corner. This episode was recorded on February 11, 2024. Support the pod: Follow us on TikTok @youcantdohockey, get bonus co...
#185: Third-Place Pretty Girl Syndrome
January 30, 2024 21:07 - 1 hour - 116 Bytes"The Amazing...Unlawful Confinement." Did you know that like our Washington Capitals, YCDT has a fun little freak tunnel of our own? Kelly, Eva, and Rave are having a grand ol' time in there. Coaching trends are getting analyzed, forcibly-separated bonded pairs are being mourned, improvements to the All Star Game are being suggested (AGAIN. FOREVER). Come hang in the freak tunnel with us!! This episode was recorded on January 18, 2024. Support the pod: Follow us on TikTok @youcantdohockey,...
#184: Kingdom Phylum Animal Rectangle
January 09, 2024 22:56 - 1 hour - 133 Bytes"It's bad pedagogy." It's a new year! But like the Washington Capitals, this pod is back on its traditional and beloved bullshit. And we've lots to discuss, including Ethan Bear, the Pens-Caps nursing home derby, leech fears, the return of Dima, hot mic vendettas, broken jaws, classiness, and whether or not we want Dylan Strome to face Connor McDavid at the ASG in front of god and everyone so we can study his micro-expressions in gif form. (Opinion is, in fact, divided.) This episode was rec...
#183: Cap Trick
December 12, 2023 23:19 - 1 hour - 109 Bytes"No more Kuzy sauce in the pasta room." The Caps are frolicking through this season with a buoyancy that Eva, Rave, and Kelly cannot help but be charmed by: Kuzy sauce? Tom trick? Dallas slut-ery?? C'mon, we're only human. Also on the agenda: hunting for Bear, Jacob Trouba's artistic explorations, Chicago and Detroit warring for Eva's heart, Rod's angry Bod, the Flyers renaissance, and MONEY MONEY MONEY. And WAGs. This episode was recorded on December 10, 2023. Support the pod: Follow us o...
#182: The Banality of Bureaucratic Evil
November 28, 2023 22:56 - 1 hour - 98 Bytes"Put a bag over your birdcage." Critical questions for Kelly, Rave, and Eva this week: Who's the Selling Sunset and who's the Prison Break? Who's the Patrik Laine and who's the Taylor Hall? Who's getting his biceps squeezed on Swedish TV and who's remaking his struggling professional organization in his image? And do you think Sid & Ovi saved hockey or are you WRONG? This episode was recorded on November 26, 2023. Support the pod: Follow us on TikTok @youcantdohockey, get bonus content on ...
#181: Large Talk
November 14, 2023 17:10 - 1 hour - 117 Bytes"All my life to game." On the emotional scale of Canadian hockey teams, how are YOU doing? Because Nicklas Bäckström is "stepping away from the game" so Rave, Kelly, and Eva aren't great!! At least we have Capitals' Halloween costumes, a Sharks win, and Sabres Speed Dating to soothe us. This episode was recorded on November 12, 2023. Support the pod: Follow us on TikTok @youcantdohockey, get bonus content on Patreon @ patreon.com/youcantdothat, and find merch @ shop.spreadshirt.com/you-c...
#180: Revolutionary Allyship
October 31, 2023 20:48 - 1 hour - 111 Bytes"He does not. Give. One. Hell." Eva, Kelly, and Rave are shocked - SHOCKED! To discover there's GAMBLING going on in this hockey establishment! This week they're checking in on the latest from Ottawa, observing the Dylan Strome of it all in Washington and the Connor Bedard-ing in Chicago, bidding a fond farewell to Jumbo Joe, and scolding the league YET AGAIN for writing dry-erase checks it can't cash. This episode was recorded on October 29, 2023. Support the pod: Follow us on TikTok @yo...
#179: Can't Spell "Gary" Without "Gay"
October 17, 2023 21:21 - 1 hour - 109 Bytes"That gyre is gonna f*ckin' widen, baby." The NHL banned rainbow stick tape celebrations of LGBTQ+ support, but as usual, the joke's on the league because this pod's gay little hands are all over this sport and will be forever. Kelly, Rave, and Eva weigh in on that nonsense, plus a fun and flirty week of good, bad, and unimportant hockey from the Pens, Canucks, and Caps, respectively. This episode was recorded on October 15, 2023. Support the pod: Follow us on TikTok @youcantdohockey, get ...
#178: A Bird Has Sung Today
October 06, 2023 19:00 - 1 hour - 103 Bytes"There's something delightful about a rat boy forcing your hand." Rave, Kelly, and Eva are sooooo back, and with quite a summer to recap, from Kuzy's unfiltered interview to Mark Badcop's blessedly brief time as CBJ coach and the return of both spite-fueled Nicke and noted Sidney Crosby fan Evgeni Malkin. This episode was recorded on October 2, 2023. Support the pod: Follow us on TikTok @youcantdohockey, get bonus content on Patreon @ patreon.com/youcantdothat, and find merch @ shop.spre...
#177: Slut Bouquet
June 20, 2023 15:38 - 1 hour - 131 Bytes"They're both sans serif." That's a wrap on the '22-'23 NHL season! While our preferred goobers may not have won, Kelly, Eva, and Rave have room in their hearts for some Vegas narratives, too. Plus: Checking in on terrible coaches, fractured locker rooms, Kyle, and our babiest baby's new baby on board. This episode was recorded on June 18, 2023. Support the pod: Follow us on TikTok @youcantdohockey, get bonus content on Patreon @ patreon.com/youcantdothat, and find merch @ shop.spreadshirt...
#176: Our Hero, Whomst
June 01, 2023 15:19 - 1 hour - 136 Bytes"The burden of c*nt to serve." Climb in the Little Stuart car with Eva, Rave, and Kelly for a lightly belated check-in on two rounds of playoffs magic and NHL admin dumbassery featuring media darling Matthew Tkachuk, super-loser Jamie Benn, seductress Sidney Crosby, the agony and ecstasy of Kyle Dubas, and oh so much more. This episode was recorded on May 29, 2023. Support the pod: Follow us on TikTok @youcantdohockey, get bonus content on Patreon @ patreon.com/youcantdothat, find merch @...
#175: The Presidents' Cursey Troph
May 04, 2023 22:53 - 1 hour - 125 Bytes"It's mouth stuff." Round 1 was weird and fun as hell, but now we're heading into Round 2 of Stanley Cuppery with a set of teams that feel like mismatched gag gift shot glasses from the thrift shop. Please don't misunderstand: Rave, Eva, and Kelly are LOVING it. This episode was recorded on May 3, 2023. Get bonus content on Patreon @ patreon.com/youcantdothat and check out our merch @ shop.spreadshirt.com/you-cant-do-that! Thanks. We love you. Timecodes: (2:12) Experience Cuppage | (12:2...
#174: Entwined In Suckitude
April 18, 2023 17:20 - 1 hour - 131 Bytes"Quinn is for the she/hers." The Washington Capitals are officially out of this year’s playoff race, lol. But so are the Pittsburgh Penguins! Thankfully, between the soap opera of these two miserable teams and the various comedies, dramas, and genre films that make up the Round 1 matchups, Kelly, Rave, and Eva have a whole Blockbuster’s worth of DVDs to enjoy. This episode was recorded on April 16, 2023. Get bonus content on Patreon @ patreon.com/youcantdothat and check out our merch @ s...
#173: Wear The Gay Shirt, Bigot!
April 06, 2023 17:02 - 1 hour - 123 Bytes"Wayne WHATsky?!" The only people cruising more calmly to the end of this NHL season than the reigning Bruins are Rave, Kelly, and Eva as the Capitals peter out like a womp-womp trombone. Better luck next year, babes! Let's check in on some of our other boys thriving in new markets and make fun of homophobic idiots instead! This episode was recorded on April 4, 2023. Get bonus content on Patreon @ patreon.com/youcantdothat and check out our merch @ shop.spreadshirt.com/you-cant-do-that! Tha...
#172: Boba Grunge Battle Clowns
March 21, 2023 21:22 - 1 hour - 113 Bytes"Kuzmas is the same." Can someone puhLEAZE tell the Washington Capitals to just stop already? Eva, Kelly, and Rave are tired of trying and we need a solution before these guys beat all odds and logic and wind up in the playoffs through some egregious twist of fate. Plus: Throw him in the Bin-nington; St. Louis Beans; and a visit from an old...well, maybe "friend" isn't the right word. This episode was recorded on March 19, 2023. Get bonus content on Patreon @ patreon.com/youcantdothat and ...
#171: Balms For Lost Boys
March 07, 2023 18:06 - 1 hour - 158 Bytes"The sunk-JT fallacy." This year's trade deadline lasted several years and was chock full of dramas, from the lowbrow (New York Ranger Patrick Kane) to the high (farewell Dima and Garnet, our beloveds), so Kelly, Eva, and Rave spend a nice long time discussing everything. Plus: A thorough analysis of the sun/moon/rising signs of the league's top-line trios. This episode was recorded on March 5, 2023. Get bonus content on Patreon @ patreon.com/youcantdothat and check out our merch @ shop.spr...
#170: Kindred Potatoes
February 21, 2023 17:48 - 1 hour - 111 Bytes"He prestige'd us." Our Washington Capitals proved this week that while they're a bunch of good and handsome dads to their adorable children, they are perhaps slightly less good at playing professional hockey than they should be. Rave, Kelly, and Eva deal with that and weigh in on Tarasenko to NYR, Sid's first game misconduct, and a white blank Toews. This episode was recorded on February 19, 2023. Get bonus content on Patreon @ patreon.com/youcantdothat and check out our merch @ shop.spre...
UNLOCKED Bonus: Just A Little Love Bot (2020)
February 14, 2023 20:17 - 18 minutes - 26 BytesWe thought it'd be a fun Valentine's treat to re-post an old Patreon bonus segment on the main feed today. This one is from way back in February 2020, if you can believe, and was originally described thusly: "Kelly, Eva, and Rave were really On One during the recording of this very silly Valentine's-themed game, but to be fair, so were the AI bots that designed the candy hearts whose messages your hosts are "Which hockey?"-ing." Enjoy! For more (and more recent) bonus games like this, suppo...
#169: Dunk That Donk
February 07, 2023 16:08 - 1 hour - 126 Bytes"We stan a sopping queen." This season's All Star Weekend horseplay had the self awareness to situate itself in an unserious place (Florida) so Eva, Rave, and Kelly are more than happy to bestow upon it their equally unserious commentary. Also: Beau for Bo, the Alexander Semin jumpscare, and the most recent bout in the ongoing saga of Caps vs. Pens. This episode was recorded on February 5, 2023. Get bonus content on Patreon @ patreon.com/youcantdothat and check out our merch @ shop.sprea...
#168: Clear Eyes, Full Hearts, F*cked Up
January 24, 2023 15:31 - 1 hour - 136 Bytes"The Canadian patois." From Tumblr’s infestation of unhinged porn bots to the utterly miserable treatment of our beloved Bruce Boudreau by the Vancouver Canucks, Kelly, Eva, and Rave are going through a lot right now. Commiserate with us! This episode was recorded on January 22, 2023. Get bonus content on Patreon @ patreon.com/youcantdothat and check out our merch @ shop.spreadshirt.com/you-cant-do-that! Thanks. We love you. Timecodes: (04:48) Porn Bot Bio Generator | (12:22) #ALLCAPS ...
#167: Jordan Eberle (Taylor's Version)
January 11, 2023 21:35 - 1 hour - 107 Bytes"REEKS of Barzal." Eva, Kelly, and Rave welcome you to 2023 in all its cringe splendor! In addition to the Caps' week of foreplay leading up to Nicke and Tom's one-goal return game, we saw Trevor Zegras shoplifting sticks mid-shift, Jordan Eberle penning an earnest ode to Islanders hockey, AND the Bruins doing the absolute most for the Winter Classic. Can everyone please calm down. This episode was recorded on January 9, 2023. Get bonus content on Patreon @ patreon.com/youcantdothat and ch...
#166: Slam The Last Dance
December 30, 2022 19:24 - 1 hour - 107 Bytes"Canadian Hogwarts. For clowns." A certain brick-shithouse-built Russian has been busy this month making history or whatever, so Eva, Rave, and Kelly are ready to wrap up 2022 with their own contributions to the hockey canon, namely: jokes, jabs, and japes. This episode was recorded on December 28, 2022. Get bonus content on Patreon @ patreon.com/youcantdothat and check out our merch @ shop.spreadshirt.com/you-cant-do-that! Thanks. We love you. Timecodes: (2:46) We’re All In Hell | (11:1...
#165: Unsuccessful Pattern Mixing
December 13, 2022 21:09 - 1 hour - 119 Bytes"...and a Ziploc full of old bones." It's the week before winter break. How you holdin' up? Kelly, Rave, and Eva check in on the near-dead Capitals, the actually dead Avs, the adventure-bound Wild, and our various plans and schemes to keep these NHLers entertained until the final bell rings to signal the start of vacay. Pray for us. This episode was recorded on December 11, 2022.. Get bonus content on Patreon @ patreon.com/youcantdothat and check out our merch @ shop.spreadshirt.com/you-...
#164: Staal Blindness
November 29, 2022 21:22 - 1 hour - 138 Bytes"Un-thwartable." Rave, Kelly, and Eva are hurtling headfirst toward the holiday season (read: acquainting themselves with this year's Goop Gift Guide). Plus: distinct kicking motions discourse, a whole week of Geno-versaries, and a reminder that we were HAPPY to let our baby goalies go, actually, because we LOVE them and wanted them to THRIVE. So. This episode was recorded on November 27, 2022. Get bonus content on Patreon @ patreon.com/youcantdothat and check out our merch @ shop.spread...
#163: Business Eagle Altruism
November 19, 2022 00:56 - 1 hour - 104 Bytes"Go to therapy, Bowser." Our Washington Capitals are delivering comedy, tragedy, and injury, but hockey continues to be none of the screaming eagle's goddamn business. Also on Eva, Rave, and Kelly's docket this week: windbreakers, Dylan vs. Connor, the purple prose of Josh Yohe, and the hockey team of Genovia. This episode was recorded on November 17, 2022. Get bonus content on Patreon @ patreon.com/youcantdothat and check out our merch @ shop.spreadshirt.com/you-cant-do-that! Thanks. We ...
#162: Dropouts, Quitters, and Sagittarians
November 01, 2022 19:06 - 1 hour - 109 Bytes"A middle school play called 'The Locker Room.'" Low expectations have the NHL standings looking like Opposite Day, but one thing Rave, Eva, and Kelly can depend on is applying astrological fixes to team morale problems. And maybe throwing in a lovable cranky iron man for good measure. This episode was recorded on October 30, 2022. Get bonus content on Patreon @ patreon.com/youcantdothat and check out our merch @ shop.spreadshirt.com/you-cant-do-that! Thanks. We love you. Bonus readin...
#161: Spiritually Booed
October 18, 2022 17:10 - 1 hour - 116 Bytes"We've betrayed our live organist." Sometimes being an adult means looking a reporter dead in the eye to answer “No” when asked if your team has any redeeming qualities. Other times, it means casting hockey players in flirty sexy spooky Halloween horror movie scenarios. But no matter what, being an adult means positioning your dumpster fire so that it doesn’t spread to other dumpsters - and by that metric, Kelly, Eva, and Rave are grown as hell. This episode was recorded on October 16, 2022....
#160: TJ Oshie's Map To The Stars
October 04, 2022 14:30 - 1 hour - 103 Bytes"Extant bitches will thrive." Like TJ Oshie introducing Dylan Strome to the Caps polycule, Eva, Kelly, and Rave are re-introducing each other to the hot goss from the NHL offseason. (But not the Avs' Cup celebrations, because like the Avs, once we get started on that one we're not gonna stop.) Plus: Divining what's in store for a few teams based on classic novel plotlines. This episode was recorded on October 2, 2022. Listen to an extended version of the Novel Plots game (and support u...
Official Trailer: Season 6
September 30, 2022 19:22 - 2 minutes - 3 BytesPatreon: https://www.patreon.com/youcantdothat Merch: https://shop.spreadshirt.com/you-cant-do-that/
#159: A Special Dilf Treat
July 01, 2022 03:08 - 1 hour - 116 Bytes"Sailor suited to high heaven." The Colorado Avalanche won the Stanley Cup, and what a Stanley Cup win it was. Eva, Kelly, and Rave recap Games 2-6 and the team's deeply compelling narratives in all the sumptuous detail they deserve. This episode was recorded on June 29, 2022. Support us on Patreon @ patreon.com/youcantdothat and check out our merch @ shop.spreadshirt.com/you-cant-do-that. Timecodes: (02:47) Animal Husbandry | (12:19) SCF: Game 2 | (17:59) Games 3 & 4 | (29:08) Games...
#158: Twinkophobia
June 18, 2022 01:01 - 1 hour - 116 Bytes"Swarovski Pwingy." Our dear Professor Kelly is back atop the host's throne to lead Rave and Eva through the latest in Stanley Cup catfighting (affectionate) and updates from the NHL coach swap meet. This episode was recorded on June 16, 2022. Support us on Patreon @ patreon.com/youcantdothat and check out our merch @ shop.spreadshirt.com/you-cant-do-that. Timecodes: (02:30) Rangers, Avs, etc. | (37:41) Final: Game 1 | (46:07) Hockstrology | (1:06:06) Elsewhere in the NHL
#157: Absolutely Pompoozled
June 09, 2022 16:32 - 1 hour - 115 Bytes"Why do you even HAVE that cursed amulet??" Rave and Eva (with cameos from Kelly!) recap a week full of meetings: the Oilers met the end of the line, NHL coaches met a buncha new boys at the combine, Hockey Twitter met the Sex Spreadsheet, and Rave met medical marijuana. You can imagine the shenanigans that ensued. This episode was recorded on June 7, 2022. Support us on Patreon @ patreon.com/youcantdothat and check out our merch @ shop.spreadshirt.com/you-cant-do-that. Timecodes: (03:2...
#156: A Meaty Little Mouthful
June 02, 2022 15:07 - 52 minutes - 75 Bytes"God, make me a sword of Gatorade." These not-terrible playoffs continue to hold Eva and Rave's interest! What fun! The latest developments to gnaw on include the Oilers leapfrogging the Flames and the Rangers besting the Canes; plus Swedish hospitality, a respectful Hello to Hilary Knight, and Jordan Binnington's directive from the lord. Amen. This episode was recorded on May 31, 2022. Support us on Patreon @ patreon.com/youcantdothat and check out our merch @ shop.spreadshirt.com/you-ca...
#155: Havegoodday Pretyman
May 26, 2022 19:17 - 1 hour - 107 Bytes"Enough of a peat." Fellas...is it gay to love your brother? Rave and Eva gear up for a Kelly-less exploration of another week of playoffs messiness, including the Panthers' untimely exit, the Rangers' appealing wifery, and Connor McDavid's robotic mole rat star quality. Plus: Some sprinkles of dreamboat-ery. This episode was recorded on May 24, 2022. Support us on Patreon @ patreon.com/youcantdothat and check out our merch @ shop.spreadshirt.com/you-cant-do-that. Timecodes: (03:06) Ye...
#154: Department Of Player Suffering
May 19, 2022 15:15 - 1 hour - 97 Bytes"Horse heist." Round 2 of the 'Loffs continues, and Eva, Kelly, and Rave's loyalties, preferences, and prejudices are evolving accordingly. Brad Marchand? Good! (For now.) Leafs? Upsetting! (For now.) Johnny Gaudreau and Sean Monahan's true love? We're invested! (For now.) Also: Sorry to friend of the pod PJ on the death of your Wild. You were right to be wary. This episode was recorded on May 17, 2022. Support us on Patreon @ patreon.com/youcantdothat and check out our merch @ shop.spre...
#153: Sex Negative
May 13, 2022 19:32 - 1 hour - 110 Bytes""He's putting his whole salad into this." Can wit and charm make compelling some now-outdated playoffs observations from Kelly, Rave, and Eva? Tune in to find out, or at least to be reminded of the mood before Sid got injured, the Bruins got even, and the Wild got got. Plus: Eurovision! This episode was recorded on May 11, 2022. Support us on Patreon @ patreon.com/youcantdothat and check out our merch @ shop.spreadshirt.com/you-cant-do-that. Timecodes: (02:53) Eurovision! | (12:40) Cap...
#152: A Variety Pack Of Stone-Cold Freakos
May 05, 2022 20:22 - 1 hour - 110 Bytes"Unfortunately, we might thrive." The game ones (games one) of the first round of the 2022 Stanley Cup playoffs are under the collective belt of Rave, Eva, and Kelly, and the mood is: pretty okay, actually! It's a little tough to figure out where our loyalties lie, but since every Cup win is a fluke, that may not matter. Plus: The return of the practical backyard games bracket challenge. This episode was recorded on May 4, 2022. Support us on Patreon @ patreon.com/youcantdothat and check ...
#151: Shrieking Screeching Eagle
April 22, 2022 20:24 - 1 hour - 98 Bytes"Do you want us to be on time, or hot?" Eva’s computer tried to do a murder to this episode, so please excuse the audio quality! She and Rave and Kelly simply can’t allow a week of Capitals hockey, several loffs-clinching narratives, and a thought exercise about dropping hockeys into various Hunger Games arenas go unremarked upon. This episode was recorded on April 20, 2022. Support us on Patreon @ patreon.com/youcantdothat and check out our merch @ shop.spreadshirt.com/you-cant-do-that. ...
#150: Mr. Bitch
April 14, 2022 17:47 - 1 hour - 112 Bytes"Take it to Tisch." Can you believe this is the 150th episode of our idiot podcast? Kelly, Rave, and Eva can't, but they CAN use the expertise gleaned from four years of...whatever this is...to determine the topics of podcasts they choose hockeys at random to host. Plus: the suddenly-good-again Washington Capitals?, the crimes of Geno, and the alleged theatrics of Tim Stutzle. This episode was recorded on April 12, 2022. Support us on Patreon @ patreon.com/youcantdothat and check out our ...
#149: Tough Times For Toddlers
April 08, 2022 15:18 - 1 hour - 114 Bytes"A phoenix! But it's a duck. A duck on fire." Close-minded dweebs will tell you that when a team has a players-only meeting before the playoffs, it's a bad sign. Rave, Eva, and Kelly do not agree! They weigh in on this common misconception, plus the Jayvor Zeagle Hotdogging Incident, acclimating the Panthers to life outside the void, and the respect owed (or not) to Keith Yandle. Also: The return of '80s TV news chyrons. This episode was recorded on April 8, 2022. Support us on Patreon @ pa...
#148: Chugging The Friendship Wine
March 31, 2022 19:54 - 1 hour - 118 Bytes"Mike's Hard look in the mirror." The Washington Capitals continue to surprise and delight Eva, Rave, and Kelly with Nicke-themed celebrations, but elsewhere in the NHL the Red Wings, Flames, and Kings are getting up to various and sundry activities, which means it's time to consult the tarot deck. This episode was recorded on March 29, 2022. Support us on Patreon @ patreon.com/youcantdothat and check out our merch @ shop.spreadshirt.com/you-cant-do-that. Timecodes: (02:55) Be A Man | (08...
#147: Nut Bustington
March 24, 2022 19:25 - 1 hour - 122 Bytes"You gotta deprioritize the module." Other than the limits imposed by Philadelphia's gingers-only requirement, this season's trade deadline was...fine. Sure, Claude is a Panther now, and Flower's a Wild, and some other choices leave us with more questions than answers, but it's all hot gossip in the end! And y'all know Kelly, Eva, and Rave love hot goss. This episode was recorded on March 22, 2022. Support us on Patreon @ patreon.com/youcantdothat and check out our merch @ shop.spreadshirt...
#146: Kuzy's Hand Tattoo Island
March 17, 2022 14:42 - 1 hour - 106 Bytes"Dig? Grab?? Hoist?!" This week, topics for Rave, Eva, and Kelly to discuss come fluttering down from the sky like so much beautiful confetti: cults (again!), Nicke's big milestone, Kuzy's hatty, Dowder's new toy, J'Eichel's spite tour, Chandler Stephenson's sage advice, Josty's new adventure, and another round of casting hockeys in self-indulgent fictional narratives. This episode was recorded on March 15, 2022. Support us on Patreon @ patreon.com/youcantdothat and check out our merch @...
#145: Snake Caper
March 11, 2022 03:45 - 1 hour - 92 Bytes"Topical like a salve." Mawwage is what bwings us together, as evidenced by this week's tribute to our mom and dad, Ovi and Nicke, on the occasion of their 1000th game together. Lotta talk about long-term relationships in this one, actually: the Caps and crafting, Eva and the Detroit Red Wings, Robin Lehner and snakes, us and the trade deadline. May as well renew our vows. This episode was recorded on March 9, 2022. Support us on Patreon @ patreon.com/youcantdothat and check out our merch...
#144: What Makes A BoyMan?
February 24, 2022 15:32 - 1 hour - 120 Bytes"Be sedate WITH sheer panels." The success (knock wood) of some of this season's replacement NHL coaches seems to suggest that leading teams from a place of love and respect...works? Kelly, Rave, and Eva discuss this shocking possibility, plus Joe Snively's ascendancy, Jack Eichel's return, celebratory Finns, and, of course, always: boybands. This episode was recorded on February 22, 2022. Support us on Patreon @ patreon.com/youcantdothat and check out our merch @ shop.spreadshirt.com/you...
#143: Crush You, Crumpets
February 18, 2022 00:05 - 1 hour - 99 Bytes"Local short king makes good." If the recent performance of the Washington Capitals is any indication, we’re fully in our clown slip era, so Rave, Eva, and Kelly are leaning in with the help of some of our greatest hits: AI-generated Valentine’s greetings, a stern admonishment that we know Brad Marchand will ignore, and big questions about the Calgary Flames’ trade activities. This episode was recorded on February 15, 2022. Support us on Patreon @ patreon.com/youcantdothat and check out ...
#142: Feel'd Day
February 10, 2022 22:10 - 1 hour - 97 Bytes"Over-produced yet under-interesting." What a weekend! The NHL’s alleged “all stars” gathered in Vegas for embarrassing sketch comedy and some approximation of beer-league hockey and in the process gave Eva, Kelly, and Rave MUCH to discuss. This episode was recorded on February 8, 2022. Support us on Patreon @ patreon.com/youcantdothat and check out our merch @ shop.spreadshirt.com/you-cant-do-that. Timecodes: (02:20) 'Jaws' Theme Intensifies | (08:12) All Star Weekend | (41:15) #ALLCA...
#141: Right-Click-Save That Ape
February 03, 2022 22:10 - 1 hour - 119 Bytes"Flopping loose provolone all around." Kelly, Eva, and Rave kick off the year of the tiger with hearts full of feelings over Braden Holtby and brains full of next-level ideas to improve the All Star Game, the Arizona Coyotes organization, and the Washington Capitals' collective understanding of grade school math. Put us in charge immediately. This episode was recorded on February 3, 2022. Support us on Patreon @ patreon.com/youcantdothat and check out our merch @ shop.spreadshirt.com/you...