E100: Ten Things I've Learned in 100 Episodes!

full show notes, links and more at www.valerielavignelife.com/100 

[00:41] I listened and my heart felt so full. I was remembering the version of me who was so terrified and excited to start the podcast. My goal was to bring inspiration and excitement to women everywhere and I had no clue what I was doing - but I did it anyway! In this trailer episode I tell a story about a young woman who was seeking a change. A woman who broke free from the expectations of others and went to live her dream! That woman was me. During this time in my life I was discovering myself, and along the journey I met many mirrors. Some very strong, wise, beautiful, and empowering humans who completely lit up my life and inspired me to keep stepping into my true self.  It also inspired me to create what is now the Women’s Empowerment Podcast. And today the 100th episode of the show! I can’t even believe it!! It’s so incredible and I am so proud and so full of love for what this has become! Typically, every 10 episodes I do a Q&A show where I answer questions around specific topics, but today is a little different. Today I’m going to share some of the biggest lessons I’ve learned in the last 100 shows I’ve produced. Plus I'll be sharing more about how the show will evolve moving forward.   [2:15] LESSON ONE: JUST START! I listened to podcasts for a few years before starting this one. I dreamed about how cool it would be to have my own podcast and it stayed a dream for a really long time.  When I first decided that I wanted to have a show of my own, my mind immediately went to all of the reasons why I shouldn’t or couldn’t have my own show, and then I sat down and mapped out a plan. I thought, “if they could do it, so could I!” [they being everyone else I was listening to and following at the time.] As a coach, I understand the importance of taking action, and there really is no time like the present… so my plan was to start with a live show on instagram and facebook that I would host each week and I would save the video/recording and use it for the podcast.  I had NO CLUE what I was doing. I had only tired IG Live maybe once before? It was pretty intimidating at the time because most people weren’t really using it then. So anyway I gave myself five episodes, which was over five weeks to figure out how to turn those recordings into podcast content, and somehow it all worked out and I did it! I launched the podcast version of the show within five weeks.  It was WAY more time than anyone needs to start a podcast, you could do it today! However, because I was also overcoming these limiting beliefs and fears, I was taking that little bit of time. Over that time I was also growing my confidence and developing my skills.  As I think back to that time I am very proud of myself for actually doing the work. It’s not easy to grow and leap out of the comfort zone and to do something you’ve never done, but that doesn’t mean you can’t do it. My only regret with the show is that I didn’t start sooner. Just start!!   [5:10] LESSON TWO: UPGRADE YOU HABITS If you’ve been listening to the show for a while now, you may have already figured out that healthy habits are kind of my thing. Habits have changed my life, and whether you’ve noticed it or not, they’ve changed yours too. I first understood the power of habits after reading Darren Hardy’s book: The Compound Effect. I highly recommend reading this no fluff, amazing book to everyone I meet! It clearly explains how habits truly impact our lives: the good habits AND the bad habits!! To know what kind of habits you have, start by tracking your days and weeks. Write out a list of everything you do each day, from when you wake up, to when you go to bed. If it applies, also record the quantity with the habit. For example: time on social media scrolling 30 minutes. Or drinking water, 2 litres. It might change each day, that’s okay, keep recording. After about a week or so, notice where you’re spending your time. What are some of the things you are doing each day? If you kept doing these things every day, where do you think you’d be in three years? As another example, let’s say you grab an afternoon latte every weekday. The medium size is $3.65, plus tax. That’s 18.25 a week, plus tax. Now fast forward to three years and countless coffees later… That’s $1,847 … plus tax. Maybe your afternoon latte is a very important ritual for you and you want to keep that going, but what about your other rituals, habits, and routines? Where can you “upgrade” your habits? Here are some examples: Start your morning with meditation or a brain game instead of checking emails and scrolling on social media. Incorporate a daily movement practice into your routine and get some fresh air, or stretch your legs at lunch instead of staying in and working through your break. Swap the daily news for an empowering podcast while you commute to work.  There are a million and one ways to upgrade your habits. Start with one of them and stack your habits from there. When I started my podcast I had a really strong morning routine. And before lockdown it stayed very strong and consistent. Now, my day-to-day has changed yet again and I’m working out how I can upgrade my morning in a new way as my life and habits are evolving.   [10:06] LESSON THREE: The Deep Work Can Be Scary On the show we talk a lot about mindset and positivity. This is a huge part of our mental, emotional, as well as spiritual health. This type of health and wellness is slowly starting to become more mainstream, and even though it is more talked about, it doesn’t really make the work that much easier. Facing fears, removing mindset blocks, and meeting the shadow parts of ourselves can be really scary. We’ve been suppressing all of this for so long and it keeps building up, so the longer we wait to confront it and heal it, the tougher it gets.  I can’t tell you how many times I’ve cried, or I’ve thought about giving up, or how many times I’ve asked myself, “what is the point!?” This shit is tough. Like REALLY tough. And if you’re going through this deep, dark inner work, I FEEL YOU! I want to tell you it gets easier, but it doesn’t. It’s probably going to get harder. But you are also going to be stronger, and braver, and more empowered than ever before. And when we start to slip into bad habits or old ways of thinking again, we can catch ourselves quicker and undo or reset a lot faster. Lately I’ve been noticing imposter syndrome creeping up on me and I, quicker than ever, shut that ish down! I recognize that this is not serving me, and what I see in this other human being who is making big waves, is what I also see in myself. A thought-leader, a change-maker, a human of light who is raising people up by stepping into my own truth and light. Your light can never be too bright, and don’t you dare let anyone tell you otherwise.  And we have to use our light to work through the dark parts of ourselves because at the end of the day we’re all human, and we’re all going through a lot of stuff. We’re in this together.   [12:19] LESSON FOUR: QUALITY OVER QUANTITY A few months before… hmm maybe it was a year before starting the podcast I partnered with dōTERRA and started using essential oils in my home and my life. I actually started using the oils because I wanted some holistic support for my anxiety. Within weeks I started feeling so much better and soon after I decided to sell dōTERRA’s essential oils and wellness products. I’ve never looked back. I honestly can’t even remember my life before dōTERRA. These products support every area of my health from physical, to social, to mental, emotional, spiritual, occupational and every other aspect of my life. One of the top reasons why I chose dōTERRA over any other oil company was because of their QUALITY. The quality of their oils exceeds any other essential oil company on the market. This includes their sourcing from all over the world while supporting families and communities, as well as their methods for distilling and third party testing to ensure quality with every single bottle of oil that arrives at our doorsteps.  They are exceptional leaders in this industry and I am so proud to be a partner with them. The quality in these products also means the oils actually work. They have supported my own mental health journey, and they are supporting millions of households globally as well.  I cannot speak enough about the importance of knowing more about what we are consuming, such as where it is coming from, and what impact it is making on the world. Not just with oils, but with all things. Episode 61: I Didn’t Buy Clothes for an Entire Year The changes we make in our lives don’t have to be so extreme, however the simple act of bringing awareness to our actions is incredibly important and can help us in doing better for a better world.  This year I invested in reusable produce bags and snack/sandwich bags, as well as beeswax wraps and more so that we could reduce the amount of single use plastic we consume. Reusable Produce Bags Reusable Snack/Sandwich Bags Beeswax Wrap Using quality products, having quality thoughts, creating quality content. Whether you are focusing on your health, your wealth, or your happiness… always choose quality over quantity.   [15:25] LESSON FIVE: LEAD FROM THE FRONT In today’s world we are constantly being watched. That came out a little creepy, but you know what I mean. People are watching, listening, learning, and absorbing everything we post, say, and do. We are impacting lives, and as leaders, it’s important to lead by example. There is no room for inauthenticity, for talking the talk without walking the walk.  To build trust with yourself and with your audience you have to do what you say you’re going to do. Or do the things you are teaching others to do.  In the last 100 episodes my life has changed. I’m taking every area of my life has been overhauled or impacted in the last two years. There has been growth, loss, and pain, and laughter. All of it. Yes, some parts of my life are more private than others and I have decided to post and share a more positive outlook and perspective AND I also talk about the tough work. I don’t show up crying every episode or every day on stories telling you the long list of negative thoughts that went through my mind when something out of my control happens.  Instead, I take the time to connect to my inner self. I reach for my tools like my oils, and my healthy habits, and I come back to a place where I am able to respond rather than react. And I show up as the leader I want to be, and the leader I want my team members to be and I say, listen. Today was a tough day, and here is how I supported myself in this time. Perhaps there is some new information, or some helpful reminders that you might be able to incorporate into your life or healing also.  Take it or leave it, this is me. Those that choose to join and follow and subscribe, amazing! Those that don’t, that’s okay too.  Leaders. Your people will find you. Keep showing up. Keep leading by example. Your actions will speak volumes compared to your words.   [17:55] LESSON SIX: CONFIDENCE COMES FROM WITHIN There have been a lot of episodes on confidence in the show and they have become quite popular too. Episode 68: Taking the Big Leap Out of Your Comfort Zone Episode 53: How to Build Your Confidence Tool Kit Episode 28: Know Your Worth Episode 79: Confidence and the Core Chakra Lately I’ve been recognizing languaging and actions that stem from insecurities. I’m mostly noticing it in other people, and remember that the other people in our lives are our mirrors… so this is very valuable information about ourselves as well. I did mention that my life has been overhauled in many ways. As I’m sure a lot of people's lives have been this year. One of the areas of my life that has been greatly impacted is my career and business. I recently became a co-owner of a pilates studio. HELL-O! WOW this is honestly a dream come true, but also it’s so huge and new that there is fear and limiting beliefs, and the negative mindset comes up from time to time.  And when I feel my insecurities or negativity creeping in, I have to really remind myself of my own capabilities. Yes there are things that can help impact us positively and negatively, but our confidence, our power comes from within. We have to continue to connect to this core confidence so that it is so strong and unshakable. So that we can take leaps and make our dreams a reality without getting in our own way.  The biggest, most debilitating mistake is searching for your self confidence in others. Waiting for accolades, and for others to tell us that we are great. Of course I love positive feedback and reinforcement. This is a way to remind me of my own power. I didn’t create a podcast with over 100 episodes because other people believed in me. It was finally created because I believed in myself. I want to shake my friends sometimes because I see their light and their greatness and their potential but they do not see themselves this way and they don’t go after their dreams. I recognize this SO WELL because I have been in their position before too. Where people want to shake the sense into you.   [21:02] LESSON SEVEN: YOU GET WHAT YOU BELIEVE YOU DESERVE This lesson grows off of the previous lesson. Our self worth directly corresponds to our net worth. You get whatever YOU BELIEVE you deserve. Not think or say or feel, what you BELIEVE. You have to believe in yourself, you have to believe that you DESERVE your dreams because YOU DO! YOU DESERVE THE ABSOLUTE BEST! You deserve success and happiness, and anything else you desire that is serving the greater good.  If you’re hitting a wall or a block or something of the sort, check in with yourself. What do you believe you are worth? Care for yourself, show up, be brave, be bold, learn to love yourself more and more and you will build your self worth. While this is happening watch how your success and happiness builds too! Start believing in yourself and in your greatness.   [22:22] LESSON EIGHT: CONSISTENCY IS THE KEY TO SUCCESS I honestly feel like this lesson doesn’t really need to go into depth because it’s pretty straight forward. Especially if you think of it from a health and wellness perspective. You can’t workout one time and expect to see results. Do you want to get stronger? Do you want to feel better in your body? Do you want to move every day? Do you want better posture, flexibility, mobility, etc? Then keep working out. Not just one time, but consistently over a long time, and then keep doing it. Last year I hit a really hard wall in my business. I can remember sitting on the couch with tears welling in my eyes. I started by business years ago and had felt like I had only grown an inch. That was the day I questioned my purpose. I SERIOUSLY questioned if I should quit going after my dreams and get a J-O-B. I genuinely thought about the idea but it felt like a death of my soul. You must understand: giving up on dreams for me is soul-crushing! But my heart was heavy and hurting because I had been working so-forking-hard and it only felt like it was getting harder! In my overwhelming despair I decided to draw a bath. I sat with my heavy emotions, and my negative self talk. And after a while I started to let go of all the pain, and come back into alignment with my purpose instead. My purpose is to help busy and empowered women create healthy habits so that they can become the best version of themselves and transform their lives. So that’s what I did. I helped myself create healthy habits so that I could show up as the best version of myself and transform my own life. And I’m so forking glad I didn’t give up on myself because now I;m even stronger at serving and supporting others. Plus nearly a year later, I leveled up with a new and daring adventure as a new business owner of a brick and mortar pilates studio and this has been a dream of mine since… I was 16 I think? A long time!   [25:13] LESSON NINE: THE WORLD NEEDS TO HEAR YOUR VOICE! In a previous episode about the throat chakra I shared the journey of my childhood struggles with my throat, tonsils and my ability or I guess lack thereof, to be seen and heard. Episode 58: Speak Your Truth with the Fifth Chakra I cannot specifically remember if this was part of my hesitation with starting my own podcast. To be honest this is such a common mindset block for a lot of entrepreneurs, and it felt very prominent in my journey as well. It’s the limiting belief of not feeling like our voice or our message is worthy. Why would anyone want to listen to me? Who cares about what I have to say? Well actually… the show has received over 17,000 unique downloads completely organically over the last 100 episodes, and I get messages all the time from people telling me how much they enjoy the show. This morning I received a voice note about episode 99 and how much they liked it!  WHO ARE YOU NOT TO SPEAK YOUR TRUTH?  WHO ARE YOU NOT TO SHARE YOUR VOICE? WHO ARE YOU NOT TO BECOME THE POWERHOUSE HUMAN THAT YOU WERE MEANT TO BE? There is someone out there who is listening to you. Who needs YOU, your message, your voice, your perspective, your support.  I say this in the intro episode of the show: “I believe that the Universe has guided you here for a reason. You can call it luck, chance, guidance, or synchronicity, but for whatever reason, your path has aligned with mine. And as of this moment. We are connected.” Your people will find you. And they want to hear from you.   [27:26] LESSON TEN: LISTEN TO THE NUDGES, LET IT BE EASY “Let it be easy” has been my mantra over the years. Wherever I feel frustrated or blocked or challenged I stop, take a breath, and say my mantra out loud: LET IT BE EASY. When I am ready, I will go back to whatever I was working on and more often than not the work flows. We are always receiving messages. Often from our bodies about our health, and sometimes from the Universe. Most of the time I am being reminded to take breaks and breathe. Other times I am being pointed in a new direction. Whenever I am feeling confused about my next move, I stop, breathe, and say “let it be easy” and I trust that I will be guided to a path that is free flowing and smooth. The nudges are the clues, the hints, the signals, the messages that the Universe sends us. It’s always working in our favour, we’re just not always listening…  I received nudges to move my podcast from weekly live shows and videos to pre-recorded episodes and videos. Then, that transitioned into audio podcast episodes and no more videos. Soon I also felt called to host guests on the show, and now as we grow more, I have new nudges to follow. But before I get to the new evolution of the show, let’s take a peak at the top three episodes so far!   [29:18] THREE MOST POPULAR EPISODES SO FAR! #3: Episode 01: New Moon, New Beginnings This is the very first episode and live recording of the show. It was a new moon on this day and that is pretty auspicious and special - if you like to follow the moon phases, which obviously if this is the third most popular episode, you must follow it! Haha  This episode talks about the moon phases, the new adventure in podcasting, as well as manifesting with the moon. Here's the best part. There is a video and I am nervous, and excited, and adorable. These videos and looking back is so cool in recognizing growth in yourself. It’s pretty amazing evidence of where we’ve come from; and how far we’ve come. #2: Episode 92: An Action Plan for How to Be a Morning Person This is essentially a 15 minute guide to creating your morning routine. I break down the benefits of a morning routine, and the step-by-step formula to making your very own. #1: Episode 81: 5 Tips for Positive Self Talk Simple, yet powerful, in this episode I break down 5 tips for talking more positively to yourself. I also include information about the importance of this and how to navigate the negative self talk as well.   [31:28] Okay now! WHAT TO EXPECT FOR FUTURE EPISODES: → More guest episodes! But not as bonuses, as part of the weekly content that I am sharing! We have some amazing guests coming up and I am really pumped about it! You can expect to hear from them soon! → I am monetizing the podcast! WOO WHOO! Currently I am enrolled in a new course to learn more about sponsorships and brand partnerships. I am so excited to be doing this because I know it will help myself and the show grow! I spend a lot of time producing the show and creating the content, I want to be able to offer more, and I also want to get paid to keep it growing. Super excited about this! Great things are happening! Thank you so very much for celebrating this 100th episode with me! I will be popping some champagne I think tonight, or at least I will be this weekend! I appreciate you and I can’t wait for us to grow together! Find me on instagram @vallavignelife