Welcome to Kiehl Avenue

Episode 26 - Burnt Offerings by Robert Marasco

November 16, 2019 18:09 - 1 hour - 88.3 MB

This week L & L go on vacation to a spooky run down mansion to feed a hidden old lady. Can silverware ever be shined to much? Will chlorine fix cracks in concrete? Do you fear snapping bones when crawling out of bed? Is death a man in a limo? Boil an egg for the woman in the locked room, and don't forget your child and comatose spouse by the pool. It's time to find out what we are giving as...Burnt Offerings. *This episode was recorded in April of 2019*

Psycho by Robert Bloch

November 03, 2019 15:09 - 1 hour - 65.1 MB

Happy Halloween my spoopy skeletons! I know I was supposed to post this on thursday, but when you're creeps like us, every day is Halloween! Enjoy this mysterious podcast as we uncover the truth as to whom has been murdering people at Bates "Hotel". You'll never guess this sick and problematic ending! Listen as we tell our trick 'r treatin woes and shenanigans. Grab a glass of wine y'all cuz this podcast is about to get cheesy!

Episode 25 - Psycho by Robert Bloch

November 03, 2019 15:09 - 1 hour - 65.1 MB

Happy Halloween my spoopy skeletons! I know I was supposed to post this on thursday, but when you're creeps like us, every day is Halloween! Enjoy this mysterious podcast as we uncover the truth as to whom has been murdering people at Bates "Hotel". You'll never guess this sick and problematic ending! Listen as we tell our trick 'r treatin woes and shenanigans. Grab a glass of wine y'all cuz this podcast is about to get cheesy!

Bonus Episode 6 - Creepshow Shudder Series

October 25, 2019 10:00 - 1 hour - 85.8 MB

Lindsay is the creative writer so... Here ya go.. Take this episode... It's brilliant...

Bonus Episode 5- Man of Medan

October 19, 2019 03:40 - 53 minutes - 59.3 MB

This week we take a look at a game that is so poorly written, it's scary! Have you ever thrown money at a blind man? Proposed to a woman underwater in front of dead people? Broken promises you made to your little brother? Accidentally read satanic ritual books? Well you sure as hell can in this game! Grab your hot cocoa and come listen to us sleepily rant about the Man of Medan!

Episode 24 - Dark Harvest by Norman Partridge

October 12, 2019 00:53 - 55 minutes - 36 MB

This week L & L are not allowed to grab a rusty machete, hop into a Chrysler, and hunt down a pumpkin headed boy. They watch from the shadows as a strange yearly ritual takes place in a town of secrets. They watch as boys chase down a being stuffed with candy in order to sate their forced starvation. They see the lengths in which society will go in order to obey tradition, among other things. They witness countless cold blooded murders by adults against children. They learn the truth that no...

Bonus Episode 4 - Incubus (1982) directed by John Hough

October 05, 2019 01:42 - 48 minutes - 32.2 MB

This week L & L visit a New England town being terrorized by a demon that really likes raping women to death. How many ruptured uteruses can one movie have? Can you spot the pseudo incest vibes? Is the scariest part of this film the main character's face? Are you beautiful? Get into your PJs, sip a bedtime coke, and ready your incubus dagger. It's time to hide in the bathroom and hope you don't end up a chalk line with a bloody crotch. No one can save you from the...Incubus.

Bonus Episode 3 - Frightmare Weekend 2019

September 27, 2019 22:03 - 29 minutes - 19 MB

This week L & L return from the dead to talk about Frightmare Weekend 2019, 5 months late! We explain our hiatus, what's coming next, and talk to much about tattoos. We are ready to scare ourselves this Halloween season. So slip into your skin suits and get ready all you spooky skeletons! The Kiehl Girls are back and ready to slaughter!

Episode 23 - Funland by Richard Laymon

May 11, 2019 01:56 - 1 hour - 88 MB

This week L&L take a trip to the boardwalk to hunt trolls. Are your teens beating up homeless people? Should you be afraid of a Ferris Wheel? How far would you go to get a glimpse of a coochie scar? What is a blood lover? Can you push a split head back together? Get your troll costume on and your corpse bridges ready. Let's meet at midnight and crawl into the warmth of...Funland.

Episode 22 - Books of Blood Vol. 1 by Clive Barker

April 27, 2019 01:01 - 1 hour - 85.5 MB

This week L & L catch a glimpse of a fake psychic jacking off upstairs, and realize ghosts really hate that shit. What should you do if your oven roasted turkey attacks? Who's skinning your acquaintances? Would you be into a never ending zombie blowjob? How the hell did that thing move? Like for real, that makes no sense! If you think you're being antagonized by an invisible demon, don't worry your house just isn't level. Stay off the subway and away from beautiful pigs and you may survive. ...

Episode 21 - The Haunting of Hill House by Shirley Jackson

April 13, 2019 15:05 - 1 hour - 105 MB

This week L & L explore the sprawling gothic estate of Hill House. Can ghosts have picnics? Is that the smell of blood or paint? Where the hell does the iron staircase lead? Is he planning to shoot a ghost? Wake up and play hide and seek, but remember to never venture outside, in the night, in the dark. Pack your bags and follow around your favorite lesbian. It's time to come home and experience...The Haunting of Hill House.

Episode 20 - Castaways by Brian Keene

March 29, 2019 23:00 - 1 hour - 96.7 MB

This week L & L decide to become reality TV stars, and are stranded on an "uninhabited" island. How far would you go to be the last one standing? What's that horrible stench? Who are the real monsters here? He had what kind of a dick?! Grab a nerdy hunk, your lucky hat, and a rape whistle and start paddling to shore. Congratulations, you have been chosen as a contestant on...Castaways.

Episode 19 - Kill Creek by Scott Thomas

March 16, 2019 02:28 - 1 hour - 85.1 MB

This week L & L visit a haunted house in order to increase our fame! Can a finger poke be considered assault? How many times must we be reminded of a character's weight? What's behind the brick wall? He ejaculated while what happened?! Hold onto your obvious and easy to guess secrets and keep your egg yolk pupils wide. It's time we turn our attention to the house on...Kill Creek.

Episode 18 - Forever will you Suffer by Gary Frank

March 01, 2019 23:00 - 1 hour - 106 MB

This week L & L are stalked by a jealous ghost in a house that can jump through time. How goth can one book be? How often can one character puke? Will any of our burning questions be resolved? What is double rape you ask? Hop in you taxi and ignore the smell of rotting flesh, your zombie chauffeur knows the way. It's time for some past life regression therapy to remember Athens. It's too late to escape. Abigail has promised...Forever will you Suffer.

Episode 17 - Baby Talk - Books 1 & 2: The Womb has Ears by Mike Wells

February 16, 2019 00:09 - 44 minutes - 62 MB

This week L & L meet little Natasha and learn to be careful what you say around a womb. Can you stop two cars colliding with just your torso? Would someone tell that nurse to back the fuck off? Is your baby setting traps with poop? Ah, Satan! Go ahead and chug that chocolate milk and dodge that projectile vomit. It's time to get down on the level of baby's and mice. Let's listen in on some...Baby Talk.

Episode 16 - The House that Jack Built by Jonathan Paul Isaacs

February 01, 2019 23:00 - 1 hour - 132 MB

This week L & L stay home in hot ass Louisiana and decide it's a good idea to flip a haunted house. Should you give your enemies explosive diarrhea? Do ghosts hate death metal? Was it necessary to pop that frog? What are our controversial views on spankings? Are all rednecks this stupid? What's a bully stick? Get the hell out of your stolen bubble baths and high tail it away from those zombies. It's time we got to work fixing...The House that Jack Built.

Episode 15 - Babel's Children by J.N. Williamson

January 18, 2019 23:00 - 1 hour - 93.7 MB

This week L & L become locked in a struggle between good and evil...right? Why is this book so inconsistent? How does a psychic lawyer know literally everything? How can the antagonist make no impact on the story? Are you a freak for individualizing your twins? Is there a point to this book? Get your eye lazors ready and remember...blame Shaitin for all your mistakes. Let's head to the Shinar's because it's time to meet...Babel's Children.

Episode 14 - Hark! The Herald Angels Scream edited by Christopher Golden

January 05, 2019 02:21 - 1 hour - 124 MB

This week L & L explore tales of festive bloodshed and holiday misfortune. Could the expression 'love me' ever be truly terrifying? Should you rethink sending your relative into a nursing home? Can a song about shoes cause chaos? Send your children up the chimney after those ghosts, and don't forget to share your Jesus capsules with the other captives. Let's stop our game of yankee swap and listen, for...Hark! The Herald Angels Scream!

Episode 13 - Silent Night by R.L. Stine

December 21, 2018 23:00 - 1 hour - 97.4 MB

This week L&L head to Dalby Department Store for some pre-holiday robbery and murder. How far will one teen go to get back at her asshole cousin? Who's that creeping up on the spoiled rich bitch? Why do we sit on Santa's lap? Where's the car!? Make sure to check your lipsticks before applying, and don't open strange gifts. Head on over to the 7 Eleven for some cheese dip, and keep your eyes on those security cameras. Looks like it's going to be a...Silent Night.

Episode 12 - Come Out Tonight by Richard Laymon

December 08, 2018 00:39 - 1 hour - 139 MB

This week L & L head to the Speed-D-Mart to pick up some covert condoms and come face to face with a psychotic killer. We they be able to handle the amount of sexism present in this book? Can you fall in love at first corpse? There's a woman doing what in the public bathroom? Why is everyone in this book rich? He ate his what?! Put on your hawaiian shirts and be ready to tuck and roll, because you have decided to...Come Out Tonight.

Episode 11 - Sour Candy by Kealan Patrick Burke

November 24, 2018 02:35 - 1 hour - 104 MB

This week L & L hop in the car and head over to Walmart to gawk at a stranger's parenting style. Is it rude to say no to eating dirty stolen candy? How upset would you be to have a screaming demonic child forced upon you? Can teeth rot from sugar overload in only nine days? Keep an eye out for those deer headed monstrosities and keep ahead of the cops. It's time to take a trip straight into hell, so grab a fistful and fill your mouths with...Sour Candy.

Episode 10 - The Hellbound Heart by Clive Barker

November 09, 2018 23:00 - 1 hour - 93.8 MB

This week L & L dream of experiencing the ultimate pleasures. Are you prepared for what it will entail? Follow the scarred coochie into the portal of hell to be taught the truth. How many men would you kill to revive your rapist? How much piss do these beings need as payment? Make sure to leave a little of yourself behind or you'll never find your way back. Pull yourselves together and slip on your skin suits, because it's time we cut open and examine...The Hellbound Heart.

Episode 9 - The Halloween Tree by Ray Bradbury

October 27, 2018 01:00 - 1 hour - 84.4 MB

This week L & L, along with special guest Clara Fowler (the artist behind WtKA), travers a fever dream of confusion on a quest to discover the real meaning of Halloween. Will this book test the limits of Leigh's attention span and Lindsay's understanding of everything? How many theories can we collectively come up with? How deeply poetic can one children's book get? Why is Pip the best boy? Put on your costumes and get ready to trace the history of this most spookiest holiday. Let's all wand...

Bonus Episode 2 - Campire Tales (1997)

October 20, 2018 02:44 - 49 minutes - 68.9 MB

This week L & L take a trip back to the 90s and recall the first movie they remember seeing together, and it still terrifies them. In this anthology film we navigate our way through creepy dark woods, a suburban home, and a haunted house. What are those dirty hobos going to do to you at night? Are M&Ms more important than safety? (duh). Why would you pick that up? Is that deja vu you're feeling or are you just very dead? Grab a warm drink and huddle around the fire, for we are about to hear ...

Bonus Episode 1 - Call Girl of Cthulhu directed by Chris LaMartina

October 13, 2018 01:04 - 48 minutes - 67.5 MB

This week L & L join the cult of Cthulhu and perform the ritual to raise the great one himself! On the way they encounter grand PAs, a ten foot long penis, plenty of ass, and some titty mouth snakes. Will they be able to combat sleep deprivation to keep this story coherent? Why does the broodmother have permanent O face? Is that plastic fan slicing a face off? I don't think that's an STD dude. Put your rag masks on and stick those pacifiers between your goopy pus lips because it's time we fo...

Episode 8 - Goosebumps: Slappy World Vol 1 & 2 by R. L. Stine

October 07, 2018 03:36 - 1 hour - 122 MB

This week L & L take a nostalgic trip to their childhoods and find out what Slappy the dummy has been up to since the 90s. Is he still as frightening as we remember? Are we a little to obsessed with the tv show? Is it just us or is this pirate book boring as hell? So that cat can just talk? Doesn't it seem like we've read this before? Make sure to practice your ventriloquist act for the family talent show, and don't get in to much trouble or you may be forced to work on the banana farm. List...

Episode 7 - Ring by Koji Suzuki

September 21, 2018 20:37 - 1 hour - 120 MB

This week L&L dust off the VCR and go on a hunt for a haunted VHS tape. Lets compare the films and novel and see just how different they really are. Why do people keep watching this tape? What do a pile of crawling men have to do with it? Has anyone ever seen Spiral? Tune up your radio frequency ESP and put on your detective hats. You have seven days to break the curse and escape from...Ring.

Episode 6 - Dead Sea by Brian Keene

September 08, 2018 03:53 - 1 hour - 116 MB

This week L & L go adrift in a blood thirsty zombie apocalypse. What in this world can't be a zombie? Who's idea was it to give a grenade to a child? How many things can go wrong in one book? Jump in your life boats and stay ahead of those dolphins, because it's time to dive into...Dead Sea.

Episode 5 - The Loon by Michaelbrent Collings

August 25, 2018 01:00 - 1 hour - 113 MB

This week L & L become stranded in a prison for violent lunatics. How long until the power is blown and the snow storm begins? Why do we call the owner of this facility God? How many stupid plans can these characters come up with? Wait, how many characters are there? Be watchful of the shadows, for you have been sentenced to a night in...The Loon.

Episode 4 - My Best Friend's Exorcism by Grady Hendrix

August 11, 2018 01:27 - 1 hour - 129 MB

This week L & L take on a story of friendship and demons set in the 1980s. Do worms have the ability to smell ice cream? What's in the bucket? Better dodge the milky white vomit coming at your shoes, and never forget to protect your gift! Let's drop some acid and skinny dip in a shallow lake! You are officially invited to...My Best Friend's Exorcism.

Episode 3 - Seeing Red by David Schow

July 28, 2018 01:10 - 48 minutes - 64.6 MB

This week L & L read Seeing Red, an anthology of horror. Are any monsters peeping through your windows? Do zombies pay people for favors? Will describing a movie as "eating shit" really jump start your career? Could roaches secretly be running your favorite movie establishments? Did Lindsay understand anything she read? Let the gore drip from the ceiling and fill your eyes. This time you're...Seeing Red.

Episode 2 - Hell House by Richard Matheson

July 14, 2018 02:49 - 1 hour - 144 MB

This week L & L explore a windowless mansion stained with depravity. How are a house cat and a starving leopard alike? How much abuse can one pair of tits take? How many times will Leigh bring up Scary Movie 2? Relax into a trance and let us be your spirit guides into the horror that is...Hell House!

Episode 1 - Beware by Richard Laymon

July 01, 2018 06:56 - 1 hour - 115 MB

This week L & L break down the splatterpunk novel Beware by Richard Laymon. How many sexual assaults can one book feature? What does immortal really mean? He chewed what!? Listen as we go on for far to long on the merits of the color of spray paint. Grab your chips and hot sauce and dive in with us. Oh and you better....beware!