We're Not F***ing Historians
34 episodes - English - Latest episode: almost 2 years ago - ★★★★★ - 99 ratingsComedian Shane Todd and author and director Hazel Hayes are on a mission to understand the colourful past of the island they call home. From the Bronze Age to Bono, Paganism to St. Patrick, every Tuesday they share a new tale from Ireland's history and have plenty of craic while they’re at it. So pull up a chair, pin back your ears, and get ready for an education in life on the Emerald Isle.
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Homepage Apple Podcasts Google Podcasts Overcast Castro Pocket Casts RSS feed
Episodes
Ernest Shackleton, 69 dogs and a cat called Mrs Chippy
May 10, 2022 04:00 - 35 minutes - 81.8 MBAN IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENT! Today marks the very last episode of We’re Not F***ing Historians. Thank you so, so much for listening to the show, it’s been great craic! We couldn’t – and wouldn’t – have done it without you. Now listen in to find out how Shane and Hazel would react to being stranded in the Antarctic. Missed any of our episodes? There’s THIRTY more waiting for your delectation. Drop an email to [email protected] with your favourite moments from the show! **Please take th...
When Austin Powers tried to steal the crown jewels
May 03, 2022 04:00 - 35 minutes - 48.3 MBHazel tells Shane all about the extraordinary life of Colonel Thomas Blood, the infamous con-artist who after botching a kidnapping took the next logical step: attempted the only known heist of the Crown Jewels. Cue lots of innuendos. Also, do all populist leaders have fat heads? And did Boy George cause the Great Fire of London? Want us to cover a topic? Got a guest suggestion? Drop an email to [email protected]! ***Please take the time to rate and review us on Apple Podcasts or wh...
Michael Fry: Family trees, strange ancestors and rumours about Shane’s da
April 26, 2022 04:00 - 32 minutes - 44 MBWelcome to our very first guest episode of the pod! Shane and Hazel welcome comedian and everyone’s favourite one-man Indie band Michael Fry to the show! Having worked at Ancestry in a previous life, he’s here to give us a history lesson about his own family tree, including one particularly odd ancestor. Plus, Michael reveals some of the weirdest requests he received and how he hopes history will remember him. We’re going to speak to many more familiar Irish faces! Who should we have on ...
The DeLorean: Northern Ireland’s Supercar
April 19, 2022 04:00 - 34 minutes - 48.1 MBNever mind it could only do 0-60mph in 10 seconds and its creator was caught in an FBI drugs sting operation. The DeLorean – Doc’s DeLorean in Back to the Future - was built in Northern Ireland! Shane tells Hazel the story behind one of the worst and yet most iconic sports cars ever built and how on earth the eccentric John DeLorean was persuaded to manufacture it in 1970s Belfast. Want to suggest an episode topic? Drop an email to [email protected]! You can also message us your fav...
The Children of Lir: “Something about swans mate”
April 12, 2022 09:29 - 34 minutes - 47 MBThe Children of Lir is one of Ireland’s most famous myths. What people don’t know is that Mick Hucknall is one of its main characters. Hazel and Shane ‘the Bone Man’ Todd also find out about Dermot O’Leary’s needle, what woodlice and Mick have in common and the animal Shane would most like to be. Want to suggest an episode topic? Drop an email to [email protected]! You can also message us your favourite trivia or anything you want to add to previous episodes! ***Please take the time...
The Coleraine tailor who saved George Washington's life
April 05, 2022 04:00 - 36 minutes - 50 MBBest friend to Alexander Hamilton, spy for George Washington, and the Gok Wan of 1770s New York – Hercules Mulligan was quite the character. We find out all about the tailor from Coleraine who shaped the course of American history and, if Shane has anything to do with it, is about to quadruple Liam Neeson’s career earnings. Plus, Hazel is sentenced to life imprisonment in Alcatraz. Want to suggest an episode topic? Drop an email to [email protected]! You can also message us your fa...
Australia’s Robin Hood
March 29, 2022 04:00 - 35 minutes - 48.9 MBThis week, we’re heading Down Under for a truly mad tale suggested to us by listener Georgia in Melbourne! Ned Kelly is one of Australia’s most infamous criminals – and one of its greatest anti-heroes. Hazel tells Shane all about the Kelly family's path from rural Ireland to even more rural Australia in a story featuring thieving, scrapping and an incredibly poor acting performance from Mick Jagger. Plus, we introduce our new all-time favourite character: arise Ah Fuk. Want to suggest an e...
William Brown and The Undateables: how an Irishman founded Argentina
March 22, 2022 05:00 - 33 minutes - 46.5 MBAhoy! Shane and Hazel are back on the high seas this week for one of our most extraordinary tales yet. In the early 19th century, an expat from Foxford put together a wee navy in Buenos Aires. In doing so, he would change the course of South American history forever. Guillermo Brown was born. ¡Bueno! Are you an Irish expat in Argentina? Drop an email to [email protected]! You can also message us your favourite trivia or anything you want to add to previous episodes! ***Please take ...
A Global History of St Patrick’s Day
March 15, 2022 05:00 - 33 minutes - 46.2 MBWe’re jetting all over the place on today’s episode! From Chicago to Dublin, Montserrat to New York’s East Side, Hazel tells Shane all about the history of Paddy’s Day celebrations and relive some of their own. Plus, some heartwarming advice for Lent and a listener shares a strange annual tradition… Let us know how you celebrated St Patrick’s Day at [email protected]! You can also email us with stories you’d like us to cover, your favourite trivia, or anything you want to add to prev...
Cú Chulainn and history’s first cockblock
March 08, 2022 05:00 - 35 minutes - 48.2 MBShane and Hazel return to the studio for a whopper: it’s the story of Shane’s fellow beardless Ulsterman, Cu Chulainn! You know him as one of the most celebrated figures in Irish folklore – we know him as a failed contestant on Take Me Out. Plus, we wonder how many snooker tables there are in prison and come across a shocking new twist in our hunt for bear bones. Tell us where you’re tuning in from at [email protected]! You can also email us with stories you’d like us to cover, your ...
Wilde times
March 01, 2022 05:00 - 36 minutes - 49.7 MBNovelist Hazel Hayes takes pamphlet fan Shane Todd through the chaotic life and times of one of Ireland's most celebrated writers: Oscar Wilde. Plus, Shane makes his feelings known about poetry and an archaeologist gets in touch. EMAILS: we're recording a St Patrick's Day special, so send us your favourite Paddy's Day stories to [email protected]! Find us on socials @thehazelhayes or @shanetodd and @shanetoddcomedy. ***Please take the time to rate and review us on Apple Podcasts or w...
The Irish King you’re probably related to
February 22, 2022 05:00 - 38 minutes - 52.2 MBIn fifth century Ireland, reality television reached its peak. Shane 'The Most Famous' Todd walks Hazel 'Neighbour to Damien Dempsey' Hayes through the story of Niall of the Nine Hostages, who took over Ireland and invaded Europe after clinching an incredibly intense edition of "Ireland’s Next Top High King". Oh, and Niall also has the most descendants in the modern world behind Genghis Khan. Strap in! Tell us where you’re tuning in from at [email protected]! You can also email us ...
The not so sexy origins of Valentine’s Day
February 15, 2022 05:00 - 35 minutes - 49.1 MBSick of all that lovey-dovey Valentine’s Day smush? Fear not, Hazel and Shane are here with a friendly reminder that February 14 is actually the anniversary of some bloke getting beheaded! Hazel tells Shane about the life of St Valentine, who may or may not have made some banging mixtapes, and how he came to settle in an unlikely city of love: Dublin. Plus, a stunning rendition of Peter Andre – listen to the end... Send us love letters to [email protected]! You can also email us with...
Prehistoric Ireland and the Toddballs vs the Hazelnuts
February 08, 2022 05:00 - 29 minutes - 41 MBToday, we’re throwing it all the way back to prehistoric Ireland and Shane has some seismic revelations in store for Hazel. What were the first humans on Ireland like? What did they get up to? And what exactly can the pod offer in exchange for some ancient bear bones? Send us bear bones to [email protected]! You can also email us with stories you’d like us to cover, your favourite trivia, or anything you want to add to previous episodes! ***Please take the time to rate and review us ...
Bram Stoker and a blood-sucking supernatural dwarf
February 01, 2022 05:00 - 26 minutes - 36.6 MBDarlings! This week, Hazel tells Shane all about Bram Stoker: thespy-type, writer, part-time slacker and the creator of Dracula no less! Born in Clontarf, we find out why his mother’s terrible choice of bedtime stories and some of Ireland’s weirdest folk tales inspired one of the most famous novels of all time. Plus, Shane learns about blood-letting, Hazel picks up a new phrase, and Gary Oldman angrily orders a Nando’s dressed as a vampire. Get a load of brand new shiny inbox: hello@nothis...
When pirates stole an Irish village!
January 25, 2022 05:00 - 32 minutes - 44.4 MBShane tells the extraordinary story of Baltimore, a sleepy village in County Cork which in 1631 was whisked away by pirates in the dead of night. Everyone was taken apart from two villagers. Hazel and Shane ask the important questions: how many people were sleeping without any pyjamas on that night? Why did anyone bother to live near the coast back in the day? And just how annoying must those two people have been for the pirates to let them go? Get a load of brand new shiny inbox: hello@no...
The origins of Leprechauns, feat. elf orgies
January 18, 2022 05:00 - 31 minutes - 43.7 MBThis week, Shane and Hazel are broadcasting remote to bring you the episode we’ve all been waiting for: it’s the history of the leprechaun! They reflect on of their (weird) depictions in pop culture, Shane reveals one very odd wish he would ask for if he caught one of the pesky troublemakers, and there’s discussion about some recent sightings which probably don’t hold a lot of water but almost certainly do hold a lot of beer. Get a load of brand new shiny inbox: [email protected]! E...
When Vikings ruled Dublin
January 11, 2022 05:00 - 28 minutes - 38.8 MBRemember those pesky, sexy Vikings who took down Brian Boru? They're back on the pod and they're pillaging more monasteries than ever before. Hazel explains why for Ireland the Vikings were like that mate that constantly crashes on your sofa, clarifies that they did not build a 10th century Aldi, and reintroduces us to alpha Soup Dragon Sigtrygg Silkbeard. Plus, Shane reveals the gruesome story behind one of English's most well-known catchphrases. Get a load of brand new shiny inbox: hello...
The Titanic
January 04, 2022 05:00 - 30 minutes - 42.3 MBShane tells the true story of Belfast's tragic export, the RMS Titanic. Featuring myth-busting, dodgy maths and *a lot* of soapy lube. Get a load of our brand new shiny inbox: [email protected]! Email us with stories you’d like us to cover, your favourite trivia, or anything you’d like to add to previous episodes! ***Please take the time to rate and review us on Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your pods. It means a great deal to the show and will make it easier for other potential...
Queen Maeve and a lethal piece of cheese
December 28, 2021 05:00 - 35 minutes - 48.2 MBMeet Queen Maeve: Irish folklore's most fearsome and bloodthirsty warrior, who waged war on Ulster just to get hold of a cow. And trust us, that's not even the strangest part of today's tale! Along the way, we discover what Shane looks for in a husband and there's a pact to join an ancient Irish folk festival. Get a load of our brand new shiny inbox: [email protected]! Email us with stories you’d like us to cover, your favourite trivia, or anything you'd like to add to past episodes!...
A proper Irish Christmas
December 21, 2021 05:00 - 31 minutes - 42.6 MBIt's the last school day before Christmas, so Hazel and Shane crack open the board games and go wild. They share their memories of Christmas at home and Shane reveals he is the anti-Santa. Plus, they reflect on one very Irish custom and a few of the Emerald Isle's festive connections: it turns out Santa is buried in County Kilkenny! Get a load of our brand new shiny inbox: [email protected]! Email us with stories you’d like us to cover, your favourite trivia, or even corrections to p...
The day Ireland’s aristocracy vanished
December 14, 2021 05:00 - 34 minutes - 47.7 MBWe explore one of the great mysteries of Irish history, which saw the cream of Irish Catholic society VANISH in a matter of hours. In 1607, the heat was on Ireland’s Catholic leaders, with rumours that the British were ready to dispose of them for their treachery. So, what did they do? Stay and fight for their followers? Not exactly. Shane tells Hazel about a story full of conspiracy, backstabbing and… porn? Get a load of our brand new shiny inbox: [email protected]! Email us with...
The History of Guinness
December 07, 2021 05:00 - 32 minutes - 44.2 MBGuinness might not actually be Irish. And we don't want to alarm anyone, but the Irish don't even drink most of it. Today, Hazel shares the story of Arthur Guinness and busts a few myths about the malty beverage. Plus, we discover Shane's love for Hen Party cocktails and there's an alarming revelation about Hazel's family history. Find us on social media @thehazelhayes and @shanetodd or @shanetoddcomedy! Drop us an email into our shiny new inbox: [email protected]! ***Please take th...
Anne Bonny: the Irish pirate who ruled the Caribbean
November 30, 2021 05:00 - 26 minutes - 36.6 MBAnne Bonny isn’t your typical 18th century Cork girl. Born out of wedlock, she pursued a life of sex, arson – a lot of arson – and ruthless pillaging that briefly made her one of the most infamous pirates in the Caribbean, all while she was dressed as a man. Today, Shane reveals her origin story. Things are about to get VERY sexy. Find us on social media @thehazelhayes and @shanetodd or @shanetoddcomedy! ***Please take the time to rate and review us on Apple Podcasts or wherever you get y...
Dermot MacMurrough: the Irishman who invaded Ireland
November 23, 2021 05:00 - 33 minutes - 46.1 MBRewind 852 years and you’ll find no English in Ireland, not even a single Wetherspoons. But then along came a deposed Irish king called Dermot who wanted his land back and it all went pear-shaped. Hazel tells Shane how English rule in Ireland all began – from Strongbow and badass Aoife, to the King of Gossip – and we wonder what would have happened to the Emerald Isle if things had played out differently. Find us on social media @thehazelhayes and @shanetodd or @shanetoddcomedy. Or just vi...
Dermot MacMurrough: The Irishman who invaded Ireland
November 23, 2021 05:00 - 33 minutes - 46.1 MBRewind 852 years and you’ll find no English in Ireland, not even a single Wetherspoons. But then along came a deposed Irish king called Dermot who wanted his land back and it all went pear-shaped. Hazel tells Shane how English rule in Ireland all began – from Strongbow and badass Aoife, to the King of Gossip – and we wonder what would have happened to the Emerald Isle if things had played out differently. Find us on social media @thehazelhayes and @shanetodd or @shanetoddcomedy. Or just vi...
A love letter to Rathlin Island
November 16, 2021 05:00 - 33 minutes - 45.4 MBToday, Shane whisks Hazel away to his second favourite island in the world. They discuss their treasured holiday spots across the Emerald Isle before diving into the storied past of Northern Ireland’s finest hidden gem: Rathlin Island. Featuring Robert the Bruce, the ghost of Richard Branson and an incredibly unsatisfactory puffin tour, there’s fun for all the family on Rathlin. Some monks do get slaughtered though, obviously. Find us on social media @thehazelhayes and @shanetodd or @sha...
Typhoid Mary
November 09, 2021 05:00 - 30 minutes - 41.8 MBHazel takes Shane on our first trip across the pond! We’re learning about one of Northern Ireland’s most… impactful exports. This is the story of Mary Mallon: cook, part-time nightclub bouncer, and the infamous patient zero of New York’s typhoid epidemic. When in the Big Apple, eh? Plus, Shane brings out some startling revelations about his own hygiene. Find us on social media @thehazelhayes and @shanetodd or @shanetoddcomedy. Just ask the Salmon of Knowledge if you're unsure. ***Please...
Finn McCool vs Diego Maradona
November 02, 2021 05:00 - 28 minutes - 39.2 MBShane teaches Hazel all about the legendary Irish giant Finn McCool and the key role he played in "building" The Giant’s Causeway, due to his rivalry with the Scottish giant, Benandonner. Not to be confused with a certain Argentinian footballer, unbeknownst to a certain someone. We’re releasing new shows every Tuesday! Keep your eyes peeled, your ears pinned back, and your Guinesses chilled and subscribe now so that you never miss an episode. ***Please take the time to rate and review us o...
The Kim Kardashian of County Mayo
October 26, 2021 04:00 - 34 minutes - 46.8 MBThis week, Hazel is behind the lectern to tell Shane all about Grace O’Malley, the woman from the west coast of Ireland who became a fearsome ruler of the high seas in the 1500s and a dab hand at divorce settlements. We’re releasing new shows every Tuesday! Keep your eyes peeled, your ears pinned back, and your Guinesses chilled and subscribe now so that you never miss an episode. ***Please take the time to rate and review us on Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your pods. It means a gre...
The Last High King of Ireland, Brian
October 19, 2021 04:00 - 27 minutes - 37.7 MBWelcome back to We’re Not F***ing Historians, your alternative guide to Irish history! This week, Brian Boru and his stag do roll into town. Brian was one of Ireland’s most successful and unifying monarchs. But it didn’t end well. Shane and Hazel talk about Brian's pub crawl of death, Bono's performance at his coronation, and how he saved Ireland from Carlsberg. We’ll be releasing new shows every Tuesday! Keep your eyes peeled, your ears pinned back, and your Guinesses chilled and subscrib...
The Real St Patrick
October 12, 2021 04:00 - 32 minutes - 45 MBWelcome to the first episode of We’re Not F***ing Historians, your alternative guide to Irish history! Today, Hazel Hayes and Shane Todd find out about the Emerald Isle’s greatest export. Every March, people drink bars dry all over the world to mark St Patrick’s day. But what was the bloke actually like? Expect loads of myth-busters, a very horny gap year and Liam Neeson’s greatest performance of all. We’ll be releasing new shows every Tuesday! Keep your eyes peeled, your ears pinned back...
The Real St Patrick
October 12, 2021 04:00 - 32 minutes - 45 MBWelcome to the first episode of We’re Not F***ing Historians, your alternative guide to Irish history! Today, Hazel Hayes and Shane Todd find out about the Emerald Isle’s greatest export. Every March, people drink bars dry all over the world to mark St Patrick’s day. But what was the bloke actually like? Expect loads of myth-busters, a very horny gap year and Liam Neeson’s greatest performance of all. We’ll be releasing new shows every Tuesday! Keep your eyes peeled, your ears pinned back...
Welcome to We're Not F***ing Historians!
October 05, 2021 04:00 - 2 minutes - 5.49 MBThank you for listening to the We're Not F***ing Historians trailer. Look out for our first episode on Tuesday 12th October, which features the OG of Irish history, St Patrick! Turns out everything we know about him was a lie. Subscribe now! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.