We're No Experts
84 episodes - English - Latest episode: over 1 year ago - ★★★★ - 6 ratingsA podcast featuring Jim Martin and Jonathan Hamilton on an uninformed search for truth.
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Episodes
Episode 93 - The We're-No-Experssance
March 02, 2023 23:19Wait...this can't be right--a signal? On this old channel? "Welcome back..."--could it be the return of We're No Experts?! There's only one way to find out, loyal subscriber!
Rerun - Episode 11 - Strictly for My Neighbors
December 10, 2021 02:45What's it take to get you out of the house? We discuss a bunch of local stuff, and Jonathan coughs incessantly.
Rerun - Episode 9 - Sometimes You Want to Live Where Everybody Knows Your Name
November 26, 2021 00:21What TV show would you most like to live in? Partially inspired by the neverending Cheers rewatch.
Rerun - Episode 8 - We're Norm Experts
November 11, 2021 23:25Talked quite a bit about norms in this one, with particular emphasis on bathroom norms. The secret origin of the Bathroom Break.
Rerun - Episode 7 - Be All That You Can Let Yourself Be
October 28, 2021 23:23Regarding lying to kids: What are the ethics of just letting your kids win? Is it ever really wrong to grind your kids to dust for daring to step to their parents?
Rerun - Episode 6 - Planes, Trains, and...Submarines?
October 14, 2021 22:18Bask in the glory of our first truly inane prompt: Would you rather spend the rest of your life on a plane that can't land or a submarine that can't surface?
Rerun - Episode 5 - Which Came First: The Rabbit or the Egg?
September 30, 2021 21:28A very timely repeat of an Easter classic, in which we try to figure out why rabbits and eggs are associated with Easter without just looking it up.
Rerun - Episode 4 - The Five Million Dollar Question
September 16, 2021 20:53You find five million bucks. Is it a good thing or a huge hassle? What are you gonna do with it?
Rerun - Episode 3 - I Ain't Afraid of No Aliens...or Am I?
September 02, 2021 20:45The warm embrace of hiatus surrounds us still. If aliens invited you to come sail away, would you take them up on the offer?
Rerun - Episode 2 - Passing in the Past
August 19, 2021 23:06Hiatus continues! How far back could you travel in the past and pass as a native of that time?
Rerun - Episode 1 - Dog Thoughts
August 05, 2021 22:52While we're on hiatus, it's a perfect time for you to revisit our first episode! We discuss dog thoughts, self checkouts, the idiom "a dog's age," and more!
Episode 92 - We're on Hiatus
July 22, 2021 23:12We are taking a well deserved break for the summer. Please submit topics to [email protected]! And enjoy this final episode in which we talk about lazy teachers and the dumbest uses we'd make of time travel.
Episode 91 - More Machine Than Experts
July 08, 2021 23:29What makes a cyborg? At what point do you cease being "a person with a metal arm" and an honest-to-goodness cybernetic organism? Also: a question of etiquette.
Episode 90 - The Last Pod on Earth
June 24, 2021 22:29Flipping the script a bit, what would you do if you were the last person on Earth? How would you fill your days? How would you guarantee your survival? What buildings would you burn down?
Episode 89 - Button Men
June 10, 2021 23:12Jim suggests there are advantages to aging in reverse like The Curious Case of Benjamin Button. Jonathan ain't so sure. Also a Bathroom Break follow-up and, like, a lot of unexpected dentist talk at the end.
Episode 88 - A Couple of Cold Ones
May 27, 2021 22:47If you could be cryogenically frozen and thawed out hundreds of years from now, would you do it? What would it take to change your mind? What if we told you that you might end up a RoboCop?
Episode 87 - Fallout Boys
May 13, 2021 21:37Disaster preppers and survivalists are nutjobs, right? There's nothing to that. We shouldn't bother prepping for nuclear armageddon or anything, should we? Let's figure it out.
Episode 86 - Tom and Tommer
April 29, 2021 23:02If you swapped Tom Cruise and Tom Hanks in their respective movies, who'd come out on top?
Episode 85 - Time Travail
April 15, 2021 22:42Jonathan has anxiety about time travel, real ontological shit, and he'll tell you all about it after he's done complaining about his audio book purchase.
Episode 85 - Decline the Power
April 01, 2021 22:29Are there any superpowers you'd outright turn down if offered? There are drawbacks you might want to consider. Good, practical advice for real problems is what we're all about.
Episode 84 - Decline the Power
April 01, 2021 22:29Are there any superpowers you'd outright turn down if offered? There are drawbacks you might want to consider. Good, practical advice for real problems is what we're all about.
Episode 83 - Other People's Pets
March 18, 2021 22:45You down with O.P.P.? Other people's pets? Of course you pet every dog, but there certainly must be lines you don't cross with other people's pets, right? Also: Jonathan slags Bodum.
Episode 82 - Shifty Characters
March 05, 2021 00:18Would it be better to shapeshift into one specific person for as long as you want or shapeshift into anyone for just one hour? Don't miss the surprise return of a classic segment!
Episode 81 - No Contest
February 18, 2021 23:35If you could run a contest, what would the prize be? What kind of contestants would you want, and how would they compete? We also cover a few norms: helping yourself to a drink and double-dipping.
Episode 80 - We're No Groundhogs, Part II
February 04, 2021 23:47Haven't we done this before? No! Following up on Part I, we investigate what we might do differently should the genie's curse give us advance notice of the time loop. Hear Jim praise Jonathan's genius idea.
Episode 79 - Junk Drawer
January 21, 2021 23:16Jim has a few rapid-fire topics, including: washing new clothes, the battle of the sitcom dads, beef with store layouts.
Episode 78 - Were No Experts
January 08, 2021 00:12Is there ever a right time for correcting someone? We've all probably corrected someone's spelling or told them they were misremembering a story. When is that okay, and when are you being a dick?
Episode 77 - Clausian Morality
December 24, 2020 15:12Santa's list of who's naughty and who's nice fails completely to provide a clear moral framework for children's behavior. We are going to fix that.
Episode 76 - We're Probably Not Experts
December 10, 2020 22:56Have you ever overestimated your own competence? You ever told someone they were bad at something? What's with our impulse to soften criticism? Also, Jim's got a norm and a question about broadcasting "fuck" on TV. Something for everyone!
Episode 75 - Talking Everything But Turkey
November 26, 2020 17:18The time has come to settle Best vs. Favorite: Thanksgiving Sides! Generally just a whole episode about gabbing about food. Hot meals or hot showers? Only cake or only pie? Don't listen on an empty stomach.
Episode 74 - Nobody Moves, Nobody Experts
November 12, 2020 22:39If you had to rob a bank, could you do it? How would you go about it? What's stopping you? Dark stuff!
Episode 73 - We're No Graveyard Smash
October 30, 2020 21:44Halloween 2020 is upon us! If you had to be one of the classic Halloween monsters, which would it be? Is the move to go vampire? Werewolf? Juke into being an alien? Let's figure it out since we can't go to a Halloween party.
Episode 72 - Bucket List Beef
October 15, 2020 21:26Bucket lists as a concept don't make much sense to us, so we attempt to unpack the idea and figure out what the point is with frequent digressions into: trading cards, going to outer space, and top dollar vs. bottom dollar.
Episode 71 - Tico Conestoga
October 01, 2020 21:50Don't be fooled by the excellent episode title. This time around, we address a dense listener email! It's the email that's dense, not the listener. Includes follow-ups on littering and tough decisions about everyone's favorite topic: time travel.
Episode 70 - One Bad Episode Spoils the Podcast
September 17, 2020 21:46Spoiler alert: We are talking about the morality of spoiling stories and what price (if any) you should pay for it. We necessarily spoil several stories in the process. You've been warned.
Episode 69 - Keano Experts
September 03, 2020 21:46If you ever get the chance to zap a new skill into your brain, what's the right move? Do you go straight for the kung fu and gunplay, or do you become the most dominant Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon player in history? We get there after about 20 minutes of digression centered around the filmography of Keanu Reeves.
Episode 68 - Suspicious Minds
August 20, 2020 21:49Urban legends and conspiracy theories spread quickly and stay around a long time. Why is that, and is there any truth to them? Also: assigned seating norms, driving in the left lane, and other tangents.
Episode 67 - Litter-ally a Garbage Topic
August 06, 2020 21:42Why the hell do people litter? What's in it for them? What distinguishes litter from something you wouldn't care about throwing on the ground? We try to get to the bottom of that. Plus, we think it's time we had a little talk about the birds and the bees.
Episode 66 - Dream On
July 23, 2020 21:40Why the heck do people even dream? There must be a function or reason for it. We puzzle through it and tackle some idioms.
Episode 65 - Animal for a Day, No Expert for a Lifetime
July 09, 2020 21:35If you had to be an animal for a day, what's the right choice? You don't want to mess up and be, like, an armadillo or something and wind up roadkill. You also don't want to go the draft horse route and wind up doing a bunch of work. Let's figure this thing out.
Episode 64 - We're No Groundhogs, Part I
June 25, 2020 22:22A listener suggestion brings us the topic of: How would you spend a Groundhog Day-esque loop? There's a lot of fruit on the vine here, so expect us to return to this cheap and easy well of material.
Episode 63 - Best vs. Favorite: Stallone Movies
June 11, 2020 21:40Stop or My Mom Will Shoot, Over the Top--classics of cinema. But which film scores the knockout win in the ring of BEST VS. FAVORITE when it comes to Sylvester Stallone movies?
Episode 62 - You Spin Me Right Off, Baby, Right Off
May 28, 2020 22:11What are your dream TV show spin-offs? We list several of our top picks and actually manage to stay on topic for almost the entire episode--a series first! Don't get used to it.
Episode 61 - Here Come the Gestures, 1-2-3
May 14, 2020 22:02You ever thought about where different gestures come from and how they came to mean what they mean? We have, but we didn't bother researching or anything. Check it out!
Episode 60 - Menace to Society
April 30, 2020 21:50Listener Ryan asked, "How would you organize society if given the chance?" Folks, don't ask questions you don't want the answers to, by which I mean questions we don't know the answers to.
Episode 59 - Friendship by the Numbers
April 16, 2020 21:48How much work should you put into maintaining a low-level friendship? What does "low-level" mean in the case of a friend, anyway? Can you assign hard numbers to this stuff?
Episode 58 - Better the Double You Know
April 02, 2020 22:02What would you do if you met someone who could be your twin? Would you be the first to engage? Would you call your parents liars? Maybe take the safest route and instantly attack them? All this and watch talk since we have so much...time on our hands!
Episode 57 - Ernest Goes to Camp, But Not Us
March 19, 2020 21:23Neither of us understands the appeal of camping. Why do people put themselves through it? We try to sort that one out with a lengthy sidebar about jalapeño poppers, then we talk at length about bidets. Something for everyone!
Episode 56 - Sasq-Watch
March 05, 2020 23:05Are you prepared to encounter Bigfoot? It's guaranteed to be a life-changing experience, right? But what does that mean for you, and how would you handle it?
Episode 55 - I Could've Had a V8!
February 25, 2020 23:09How do cars work? Don't bother DDGing it—just listen as we two ignoramuses try to enlighten you. By the end of this episode, you will be a true gearhead. Or maybe you won't. Probably you won't, but we go out on some hat etiquette, which Jim says is the best part.