Witness Wednesday #113 More PopWe (God Stories)

Today’s witnesses are from Matthew West’s website called popwe.org. If you don’t know who Matthew West is, he is a singer, songwriter, and storyteller. This website is for the non-profit that he has with his father, a pastor. Matthew and his father encourage people to share their stories. They have various categories of stories. Today I chose two testimonies from the God Stories Category. The first story is of a woman who is in chronic pain and yet tends to say she is fine because that is just what we all seem to do. Her testimony is about how Matthew’s song “Truth Be Told” really spoke to her. The second one is about a woman who learned of a website that tries to help kids who live overseas and have severe medical problems get adopted. I pray when you hear these testimonies, you can see not only how God has helped them in their life but how He could help you in yours and in your loved ones’ lives, too. I pray you see the miracles in their lives and know miracles are possible in your situation too!!

Diane: I wanted to share this story with Matthew that I wrote during a particularly difficult time with my health. It’s about how his song “Truth Be Told” spoke to me.

“Lie number one you’re supposed to have it all together.  And when they ask how you’re doing Just smile and tell them, “Never better.” Lie number two everybody’s life is perfect except yours.  So keep your messes and your wounds and your secrets safe with you behind closed doors.” – From the song “Truth Be Told”

I was zooming with a college friend yesterday and when she asked how I was doing, I almost fell into my cookie cutter response, “Oh, I’m fine.” Usually when I say I am fine, I’m actually not. Yesterday, the truth came tumbling out. I had a very serious nerve pain issue on Friday and couldn’t stand without my husband lifting me out of bed under ten level pain. I would have gone to the emergency room if I physically could have. My lovely, caring, listening friend heard it all. Her sincere responses made me know she was truly interested in my situation and that I didn’t need to put on my happy face with her. I do tend to pretend all is well, especially if someone asks. Who wants to hear all my woes? Generally speaking, I think it’s a healthy practice not to tell everyone how you really are.

Those of us who suffer with chronic pain are never fine. And there’s not a lot of positive things that can come from dwelling on it. But there’s a fine line between being positive and stuffing your “I am not fine” feelings. I know “stuffing” to be lethal. The lightbulb moment came when she said, “You know saying we’re okay all the time is really a bunch of garbage.” I felt an immense sense of freedom hearing that. Like it was okay to shout, “I am really not okay right now!” When did I get to the place where I accepted the lie in Matthew West’s song that “I’m supposed to have it all together?” Or how about the rest of the telling lyrics……

“I say I’m fine, yeah I’m fine oh I’m fine, hey I’m fine but I’m not I’m broken. And when it’s out of control I say it’s under control but it’s not, and you know it. I don’t know why it’s so hard to admit it When being honest is the only way to fix it.”

Today, I’m getting honest. I am not fine. It’s all out of control. Sometimes things are just awfully bad. I for one am tired of holding it all together. And who says we have to? Sometimes, good things happen when we get real. Other people hear our struggles and don’t feel like they are alone in their pain. I’ve often given thanks for the courageous authors who have written books and songs about their pain and sufferings that have helped me feel less like I’m on an island of one.

I’ve considered it might be a bit prideful for me to suffer in silence, thinking I couldn’t possibly help someone else by opening up. I remember the day I first heard Matthew’s song. I was driving home from physical therapy and heard it on the Christian radio channel, The Message on Sirius radio. When a song truly speaks to you, it moves you to tears. That’s what happened to me. Did you ever feel like someone wrote the exact words that were in your heart? It’s a “stand still, block everything out” kind of moment. What if he never sang it? What if I never heard it? It would have been a loss I would have never known I’d missed. I’ve loved the song for a long time. Last night, when I was getting ready for bed, the refrain played in my head, strolling around my mind like an old companion paying a visit. I’m just so happy my friend’s words helped remind me of it when I needed it most.

“Truth be told, the truth is rarely told.” This may be my favorite line in the song. There can be great healing in the sharing of our truths if we are brave enough and strong enough to peel back the curtain and do it. I hope I’m one of the brave ones.

When my son, Ari, was 4, I came across this blog while staying up late at night searching for anything to help him, who was severely developmentally delayed. It was a family asking for prayer for their young daughter Chrissie who was facing open heart surgery. I began to pray for Chrissie and got connected to the family. Chrissie died. I was so heartbroken for them that I dug deep into their story and learned they had adopted her. I was in awe of this family with many children who went across the world at great expense to adopt a child with a very small chance of living. This family humbled me with their blind faith and commitment to living a radical Christian life. They shared a link to the place they found Chrissie.

I would look at the faces on that page for hours, crying and praying. I did this for months and then a new face appeared one day. A small brown boy with a scared face and a post that read “urgent, at risk of transfer.” I learned some awful truths that year; that orphaned children in Eastern Europe with Down Syndrome usually die before they turn six due to abuse, starvation, and neglect. It was something that had kept me up at night since my eyes were opened. I saw that little boy’s face and it haunted me. I felt in my heart that he had to be saved. As a single parent with a 4-year-old with significant special needs, as well as being a public school teacher at the time making less than $43,000 a year, I didn’t think there was anything I could do for this child. I prayed so hard, and I tried to find a wealthy Christian family to save him. No one came forward.

Months had passed and I knew that this child was soon to be “transferred” to the adult asylum in Russia where he was and that he would die soon after. The first photo I saw of him, his face was burned into my mind…and his name – Ian.

On July 4, 2010 I heard God call me. I knew it was me and Ari who were supposed to go and get Ian. I emailed the adoption agency and asked – can a single mother with little income adopt this boy with Down Syndrome in Russia? The answer was yes. It was also no. I was told time was out for Ian and that he would be transferred on his 5th birthday in April and there was not enough time to complete an international special needs adoption. There was also the issue of the nearly $65,000 it would take to save him. I did not have that; it was more than I made in a year and Ari’s expenses were great.

During this time, Matthew West’s song “The Motions” was being played on the radio. As I would be doing the dishes at night and scraping food we did not eat into the disposal, I would hear the words, “this might hurt, it’s not safe, but I know I’ve gotta make a change…and…I don’t wanna go through the motions, I don’t wanna go one more day, without your all-consuming passion inside of me.”

This song was like God speaking through Matthew directly to me, giving me the courage and will to do this hard thing. It wasn’t hard to want to save a life, but hard to fight the fears of all of the many things involved in trying to adopt this little boy. There were so many times listening to “The Motions” kept me on track over the 13 months it took to get Ian home. I didn’t have the money and my faith was so small at the beginning of what God had called me to. Our fight to save Ian was truly a fight to not live in that nothingness Matthew wrote about.

God brought every single penny of the nearly $65,000 it took to save Ian’s life and make him a part of our little family. 700 people donated to his adoption fund. Ari made the first trip to Russia for the first time we met Ian. People did extraordinary things to make sure Ian would not be transferred before we could get to him. I remember like it was yesterday, on my knees praying to God to help Ari and save Ian and I was so tired and worn. I would cry “The Motions”out onto the carpet at night while Ari slept, begging God to take us to the finish line of bringing Ian home. He did just that, and without one day to spare.

Ian arrived on US soil on August 26, 2011. From there, we went straight to the emergency room for malnourishment and a heart defect. He had open heart surgery on Thanksgiving Day 2016. He underwent two other surgeries to repair his eyes and internal organs. Ian could not speak the day I walked him out of the orphanage in Russia. He only made grunting sounds. Now, he speaks. He could not chew solid food at age 5.5 because he was bottle-fed till then. Now, he loves all foods, especially spicy things! He is the face of humanity and I see God each time I look at him, and very often too, “The Motions” will play in my mind as a clear reminder of how God changed me through a child and a song.

Thank you both for sharing your stories with us. Thank you to Matthew West and His father for providing a platform for people to share their stories so that God can get all the Glory.  Hearing other peoples’ stories helps us to know that we are not alone and that everyone else is not living a perfect life while ours falls down all around us. Seeing the miracles in their lives helps us know that miracles are possible in our lives as well. 

www.findingtruenorthcoaching.com

CLICK HERE TO DONATE

CLICK HERE to sign up for Mentoring 

CLICK HERE to sign up for Daily "Word from the Lord" emails

CLICK HERE to sign up for free audio training about inviting Jesus into your daily life

CLICK HERE to buy my book Total Trust in God's Safe Embrace