Witness Wednesday #107 More PopWe (Depression & Anxiety)

Witness Wednesday #107 More PopWe (Depression & Anxiety)

Today’s witnesses are from Matthew West’s website called popwe.org. If you don’t know who Matthew West is, he is a singer, songwriter, and storyteller. This website is for the non-profit that he has with his father, a pastor. Matthew and his father encourage people to share their stories. They have various categories of stories. Today I chose four testimonies from the Depression and Anxiety Category. I know so many people who are struggling with this right now. Oftentimes, we can hear our own story in someone else’s story. When we hear others tell their story it helps us to see we are not alone. We are not the only ones who have struggled with depression and anxiety. We aren’t the only ones who struggle with wanting to be alive. Other people feel as we do and when they are willing to talk about it, we feel less alone. I pray when you hear these testimonies, you can see not only how God has helped them in their life but how He could help you in yours and in your loved ones’ lives, too. 

Blair: My story begins in a very bad place, full of shame, regret, and sadness. I had a very overbearing mother who made my life miserable. There were many days of “walking on eggshells.” As I grew into a teenager, I started really feeling very low self-worth and self-esteem. I felt ugly. I was bullied and I felt like I had nowhere to turn. My family went to church but only to be seen. There was no Bible visible in my house and God and Jesus were not talked about. As my life progressed through college, getting married, and having kids, my faith remained surface level and weak. I developed depression and anxiety that I have battled with for 24 years! It’s taken many therapy appointments and appointments with the psychiatrist. It hurts me to say, but I spent several times in the hospital and had two suicide attempts before they finally got my medication right. My 4 children, all boys, were met with the most tragic event in all our lives. My husband and their father passed away suddenly in the ICU on December 24th, 2015. My boys were 17, 15, 11, and 9. Prior to his death, as well as after, I attended a contemporary service at a local church. The music was inspirational. I began listening to my local Christian music radio station. I began going to Bible Study. I felt like a sponge because I wanted to learn about Jesus and His life-giving strength, hope, and comfort. Along with doctors and medication, Jesus brought me out of the hole I was in and He led me to the Lord. If my life was going to end up like it has and I knew that it would, I wouldn’t change a thing, because it was that long and arduous valley that brought me to the mountain top with God. I still have days of sadness and grief, but with God’s unconditional love, grace, and mercy, I now know that every day my God empowers me to keep going step by step and minute by minute. I’m still on my faith journey as we all are, but through friends, my church, my pastor and the list could go on and on, I am stronger than anything that Satan tries to throw at me. The battle is the Lord’s and I am so happy that I let him into my broken world. All the trials led me to the Lord and He broke the chains of depression and anxiety, giving me hope for a brighter future and the knowledge that I am not alone. “There is another in the fire” with me and He will never, ever leave my side.

Kaitlyn My name is Kaitlyn, I am from the Houston area and I finally got to go to a concert for the first time Friday (March 17th, 2023). And of course, I went to a Matthew West concert! I have faced anxiety my whole life (all 18 years of it so far). In 2020 is when I finally realized I needed to get control of how to handle it. I was a freshman when covid hit, which can explain a little bit more about why I wanted to try and find coping mechanisms to help me.

I was on Spotify one day when Matthew West’s “Truth Be Told” started to play. Now at first, I was laughing because I was like, “wow, thank you for calling me out like that” but then I heard “Nobody” play and that is when I flat-out lost it. I couldn’t control the tears. I knew that I was struggling because when I had panic attacks at school, people just started to ignore me and made fun of me.

Because I couldn’t really explain what was happening, it got to the point of just not wanting to go anywhere, including church. I started to listen to more of Matthew’s songs when covid really shut things down because I ended up going through a lot of issues with my hip and it just felt like no one really heard me screaming in pain. I have always listened to Matthew West, he was one of the people that played on the radio when I was little, but I never really LISTENED to the words until I became a teen because I was little and liked to sing the songs back then. Now I like to hear the message inside the lyrics.

Jason: I wasn’t sure whether to put this under Broken Chapters or Anxiety/Depression but you now see which won. I spent 7 years in the army living through some unthinkable situations. Now don’t get me wrong- I loved the military and would gladly do it again. The truth is, the army broke me physically, mentally, and emotionally. Due to this, my body is broken due to the grueling training, my mental and emotional bodies broke after seeing the horrors of war. For years after and even still some today I have fought depression, anxiety, and anger issues. Since I met my wife, the issues have calmed substantially. Life seems bearable again. Don’t get me wrong- I still have issues but they are far less than what they were before. She brought me back to Jesus and that was the first step to recovery. Everyday is a new adventure now. I have been away from home for way too long now. Praise God Everyone. He is the Rock of Salvation.

Aidan:  A while ago, I lost the will to live. I was broken. Days felt like years, and I could hardly stand the pain. I kept going, but I didn’t know why. Every week or so I would see a glimpse of hope and God working in the mess but my soul was just broken.

One day, I couldn’t handle the pain anymore and I just broke down and asked God to help me, save me. I just said it over and over again: “Help, help, help. Help me, please.” Sure enough, He came through.
Later that day, like I normally do, I was wondering what would happen when we got to Walmart, wondering if my friend would be there and how he would get there, etc. I came to the conclusion that his sister would have brought him there. It was a strange thought so I put it out of my mind and told myself I was crazy. Just as I was about to break down crying in Walmart, there they were. My friend and his sister walking past. We didn’t talk, just said ‘hello’ to each other and walked on, but something in me had changed. No longer did I want to die. I just felt it in my bones to look to Jesus and I did. And while I’ve had moments of depression, pain, brokenness, and everything between since then, I haven’t gotten to that place again. That soul-wrenching place is no longer there. God came, and I know that for you He’ll do the same.

The road for healing is long, and I’d be lying if I said it was easy, but He has you in His hands. If He’s got you this far, He won’t let go now. Believe. Trust. And even if you can’t, that’s ok too. Remember: it doesn’t matter what you do, how you feel, or anything else. God’s taught me time and time again that you don’t have to be anything other than how you are at the moment for Him to work. He will. Love you all.

Thank you all so much for being vulnerable and sharing your stories. I pray you continue to turn to the Lord in your hard times and that He continues to keep you from the pit of despair. I pray you know how much He loves you and how proud He is of you. Thank you again for sharing!

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