Simple, Part 3: Marriage is Simple // Jamie Nunnally

Married? Want to be married some day? Wish you weren't married? In this message, Pastor Jamie Nunnally shares how marriage is "simple". 

Marriage is simple: love your spouse the way Christ loves you. 

Ephesians 5:31-23

Your marriage is only as good as your maturity. The quickest way to improve your marriage is to improve yourself, not to try to improve your spouse.

Two mindsets that hurt marriage - roommates and soulmates.

Roommates: when a couple is sharing life, but not sharing love. 

Soulmates: when a couple is forcing passion and imposing perfection. 

The 4 C's of Marriage

1. Commitment.

Commitment is being dedicated and devoted, even if things aren't the way you wish they were.

Matthew 19:3-6

Marriage is meant to be a constant commitment, a declaration of devotion and a pledge of partnership that lasts for life. 

2.    Communication.

Ephesians 4:29

Think of words like bricks: you can build a home or break a window – it depends on how you use them.

The Golden Rule of Communication: Say what you mean. Say it clearly and say it kindly. But always say what you mean.

Differences in the communication style of men and women:

1. Men tend to communicate for information, women communicate for connection.

2. Men tend want to solve problems efficiently, women want to solve problems together.

3. Men think in straight lines and store information in boxes, women think in webs and network stored information. 

In the end, your goal is not for your spouse to become like you, but for you to learn to love your spouse for who they are.

Communicate about your communication. 

3. Companionship. 

Ephesians 4:32 "Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you."

How to remain friends while married:

1. Remove the pressure of performance and perfection. 

2. Stop wounding each other with words. 

3. Become problem solvers, not argument winners. 

4. Remember to have fun together. 

4.  Christ's love.

Jesus defined love for us:

John 15:13

4 types of love – I'll give you the Greek word, a one-word English definition and a break up line for when this type of love is missing from a relationship.

Eros – infatuation. "I love you, I'm just not IN love with you"

Philia – friendship. "We just don't have anything in common"

Agape –sacrifice. "It's not you, its me"

Storge – family. "We've just grown apart"

Paul described agape for us:

1 Corinthians 13:4-7

You can only give what you've got, and God is how you get agape.

Questions:

Married: Are you protecting the marriage God has given you?

Not yet married: Are you preparing for the marriage God will give you?

Not interested in marriage: Are you promoting Godly marriages?