Kelly and Tom return at long last with a recap of Mr. Selfridge episodes 3 & 4 sure to delight and amaze even the most curmudgeonly Cousins! They cover the awfulness of Viking River Cruises and the PBS video player, the over/under on whether Lady May and Ellen Love are actually vampires, Fake Gyllenhaal’s dilettantism, Nude Day at Selfridge’s, dick-flavored chicken, getting married in pubs, Bohemian scammers, and why Piven doesn’t ever just yell “BLENKINSOP!” All this, plus Kelly cuts several lines of cocaine history, Tom almost eats a photograph, and it is decided that every woman should have a Leclair moment.

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