Kelly and Tom finally catch up to PBS with their recap of Mr. Selfridge S3E5, no thanks to Viking River Cruises! The Homely Architect drops a bombshell, New New Gordon outs himself as history’s worst kisser, Moustache’s soft hands are in jeopardy, Shame Baby’s origin story is finally revealed, and everyone gets Mardled. Tom’s a bit under the weather, Kelly waxes nostalgic about Reel Big Fish, and a dedicated Customer educates us about the Princess Wiz-Waz’s alleged heritage .ALL HAIL THE RETURN OF BEATRICE’S DEVIL CHILD PORTRAIT.

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