UNspoiled! The Dark Tower artwork

UNspoiled! The Dark Tower

116 episodes - English - Latest episode: over 5 years ago - ★★★★ - 70 ratings

Natasha and Miles cover The Dark Tower! Natasha has never read the series and Miles has read the first 5. Buckle up as we begin our journey, a few chapters at a time!

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Episodes

The Dark Tower Finale Wrap-Up

September 11, 2018 11:30 - 1 hour - 39.2 MB

First, check out our sponsor for this episode, the TRAPP Society's upcoming special project set in the world of the Dark Tower. It takes place between books six and seven, and aims to correct some of King's more egregious indulgences. The characters include a survivor of Jericho Hill, the High Wizard of Brooklyn, a shapeshifting badass from Dungeons and Dragons, and so much more. The show isn't available just yet, but head to the Shattered Worlds RPG podcast feed to hear the first hour of yo...

Wind Through The Keyhole- Skin Man (Part 2) & Epilogue

September 04, 2018 11:30 - 1 hour - 30.2 MB

Listeners, this is it! It's time for the very last chapter of coverage of The Dark Tower series, which will be followed up by one more episode of discussion before we wrap on this podcast feed altogether. It's truly the end of an era. The ending to this book was rather surprising, because I expected the Skin Man to be someone we had already met and instead it's someone that doesn't really mean anything to us. Of course, when he transforms in front of them we get to see King's writing shine, ...

Wind Through The Keyhole, Part 3- Wind Through The Keyhole, Part 2

August 28, 2018 11:30 - 1 hour - 39.6 MB

Hi there you beauties! Miles and I are here with the second-to-last episode of Wind Through The Keyhole, and I'm delighted to inform you that, despite some quibbles about the fact that the Red King has a cameo in this story, I really liked it. Tim Ross carries on past the small community of swamp people, sure that he will be returning this way and that he can repay the kindness they've shown him. They know differently because they're aware the Starkblast is coming, so it's actually kind of h...

Wind Through The Keyhole- Part 3, Wind Through The Keyhole- Part 1

August 21, 2018 11:30 - 1 hour - 36.8 MB

I love titling these fucking episodes. What an unholy disaster. So this episode was intended to cover the entire 'Wind Through The Keyhole' section, but it turns out that's way too much reading for one day, and also this episode is over an hour so it seems like Miles and I were not suffering for things to talk about even with just half the story. So I figure y'all can just forgive us. I'm always on board with weird fairytales and folk-tales, so this was right in my wheelhouse. Villages that...

Wind Through The Keyhole, Part 2- The Skin Man (Part 1)

August 14, 2018 11:30 - 1 hour - 37.3 MB

Hey there, constant readers! Miles and I continue our journey through the final novel of the series, and I find that nothing is what I expected. I mean, who knew we'd basically be fighting werewolves this time? The whole deal in this section was very out of left field, but I actually really enjoyed it. I'm very on-board with seeing some of the set-up in Roland's life for the man that we came to know in the main series, and I'm really excited that there's a mystery afoot. That's not to say tha...

Wind Through The Keyhole (Part 1)- Starkblast

August 07, 2018 11:30 - 1 hour - 30.3 MB

Hey listeners! Miles and I are getting into the final book (at least so far) in the series, which is apparently going to contain some peripheral information and stories from Roland's youth. What we get first, however, is the setup for what gives our crew the leisure to sit around and tell stories. We go back in time, to before they even reached the Calla, and meet a ferryman called Bix who can tell from watching Oy that the Starkblast is coming. Roland can't believe that he missed the signs...

The Dark Tower- Epilogue & Coda

July 31, 2018 11:30 - 1 hour - 50.4 MB

Well, folks. It's finally here. Miles reads the final chapter aloud to me, on the air. If you're a patron and would rather watch the LiveStream for the full effect, check it out here! https://www.crowdcast.io/patreon/join/-LIE0wOy9HdxZPO11XY4 Artist Credit: https://www.deviantart.com/dios-db/art/The-Dark-Tower-170336484

The Dark Tower, Part 5 - Chapter3

July 17, 2018 11:30 - 1 hour - 44.9 MB

How dare you.

The Dark Tower, Part 5- Chapter 2

July 10, 2018 11:30 - 59 minutes - 27.1 MB

Hey there, listeners. I'm not going to say too much here. There's nothing to be written that I didn't say during the episode. At least, nothing other than, "Fuck this fucking book."

The Dark Tower- Part 5, Chapter 1

July 03, 2018 14:49 - 1 hour - 33.4 MB

Hi there, listeners! I'm here with the next episode of Dark Tower, and I'm going to have to be honest here; I'm getting tired. It's really a shame, because I was so in love with this bizarre series at first. But we're reaching the end here, and I can't really help but feel some relief. This chapter is another example of a moment where Miles and I come up with an alternative that would have been much more satisfying, would have made more sense, and wouldn't have required yet another idiot sa...

The Dark Tower, Part 4- Chapters 5 & 6

June 26, 2018 11:30 - 1 hour - 38.3 MB

Hello, listeners! Now, before you go and listen to this episode and then DM or email me about the BLINDINGLY obvious thing that I missed, please allow me to reassure you that as I was editing, I realized. The robot's name is Stuttering Bill. Like Bill Denbrough from IT. I can't believe that I didn't catch that right away, but I finally managed it, so there we are. Close that messenger window. These chapters were super entertaining and in many ways, some of King's best attributes as a horro...

The Dark Tower, Part 4- Chapters 3 & 4

June 19, 2018 11:30 - 1 hour - 47.7 MB

This is one of the rarer episodes where Miles and I disagree a little more on the chapters than we usually do. While Miles is much less interested in the "Hides" chapter and feels like it's a stupid place to put a DIY tanning instructional manual, I'm a sucker for this kind of stuff and totally thought it was fascinating. Now, don't get me wrong; I think Miles is right. It's not a smart place to put this chapter, and the fact that the whole thing is included really makes me ask yet again, WHE...

The Dark Tower, Book 7- The Dark Tower, Part IV- Chapters 1 & 2

June 12, 2018 11:30 - 1 hour - 33.7 MB

Hey everyone! You wanna hear a really compelling argument between me and Miles about whether it's worse to be hot or cold? Eh, I'm just joshin ya, we only talk about that for like, 20 minutes, TOPS. No but in all seriousness, these two chapters were really good and I was so into them. Especially, as I'm sure comes as no surprise to anyone, the chapter entitled "The Thing Under The Castle" because ghatDAMN that whole chase scene was tense. My favorite thing is when you can't see the monster ...

The Dark Tower- Part 3, Chapters 3 & 4

June 05, 2018 11:30 - 1 hour - 43.5 MB

Guys. I'm not going to write much here. I think the episode pretty much speaks for itself. Tell me how you feel about it.

The Dark Tower, Part 3- Chapters 1 & 2

May 29, 2018 11:30 - 1 hour - 42.9 MB

Forgive me if I'm not super high energy this episode, but I'm just not really my usual chipper self since there was a really dramatic and unexpected death that came OUT OF FUCKING NOWHERE and kind of laid waste to my heart a little bit? The thing that kills me about this is how well all of it is written. This is how it's done. I wish that King was at his best in this manner throughout the series because when this man gets it right, goddamn does he get it right. The tension in these chapters...

The Dark Tower, Part 2- Chapter 12

May 22, 2018 11:30 - 1 hour - 46.5 MB

Hey everyone! So despite my doubts, I am going to attempt to operate under the assumption that Eddie Dean of New York is in fact dead. In that spirit, I chose some artwork this week that depicts him and Susannah when they were at their best, working together as a team. Just ignore the fact that Mordred isn't the only one with creepy, long-ass spider legs, apparently. This was a really good chapter. When I first started reading I was irritated and immediately texted Miles to spout off my fru...

The Dark Tower, Book 7- The Dark Tower, Part 2, Chapter 11

May 15, 2018 11:30 - 1 hour - 37.9 MB

Hey there everyone. I'm here with the next installment of The Dark Tower, and I'm going to warn you right now about my reaction to what I'm sure was supposed to be an emotionally affecting chapter: I am not here for this nonsense. I do not believe it's true. I think King is too much of a coward to really kill a main character this way, and the constant, unending foreshadowing just made me roll my eyes and believe in it even less. I really wish that I didn't feel this way. I honestly do, bec...

UNsober! Sample Episode- Being Sick

May 08, 2018 20:23 - 52 minutes - 24.2 MB

Surprise Bonus! I'm sharing the first episode of a Patrons-Only Series to give everyone a sense of what this newest project is going to be about. This show will be hosted by Natasha and RoShawn, with the occasional guest from other UNspoiled! hosts. I'm only putting the first episode as wide-release so that everyone can get a sense of it, but from Episode 2 onward they will be an exclusive perk to $20+ Patrons. Here's why I chose that high a tier: RoShawn and I will be splitting all the $20...

The Dark Tower, Book 7- The Dark Tower, Part 2- Chapters 9 & 10

May 08, 2018 11:30 - 1 hour - 32.1 MB

Miles and I are back with the table-setting chapters that come right before the big battle, and we get to talk to Sheemie more than we've ever gotten to before. It was so lovely to see Sheemie, and it's such a shame that he's in danger because of the teleportation. I don't like seeing any characters I love get sick, but there's something even meaner about it when it's the result of their superpower. Poor Sheemie, all he wants to do is help, but it's the helping that's killing him. It makes ...

The Dark Tower, Part 2- Chapter 8

May 01, 2018 11:30 - 1 hour - 44.4 MB

This week Miles and I are only talking about one chapter, but what a chapter it is! This is a long tale of Ted The Breaker (which is what I'm calling him now) and how he was recruited to work at Algul Siento. Ted has an ability that essentially makes him priceless to the Taheen and Cantoi and Humes, and so he's pretty much able to get away with murder (maybe literally) without them being able to do much of anything to reprimand him. Ted's story is really interesting because far from the usu...

The Dark Tower, Book 7- The Dark Tower- Part 2, Chapters 6 & 7

April 24, 2018 11:30 - 1 hour - 44.1 MB

Oh boy, everyone, I'm feeling really guilty about this episode. Miles and I just kind of tear into the book in this one, and the complaints and discussion start to eat their own tails. My apologies ahead of time if you were bored out of your skull, I think that both he and I were just so disappointed that we're belaboring our complaints because we're trying to convey the depth of our frustration. Now, the one thing in this section that didn't disappoint was getting to see inside the workpla...

The Dark Tower, Part 2- Chapters 3, 4, & 5

April 19, 2018 11:30 - 1 hour - 44.8 MB

Alright folks. Here's the deal. Stephen King done fucked up. There, I said it. You know it. I know it. Everyone knows it. Maybe someday in the not-so-distant future I will look back at this moment and this post and chide myself for not having more faith. But, children, today is not that day. Walter, The Man In Black, Flagg, whatever you want to call him, is dead. He died in a sad, pathetic way that was not worthy of him, to a foe who was also not worthy of him, and I'm extremely bummed ...

The Dark Tower: Part 1- Chapter 7, Part II- Chapter 1 & 2

April 10, 2018 11:30 - 1 hour - 37.6 MB

I'm not going to sugarcoat things: we shit on this book kind of a lot this episode. Look, we're not saying it's a bad book. We're not even saying that we aren't enjoying it, in our way. What we're saying is that King set a certain standard a couple books ago, and we're seeing a drop in overall focus and a strange preoccupation with language/worldbuilding that feels really out of place this late in the game. Miles and I are each able to cite more than one moment in this trio of chapters wh...

The Dark Tower- Chapters 4, 5, & 6

April 03, 2018 11:30 - 1 hour - 41.6 MB

Hey there you wonderful people! My apologies for being MIA for a few days, but my dear ole mum came to visit over Easter weekend and I just couldn't carve out the time to edit without woefully neglecting her. Please accept my deepest apologies for the delay, and accept my offering of an accidental extra chapter in this episode to make up for it. These three chapters are very eventful, and I'm shocked that King didn't have the previous book wrap up after the birth was completed because endin...

The Dark Tower, Book 7- The Dark Tower, Chapters 1, 2, & 3

March 27, 2018 11:30 - 1 hour - 43.5 MB

I'm delighted to finally be starting the last book in the series (not counting Wind Through The Keyhole which I don't consider an official volume as much as a supplementary one at this point), and I'm really hoping that we get some things resolved soon because I'm starting to get really impatient. I'm realizing that right now I'm having the same issue with several things I'm covering; plotlines are getting dragged out in ways that aren't interesting, and things that I'm really wanting to se...

The Dark Tower, Book 6- Song Of Susannah, Stanza 13

March 13, 2018 11:30 - 1 hour - 44.7 MB

This is the final chapter in Song Of Susannah, and I'm really feeling a little let down by it. This whole book is about Susannah and her pregnancy and the buildup towards the labor, and there's no real payoff at the end. We've been anxious to see her reunited with Jake and Callahan, and they're nowhere to be seen. It just ends in the middle of this huge moment, and then we're treated to a coda of Stephen King's journal entries. I dunno, guys. I am having a serious case of the love-hates wit...

Song Of Susannah- Stanza 12

March 06, 2018 12:30 - 1 hour - 33.5 MB

Hey there, Patrons! I can't believe we're almost at the end of the book already, it feels like this one really flew by. I'm hoping against hope that we get a kind of happy ending and that Susannah doesn't wind up getting completely taken over by Mia somehow. Cuz I don't like that concept one bit. This chapter we finally get to see what's been going on with Callahan and Jake. Thank goodness for The Touch, otherwise the two of them would be kinda screwed. It's really great to see them piecing...

Song Of Susannah- Stanza 11

February 27, 2018 12:30 - 1 hour - 35.6 MB

I'm excited to share this one, because it's the chapter where we meet The Writer. And yes, you probably noticed that picture I chose for this episode. Heh. I tried to find a picture of King that was supposed to have been taken around the time that this chapter takes place, and the whole vibe of this image was just too perfect to pass up. Look at his face! It's like he's saying, "Muahaha I'm in the book! Surprise! I'm comin to get ya!" I really expected to hate this chapter, and it complet...

Song Of Susannah- Stanza 10

February 20, 2018 12:00 - 1 hour - 37.2 MB

In which the intro may seem inexplicable, but please bear with us because we promise...it still doesn't make sense once we explain it.

Song Of Susannah- Chapter 9

February 13, 2018 12:00 - 1 hour - 41 MB

In which Calvin Tower seems like a whole lot more trouble than he's worth, and I'm about as done with him as Eddie is.

Song Of Susannah- Chapters 7 & 8

February 06, 2018 12:00 - 1 hour - 33.6 MB

In which Balazar's guys get the drop on Eddie and Roland, but John Cullum is here to help.

Song Of Susannah- Chapters 5 & 6

January 31, 2018 04:33 - 1 hour - 42.4 MB

In which we find out who the father of Susannah's baby is, and I am not impressed.

Song Of Susannah, Chapters 3 & 4

January 23, 2018 12:00 - 1 hour - 33.2 MB

Yay! It's Susannah! Oh. Oh NO.

Song Of Susannah- Chapters 1 & 2

January 16, 2018 12:00 - 1 hour - 33.3 MB

In which Mr. King is really beginning to try Natasha's patience here.

Wolves Of The Calla- Epilogue

January 02, 2018 12:00 - 1 hour - 36.6 MB

In which Miles live-reads the final entry to Natasha on the air.

Wolves of the Calla- Part 3, Chapter 7

December 26, 2017 12:00 - 1 hour - 31.5 MB

In which our team finally faces down the big bad Wolves.

Wolves Of The Calla- Part 3, Chapters 5 & 6

December 12, 2017 12:00 - 1 hour - 28.6 MB

In which Miles and I are delighted to see what happens to a certain smug someone who had it comin. Buy Book 6 in the series, 'Song Of Susannah', here using my Amazon link and support the show! http://amzn.to/2iVRTEN

Wolves Of The Calla, Part 3- Chapters 3 & 4

November 23, 2017 12:00 - 1 hour - 34.6 MB

In which Miles and I discuss how goddamn dumb the people in the Calla must be.

Wolves Of The Calla, Part 3- Chapter 2

November 16, 2017 23:02 - 1 hour - 27.5 MB

If there's a problem with the recording, please try re-downloading! I uploaded a corrected version. My apologies for the inconvenience! In which Eddie returns to New York in the nick of time. Otherwise, Calvin may have lost a book.

Wolves Of The Calla, Part 3- Chapter 1

October 31, 2017 11:00 - 1 hour - 39.2 MB

In which it turns out that Father Callahan has some mile-wide blind spots.

Wolves Of The Calla- Part 2, Chapter 9

October 17, 2017 11:00 - 1 hour - 44.2 MB

In which we hear the final chapter of Father Callahan's fantastic tale.

Wolves Of The Calla- Part 2, Chapter 7 & 8

October 10, 2017 11:00 - 1 hour - 35 MB

In these chapters, Jake finds out about Mia and goes to Roland for advice.

Wolves Of The Calla- Part 2, Chapter 6

October 03, 2017 11:00 - 1 hour - 34.4 MB

In which we find out the truth about that one lone Wolf that got killed all those years ago.

Wolves Of The Calla, Part 2- Chapter 5

September 26, 2017 11:00 - 1 hour - 30 MB

In which Miles and I discuss the pros and cons of a naked assassin.

Wolves Of The Calla, Part 2- Chapter 4

September 19, 2017 11:00 - 1 hour - 35.6 MB

In which Father Callahan tells them about all the different versions of America he's seen.

Wolves Of The Calla, Part 2- Chapters 2 & 3

September 12, 2017 11:00 - 1 hour - 43 MB

In these chapters, Father Callahan gets personal and tells them all about his time in Salem's Lot.

Wolves Of The Calla, Part 2- Chapter 1

August 29, 2017 13:00 - 1 hour - 38.1 MB

In which Roland cuts a rug.

Wolves Of The Calla: Chapter 7

August 15, 2017 13:00 - 1 hour - 37.9 MB

In which the boys go Todash again, and this time Roland and Susannah tag along. And also, Susannah's got LEGS!

Wolves Of The Calla- Chapters 5 & 6

August 01, 2017 13:00 - 59 minutes - 27.4 MB

In which we learn about just how brutal the Wolves are, and what happens when Roont children come home.

Wolves Of The Calla- Chapter 4

July 18, 2017 13:00 - 1 hour

In which Father Callahan gets more than he bargained for in Roland. Check out our new sponsor, Accio Box! It's a monthly Harry Potter subscription box, and with code UNSPOILED you'll get 10% off your first 3 boxes! www.acciobox.com

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