UNPOLISHED
67 episodes - English - Latest episode: about 3 years ago - ★★★★★ - 59 ratingsNYC comedian Alvin Kuai speaks before he thinks.
Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/alvinkuai?fan_landing=true
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Episodes
ASIANS IN AMERICA
March 23, 2021 02:55 - 20 minutes - 46 MBAlvin riffs for 10 minutes on complete BS before talking about racism against Asians.
HELL'S KITCHEN
March 14, 2021 06:50 - 29 minutes - 67.6 MBAlvin talks about Groundhog Day, seasonal allergies, and Hell's Kitchen.
THE PRODIGAL SON RETURNS
February 19, 2021 03:53 - 21 minutes - 49.7 MBI'm back baby. Thinking of starting a Patreon. $5 a month for 2 extra episodes. $10 for 4. Lemme know what you guys think. Write to me at [email protected]. Seriously, I want to hear from you.
PODCAST IS STILL LATE
January 28, 2021 18:15 - 49 seconds - 784 KBSorry, laptop is still in the shop.
PODCAST WILL BE LATE THIS WEEK
January 24, 2021 16:58 - 36 seconds - 575 KBNew episode will come out Thursday because my shit is broke
SCARED TO DIE
January 16, 2021 18:38 - 34 minutes - 78.6 MBAlvin talks about being terrified of death
SEIGE ON THE CAPITOL
January 10, 2021 20:13 - 35 minutes - 80.1 MBAlvin talks about rednecks invading the Capitol Building, the overload of twerking vids on TikTok, and Elon Musk.
THE LIFECYCLE OF A KAREN
January 03, 2021 19:25 - 35 minutes - 80.6 MBAlvin talks about the stages of life all Karens go through. He also talks about doing standup in CT, Ted Cruz, and receiving hate comments online.
HAPPY HOLIDAYS HEHEHE
December 27, 2020 19:37 - 54 minutes - 125 MBIn this extremely heartwarming episode, Alvin wishes you a happy holidays and talks sweet nothings in your ear.
LA PETITE TEET
December 20, 2020 20:40 - 54 minutes - 126 MBAlvin talks about his sketch comedy group in college, starting comedy in Chicago, getting an anal procedure called a flexsig, and Jake Paul calling out Conor McGregor.
DOWNLOADING VIRUSES FROM LIMEWIRE
December 13, 2020 05:07 - 57 minutes - 131 MBHe also talks about bombing onstage last Friday, the great legacy of Russell Peters, downloading illegal music off Limewire, the early days of YouTube, and watching porn for the first time.
NYC IS DOING A TERRIBLE JOB WITH COVID
December 06, 2020 05:50 - 59 minutes - 136 MBAlvin talks about how terribly the NYC government is handling COVID. He he also discusses accents of different countries, getting attacked on TikTok, two girls one cup, the show What Would You Do, and Asians getting attacked during COVID.
ADOPTING A KID
November 29, 2020 19:31 - 1 hour - 142 MBAlvin gives advice to an alcoholic who decided to adopt his nephew from his drug addicted sister. He also talks about how it's confusing that women can't show their nipples, doing road gigs as a comedian, and why he loves to listen to people complain.
HAPPY THANKSGIVING
November 26, 2020 04:08 - 29 minutes - 67.4 MBHere's a podcast you can listen to as you pretend to listen to your crazy Uncle talk about why Alex Jones should be the next president.
I USED TO SELL NUDES
November 22, 2020 03:57 - 38 minutes - 88.1 MBAlvin gives advice to a listener who used to sell nudes. He also talks about getting attacked by communists on Twitter, Tucker Carlson being created in a lab, whether you should buy Pfizer stock, and why working out hard is counterproductive.
THERE ARE WHORES EVERYWHERE
November 19, 2020 03:30 - 36 minutes - 55.5 MBAlvin talks about fitness influencers on Instagram, Shaq's genitals, people buying milk at CVS, and why it's better to be a heroin addict than a meth addict.
WHAT I THINK ABOUT DISABLED PEOPLE
November 15, 2020 04:36 - 29 minutes - 68.2 MBAlvin talks about not understanding Gen Z, disabled people, and apologizing to white women
JOHNNY DEPP GETTING BEAT LIKE HOT CAKES
November 12, 2020 01:09 - 20 minutes - 46.1 MBAlvin talks about Johnny Depp getting physically abused by his wife, American Idol, and cringey internet videos
SAVE JOHNNY DEPP
November 12, 2020 01:09 - 20 minutes - 46.1 MBAlvin talks about Johnny Depp getting physically abused by his wife, American Idol, and cringey internet videos
JOE BIDEN AND DONALD TRUMP
November 09, 2020 04:24 - 32 minutes - 75.1 MBAlvin talks about Biden winning the election, not having to tip delivery boys with contact free delivery, social anxiety, and Dave Chappelle's SNL monologue
THE PRESIDENTIAL ELECTION SO FAR
November 05, 2020 06:08 - 24 minutes - 56.3 MBAlvin talks about the pending Presidential Election.
NYC MAN FALLS INTO PIT OF RATS
November 02, 2020 04:59 - 26 minutes - 39.7 MBHeadlines discussed: NYC Man Falls Into a Pit of Rats, Updates on Presidential Election Polls, Tropical Storm Zeta, Four Reasons the Stock Market Could Crash, Kanye West Gives Kim Kardashian a Hologram of Her Dead Father
NYPD SAYS TRUMP 2020
October 30, 2020 03:32 - 34 minutes - 52.6 MBHeadlines Discussed: NYPD Officer Suspended for Saying "Trump 2020" from Patrol Car Speaker, Amy Coney Barrett Sworn in as Supreme Court Justice, Wildfires in California, Attack Drones Dominating Tanks in Armenia-Azerbaijan Territorial War
BIDEN LEADS TRUMP IN TEXAS (YEAH RIGHT)
October 30, 2020 03:32 - 29 minutes - 67.2 MBAlvin covers the weekend news: Biden leads Trump in Texas Polls, Five Reasons Why Trump Could Win, Multiple Aids to Pence Test Positive for Coronavirus, Pope Francis Appoints the First Black Carndinal, Stimulus Check Update, and UFC 254
THE FINAL PRESIDENTIAL DEBATE
October 30, 2020 03:32 - 51 minutes - 117 MBAlvin recaps the final presidential debate
I DON'T CARE ABOUT YOUR DEAD GRANDMOTHER
October 30, 2020 03:32 - 18 minutes - 41.2 MBAlvin talks about how exhausting it is feigning sympathy when someone tells you one of their family members died.
DEAD PEOPLE
October 30, 2020 03:32 - 18 minutes - 41.2 MBAlvin talks about how exhausting it is feigning sympathy when someone tells you one of their family members died.
50 VIEWS ON PORNHUB
October 30, 2020 03:31 - 16 minutes - 37.6 MBAlvin ponders how disappointing it would be to upload a video on Pornhub only to get 50 views. And other stuff.
AWARENESS AND EMPTINESS
October 30, 2020 03:31 - 33 minutes - 77.5 MBAlvin talks about awareness and emptiness in the context of Buddhism. He also discusses SNL, the Lakers, and roommates.
VICE PRESIDENTIAL DEBATE
October 30, 2020 03:31 - 31 minutes - 73.2 MBAlvin talks about the VP debate, visiting an anus doctor, and other stuff.
500 GRAND
October 30, 2020 03:31 - 26 minutes - 38.9 MBAlvin recounts when he was directly in charge of investing $500,000 as a 21 year old.
BARKING AND BRAWLING
October 30, 2020 03:31 - 29 minutes - 67.8 MBIn the longest episode yet, Alvin talks about drunk people fighting in the West Village, arguing with conspiracy theorists, and shopping for bicycles.
DIVERSITY
October 30, 2020 03:31 - 23 minutes - 54.7 MBAlvin talks about the importance of diversity with comedy audiences. He also admires Shaq.
PRESIDENTIAL DEBATE 1
October 30, 2020 03:30 - 27 minutes - 62.6 MBAlvin recaps the first presidential debate and then talks about conservative Latinos.
BASKETBALL TALK
October 30, 2020 03:30 - 17 minutes - 40.9 MBAlvin talks about Lebron's career, the Washington Wizards, and having sex everyone that offers. This was recorded earlier in the week.
SEXUALLY HARASSED
October 30, 2020 03:30 - 19 minutes - 45.6 MBAlvin talks about Trump's taxes, feminism in sports, and a story of how he was sexually harassed.
FRIENDSHIP
October 30, 2020 03:30 - 18 minutes - 42.1 MBAlvin talks about getting punched in the face recently. He also convinces himself that men and women can't be friends.
WALK ME THROUGH YOUR RESUME
October 30, 2020 03:29 - 17 minutes - 39.3 MBAlvin talks about job interviews, people gaining weight, and black people talking.
POH-LICE
October 30, 2020 03:29 - 18 minutes - 42.1 MBAlvin talks about police, google reviews, and people who jump from relationship to relationship.
BULLS*** ECONOMICS
October 30, 2020 03:29 - 21 minutes - 33.6 MBAlvin gives a messy discussion of economics.
SHOVE IT DOWN MY THROAT
October 30, 2020 03:29 - 21 minutes - 49.1 MBAlvin talks about going on Keto, getting punched by Mike Tyson, and gay bars in Hell's Kitchen.
1.5 ASIAN
October 30, 2020 03:29 - 27 minutes - 40.4 MBAlvin and guest comedian Luke Trovese talk all things Asian.
SOLVING INTERNATIONAL RELATIONS
October 30, 2020 03:29 - 19 minutes - 45 MBAlvin talks about Kanye pissing on a grammy and why he loved it.
NEW YORK IS DEAD
October 30, 2020 03:28 - 17 minutes - 40.9 MBAlvin explores why incest and sodomy are illegal. He also talks coronavirus.
INTERRACIAL
October 30, 2020 03:28 - 23 minutes - 53.1 MBAlvin talks about the strange state of race relations in America
SPIRALING INTO DEPRESSION
October 30, 2020 03:28 - 23 minutes - 55 MBAlvin talks about depression and also gives a shoutout to chubby white girls.
ALL HAIL MAO ZEDONG
October 30, 2020 03:28 - 15 minutes - 35.2 MBAlvin talks about the Cultural Revolution in China and how he was a crybaby in the 1st grade.
THE NEXT JERRY SEINFELD
October 30, 2020 03:28 - 18 minutes - 41.6 MBAlvin does observational comedy in a Jerry Seinfeld voice.
I LOVE BROWN PEOPLE
October 30, 2020 03:28 - 20 minutes - 17.8 MBAlvin talks about his love for brown people and why it should be legal to punch middle school kids
AMERICA'S NEXT DADDY
October 30, 2020 03:27 - 22 minutes - 19.9 MBAlvin talks the 2020 election... and picking fights after you've sharted.