Unhinged and Bumbled up : The relatable dating podcast
73 episodes - English - Latest episode: about 2 years ago -Season 3 Out on Friday 11th Feb
We're Back!!!!
Welcome to the world of unhinged and bumbled up,
Are you fed up of dating apps? Fed up of swiping left continously? Want to find a deeper connection? Just not getting that intimacy you want? Subconscious behaviours leading to falling into those same traps?
Are you an anxious attachment style, keep running to those people because they show you a little attention?
are you avoident? When things start to get serious you run the other way?
we have you covered!
Join us as we embark on a journey through the world of online dating, meeting people in person, relationships and much more
Our hosts are:
Phil, that guy who has had his fair share of bad dates that didn't turn into his happily ever after!
Jane, had so many dating disasters that she wrote a book about them, just when she was about to give up, she ended up meeting Mr. Right
They talk about our experiences and opinions on how to survive the minefield that is dating, all with a little (alright a lot of) help from some amazing guests.
For more click here for our website
Unhinged and bumbled up instagram
Get bonus content on PatreonHosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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Episodes
Life and relationship as a Dominatrix - Andrea - Megara Fury
April 07, 2022 17:59 - 35 minutes - 80.7 MBThis week Phil and Jane will be joined by Andrea Scotland's number one dominatrix according to the sun She talks all about life as a dominatrix and how her relationship works and so much more, so delve into the work of being a dominatrix Get bonus content on Patreon Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Life and relationship as a Dominatrix - Andrea - Megara Fury
April 07, 2022 17:59 - 35 minutes - 80.7 MBThis week Phil and Jane will be joined by Andrea Scotland's number one dominatrix according to the sun She talks all about life as a dominatrix and how her relationship works and so much more, so delve into the work of being a dominatrix Get bonus content on Patreon Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
8BitBetty - Dating series on Tiktok
March 18, 2022 00:00 - 33 minutes - 77 MBThis week Phil and Jane are joined by Lewis, Lewis decided that he would take girls on dates, not your average dates though, these were the girls idea and Lewis drove all over the UK to take part in these dates. Then he decided he would take a girl from Tiktok on a date to lapland for christmas and then a big valentines date to Paris. Did he find love? what happened in Paris? Lots of different girls and one man, what could go wrong? Get bonus content on Patreon Hosted on Acast. See acas...
Toxic Dating - what we get told, myths vs truth
March 11, 2022 00:00 - 31 minutes - 71.9 MBIn this episode we talk about all the toxic advice that we get told. we decipher toxic advice and give our opinions on what it we should do instead so sit back, relax and be careful what you consume in life because it can start to make you like that, that's we do it for you Get bonus content on Patreon Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
It's Okay Clothing - Mental health and Dating
March 04, 2022 00:00 - 31 minutes - 71.9 MBPhil and Jane are Joined by the founder of It's Okay Clothing, a mental health awareness clothing brand. It’s OKAY is a message, a message to display that it’s Okay to feel and be whoever you are without any form of discrimination- this message is something that we want to convey through our empowering, statement designs. Hi, I’m Aaron - the man that has founded Its Okay. It’s Okay has been founded as an inspiring awareness clothing brand in 2021, but the foundations of the brand solidifi...
Tinder Swindler - Our breakdown
February 25, 2022 00:00 - 30 minutes - 70.2 MBMost of us have watched the tinder swindler, now we break it down and look at what really went on. We speak about the amount of scams that happened with dating apps and lots more Get bonus content on Patreon Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Tinder Swindler - Our breakdown
February 25, 2022 00:00 - 30 minutes - 70.2 MBMost of us have watched the tinder swindler, now we break it down and look at what really went on. We speak about the amount of scams that happened with dating apps and lots more Get bonus content on Patreon Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Bonus - Toxic Tiktok Trend about dating apps
February 18, 2022 10:01 - 17 minutes - 175 MBIn this episode Phil looks at the new tiktok trend that is causing people to quit the dating apps, please listen and lets put a stop to this together People are screen recording dating profiles (without consent) all their information, Age, Name, Location, Social media handles and more. then putting them on TikTok and judging people. Email Tinder Email Bumble Email Hinge Get bonus content on Patreon Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Izzie Miller - Mindset and dating
February 18, 2022 00:00 - 40 minutes - 92.9 MBOn this episode Phil and Jane are joined by Izzie Miller as we talk all things mindset and dating Izzie is A speaker, content creator, and trained NLP practitioner, Izzie has a mission to inspire others to reconnect with their authentic self and consequently help them to lead a life of freedom, unaffected by external circumstances. She is the founder of the ‘Neutrality Mentality’ which has led to the relentlessly positive personality she exudes. Life is short. How short? We’ll never k...
Valentines Day and Dating
February 11, 2022 00:00 - 22 minutes - 51.3 MBPhil and Jane are back for season 3. This week they talk about Valentines day and what to do if you're single, what they have been upto over the break and what is coming up on season 3 of Unhinged and bumbled up. So sit back, relax and lets get this episode started Get bonus content on Patreon Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Friends With Benefits - playing by the rules
December 31, 2021 15:32 - 31 minutes - 72.3 MBIn this episode Phil and Jane look at Friends with benefits and some rules they have found about them What are your thoughts? did you agree? anything you want to add? then let us know Get bonus content on Patreon Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Season Break - 30 Reasons to swipe left - Jane Fulton - The Extra Swipe
December 24, 2021 19:46 - 31 minutes - 73.1 MBWelcome to our first ever extra swipe. As patreon members you get access to all the extras More questions and answers regarding the book Jane's Dating disasters The opening line awards The perfect profile Best place to date in Glasgow So sit back relax and enjoy the extra content Get bonus content on Patreon Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Season Break - Extra swipe - Long Distance Relationships
December 16, 2021 17:21 - 18 minutes - 43.4 MBWhile on a season break, Phil and Jane decided to give you the extra swipe. on this weeks episode we will be talking all things Long distance relationships our advice how they can work and so much more so enjoy and we look forward to seeing you next year for season 3 Get bonus content on Patreon Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Finale Episode - Season 2 - Dating and Christmas
December 11, 2021 20:39 - 26 minutes - 61.3 MBThe season Finale is here and this week Phil and Jane will be talking about their year What has changed, their favourite episode in the season what is coming next next season what to do if you're alone for christmas Get bonus content on Patreon See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
Hypnotherapy - RTT - Phil's Mum
December 02, 2021 20:42 - 35 minutes - 80.4 MBThe moment you have all been waiting for! Phil and Jane have Phil's Mum on the podcast. She is a hypnotherapist that deals in relationships, codependency, weight loss and much more. Hear Phil squirm as his mum reveals her dating disasters we talk about the hypnotherapy process and how things that occured in childhood can lead to subconscious traits you have today. https://www.instagram.com/reflectbackhypnotherapy [email protected] Get bonus content on Patreon Hoste...
Dating Offline - Where to find people
November 26, 2021 10:30 - 30 minutes - 69.2 MBIt seems such a weird concept but years ago, we actually met people offline. Long before the apps we met people outside... we have just changed the norm to be dating apps Listen to this episode to find out our take on where to meet people offline, the amazing things out there and how to try something new. Get bonus content on Patreon Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Dating apps - deep dive and different apps
November 19, 2021 18:01 - 32 minutes - 74.3 MBThis week we talk dating apps - Phil has been deep diving, and found some interesting information. The amount the dating app industry is worth how they make money his thoughts on whether dating apps work or not Jane has a game for Phil to guess what these dating apps specialise in We both have found people in the past on dating apps but not sure whether they have changed so much that it has ruined the experience Get bonus content on Patreon Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for...
Dr. Abby Medcalf - The break up - Part 2
November 14, 2021 20:28 - 25 minutes - 58.8 MBWe're back with Dr. Abby Medcalf for part 2 we will talk about manifesting how to deal with a break up being a half and attracting a whole Get bonus content on Patreon Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Dr. Abby Medcalf - The break up, the science and so much more
November 08, 2021 00:00 - 35 minutes - 80.7 MBPhil and Jane are joined by Abby Medcalf, they absolutely loved this high energy episode. We talk about breaking up with your ex and how your brain works, looking at the actual science We answer your questions that you asked us on instagram So much information that will absolutely change your world when it comes to dating Abby can be found at https://abbymedcalf.com/ Get bonus content on Patreon Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
The Break up
October 28, 2021 23:00 - 29 minutes - 67 MBThis week Phil and Jane will take about break ups Listen to their own person experiences How quickly before the got back on the apps Did they break up or were they the ones who were broken up with Phil's little rant Celebrity break ups Does the media play a part in break ups? This and so much more Get bonus content on Patreon Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
The Break up
October 28, 2021 23:00 - 29 minutes - 67 MBThis week Phil and Jane will take about break ups Listen to their own person experiences How quickly before the got back on the apps Did they break up or were they the ones who were broken up with Phil's little rant Celebrity break ups Does the media play a part in break ups? This and so much more Get bonus content on Patreon Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Around the UK in 80 dates - Claira Hermet - Speed dating and self love
October 24, 2021 23:00 - 30 minutes - 69.3 MBOn this episode Phil and Jane will be talking to Claira Hermet, Claira is a BBC radio presenter, Self love and Confidence coach and hosts her own youtube channel as well as being an inspiring people on instagram with her deep and meaningful posts Claira tells us all about her around the UK in 80 dates, see her Youtube for more About her decision to pack up her life and travel around North, Central and south America Losing her mum and sister to cancer and her decision to get a double maste...
Around the UK in 80 dates - Claira Hermet - Extra Swipe
October 21, 2021 23:00 - 30 minutes - 69.1 MBOn this episode Phil and Jane will be talking to Claira Hermet, Claira is a BBC radio presenter, Self love and Confidence coach and hosts her own youtube channel as well as being an inspiring people on instagram with her deep and meaningful posts Extra Swipe has all the segments and so many more questions To find out more about Claira you can find her on Youtube - https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCdJML98UTDp_ecMuI3sPkyg Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/missclairahermet/ or you can...
Kinks and Fetishes - what are they?
October 17, 2021 23:00 - 51 minutes - 118 MBWelcome to the extended episode of Unhinged and Bumbled Up. This week Phil and Jane will be talking all things Kinks and fetishes. Do you know your S&M from your M&S? What is BDSM? Find out if Phil and/or Jane have any kinks or fetishes Phil gets tested on his knowledge of kinks and fetishes by Jane We talk about ways of exploring new kinks Why Kink or Fetish shaming is bad What our instagram followers wanted to know about kinks and fetishes What percentage of them had kinks or fetis...
Kinks and Fetishes - what are they?
October 17, 2021 23:00 - 51 minutes - 118 MBWelcome to the extended episode of Unhinged and Bumbled Up. This week Phil and Jane will be talking all things Kinks and fetishes. Do you know your S&M from your M&S? What is BDSM? Find out if Phil and/or Jane have any kinks or fetishes Phil gets tested on his knowledge of kinks and fetishes by Jane We talk about ways of exploring new kinks Why Kink or Fetish shaming is bad What our instagram followers wanted to know about kinks and fetishes What percentage of them had kinks or fetis...
Cuffing Season has started - are you ready?
October 10, 2021 23:00 - 32 minutes - 75.1 MBOn today's episode Phil and Jane explore cuffing season! It's starting to get cold and cuffing season is upon us, there will be short term relationships, lots of cuddling and being cuffed together for the coldest season of them all... but before all of that, sit back, relax and enjoy. Learn about where cuffing season comes from what to expect from it how to get around the awkwardness when does it all end? then if you want another episode we have our friends with benefits episode on pat...
Tailor Matched - Intimacy, Kinks, Tantric, Matchmaking, Connection and more - Asa Baav
October 03, 2021 23:00 - 40 minutes - 92.7 MBOn this weeks episode Phil and Jane are joined by Asa Baav Asa Baav is the founder of Tailor Matched, a matchmaking agency for the wild at heart and the nationwide thought leader in sexual and romantic compatibility. As a matchmaker, coach, and educator she is on a mission to help busy professionals create deeply satisfying romantic relationships, inside and outside the bedroom - no matter where they are on their dating and relationship journey. We talk about Kinks, Intimacy, finding ou...
A Narcissistic Relationship - Jason Birdie - Extra swipe - Listen to previous episode first
September 27, 2021 11:00 - 24 minutes - 57.2 MBWelcome to the Extra swipe, made for our patreon subscribers. We thought since it was coming to the end of the free month of patreon, we would give you a taste of what extras you can find on Patreon. Each week we offer a little bit more into the world of dating, This week we have Jason Birdie, who is trying to spread his story about being in a narcissistic relationship and helping others who are in similar situations. Extra swipe is full of extra questions, extra segments and is made just...
A Narcissistic Relationship - Jason Birdie
September 26, 2021 23:00 - 33 minutes - 77.4 MBOn this weeks episode Phil and Jane are joined by Jason Birdie. Jason went through an narcissistic relationship, now he tells everyone his story. The signs of a narcissist How he got out of the relationship The support he received from friends and family That anyone can end up in a narcissistic relationship regardless of gender or sexuality Jason also tests Phil and Jane's knowledge around LBGTQIA and gives them some sexualities and they have to try and get the definition correct. It i...
A Narcissistic Relationship - Jason Birdie
September 26, 2021 23:00 - 33 minutes - 77.4 MBOn this weeks episode Phil and Jane are joined by Jason Birdie. Jason went through an narcissistic relationship, now he tells everyone his story. The signs of a narcissist How he got out of the relationship The support he received from friends and family That anyone can end up in a narcissistic relationship regardless of gender or sexuality Jason also tests Phil and Jane's knowledge around LBGTQIA and gives them some sexualities and they have to try and get the definition correct. It i...
Mind the age gap - Age differences when dating
September 19, 2021 23:00 - 45 minutes - 105 MBAll aboard and mind the age gap, as this weeks journey takes us to the land of age differences when dating. Phil and Jane talk about their experiences when it comes to the age gap Does an age gap matter? What's the biggest age gap they've had? A special celebrity segment The opening line awards. and a secret that Phil has kept to himself for all these years.... sorry mum If you want to drop us a dating disaster, give us feedback or just get in touch then - Our Info Instagram - Unhin...
Mind the age gap - Age differences when dating
September 19, 2021 23:00 - 45 minutes - 105 MBAll aboard and mind the age gap, as this weeks journey takes us to the land of age differences when dating. Phil and Jane talk about their experiences when it comes to the age gap Does an age gap matter? What's the biggest age gap they've had? A special celebrity segment The opening line awards. and a secret that Phil has kept to himself for all these years.... sorry mum If you want to drop us a dating disaster, give us feedback or just get in touch then - Our Info Instagram - Unhin...
Hey Saturday - Saskia Nelson
September 12, 2021 23:00 - 42 minutes - 96.9 MBThis week on Unhinged and Bumbled Up, Phil and Jane are joined by Saskia Nelson, Saskia is the founder and creative director of Hey Saturday! A company for all your dating profile picture needs. We find out what makes a perfect photo Why photos are so important The start of the competition between Phil and Jane, where Saskia has set them a challenge The best place to date The opening line awards and much more Remember for more segments and extra content, join our patreon which is free...
30 Reasons to swipe left - Jane Fulton
September 05, 2021 23:00 - 37 minutes - 86.9 MBSeason 2 is here... After a long break, the podcast you've all missed is back, there are a few changes. So what should you expect from the Unhinged and Bumbled up Podcast season 2? Meet Jane, The new co-host and queen of the dating disasters Getting to know Jane, who is the author of 30 reasons to swipe left The Weird World of Dating Into the Ick of It Jane's Game If this episode has left you wanting more, we have got you We have also started a Patreon where you can get early access...
30 Reasons to swipe left - Jane Fulton
September 05, 2021 23:00 - 37 minutes - 86.9 MBSeason 2 is here... After a long break, the podcast you've all missed is back, there are a few changes. So what should you expect from the Unhinged and Bumbled up Podcast season 2? Meet Jane, The new co-host and queen of the dating disasters Getting to know Jane, who is the author of 30 reasons to swipe left The Weird World of Dating Into the Ick of It Jane's Game If this episode has left you wanting more, we have got you We have also started a Patreon where you can get early access...
Trailer Season 2
August 31, 2021 16:03 - 2 minutes - 23.2 MBAn insight into season Two of Unhinged and Bumbled Up Introducing Jane Fulton our new Co-host. Lots of new segments A sneak peek into some of the guests for season 2 So sit back, relax and enjoy listening Get bonus content on Patreon Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
The Season Finale - With Fi Wishart - Love Bites Podcast with Laura and Fi
July 26, 2021 23:00 - 52 minutes - 120 MBThe Season Finale is upon us, What happens when you put Phil and Lizz in the same room, add curry, wine and tequila then add 3 guests? In the Final of our four-part series finale, team Phizz are joined by Jo Westwood, Dani Attanasio and Fi Wishart, we discuss: • Lizz has a question for everyone. • Phil asks a question and then ends up answering it • The final ever 2020 bin! We put the final items in and then seal it shut forever! • Final thoughts are slightly different • Listen all th...
The Nearly Final Episode - With Dani Attanasio - Grownup Hustle Podcast
July 26, 2021 16:00 - 32 minutes - 73.3 MBWhat happens when you put Phil and Lizz in the same room, add curry, wine and tequila then add 3 guests? In the Third of our four-part series finale, team Phizz are joined by Jo Westwood, Dani Attanasio and Fi Wishart, we discuss: • Giant inflatable unicorns taking over Fi's apartment?!?! • The opening line charts takes a strange turn and includes cinnamon, toast and a prince • Into the Ick of it, we find out what has given our guests the ick... name of your sex tape! • Dani answers a ...
The Nearly Final Episode - With Jo Westwood - The Anti-People Pleasing Podcast
July 25, 2021 23:00 - 43 minutes - 100 MBIn this episode: What happens when you put Phil and Lizz in the same room, add curry, wine and tequila then add 3 guests? In the second of our four-part series finale, team Phizz are joined by Jo Westwood, Dani Attanasio and Fi Wishart, we discuss: The final facts about dating which no-one was prepared for? Lizz's plans for 2022 and the special day that we recorded? Vaginas, sex and anal... wait have we got the right podcast? Jo answers a listener question And we find out how everyone...
The Last Solo Episode of Season One - With Phil Ward and Lizz Summers
July 25, 2021 11:00 - 15 minutes - 35.8 MBIn this episode: What happens when you put Phil and Lizz in the same room, add curry, wine and tequila…? In the first of our four-part series finale, team Phizz tell all, answering questions sent in by listeners like: What’s our favourite dating app? Do accents matter? Is it *really* possible to stay friends with an ex…? We hope you enjoy this mini episode! Check out the remaining series finale instalments - where we’re joined by some incredible special guests - dropping over Sunday an...
Once upon a time there was a dating app that did everything differently - with Clémentine Lalande
July 18, 2021 23:00 - 1 hour - 33.5 MBin the penultimate week of the season, Phil and Lizz ask the question: What if you took everything about online dating and flipped it on it’s head? This week, we’re joined by Clémentine Lalande, founder of dating App ‘Once’, who’s all-female development team took all the things people hate about dating Apps.. and did THE OPPOSITE! What can you expect in episode 21? What disruptor dating App ‘Once’ is doing differently - and why we love it! A feature-length dating disaster which will mak...
Want to feel ELATEd about dating again? The anti-ghosting app - With Sanjay Panchal
July 11, 2021 23:00 - 1 hour - 172 MBThis week, Phil and Lizz are joined by Sanjay Panchal; founder of dating App Elate, which is disrupting the dating scene by doing things a little differently… Priding itself on quality over quantity, Elate promises ‘less swiping, less ghosting and fewer d*ckheads’. We had to find out more! What can you expect in episode 20? The magic of three - how streamlining the number of people you chat to can help build better connections One strike and you’re out - How Elate is prick-proofing dat...
Know Your Worth - From finding yourself, dating and knowing when to leave a relationship
July 04, 2021 23:00 - 1 hour - 40.6 MBThis week’s topic was chosen by our Instagram followers: ‘Know your worth’. What is knowing your worth? Why is knowing your worth important? And how does knowing your worth help you survive the dating scene and quit dating douchebags? What can you expect in episode 19? Why you keep ending up repeating the same cycle; choosing the same people and having the same problems What knowing your worth actually looks like in dating and relationships When a relationship isn't working and wh...
Swipe Match Talk Check - The how to stay safe when dating online
June 27, 2021 23:01 - 57 minutes - 131 MBThis week, Phil and Lizz are joined by Charly Lester; a true connoisseur of the dating world! In this episode, we grill Charly about all things Dating Safety, including: 30 dates before 30 - Charly’s quest to get herself out there before her 30th birthday Lumen - the dating App founded by Charly for the over 50s - (and it’s pretty damn controversial marketing campaigns!) RealMe - what dating Apps are doing to make your dating life safer! So to find out how to get a bit more peace of ...
Swipe Match Talk Check - The how to stay safe when dating online - with Charly Lester
June 27, 2021 23:01 - 57 minutes - 131 MBThis week, Phil and Lizz are joined by Charly Lester; a true connoisseur of the dating world! In this episode, we grill Charly about all things Dating Safety, including: 30 dates before 30 - Charly’s quest to get herself out there before her 30th birthday Lumen - the dating App founded by Charly for the over 50s - (and it’s pretty damn controversial marketing campaigns!) RealMe - what dating Apps are doing to make your dating life safer! So to find out how to get a bit more peace of ...
The one where Phil recorded an episode alone! the ABC's of dating part 2
June 20, 2021 23:01 - 50 minutes - 116 MBThis week Phil and Lizz... Wait where is Lizz? who decided it was a good idea to let Phil record an epsiode alone? why did we give him two parts? is it really going to be about the ABC's of dating? What can you expect in episode 17? Lots and Lots of Tangents (again) Phil talking about dating terms. MSN messenger and what happened with Australia More help from our amazing friends making sure this episode isn't a complete disaster A project that we need your help with Oh and a Phone ca...
The one where Phil recorded an episode alone! the ABC's of dating part 1
June 20, 2021 15:00 - 42 minutes - 97 MBThis week Phil and Lizz... Wait where is Lizz? who decided it was a good idea to let Phil record an episode alone? This episode is all about the ABC's of dating What can you expect in episode 16? Lots and Lots of Tangents Phil realising he hasn't plugged his mic in Some help from some of our amazing friends The possibility of learning new dating terms, if Phil remembers that is what the episode is about Phil just being Phil and maybe getting the show taken off the air Basically Never...
Codependency Actually with the Notts Crew part 2.
June 13, 2021 23:30 - 57 minutes - 132 MBThis week Phil and Lizz are joined by Jo Westwood - Codependency Coach Extraordinaire and all round fabulous human! Have you ever been a relationship that was all drama-drama-drama? Felt like you spend your whole life pleasing other people and end up exhausted? Realised you had totally lost yourself in a relationship? You might have a problem with codependency… in this episode, Jo shares with us her top tips on how to tell if you have a problem with codependency and how to spot if you ...
Codependency Actually with the Notts Crew part 2. With Jo Westwood
June 13, 2021 23:30 - 57 minutes - 132 MBThis week Phil and Lizz are joined by Jo Westwood - Codependency Coach Extraordinaire and all round fabulous human! Have you ever been a relationship that was all drama-drama-drama? Felt like you spend your whole life pleasing other people and end up exhausted? Realised you had totally lost yourself in a relationship? You might have a problem with codependency… in this episode, Jo shares with us her top tips on how to tell if you have a problem with codependency and how to spot if you ...
Codependency Actually with the Notts Crew part 1. With Jo Westwood
June 13, 2021 23:00 - 46 minutes - 107 MBThis week Phil and Lizz are joined by Jo Westwood - Codependency Coach Extraordinaire and all round fabulous human! Have you ever been a relationship that was all drama-drama-drama? Felt like you spend your whole life pleasing other people and end up exhausted? Realised you had totally lost yourself in a relationship? You might have a problem with codependency… in this episode, Jo shares with us her top tips on how to tell if you have a problem with codependency and how to spot if you ...