UTND 039 UPDATE: The Pope, the Dalai Lama and the new iphone

2:55 minutes: A super short news update about three big religions (plus audio transcript).

In this short news update, comedian CJ Delling updates you on the news of the week.

Transcript:

Thank you for joining this short news update here at Under the News Desk. My name is CJ Delling and I am bringing you news from around the world.

New York

Argentinean-born Pope Francis visited Cuba and the United States this week – And what a trip it’s been: Havana, Washington, New York and Philadelphia – a combination that is now on sale as a Catholic Kontiki Tour package.

And the Pope lived up to his humble reputation. When he landed in Washington he then got into a mid-sized FIAT to drive to the embassy. Of course, that makes a lot of sense because

•    FIAT is an Italian brand,

•    last year FIAT merged with the US car manufacturer Chrysler,

•    and at the moment nobody would want to be caught driving in a VW.

And what a wonderful reception the Pope was given pretty much everywhere he went, which is something that cannot be said about everyone coming to the US from Middle or South America.

And it has been reported that Pope Francis was instrumental in fixing the relationship between Cuba and the US. He is a diplomat with almost supernatural powers. I hope he can now focus on bringing peace to Eastern Syria, or Eastern Ukraine, or the Eastern Suburbs of Sydney where the Millers are fighting the Franklins over the height of their garden fence.

And finally no, it is not true that all your sins are now forgiven just because you followed the #PopeinUS on Twitter everyday.

London

The leader of the Tibetan Buddhists and all-round international superstar – His Holiness the 14th Dalai Lama was in London this week. He is the longest lived- incumbent and he was identified as the next Dalai Lama when he was just 4 years old. During an interview with the BBC he said that a female Dalai Lama would have to be “very, very, attractive” or be “not much use”.

Known for his great sense of humour, he then also confirmed that he was not joking.

So if it is all about good looks, how could we possible identify the next – male or female – Dalai Lama – at such an early age? Finally, I can see why the world needs the show: Toddlers and Tiaras.

Silicon Valley

Apple’s new iphone 6s is now available and as is tradition, some super fans camped outside the stores for a few days to be first in line. One person waiting outside a store even compared the launch of the new iphone to childbirth.

Sure, it is hard to predict when it will happen, it is really expensive, and whatever you do, don’t ever drop it.

That has been the News Update from Under the News Desk. Thank you for Listening.