Welcome to Comfortable Conversations With Gregory! On today’s extra special episode, we talk about how special and important you are and how to stay comfortable in any situation. Make sure you surround yourself only with people who believe what you believe.

Always find trivial ways to feel better about yourself. Never consider the possibility that you need to change whatsoever. Have a child so that you will always have someone to feel superior to and no one can question your parenting choices. If you live a really long time, it automatically makes you right.

If you have a title in your name (or a middle initial), you are really smart. If random men on the internet think about you when they masturbate, your existence is worthwhile. Spend a lot of time in loud clubs impressing strangers. Most importantly, talk down to everyone.

Happy April 1st, everyone. It’s always important to celebrate holidays and give in to the demands of your culture.