Two Packs: Trading Card Comedy presented by Meltdown Comics
51 episodes - English - Latest episode: almost 7 years ago - ★★★★★ - 30 ratingsTwo Packs is the trading card comedy podcast! Join host Geoffrey Golden and a special guest as they crack open packs of bizarre, retro trading cards from The A-Team to Xena: Dangerous Liaisons. While they discover what’s inside, they discuss forgotten pop culture, geeky childhood memories, and a thoughtful exploration of the human condition through a post-post-modern lens. (Or, y'know, Garbage Pail Kids.)
Homepage Apple Podcasts Google Podcasts Overcast Castro Pocket Casts RSS feed
Episodes
#51: PACK ATTACK: Pukeymon vs. Zero Heroes (w/ Asterios Kokkinos)
May 15, 2017 07:00 - 48 minutes - 43.5 MBThe series finale of Two Packs is a massive Pack Attack battle royale! Guest Asterios Kokkinos (Something Awful) and host Geoffrey Golden open packs of Zero Heroes and Pukeymon cards, then combine them to make a collectable card game. Who’s the more mighty urinator: Power Baby or Starpee? Will Burple get indigestion from eating the Great Gobbler? Which is uglier: Captain Ugly or the art on the Pukeymon cards? All these important questions might very well be answered on the puketabulous final ...
#50: Garbage Pail Kids (w/ R. Sikoryak)
May 03, 2017 07:00 - 22 minutes - 19.7 MBGuest R. Sikoryak (Terms and Conditions graphic novel) joins host Geoffrey Golden for Two Packs, the trading card comedy show! On this special behind-the-cards episode, Geoffrey interviews Bob about his time at Topps in the 1980s writing gags for Garbage Pail Kids and Toxic High. They discuss how Garbage Pail Kids were made, the now famous indie cartoonists who all relied on Topps for a paycheck at the time, and Bob’s new use of illustrated parodies: to take on Trump. All this on this Adam Bo...
#49: Wanted By FBI + True Crime II (w/ Jamie Loftus)
April 27, 2017 07:00 - 34 minutes - 30.9 MBGuest Jamie Loftus (Comedy Central) joins host Geoffrey Golden for Two Packs, the trading card comedy show! This week, they open packs of lawbreaking trading cards – Wanted By FBI (1993) and True Crime II (1992). While opening the packs, they discuss hot cigarette peddler Joe Doto, computer criminal “slash” murder attempter John Aleshe, and the love of Jamie’s life, Robert Durst. All this on this incarcerated episode of Two Packs presented by Meltdown Comics! Follow us on Twitter! @twopacks...
#48: Gruesome Greetings + TMNT 3 (w/ Danny Lacy)
April 19, 2017 07:00 - 29 minutes - 26.2 MBGuest Danny Lacy (Crack-Duck) joins host Geoffrey Golden for Two Packs, the trading card comedy show! This week, they open packs of ooze-covered cards – Gruesome Greetings (1992) and TMNT 3 (1993). While opening the packs, they discuss why the best Pokemon were the trash Pokemon, how a pig’s butt can launch a woman into space, and why the Ninja Turtles looked more disgusting than usual in their third movie. All this on this gross-out episode of Two Packs presented by Meltdown Comics! Follow ...
#47: American Gladiators + Looney Tunes Comic Ball (w/ Grant Pardee)
April 13, 2017 07:00 - 33 minutes - 29.7 MBGuest Grant Pardee (Vice) joins host Geoffrey Golden for Two Packs, the trading card comedy show! This week, they open packs of sports-ish cards – American Gladiators (1991) and Comic Ball IV: Comic Bowl (1992). While opening the packs, they discuss how little they remembered about American Gladiators vs. how crazy it was, the perennial sadness of being a Buffalo Bills fan, and the cultural inevitability of Space Jam. All this on this tennis ball shooting episode of Two Packs presented by Mel...
#46: SNL + Coneheads (w/ Bennie Arthur)
March 23, 2017 07:00 - 36 minutes - 32.7 MBGuest Bennie Arthur (Drunk History) joins host Geoffrey Golden for Two Packs, the trading card comedy show! This week, they open packs of early 90s SNL cards – Saturday Night Live (1992) and Coneheads: The Movie (1993). While opening the packs, they discuss how America needs Stewart Smalley more than ever, the brilliant decision to make a Coneheads movie 16 years after the characters were popular, plus Bennie and Geoffrey bust out their flawless impressions of Keith Richards and Mick Jagger. ...
#45: X-Force + Plasm (w/ Danielle Radford)
March 08, 2017 08:00 - 35 minutes - 31.1 MBGuest Danielle Radford (Screen Junkies) joins host Geoffrey Golden for Two Packs, the trading card comedy show! This week, they open packs of early 90s superhero cards – X-Force (1991) and Plasm (1993). While opening the packs, they discuss casting Sabretooth in a production of Cats, whether “side abs” are a thing, and the ogling of alien dudes’ butts. All on this mechanical limbed episode of Two Packs presented by Meltdown Comics! Follow us on Twitter! @twopackspodcast @danielleradford @...
#44: Sliders + Fox Kids Network (w/ Julia Prescott)
February 18, 2017 08:00 - 35 minutes - 31.8 MBGuest Julia Prescott (Cartoon Network) joins host Geoffrey Golden for Two Packs, the trading card comedy show! This week, they open packs of Fox TV cards – Sliders (1997) and Fox Kids Network (1995). While opening the packs, they discuss their high school moneymaking schemes, the worst part of Sliders (Kromaggs) and the best part of Sliders (episodes without Kromaggs), and how early 90s CG was a bad look for a beloved X-Man. All this on this dimension-hopping episode of Two Packs presented by...
#43: Archie Comics + Beverly Hills 90210 (w/ Erin Mallory Long)
February 08, 2017 08:00 - 38 minutes - 34.7 MBGuest Erin Mallory Long (Cracked) joins host Geoffrey Golden for Two Packs, the trading card comedy show! This week, they open packs of cool teen cards – Archie Comics Cards (1992) and Beverly Hills 90210 (1991). While opening the packs, they discuss how everyone in Riverdale is constantly ogling Veronica in her bikinis, how the male characters on 90210 are physically indistinguishable, and they try to solve the mystery of what’s up with Jughead. All this on the love triangle that is Two Pack...
#42: Who Framed Roger Rabbit? + MAD Magazine (w/ Aaron Sparrow)
February 01, 2017 08:00 - 33 minutes - 29.4 MBGuest Aaron Sparrow (Darkwing Duck Comics) joins host Geoffrey Golden for Two Packs, the trading card comedy show! This week, they open packs of looney, toony cards – MAD Magazine (1992) and Who Framed Roger Rabbit? (1987). While opening the packs, they discuss the versatility of the word “Booooiiiing!”, how to bring MAD Magazine into this century, and the drop-dead sexiness of shirtless Bob Hoskins. All on “the lighter side” of Two Packs presented by Meltdown Comics! Follow us on Twitter! ...
#41: Growing Pains + LAFFS (w/ Ryan Sandoval)
January 25, 2017 08:00 - 33 minutes - 30 MBGuest Ryan Sandoval (Amazon Studios) joins host Geoffrey Golden for Two Packs, the trading card comedy show! This week, they open packs of Urkel-riffic cards – LAFFS (1991) and Growing Pains (1988). While opening the packs, they discuss why so many sitcom characters get race horses, children so awful you want to punch them in the face, and how Perfect Strangers, Full House and Family Matters take place in the same shared universe. All on this heartwarming episode of Two Packs presented by Mel...
#40: Toxic High School + Grossville High (w/ Stephen Perlstein)
January 20, 2017 08:00 - 38 minutes - 34.3 MBGuest Stephen Perlstein (Cartoon Network’s Wabbit) joins host Geoffrey Golden for Two Packs, the trading card comedy show! This week, they open packs of disturbing high school cards – Grossville High (1986) and Toxic High School (1991). While opening the packs, they discuss the most effective ways to bribe a teacher, how Pretty Boy Roy does NOT live up to his nickname, and one trading card wins the yearbook award for “Most Racist.” All on this barely passing episode of Two Packs presented by ...
#39: Meltdown Podcast network Crossover Special
December 21, 2016 08:00 - 49 minutes - 44.7 MBRecorded LIVE at Los Angeles Comic Con 2016! From Anime to Zines, the Meltdown Podcast Network has a show for every type of geek and nerd out there. Join us as the Meltdown hosts collide in this one-of-a-kind geek podcast crossover. Hosted by Geoffrey Golden (Two Packs) and featuring Matt Kennedy (Pod Sequentialism), Mason Booker (Anime Attic), Aristotle Acevedo (It's Pronounced Zine), Natasha Chandel (Kinda Dating) and Dan Brozo (Battlecast). Follow us on Twitter! @twopackspodcast @Geoffr...
#38: Gremlins + Universal Party Monsters (w/ Jenny Jaffe)
December 15, 2016 08:00 - 36 minutes - 32.2 MBGuest Jenny Jaffe (Big Hero 6: The Series) joins host Geoffrey Golden for Two Packs’ all-holiday special! This week, they open packs of cards loosely themed around December holidays – Gremlins (1984) and Universal Party Monsters (1992). While opening the packs, they discuss the grossness of Gizmo’s screaming mouth, the sausage party that is the Universal Monsters, and the unspoken rule of Mogwai: poke air holes into their containers. All on this gift wrapped episode of Two Packs presented by ...
#37: Wacko-Saurs + Disney’s Dinosaurs (w/ Hana Michels)
December 07, 2016 08:00 - 29 minutes - 26.5 MBGuest Hana Michels (Funny or Die) joins host Geoffrey Golden for a pre-historic episode of Two Packs, the trading card comedy show! This week, they open packs of dino cards – Disney’s Dinosaurs (1991) and Wacko-Saurs (1987). While opening the packs, they discuss Baby Dinosaur’s vacant/menacing expression, uncover absolute worst dinosaur jokes ever written, and they perform a rousing rendition of the Was Not Was classic “Walk the Dinosaur.” All on this T-Rex-cellent episode of Two Packs presen...
#36: Snow White + Adventures of Pinocchio (w/ Gail Golden)
November 29, 2016 08:00 - 27 minutes - 24.1 MBGuest Gail Golden (“Mrs. Claus” in the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade) joins her son (!) Geoffrey Golden for an enchanted episode of Two Packs, the trading card comedy show! This week, they open packs of fairy tale cards – Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs (1994) and The Adventures of Pinocchio (1996) trading cards. While opening the packs, they discuss Pepe the Knockoff Cricket, the attempted murder of Snow White by the dwarfs, and actress Gail’s many roles, including Mrs. Claus, a mischievous...
#35: Lost + All My Children (w/ Joey Clift)
November 22, 2016 08:00 - 32 minutes - 28.7 MBGuest Joey Clift (The Nerdist) joins host Geoffrey Golden for a soapy episode of Two Packs, the trading card comedy show! This week, they open packs of ABC drama cards – All My Children (1991) and Lost (2006) trading cards. While opening the packs, they discuss helicopter prison breaks, the paperwork involved in selling a child, and Geoffrey tries to remember anything about Lost. All on this episode of Two Packs presented by Meltdown Comics (and the Dharma Initiative)! Follow us on Twitter! ...
#34: PACK ATTACK: 24 vs. Austin Powers (w/ Asterios Kokkinos)
November 15, 2016 08:00 - 45 minutes - 40.6 MBPack Attack is back baby, yeah! Guest Asterios Kokkinos (Something Awful) and host Geoffrey Golden open packs from the 24 and Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me collectible card games, then make up and play a game combining both cards. Will Austin Powers be-have when teaming with Jack Bauer? Can Fat Bastard successfully put Terrorist Kal Penn into his belly? Will someone throw President Charles Logan a frickin’ bone? All these important questions will be answered on this shagadellic episod...
#33: Fright Flicks + You Slay Me (w/ Yehudi Mercado at LA Comic-Con 2016)
November 07, 2016 08:00 - 31 minutes - 27.9 MBGuest Yehudi Mercado (Rocket Salvage) joins host Geoffrey Golden for a spooktacular episode of Two Packs, the trading card comedy show, just in time for the scariest day of the year... Election Day! Live at Los Angeles Comic-Con, they open packs of Fright Flicks (1988) and You Slay Me (1992) trading cards. While opening the packs, they discuss whether it's PC to assume all ghouls drive hearses, Jeff Goldblum's grossest role, and whether Freddy Krueger would be a viable presidential candidate....
#32: Sears Legends + Congo (w/ Brandon Bird)
October 18, 2016 07:00 - 29 minutes - 25.9 MBGuest Brandon Bird (Astonishing World of Art) joins host Geoffrey Golden for an ape blasting episode of Two Packs a Week, the trading card comedy show! This week, they open packs of Sears Legends (2014) and Congo: the Movie (1995) trading cards. While opening the packs, they discuss hippo attacks, Brandon’s cross-country journey immortalizing Sears stores, and the magical Kathleen Kennedy trading card portal. All on this softer sided episode of Two Packs a Week presented by Meltdown Comics! ...
#31: Saved by the Bell: The College Years + Happy Days (w/ Matt Kennedy)
October 13, 2016 07:00 - 31 minutes - 28.1 MBGuest Matt Kennedy (Pod Sequentialism) joins host Geoffrey Golden for a super cool greaser episode of Two Packs a Week, the trading card comedy show! This week, they open packs of Saved by the Bell: The College Years (1994) and Happy Days (1998) trading cards. While opening the packs, they discuss how Dustin Diamond killed Matt’s opportunity to be on Saved by the Bell, Fonz looking uncomfortable because he’s surrounded by too few women, and they perform the creepiest reading of the back of a ...
#30: Norfin Trolls + Adventures in Fantasy (w/ Renie Rivas)
October 04, 2016 07:00 - 31 minutes - 28.3 MBGuest Renie Rivas (Mighty Magiswords) joins host Geoffrey Golden for a hair-raising episode of Two Packs a Week, the trading card comedy show! This week, they open packs of Michael Whelan Adventures in Fantasy (1993) and Norfin Trolls (1993) trading cards. While opening the packs, they discuss the practicality of wearing a fur bikini in an arctic tundra, the connection between the Troll dolls and the Olsen Twins, and illustrator Michael Whelan's fantastic world of excuses. All on this norfin'...
#29: Ninja Turtles (1st Movie)+ Ninja Turtles (Original Series) (w/ Jesse Snider
September 20, 2016 07:00 - 27 minutes - 24.6 MBGuest Jesse Snider (Evil Ernie) joins host Geoffrey Golden for a turtle powered episode of Two Packs a Week, the trading card comedy show! This week, they open packs of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle movie (1990) and animated series (1989) trading cards. While opening the packs, they discuss the etiquette for relieving yourself in a sewer lair, whether Shredder would actually eat turtle soup if given the opportunity, and the Secret of the Original Theme Song. All on this nunchuck-wielding episod...
#28: Gong Show + Rock Stars (1979) (w/ Joshua Heller & Erika Brooks)
September 13, 2016 07:00 - 29 minutes - 25.7 MBGuests Joshua Heller and Erika Brooks Adickman (2 Jews Talking) join host Geoffrey Golden for a macho macho episode of Two Packs a Week, the trading card comedy show! This week, they open packs of Rock Stars (1979) and Gong Show trading cards. While opening the packs, they discuss which Village People member is ‘turned on’ by uggos, a Gong Show contestant who’s melting in (hopefully) chocolate, and they sing the greatest hits of everyone’s favorite rock group The Babys. All on this gong-tasti...
#27: Magnum PI + Buck Rogers (w/ Lara Ingraham)
September 07, 2016 07:00 - 27 minutes - 24.5 MBGuest Lara Ingraham (Key & Peele) joins host Geoffrey Golden for a mustachioed episode of Two Packs a Week, the trading card comedy show! This week, they open packs of Magnum PI and Buck Rogers trading cards. While opening the packs, they discuss why Tom Selleck and Burt Reynolds are fundamentally the same, a controversial new method for rehabilitate drug addicts (getting shot into space), and Magnum’s sweaty, shirtless, hairy workout routine. All on this space exploring episode of Two Packs ...
#26: Sonic the Hedgehog + Howard the Duck (w/ Ify Nwadiwe)
August 23, 2016 07:00 - 32 minutes - 29.2 MBGuest Ify Nwadiwe (@Midnight) joins host Geoffrey Golden for an anthropomorphic episode of Two Packs a Week, the trading card comedy show! This week, they open packs of Howard the Duck and Sonic the Hedgehog trading cards. While opening the packs, they discuss Howard’s current standing in the furry community, why Dr. Robotnik would go to the trouble of putting woodland critters into robots, and the most important criteria for a step family: do they own a Sega Genesis? All on this ring-hoardin...
#25: Street Fighter 2 + Street Fighter: the Movie (w/ Madeleine Flores)
August 09, 2016 07:00 - 32 minutes - 28.7 MBGuest Madeleine Flores (Adventure Time) joins host Geoffrey Golden for the championship edition of Two Packs a Week, the trading card comedy show! This week, they open packs of Street Fighter 2 and Street Fighter: the Movie trading cards. While opening the packs, they’re repulsed at Guile’s constipation face, gawk at Ken mopping up a pool of his own sweat, and – inspired by Vega – figure out the ultimate 1999 AIM screen name. All on this hundred hand slapping episode of Two Packs a Week prese...
#24: Live from San Diego Comic-Con!
July 26, 2016 07:00 - 45 minutes - 40.6 MBGuests Joan Ford (Nerdist), Mike Levine (The Onion), Erika Iishi (Geek & Sundry), and Roger Barr (i-Mockery) join host Geoffrey Golden in a special episode recorded live at a lovely library several blocks away from San Diego Comic-Con 2016! The FOUR guests open THREE all-star packs – Dinosaurs Attack, Rad Dudes, and Skeleton Warriors – and the show was recorded with TWO different audio devices for ONE audience member. As they open the cards, they guess how much Tim Burton paid for the Dinosau...
#23: Mini-Episode: Charlie & The Chocolate Factory (w/ Mason Booker)
July 19, 2016 07:00 - 15 minutes - 13.3 MBTwo Packs producer Mason Booker and host Geoffrey Golden are busy prepping for their first ever live show at San Diego Comic-Con (Thursday, July 21 at 2 pm @ Neil Morgan Auditorium), but they had just enough time to open a pack of Charlie and the Chocolate Factory cards – not the good one, the Johnny Depp one. While opening the pack, they discuss how gross and infuriating the cards are, plus Mason’s crush on Charlie’s mom. All on this bite-size episode of Two Packs a Week presented by Meltdow...
#22: PACK ATTACK: Magic: the Gathering vs. Illuminati (w/ Asterios Kokkinos)
July 11, 2016 07:00 - 32 minutes - 28.8 MBPack Attack is Pack a-BACK! It’s an all-new episode of Two Packs a Week, the trading card comedy show: special Pack Attack Edition – Part II: The Reckonizing. Host Geoffrey Golden and special guest Asterios Kokkinos (Something Awful) open packs from Magic: the Gathering and Illuminati: New World Order trading card games, then make up and play a game combining both cards. Will the singing pink dinosaur survive a nuclear meltdown? What happens when self-righteous moms team-up with a deadly spor...
#21: U.S. of ALF + Americana (w/ Patrick Baker)
July 05, 2016 07:00 - 35 minutes - 31.4 MBCelebrate ‘murica with a new episode of Two Packs a Week, the trading card comedy show! Host Geoffrey Golden and special guest Patrick Baker (Regular Show) open packs of Americana and U.S. of Alf trading cards. While opening the packs, they discuss Alf finding a secret Red Lobster at the bottom of an Arkansas hot springs, Patrick improvises a sure-to-be Tony Award-winning new rap about Alexander Hamilton, and they find what might be the worst trading card ever opened on the show. All on this ...
#20: Garfield + Perlorian Cats (w/ Steven Ray Morris)
June 28, 2016 07:00 - 29 minutes - 26.4 MBIt’s a big fat hairy new episode of Two Packs a Week, the trading card comedy show! Host Geoffrey Golden and special guest Steven Ray Morris (Geek & Sundry) open packs of Garfield and Perlorian Cats trading cards. While opening the packs, they discuss how freakish Garfield’s girlfriend Arlene would look in real life, the kind of people who photograph their cats in elaborate costumes with hyper detailed backdrops, and the ultimate sign of rebellion: a Garfield rub-on tattoo. All on this lasagn...
#19: Hitchhiker’s Guide + Bill Nye the Science Guy (w/ Matt Kirshen)
June 21, 2016 07:00 - 30 minutes - 27.2 MBScience RULES, but isn’t fully understood, on all-new episode of Two Packs a Week, the trading card comedy show! Host Geoffrey Golden and special guest Matt Kirshen (Probably Science) open packs of Bill Nye the Science Guy and Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy trading cards. While opening the packs, they discuss how sleeping makes no evolutionary sense whatsoever, why Bill Nye encourages children to stick their hands into random moist places, and Matt does a very funny impression of his mom. Al...
#18: Wacky Packages + California Raisins World Tour (w/ Lesley Tsina)
June 14, 2016 07:00 - 25 minutes - 22.5 MBYou heard it through the grapevine: it’s an all-new episode of Two Packs a Week, the trading card comedy show! Host Geoffrey Golden and special guest Lesley Tsina (Community, Black-ish) open packs of California Raisins World Tour and Wacky Packages sticker cards. While opening the packs, they discuss whether the California Raisins are human sized or raisin sized, the 80s epidemic of children getting blinded by loose stickers, and the Raisins’ problematic stopover in Kenya. All on this world t...
#17: Desert Storm + Baseball’s Greatest Gross Outs (w/ Lee Keeler)
June 07, 2016 07:00 - 29 minutes - 25.9 MBYou are now enlisted in a new episode of Two Packs a Week, the trading card comedy show! Host Geoffrey Golden and special guest Lee Keeler (The Improv) open packs of Desert Storm and Baseball’s Greatest Gross Outs trading cards. While opening the packs, they discuss the Army’s unit sizes (heh heh heh), how ladies love ballplayers with eyes on their tongues, and they encounter the grossest stick of chewing gum ever in the history of this podcast. All on this missile launching episode of Two Pa...
#16: All-Star Drug Detecting Dogs + Bingo: the Movie (w/ Allegra Ringo)
May 31, 2016 07:00 - 28 minutes - 24.7 MBThe police dogs have smelled out a new episode of Two Packs a Week, the trading card comedy show! Host Geoffrey Golden and special guest Allegra Ringo (Can I Pet Your Dog?) open packs of Bingo: the Movie and All-Star Drug Detecting Dogs trading cards. While opening the packs, they discuss incorporating dogs into Dungeons and Dragons, training a dog to detect drugs at parties just for fun, and whether or not you should be able to arrest a dog for drinking and driving. All on this fetch-tastic ...
#15: PACK ATTACK: Overpower vs. X-Files (w/ Asterios Kokkinos)
May 24, 2016 07:00 - 30 minutes - 27.2 MBPack Attack! Pack Attack! PACK ATTACK! It’s an all-new episode of Two Packs a Week, the trading card comedy show: special Pack Attack edition! (Pack Attack!) Host Geoffrey Golden and special guest Asterios Kokkinos (Something Awful) open packs of Marvel Overpower and X-Files trading card game, then make up and play a game combining both cards. It’s all the match-ups you’ve been waiting for: Spider-Man vs. Smoking Man. Deadpool vs. the Eurisko Corporation’s murderous super-computer. Colossus t...
#14: Comics FutureStars + Hook (w/ Aristotle Acevedo)
May 17, 2016 07:00 - 25 minutes - 22.9 MBSecond star to the right, straight on until you hear a new episode of Two Packs a Week, the trading card comedy show! Host Geoffrey Golden and special guest Aristotle Acevedo (Meltcast 3.0) open packs of Comics FutureStars and Hook trading cards. While opening the packs, they try to guess the names of 90s knockoff superheroes, learn that Peter Pan was a total sociopath, and debate whether or not a neon turkey would actually taste good. All on this hellspawned episode of Two Packs a Week prese...
#13: Dungeons & Dragons + Skeleton Warriors (w/ Zach Ames)
May 03, 2016 07:00 - 27 minutes - 24.3 MBEquip thyne ears with a new episode of Two Packs a Week, the trading card comedy show! Host Geoffrey Golden and special guest Zach Ames (The Andrew DeWitt Show) open packs of ancient Dungeons & Dragons and Skeleton Warriors trading cards. While opening the packs, they discuss monster chair babies, the evil skeleton who looks exactly like wrestling legend The Ultimate Warrior, and creepy old guys who fleece children in Pokemon tournaments. All on this psionic episode of Two Packs a Week presen...
#12: Batman Returns + Dick Tracy (w/ Justin Michael)
April 27, 2016 07:00 - 26 minutes - 23.3 MBLive from Gotham’s fabulous sewers, it’s a new episode of Two Packs a Week, the trading card comedy show! Host Geoffrey Golden and special guest Justin Michael (Batman: the Animated Podcast) open packs of prunefaced Dick Tracy and Batman Returns trading cards. While opening the packs, they discuss whether mobster Ribs Mocca is comedian Mo Rocca’s father, which is more of a Christmas movie: Batman Returns or Die Hard, and whether these cards were written by a Harlequin romance novelist. Put on...
#11: Rad Dudes + The Simpsons (w/ Paige Weldon)
April 19, 2016 17:05 - 32 minutes - 29.1 MBCard-abunga! It’s a new episode of Two Packs a Week presented by Meltdown Comics, the trading card comedy show! Host Geoffrey Golden and special guest Paige Weldon (The Meltdown) open packs of rad ’n’ mad ’n’ totally terrible Rad Dudes and The Simpsons trading cards from 1990. While opening the packs, they discuss whether “Skate Board Scott” is fat or pregnant, how Bart Simpson somehow acquired his Phd, and why all the Rad Dudes look like heroin-addicted murderers. Don’t have a cow, man. But ...
#10: Power Rangers + Sailor Moon (w/ Amanda Meadows)
April 12, 2016 06:59 - 28 minutes - 25.4 MBGo Go Power Traders! It’s a new episode of Two Packs a Week, the trading card comedy show! Host Geoffrey Golden and special guest Amanda Meadows (The Devastator) take a break from finding moon crystals to open packs of Mighty Morphin Power Rangers and Sailor Moon trading cards. While opening the packs, they discuss the Power Rangers monster who got involved with the OJ Simpson trial, scientists demoting Sailor Pluto from her scout status, and whether or not recording this on Valentines Day co...
#9: Pee-Wee’s Playhouse + Super Mario: The Movie (w/ Alex Firer)
April 05, 2016 06:28 - 28 minutes - 25.1 MBMecca lecca hi, mecca hiney WHOA – it’s a new episode of Two Packs a Week, the trading card comedy show! Host Geoffrey Golden and special guest Alex Firer (The Onion) get flushed down a drain pipe and discover Pee-Wee’s Playhouse and Super Mario Bros.: The Movie trading cards. While opening the packs, they discuss the Mario movie’s angry Twitter defenders, how Lawrence Fishbone was tricked into thinking The Matrix was about Pee-Wee Herman, and Alex’s real life “beef” with WTF host Marc Maron....
#8: Babylon 5 + Denny’s The Hobbit (w/ Asterios Kokkinos & Sangita Rayasam)
March 29, 2016 06:59 - 26 minutes - 23.2 MBThe year is 2258. The name of the place is Two Packs a Week, the trading card comedy show! Host Geoffrey Golden and special guests Asterios Kokkinos (Something Awful) and Sangita Rayasam (@ElSangito) take an unexpected, inexplicable journey opening packs of the Babylon 5 Collectable Card Game and Denny’s The Hobbit trading cards. On their valiant quest, they stay at the Captain Sheridan Hotel, dance to dwarf DJ Thorin Oakenshield, and Asterios tells the true story of his lowest point: getting...
#7: Spawn + Valiant Era (w/ Kenny Keil)
March 22, 2016 06:59 - 26 minutes - 23.4 MBWhen you’re caught between heaven and hell… listen to the new episode of Two Packs a Week, the trading card comedy show! Host Geoffrey Golden and special guest Kenny Keil (Mad Magazine) relive the era of gradients and holograms with 90s comics trading cards: Spawn and Valiant Era. As they open these packs, they remember such beloved comics characters as Robot Suit Barbarian, Radioactive Man But Not a Joke, Bikini Angel Warrior, and the lovable Fat Clown. Excelsior– er, rather, Valiant-ior! Al...
#6: Dinosaurs Attack! + Star Trek: TNG (w/ Robin Higgins)
March 15, 2016 07:26 - 33 minutes - 29.8 MBResistance is futile. You must listen to this new episode of Two Packs a Week, the trading card comedy show. Host Geoffrey Golden and special guest Robin Higgins (Reductress) ruthlessly rip into packs of Dinosaurs Attack! and Star Trek: The Next Generation trading cards. As they do, they discuss TNG’s bold prediction that in the future, all devices would basically be USB drives, and they debate whether having dinosaurs in real life would be worth the destruction of a few priceless landmarks. ...
#5: Bench Warmer + Adventures in Toon World (w/ Ian Abramson)
March 08, 2016 07:59 - 28 minutes - 25.5 MBAre you ready for the hottest, sexiest, and simultaneously looniest episode of Two Packs a Week, the trading card comedy show? Host Geoffrey Golden and special guest Ian Abramson (The Onion) touch those downs by opening packs of Bench Warmer and Adventures in Toon World trading cards. Along the way, they discuss the least practical way to shower (as demonstrated by one of the Bench Warmer ladies), Wayne Gretzky and Wile E. Coyote’s shared passion for the hip recreational sport of Rocket Bladi...
#4: WWF Wrestling + Great Guns! (w/ Frank Gibson)
March 01, 2016 08:02 - 26 minutes - 23 MBSay your prayers, eat your vitamins, and listen to this episode of Two Packs a Week, the trading card comedy show, brother. Host Geoffrey Golden and special guest Frank Gibson (Bee and Puppycat) don’t need a permit to open packs of WWF Wrestling and Great Guns! trading cards. Along the way, they unload on firearms that look like tiny vinyl record players, put a chokehold on Butch “I’m Not Quite Hulk Hogan” Reed, and for the main event: Frank becomes the first guest to taste the ancient gum in...
#3: Elvis + Yo MTV Raps! (w/ Mike Levine)
February 23, 2016 20:45 - 29 minutes - 26.2 MBThank you very much for listening to this episode of Two Packs a Week, the trading card comedy show. Run with our crew, host Geoffrey Golden and special guest Mike Levine (The Onion), as they get all shook up by Elvis and Yo! MTV Raps trading cards. While opening these packs, they discuss whether Elvis named his daughter after his private jet, why Vanilla Ice is the seventh best Ninja Turtles rapper, and find out if Geoffrey and Mike won an all-expense paid trip to watch a live taping of Yo! ...
#2: E.T. + ALF (w/ Joan Ford)
February 16, 2016 08:44 - 27 minutes - 24.6 MBThe trail of Reese’s Pieces leads to this episode of Two Packs a Week, the trading card comedy show. (30 year old references? Ha! I kill me…) Host Geoffrey Golden and special guest Joan Ford (UCB Theater) have a close encounter with E.T. and ALF trading cards. While opening these packs, they discuss which part of the male anatomy E.T. looks like (Hint: It’s the penis!), whether it’s racist to say all Melmacians look like ALF, and the unspeakable acts Willie performed to get ALF his fix, all o...