T13 - Projection

In our relationships, we project feelings and emotions on others. Edgar and I talk about projection and how God projects good on us. 

Projection is a defense mechanism that people subconsciously use in order to cope with difficult feelings or emotions (https://www.everydayhealth.com/emotional-health/psychological-projection-dealing-with-undesirable-emotions/)

Projection is the single most derailing and destructive phenomenon in intimate relationships. It hurts our partners by casting them into a false role, and blocks authentic communication. (https://www.monikahoyt.com/projection-in-relationships/)

How to avoid it:

1. Look within - Is the actual issue/problem with you, pause before you "attack" and see the role you play.

2. When you get triggered, stay with the feelings - Don't attack the person, but express how their actions made you feel.

3. Be aware of stress - the higher your stress level, the fewer emotional resources you will have.

What to do when your partner is projecting

1. Be patient and loving - self evaluate

2. Respectfully disengage - understand that the issue is with them and not really with you. Do not retaliate.

3. Do not explain, defend, argue, teach, analyze, counter-attack, or criticize - Seek to understand your partner but do not pick up what isn't yours.

Projection in the Bible

Adam and Eve projected their guilt and shame on God as they hid from Him. They believed their internal condemnation was God's attitude toward them.

God practices healthy projection on us as He projects what He sees in us and what He can accomplish in, for, and with us before it is a reality.

- Gideon (Judges 6)

- Sarah and Abraham (Genesis 17)

You are inherently valuable because you were made in the image of God (with His logo); this value cannot be added to or taken away by what you do or don't do. God gives it to you because He loves you.