Anal Opening Gambit

Rumors are circulating that a 19-year-old chess grandmaster used vibrating anal beads and artificial intelligence to defeat the world's current top chess player Magnus Carlsen. Chess prodigy Hans Niemann, 19, fiercely rejects the accusation that he cheated in his win over Carlsen on September 4 at a tournament at the Saint Louis Chess Club. Before his loss to Neimann, Carlsen, 31, boasted an impressive 53-game winning streak, according to the New York Times.

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Music: Greg Klyma https://www.klyma.com

I hate the news. Like, really hate the news. It’s mostly just politics, and death, and scare tactics. So I decided to create my own news show - for people like me who hate the news - with nothing but funny and wacky stories from around the world. I call it Tony P. Oddcast.