It’s the Final Friday of the month, and it’s time to close the Johnson Account. Ann, Christy, Mike and Bobby have an overflowing mailbag, hot takes on an array of TBTL sponsors, and a late-night hookup for homemade microwaved salami chips that would probably make Luke question his newfound quasi-vegetarianism.

Plus, Bobby’s failed mattress re-boxing, Mike’s inherited underwear, Christy’s new pup Buddy (née Bullet, almost Mullet), and Ann’s opinion that the rest us are “nutburgers.”

This episode is brought to you by Harry’s Berries. Just in time for halloween, give the kind of treat local TV news has been scaring parents with for decades: Harry’s Berries.