If you like piña coladas and getting caught in the rain, this is the Shakespeare movie for you. Stuffed with super obvious callbacks and sitcom plotting, this soft rock movie somehow captured the Academy's heart in a year stuffed with Big Important Dramas. Gwyneth Paltrow got an award for having boobs. Judi Dench got an award for having a face. Tom Stoppard got an award for copy-pasting. And Harvey Weinstein got an award for doing things we'd still rather not think about. Join Brooke and me as we break the record for "what is happening" exclamations and try to puzzle out how a movie this inherently gay managed to be so frustratingly hetero. Also, we both forgot Ben Affleck was in it.

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