Dealing With Infidelity in Your Parents' Marriage - a Teenage Perspective From Olivia

I had a fascinating chat with Olivia (not her real name) about how she felt as a child and teenager witnessing the difficulties in her parents' marriage after her father was unfaithful to her mother over the course of several years.

Olivia's parents are still together, but throughout her teenage years she was affected by the impact her father's affairs had on her own life, and on her mother's emotional health. From financial losses and the need to change schools, to difficulties in seeing her extended family, the practical problems of a messy marriage weren't the only challenges Olivia faced.

She says that any parents navigating the potential breakdown of their marriage need to bear in mind that having to monitor and worry about the state of your parents' relationship is really tough on a child, especially when they're just discovering who they are themselves, with all the stresses that brings.

Her biggest piece of advice? Understand that your kids are teenagers. They have their own problems, and will find the addition of yours overwhelming at times. As such, Olivia says that whilst it's important to be honest with teens, you also need to make sure you don't burden them with more information than they can handle at that moment. There will come a time for whole truths, but perhaps that time isn't always in the moment.

Further Support

Charity Relate has a good page on how to talk to children about divorce and separationVoices in the Middle is an organisation created for young people by young people, and can offer tips to parents about how to start the conversation on relationship difficulties.

More teenage parenting tips:

There are lots more episodes of the Teenage Kicks podcast. You can email me on [email protected]. I’ve also got some posts on the blog that might help parents with other teenage parenting dilemmas, so do pop over to Actually Mummy if you fancy a read.

Thank you so much for listening! Subscribe now to the Teenage Kicks podcast to hear all my new episodes. I'll be talking to some fabulous guests about difficult things that happened to them as teenagers - including losing a parent, becoming a young carer, and being hospitalised with mental health problems - and how they overcame things to move on with their lives.

You can also find more from me on parenting teenagers on Instagram and Twitter @iamhelenwills. I'm delighted to say that I've recently been added to this list of top teen parenting podcasters, which - after only two series I'm super proud of.

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Please note that I am not a medical expert, and nothing in the podcast should be taken as medical advice. If you're worried about a teenager, please seek support from a medical professional.