This podcast is a continuation and follow-up from a recent episode and it extends the discussion about defending one's position in human interaction.  Dr. Shaw cites an example from her own life wherein she could have been argumentative and defensive, but because she is aware of NOT defending her position and to actually observe and understand what could be seen as an opposing point of view, she actually ends up learning from the situation.   Energy is not wasted in this scenario on a discussion of what's right or wrong as it doesn't matter what's right and wrong... what matter is having the ability to see the situation through the eyes of another person and to learn and grow from that observation and from the compromise it might inspire.  It's a difficult instinct and a muscle that must be developed, but it can be an extremely helpful for children who can only gain by seeing all sides of a situation.