S01E066 Season One: Mexico Season Finale - SG x Bianca Allen

I left Mexico two days ago. I recorded this while watching my final sunset with the person I spoke to most during my five months of isolation in Careyes. Bianca and I dated a while ago but reconnected when I was sick earlier this year, because she was always good to me when I was sick. In general, I get really annoyed talking to a lot of people for this time in my life, because there's all of this attachment put on me that I'm no longer ok with. I left what I saw as my world or the world a few years ago, and have insulated myself to do the work I felt I needed to do, and only let in certain people who fit into that energy. My birthday is Saturday (August 1st, obviously you already know this), and I'm not only physically returned to the world (back in NYC), but I'll be releasing everything I've been working on now, marking my return in that sense. What I realized was that I didn't want to live any longer without building my own universe. I didn't want to have conversations with people dictated by the rules and conventions set by others. As goes with artistic form, one cannot just tell another how one wants things to be, one must build it and transfer the understanding in a more powerful and nuanced way. So I removed myself until I could do that, and now I can. The music, the clothes, the films, the show, everything is coming out now. And I can talk to people again, because I'm building this world around me and through me that works on terms I'm ok with. Bianca helped a lot with that in so many ways. So talking the last few months through with her felt like the perfect way to end this. Next will be Season Two: NYC!!!

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