TBTL- Too Beautiful to Live artwork

TBTL- Too Beautiful to Live

1,446 episodes - English - Latest episode: 12 months ago - ★★★★★ - 2.2K ratings

TBTL (Too Beautiful to Live) is a daily weekday podcast from Luke Burbank and co-host/producer Andrew Walsh. It is about life, current events, popular culture, puttering, serial boat ownership, and Tonight Pants. Hotline: (206) 414-8285.

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Episodes

No Point Conversion Week 1: The Old Ball And Text Chain

September 13, 2022 21:44 - 1 hour - 28.7 MB

Luke and Andrew celebrate the Seahawks’ surprising win over Russell Wilson and the Broncos, but first they have some things to hash out regarding their sports-related text chain. 

#3770 I Like Bike

September 13, 2022 21:13 - 1 hour - 38.5 MB

Andrew discovered something yesterday that some folks might already know about: Bicycles. Plus, a grocery store has decided to retire its “scan and go” concept because customers were “going” without “scanning.”

#3769 Scraping Off The Barcode On The Scratch Ticket Of Life

September 12, 2022 21:00 - 1 hour - 39.9 MB

Will Seahawks fans boo Russell Wilson when he returns to Seattle tonight? Luke has some theories. He and Andrew also have a lot of thoughts about microphones and microphone placement. Like, a LOT!

#3768 Stop Or My Squirrel Will Sploot!

September 09, 2022 18:38 - 1 hour - 39.6 MB

Luke and Andrew discuss the death of Queen Elizabeth the only way they know how: By getting every fact about the monarchy and British history wrong. Plus, if you see a splooting squirrel, just leave it alone!

#3767 My Tea Is In The Basement

September 08, 2022 18:29 - 1 hour - 38.5 MB

Luke and Andrew discuss Jerry Seinfeld’s fashion shoot, the “Nirvana Baby’s” lawsuit, and their ongoing attempts to avoid crying in public places. Plus, Andrew finally speaks out on a viral video that everyone sent him last week.

#3766 Shootin’ Crete!

September 07, 2022 20:49 - 1 hour - 30.7 MB

Luke has an entire work crew at his house today, pouring a new concrete floor, and he’s trying to dress the part. He and Andrew also bracing themselves for the new football season that begins this week. Oh, and Luke has some questions about the huge bug bite rash on his leg, and Dr. Andrew has some answers.

#3765 Aggressively Passive

September 06, 2022 20:32 - 1 hour - 41.2 MB

Two veteran baseball broadcasters spent a great deal of time discussing Wordle during a recent ballgame, and Luke and Andrew absolutely love it. 

#3764 Alpha Mail

September 05, 2022 19:44 - 54 minutes - 25 MB

Luke and Andrew open up the ol’ (well, actually newish) TBTL P.O.box to find out what the Tens of Listeners have sent in.

#3763 Les Is More

September 02, 2022 20:22 - 1 hour - 30.5 MB

Luke reports on two incidents of amazing customer service from the same NW tire chain. Plus, people in Canada can’t seem to stop accidentally eating bugs on television.  Photo by mbtrama on Flickr via Creative Commons license

#3762 A Casual Death Grip

September 01, 2022 20:38 - 1 hour - 36.6 MB

Luke thinks it's odd that so many people are celebrating the end of Leonardo DiCaprio’s relationship. Meanwhile, Andrew still can’t tell the difference between Leo and Matt Damon for some reason? Plus, France is using robots to nab people with off-the-books pools in their backyards.

#3761 Ethy Come, Ethy Go

August 31, 2022 20:20 - 1 hour - 45.5 MB

Luke is ready to make some real changes in his life, and Andrew thinks he should start with a Battery Daddy. Plus, a crypto company accidentally sent a woman a million bucks, and now they want it back.

#3760 The Tolerable Twos

August 30, 2022 20:39 - 1 hour - 40 MB

There’s a lot of news coming out of Detroit these days, including the re-opening of a slide that is bruising the heck out of people. HBO’s Hard Knocks is documenting the Detroit Lions’ preseason, leaving Luke and Andrew to try to figure out what the heck their coach is trying to say as he pumps-up his team.

#3759 Conceited Caveats

August 29, 2022 20:49 - 2 hours - 56.6 MB

Luke spent the past two weeks building scissor trusses, digging concrete trenches and inventing something he’s calling “Cat Camping.” Meanwhile, Andrew has a visitor staying with him for a couple of weeks, and that visitor keeps crawling up his legs while he tries to record TBTL. 

#3758 Paul Malls

August 26, 2022 18:32 - 58 minutes - 26.8 MB

Luke and Andrew reminisce over their experiences with murder mystery parties, escape rooms, and the game of Clue. Plus, listener Susan tests Andrew’s knowledge of St. Paul, MN, as the 2022 TBTL Summer Games come to a close. 

#3757 It’s A Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad Quiz

August 25, 2022 20:12 - 55 minutes - 25.5 MB

Andrew recalls a time when a trip to a downtown diner changed the course of his life. Maybe. Plus, Bill in Toronto put together a quiz for Luke challenging his knowledge of Mad Magazine movie spoofs.

#3756 A Low Tolerance For Horseplay

August 24, 2022 20:47 - 46 minutes - 21.5 MB

Andrew found a bunch of old Mariners baseball cards from the early ‘90s at a garage sale, and he asks Luke to give him the backstory on some of the players. Plus TBTL’s “Perfect Daddy” has a quiz for Luke to see how well he remembers former TBTL guests.

#3755 Menu? I Hardly Chew You!

August 23, 2022 18:58 - 45 minutes - 21 MB

Andrew accidentally orders a pizza from a very unusual source, and now that he knows where it came from, he might be a changed man. He and Luke also test their knowledge of fast food menu items with a flavor-blasted quiz from listener Mike!

#3754 Et Tu, Dummy?

August 22, 2022 18:26 - 32 minutes - 15 MB

Luke is wielding a concrete saw this week, so look out! Plus, his garage renovation project leads Andrew to realize he has some structural issues of his own. And the TBTL Summer Games continue with a quiz that seriously challenges Andrew’s knowledge of Latin phrases. 

#3753 A Come-to-Desus Moment

August 19, 2022 18:20 - 42 minutes - 19.4 MB

Luke and Andrew consider their own future now that podcasting’s *other* famous duo has broken up. They also find out how much Luke knows about America’s ballparks as the TBTL Summer Games continue!

#3752 Sliding Into Your DSMs

August 18, 2022 18:30 - 43 minutes - 19.9 MB

Therapist and TBTL Friendo Kirk Honda returns to the show for Day 4 of the TBTL Summer Games, in which we finally find out if Luke is ready to “open the doors of perception and get his Lizard King on.”

#3751 All Kirk And No Play

August 17, 2022 19:04 - 40 minutes - 18.5 MB

Family therapist and TBTL Ten Dr. Kirk Honda joins the show to quiz Luke and Andrew and get a sense of their mental health. And Luke reminisces about the time he stormed out of couples therapy to prove a point. (Unfortunately, it was the wrong point.) 

#3750 Raising Its Dougly Head

August 16, 2022 19:13 - 45 minutes - 20.7 MB

Andrew stumbles on a historic artifact that finally answers the question, “Do computers like gum?” Meanwhile, Luke has “a lot to say about Barry Corbin.” Then the 2022 TBTL Summer Games continue with a handcrafted quiz challenging Luke and Andrew’s spelling skills.

#3749 Never Settle For Catan

August 15, 2022 18:45 - 38 minutes - 17.5 MB

The TBTL Summer Games begin with a Summer Sound Quiz from Reverend Chris! Can Luke and Andrew identify a popular, trademarked brand using only their ears? There’s only one way to find out! (It’s by listening to this episode. That’s the only way.)

#3748 Cigarette Aficionado

August 12, 2022 20:21 - 1 hour - 45.1 MB

Luke drops by the studios of Walsh, Walsh, and Doormat for a rare in-person installment of What’s In The Box, where he and Andrew open letters and packages sent to the TBTL PO Box.

#3747 Where Everybody Lowe’s Your Name

August 11, 2022 21:08 - 1 hour - 40.5 MB

Luke had his first run-in with Stinking Willy yesterday, and he learned a few lessons. Meanwhile, Andrew picks a fight with the internet’s favorite child. And Luke has a correction to make…but not an apology!

#3746 Exactly One Hour(ish)

August 10, 2022 20:30 - 1 hour - 36.2 MB

Luke and Andrew debate the advantages and disadvantages of duvets versus bedspreads, then they move on to discuss yesterday’s historic Mariner’s game. Plus, a listener’s adventures at Lowe’s teaches us all a valuable lesson. It’s just unclear what that lesson is.

#3745 The *Idea* Of A Toilet

August 09, 2022 21:13 - 1 hour - 35.9 MB

Luke goes full Rear Window as he watches dog poop drama unfold in the neighborhood outside his window. Plus, a cringy TikTok video/SNL audition tape draws the ire of the internet, which confuses Andrew, since everything is cringy to him. 

#3744 Manic Pixie Dream Zombie

August 08, 2022 20:46 - 1 hour - 37.3 MB

Tens of Listeners step-up to help Luke and Andrew remember some details of TBTL’s past. Plus, a French scientist sent out a funny tweet and now he’s forced to pretend he did it for some educational purpose.

#3743 TBTL Unexplained

August 05, 2022 17:00 - 1 hour - 33.1 MB

You’ve got questions, we have…answers? Sort of? Luke and Andrew go through letters from listeners who want to know the origins of jokes, audio drops, and other references regularly heard on TBTL

#3742 God Don’t Make No Junk Bonds

August 04, 2022 19:54 - 1 hour - 30.9 MB

Andrew has been eating a lot of bologna lately, and no matter how hard he tries to avoid the topic, Luke insists on hearing the details. Luke also recalls the day he broke out of his own bedroom and got his socks all wet.

#3741 Macho Macho Dad

August 03, 2022 20:02 - 1 hour - 28.2 MB

Luke reveals more details about his childhood dresser, which contained illicit football stickers and the rough-hewn lyrics of an ‘80’s banger. He and Andrew also pay respects to Vin Scully and revel in the latest word salad from the Detroit Lions’ head coach.

#3740 Dill With It

August 02, 2022 20:28 - 1 hour - 30.7 MB

Pickle flavoring is really having a moment, but pickle-loving Luke isn’t into it. He and Andrew also discuss the best and worst tools on a Swiss Army Knife.

#3739 Shut The #%&! Up Elmo

August 01, 2022 20:12 - 1 hour - 35.2 MB

TBTL Friendo and Fancy Hollywood Director Cat Solen hops on the show to explain why Muppets and puppets never break character on set. Plus, a big weekend project leaves Andrew more dim-witted than usual on a Monday. And Luke tries to figure out the difference between wingdings and webdings.

#3738 I Approve This Massage

July 29, 2022 19:43 - 1 hour - 36 MB

Luke immediately regrets his decision to sit in a massage chair in the middle of the Bismarck airport, although he did make a new friend while being publicly gyrated. Plus, a chain of chicken restaurants bought $100,000 worth of Mega Millions lottery tickets and intends to share the potential winnings with its employees.

#3737 And You Don’t Believe In A Mark?

July 28, 2022 18:20 - 1 hour - 29.1 MB

Luke has a moral conundrum regarding his rental car in Bismarck, ND, and he reluctantly asks Andrew for advice. Plus, people in France are freaking out over a mustard shortage. And something peculiar has caught Luke’s eye in a video of Julia Louis-Dreyfus on the set of Sesame Street.

#3736 Will It Dunc?

July 27, 2022 19:31 - 1 hour - 35.5 MB

Luke joins the show from the Olive Garden District of Bismarck, ND, where he’s been unironically enjoying the bottomless breadsticks and salad. Plus, Andrew has a few things he needs to clear up about yesterday’s “What’s In The Box” segment. Meanwhile, the nation is in mourning over the death of the Choco Taco.

#3735 Big Beautiful Books

July 26, 2022 18:27 - 1 hour - 35.6 MB

Luke joins the show from Bismarck, ND, where he’s learning the lay of the land. Meanwhile, Andrew made his first trip to the new TBTL PO Box and found it overflowing with correspondence from Tens of Listeners.

#3734 TBTL: Back In Caption

July 25, 2022 19:46 - 1 hour - 33.4 MB

Andrew is upset that his submission to the New Yorker cartoon caption contest didn’t win after seeing the finalists. Speaking of the New Yorker, Luke is fascinated by a piece about the VW minibus, which was apparently somewhat inspired by something called “The Chicken Wars.”  Photo of VW minibus by OrangeChallenger, licensed under Creative Commons.

#3733 Tom’s Of Mayonnaise

July 22, 2022 20:09 - 1 hour - 36.5 MB

Luke does something really, really terrible during the show involving [trigger warning] coffee and mayonnaise. Plus, Dr. Oz’s social media team continues to get completely roasted by his opponent’s campaign. And Andrew tries to tackle the age-old question: What’s worse, listening to someone talk about their dreams or listening to someone talk about their fantasy baseball team? 

#3732 Rex In Effect

July 21, 2022 20:10 - 1 hour - 33.7 MB

Luke has introduced spray bottles into his relationship with his cat, and it’s changed everything. Plus, a woman earned a job interview after responding to a rejection letter with a goofy meme.

#3731 Well Behaved Kittens Rarely Make History

July 20, 2022 19:23 - 1 hour - 34.7 MB

Andrew is working to change the way he talks to his cat -- and all pets in general. Plus, a minor league baseball GM gets a prostate exam while singing “Take Me Out To The Ballgame”, although it’s not entirely clear why. And Luke and Andrew try to figure out why they are completely uninterested in the Game of Thrones sequel.

#3730 Schrödinger's Camera

July 19, 2022 20:30 - 1 hour - 36.9 MB

Luke has thoughts on the new, buzzy Nathan Fielder show, The Rehearsal. He and Andrew also come up with a new segment idea for TBTL.

#3729 Morgan A Feeling

July 18, 2022 20:19 - 1 hour - 38.3 MB

Luke just got back from Austin, where he gathered with friends to pay tribute to the late, great Drew McFrizz. Meanwhile, Andrew was almost denied an opportunity to clean a big mess in peace. Plus, something very interesting happened at an Omaha airport over the weekend. 

#3728 The Deal Hunter

July 15, 2022 19:51 - 1 hour - 36.4 MB

The CEO of Costco has made it clear that the store will NOT be raising prices on its cheap hot dogs, even if it is a money-losing venture. This gives Andrew the opportunity to ask Luke a very important question about the way he consumes soda pop. 

#3727 Chart Of Escalation

July 14, 2022 21:43 - 1 hour - 31.8 MB

Andrew learns something shocking about his own past. And an article in the New York Times helps Luke understand how he became a pathological liar (JUST KIDDING).

#3726 What A Kroc

July 13, 2022 20:22 - 1 hour - 42.1 MB

Luke runs into some problems in his quest to reprint an Andre The Giant photo, and it’s making Andrew feeling a little panicky. They also talk about the time Ray Kroc commandeered a stadium PA system to call his own ballplayers “stupid.” And Andrew accidentally entered a humor contest while on the toilet.

#3725 P.O.d-à-Terre

July 12, 2022 20:21 - 1 hour - 31.2 MB

Luke returns to the bar that has his favorite, mysterious Andre The Giant photo hanging on the wall, and he asks the owner if he can borrow it. Plus, a stolen Olympic medal is discovered in an old McDonald’s bag. And Andrew is excited that TBTL finally has a P.O. Box!

#3724 There’s A Right Way To Rock And A Wrong Way To Rigmarole

July 11, 2022 21:05 - 1 hour - 38.9 MB

Luke has finally found true happiness, and he has video to prove it. Plus, a listener sheds some important light on Luke’s recent adventures at The Home Depot. And a drunk newscaster gives it her all in Albany.

#3723 A Work Of Dart

July 08, 2022 20:21 - 1 hour - 37.6 MB

Luke joins the show from Port Townsend, where he’s falling in love with the small maritime village all over again. Meanwhile, Andrew (and his camera) got teased on the bus recently. And two Oregon cities are battling over a claim to “the world’s smallest park.”

#3722 Mayo Culpa

July 07, 2022 18:40 - 1 hour - 34.4 MB

Andrew does some old-fashioned, shoe-leather reporting at his local Subway shop to find out what’s really going on with the restaurant’s menu changes. He and Luke also offer a somewhat delayed review of No Country For Old Men. And they discuss the rise of “GentleMinions”, who are disrupting screenings of the new Minions movie. 

Guests

Nora McInerny
4 Episodes
Ken Jennings
3 Episodes
Chris Gethard
2 Episodes
Hari Kondabolu
2 Episodes
Bob Newhart
1 Episode
John Hodgman
1 Episode

Books

Thicker Than Water
1 Episode

Twitter Mentions

@chrisfluming 1 Episode
@maxandivan 1 Episode
@rachelwenitsky 1 Episode
@nickciarelli 1 Episode