Stuff You Should Know About Therapy
65 episodes - English - Latest episode: over 3 years ago - ★★★★ - 15 ratingsHave you ever wondered what it's like going to therapy? Have you thought about going but are afraid of the stigma around therapy? Do you know someone who goes to therapy, but unsure if you should go? This podcast takes you on a journey of what therapy is like, what is typically talked about, and why going to therapy is amazing! Join Matthew, a Marriage and Family Therapist, as he discusses the ins and outs of the therapeutic process, while dispelling some of the myths and rumors of therapy.
*NOTE* this is NOT intended to be a one stop shop for personal therapy. I encourage everyone to seek local professional help. Stories that are used in this podcast have been altered to protect client confidentially.
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Episodes
Are We What's Wrong With The Relationship?
October 25, 2020 07:00 - 9 minutes - 13 MBIf you want to learn to have a successful relationship, you need to start taking responsibility for everything. You can only control what you do, not what anyone else does — not even your romantic partner. Support this podcast
7 Habits of Successful Relationships
October 21, 2020 07:00 - 12 minutes - 16.8 MBRemember: good relationships don’t fall out of the sky. Good relationships require growth, work, and change. Here are just 7 habits of a successful relationship. Support this podcast
3 Rules For Long Term Dating
October 18, 2020 07:00 - 8 minutes - 11.8 MBWe need to reward hard discussions, not punish them; we need to value our honesty over our partner’s comfort; and we need to remind ourselves that “easy” is not the goal. The goal is depth. Support this podcast
Trust & Vulnerability
October 14, 2020 07:00 - 9 minutes - 12.5 MBA trusting relationship is not something you find fully formed in a perfect Tinder profile just a few more swipes away. Trust is something you build with a person who is roughly in the same spot on their journey in life as you are. Support this podcast
Never Stop Trying
October 11, 2020 07:00 - 10 minutes - 14.7 MBIn order to find someone to partner with us, we have to do the work to make ourselves whole, on our own. Only then can we partake in a healthy, lasting relationship. Support this podcast
Why Dating Apps Don't Make Finding Love Easier
October 07, 2020 07:00 - 10 minutes - 14.9 MBThere are hundreds of apps for every sort of person. You can even filter for all the qualities you are looking for, down to the color of someone’s hair. More and more individuals are using these apps, and they are more advanced than ever. We should all be happily dating, right? Support this podcast
Letting Go Of Shame
September 30, 2020 07:00 - 7 minutes - 10.6 MBMany times in life, the shame that we carry with us isn’t even our own. It is the shame of others projected onto us. In order to let go of this, we have to recognize what is ours and what isn’t Support this podcast
Vulnerability Is Not A Weakness
September 27, 2020 07:00 - 9 minutes - 12.8 MBVulnerability is one of the paradoxical aspects of life, values, and character. By showing our weakness, we prove ourselves strong. Only a strong person would show weakness, right? That’s why vulnerability is so powerful. Support this podcast
Knock Out Shame
September 23, 2020 07:00 - 11 minutes - 16.5 MBShame is an indicator that we are out of alignment with our deeply held values, whether we realize it or not. This may sound like a simple fix, but it can take months, years, and is really the work of a lifetime. Support this podcast
Help Reduce Shame
September 20, 2020 07:00 - 9 minutes - 12.8 MBIn order to really open up to someone about shame, we have to feel 2 things: 1) Feel like we are being heard 2) Feel like we are not being judged. Support this podcast
The Source of Shame
September 16, 2020 07:00 - 9 minutes - 13.2 MBOften the source of shame is deeply buried in our past. Long ago, when we were dependent children or teens, something hit us emotionally and left us feeling afraid, inferior, or feeling like we are not enough. Support this podcast
Shame & Gratitude
September 06, 2020 07:00 - 9 minutes - 13.3 MBShame and gratitude can’t be held in your mind at the same time. If you don’t believe me, try it! If you feel like you can’t feel grateful right now, I would say that gratitude is one of the emotions that you can train yourself to feel. Support this podcast
Dealing With Shame
September 02, 2020 07:00 - 9 minutes - 13.3 MBShame can be a central problem in our lives without us even knowing it. Are you having trouble at work, or do you struggle in a relationship, or are you cycling wildly between self-love and self-hatred? That could all be unaddressed shame. Let’s look at how we can tell and what we can do if we think that is what we are dealing with. Support this podcast
Dreams & Goals
August 30, 2020 07:00 - 10 minutes - 14 MBGet your sexual fears behind you! And I don’t mean forget about them, I mean stop letting them get in the way of the life you want to live. How do we do that? By writing down and verbalizing our fears and goals. Support this podcast
Falling In Love Too Quickly
August 26, 2020 07:00 - 9 minutes - 13.3 MBFor some of us, love can be like a drug. Unlike other drugs, we can’t live without love. Abstinence is not an option, then. How do we live with love in a sober way? Support this podcast
Using Tinder In A Healthy Way
August 23, 2020 07:00 - 11 minutes - 16.2 MBWhile tinder can be a place of really unhealthy dating habits, with the right outlook, it can be done very well and can lead you to healthy, lasting love. Let’s look at the common pitfalls, how to avoid them, and at the things to do instead. Support this podcast
Loving Feelings
August 19, 2020 07:00 - 10 minutes - 13.9 MBLove is not always a sexual feeling, and sexual feelings are not always about love. Support this podcast
Unwanted Thoughts
August 16, 2020 07:00 - 11 minutes - 15.5 MBDo you have thoughts that you are not proud of? Guess what? You’re human and that’s completely normal. The issue arises when we decide we have a problem with ourselves. We think we are somehow a bad person because we had an unwanted thought. Support this podcast
Informal Discussion
July 29, 2020 07:00 - 1 hour - 107 MBOn this special episode, we take a detour of the normal format and have an informal discussion with myself and with Taylor Foreman, head writer for the podcast! Support this podcast
Self Confidence In Our Sexuality
July 26, 2020 07:00 - 12 minutes - 17 MBIf our goal is to stay with our current partner, be it marriage or just a commitment to each other, then we need to work on our self-image. This is not a trivial matter, either. We need to get brutally honest about whether all of us; I mean everything that makes us, us; is in it for the long-run. Support this podcast
Sex & Communication
July 22, 2020 07:00 - 12 minutes - 17.1 MBWhat are our values? Because some people don’t know, and if we aren’t clear about them, they can easily slip to something like “power” or “control.” Support this podcast
Getting On The Same Page About Sex
July 19, 2020 07:00 - 13 minutes - 17.9 MBTalking about how the sex isn’t good doesn’t mean you’re not meant to be. It just means you need to work on the sex life! Everything that is mentionable is manageable. Mention it. Manage it. Support this podcast
Sex Without Love
July 15, 2020 07:00 - 12 minutes - 17.2 MBSex and love are different things, obviously. However, we all have a notion in our heads that they should be together. Or maybe we rebelled from that idea and think that sex is perfectly fine without love. I’m not here to make a moral claim either way, but let’s talk about why we have the inclination that they should be linked together. Is there any validity to that? Support this podcast
Positive Effects Of Sex
July 12, 2020 07:00 - 14 minutes - 20.4 MBSex and love are tied together as one is the expression of the other. Yes, you can have sex without love, but it is like dancing without music--weird, awkward, and no one enjoys it. Support this podcast
Sexpectations
July 08, 2020 07:00 - 12 minutes - 17.1 MBSex isn’t meant to be a performance. There are no grades. In fact, the more honest we can be to ourselves, the more sex will feel like real and intimate connection! Support this podcast
Sex and Shame
July 05, 2020 07:00 - 10 minutes - 13.8 MBWhen we come from a place of security and joy, not out of obligation or resentment, we want to make our partner feel good, and vice versa. Support this podcast
Why we need to talk about sex
July 01, 2020 07:00 - 12 minutes - 16.7 MBWe have to know what our desires really are before we can find healthy ways to express them, and in order to do that, we have to look closely at the shame that keeps our desires hidden from us. Support this podcast
Embrace Self Care
June 28, 2020 07:00 - 8 minutes - 11.2 MBThis self care journey never ends. It isn’t a game that we can win and stop playing. It is a river that goes on and on, some wins, some losses. We should embrace the journey of self-care as truly never-ending, and stop waiting for the day we will be “fixed.” Support this podcast
Self Care Rituals
June 24, 2020 07:00 - 11 minutes - 16.2 MBIf you are lost in the darkness now, I want to say that it can get better. And sometimes it looks like big epiphanies and breakthroughs, but mostly it looks like doing just a tiny bit better every day. If you couldn’t get out of bed yesterday, and today you got up and made yourself coffee, you are a winner in my book. You only have yourself to make proud, and I hope you do. I hope we can all stop comparing ourselves to others so much, because we should never compare someone’s highlight reel t...
Self Care Can Benefit Others
June 21, 2020 07:00 - 10 minutes - 14.8 MBGiving ourselves time for self-care, benefits not only our friends and family, but every single person we come in contact with, and every person they come in contact with. When we do it, know we are performing a radical good! Support this podcast
Plan Self Care
June 17, 2020 07:00 - 10 minutes - 15 MBI should rest when I feel like resting! Doing things out of obligation is only going to breed resentment and low self-esteem. When we deny the signals in our bodies to some outside force, our subconscious mind internalizes it. It tells us that other people’s wants and goals are more important than me and what I want. Support this podcast
Being Your Own Top Priority
June 14, 2020 07:00 - 10 minutes - 14.7 MBWe can't draw from an empty well. A lot of people see their wells as empty and, in a panic, try to drink from everyone else’s well. It can be an act of compassion to give these people water, it is an even greater act of compassion to show these people that their own well can always be refilled. Support this podcast
Prioritizing Self Care
June 10, 2020 07:00 - 14 minutes - 20.1 MBIf we always prioritize what is urgent over what is important, then we will create a life that is a never ending rat race. If we always accept being rushed, then people will feel emboldened to rush us even more and rush us next time. Set a boundary! Kids love boundaries, and so do adults. When people know where our boundaries are, they respect us even more, and we will feel our lives filling up with what is important, and not what is urgent. Support this podcast
Magnifying Self Care
June 07, 2020 07:00 - 12 minutes - 17.4 MBSelf-care, or lack thereof, is either a virtuous cycle, or a vicious one. It’s hard to state how important self-care is, and how valuable compounding effort is and how devastating downward spirals can be. Support this podcast
Self Care
June 03, 2020 07:00 - 12 minutes - 17.8 MBThe unglamorous truth about self-care is that it is a whole lot like brushing your teeth. While often not the most exciting thing, it can become something done automatically if we set ourselves up properly. Unlike brushing our teeth, self-care is going to look a little different for everyone. Support this podcast
Personal Values
May 31, 2020 07:00 - 13 minutes - 18.6 MBBONUS EPISODE: What are your personal values? Support this podcast
Healing Grief
May 27, 2020 07:00 - 13 minutes - 17.9 MBI want to talk about expectations of healing and how they can make a whole new set of problems. If you scar a tree, the scar never goes away or even gets smaller, the tree just gets bigger. That’s what we have to do--grow, and get bigger than our scars. Support this podcast
Making Meaning Out Of Grief
May 24, 2020 07:00 - 14 minutes - 19.5 MBI want to talk about making meaning out of grief. As we begin to talk about normal life, or getting used to what might be a new normal, we naturally want to begin to place these events into a place in our minds. Where we place it is the meaning we give it. While we can’t control what happens to us, we can--at least partially--control how we take meaning from the events of our lives. Support this podcast
The Positive Side Of Grief
May 20, 2020 07:00 - 13 minutes - 19.2 MBJoy will come back to all of us in ways that we can’t currently imagine. It might be hard to believe, but one day we will look back on this time and be grateful for it, because we will know that it will have shaped how we will have turned out. When we experience loss, we are making room for the next thing to enter our world. The only way that it won’t come into our life, is if we won’t let go of what used to be. Support this podcast
Sharing Grief With Others
May 17, 2020 07:00 - 13 minutes - 18.4 MBSharing what hurts us with people we trust is often the very best way to grow. There is strength in vulnerability, as difficult as that is to see at times. It actually takes more strength to sit quietly with someone without trying to fix them. The way we share our grief, and deal with it when it is shared with us, are some of the most important moments in our lives. Support this podcast
Our New Normal
May 13, 2020 07:00 - 14 minutes - 20 MBThe world is slowly beginning to open again, and some of us will be returning to old patterns in bits and pieces. Change is always hard, even if it is the change that you were hoping for. Some of us are beginning to face the realities of our new situations, economic or otherwise, and I want to remind everyone to process and feel. Don’t brush past your emotions, because they always find a way out. Support this podcast
Short Term & Long Term Coping
May 10, 2020 07:00 - 14 minutes - 19.3 MBToday we are going to dive into coping skills, and how they help us in the short term and in the long term. Both methods have their place in our lives, and the key to overcoming grief is knowing how and when to use each of them. Ultimately, as we will see, having a long-term mindset when it comes to grief, along with almost anything in life, is the fastest way to recovery. Support this podcast
5 Stages of Grief
May 06, 2020 07:00 - 14 minutes - 19.3 MBI want to do a more practical overview of the 5 stages of grief, as they are commonly understood, so that we can have a better grasp of what to expect as grief unfolds. While not all stages will always manifest (sometimes quickly or subconsciously), it can be a good tool and guide to understanding how you or your loved ones are unfolding in their reactions to trauma. Support this podcast
What Is Grief?
May 03, 2020 07:00 - 13 minutes - 18.3 MBGrief is the experience of loss. A lot of times when we think of grief, we think of the loss of a loved one. While that is common, and a lot of us might be dealing with that very thing, it can also be the loss of a job, a role in life, a time in our lives (like college) or anything that comes to an end. Since everything in life comes to an end, grief is an inescapable part of life. Support this podcast
Coping Skills
April 29, 2020 07:00 - 14 minutes - 20 MBOur focus for today, which is coping. As fear and panic melt into monotony and new routines, it is important that we set ourselves up to deal with more subtle versions of stress; such as household tension, boredom, loneliness, guilt, and even being triggered into depression, or having our depression worsen. There are tested and proven ways to help us avoid the worst of these more negative feelings, and I want to talk about some of them and how to most easily incorporate them into our lives. ...
Living With Trauma
April 26, 2020 07:00 - 12 minutes - 17.4 MBA lot of the country has been asked to stay indoors and to practice social distancing and there is a lot of uncertainty. I hope this podcast can service as a voice in the dark or just comforting sense of normalcy during all of this. Today we're going to be talking about collective trauma. It's a unique time, a historic time, in which we're all experiencing the same disruption. I want to talk about how every tragedy is an opportunity for beauty and strength. Collective trauma gives us an espec...
Universal Stress
April 22, 2020 07:00 - 11 minutes - 16.2 MBI want to dive more into stress and how we all have stress in our lives. Stress isn’t something to get rid of or be angry at; in fact, that will only tighten its hold on your life. The purpose of stress for all of us is to keep us away from danger and make sure that we are safe. It comes out differently for everyone, and learning to recognize the way it manifests in you can be the different between suffering from too much stress, or letting an occasional bout of stress inform you. Let’s talk ...
Empathy In Healing Trauma
April 19, 2020 07:00 - 13 minutes - 12.4 MBI want to talk about how to deal with trauma when it comes to sharing it with other people. I will discuss what the differences between empathy and sympathy are, what it takes to share with others--trust and courage--and how that relates to understanding, but not necessarily agreeing. It’s not about fixing people, or having others try to fix us, rather it’s about having someone be there and be present as we work through these things on our own. Some of the greatest healing can happen almost o...
Managing Stress & Anxiety
April 15, 2020 07:00 - 14 minutes - 20.4 MBToday I want to talk about things that can trigger our stress and what we can do to recognize it, and how to deal with it. Often our stress triggers go totally unnoticed, and being mindful of them is the first and biggest step in making sure that stress does not dominate our days and lives. Support this podcast
Healthy Ways To Work Through Trauma
April 12, 2020 07:00 - 11 minutes - 15.4 MBI'd like to talk this week about healthy ways to cope with and work through our trauma. As I mentioned last week everyone experiences trauma differently, so naturally, everyone heals differently. Because of this, there is no one right way to heal from and overcome trauma. Rather, what is important is that we do heal. Support this podcast