30 - Life Hacks to Maximize Family Impact (with Ben & Mary Craft)

My guests in this episode are old friends of mine and people that I admire so much, Ben and Mary Craft. We've known each other for a long time but our families have been able to spend time together these last few months and it's just been really cool to reconnect with them. Ben and Mary are an awesome example of parents that are strategically raising a family that honors Christ. They're really are incredible people, but at the same time they're ordinary people like me and you. And they're just faithful parents who are in the thick of it with us trying to raise our kids to know Christ, to love Christ, and to be on mission for Christ. Ben and Mary are also just really practical, and you'll hear that in a lot of what they share during this interview. Our main topic today is how we can systematize things in our family life -- the things that just have to get done -- to allow us to focus more of our time on important, long-term goals. So I really think you're going to be blessed by what they have to share with us.Topics we cover include:The value of putting routines in place.How the Crafts came to a challenging season, where they felt busy and starting having decision fatigue.How they started to look at the things that take a lot of mental energy and "mental real estate" versus the things that are really important and Kingdom building.Having a plan for certain activities on days of the week, including meals (e.g., Mexican on Tuesdays) and thereby save the mental energy that would otherwise be needed to make a decisionJohn Maxwell: leaders don't kill time; they execute itRemember that you can't do everything at once.People (i.e., your kids) will perform to the level of your expectations.Allow your kids to struggle and learn grit and perseverance and give them an opportunity to get it wrong.What to prioritize starts with your core values as a family, as this will tell you where you need to spend your time.Tasks can be systematized, but relationships can't be systematized. But systematizing tasks allows you to do the more important things.You can't do what you want to do until you do what you need to do first.Sunday night board meetings and thinking through each kid indivudally.Ben & Mary prioritized Ben spending time with the girls -- the first Friday of the month, he spends 1-on-1 with one of his 3 daughters on a date night and how special they have been for the girls. This is huge because it allows the girls to enjoy the anticipation of it.Mary spent "Mommy-time" with her girls when they were young and they all loved it. It wasn't needed forever but was hugely beneficial when they were young.Our systems are based on our family core values.Get on the same page on systems as husband & wife and then communicate that to your kids.We provide our kids with the agency to get stuff done.Systematizing allows us to spend more time on the things that are important -- ministry to others.It takes a while to build a habit; but once you get rolling, some things become automatic.The way things are now are not always as they're going to be.Try, fail and adjust -- good rhythm.If you're feeling depressed or sad, get outside of yourself and serve and bless someone else. (Editor's note: what a wonderful idea!!!)Focusing only on your kids creates an unstable environment.Everything intentional requires margin.Kids get their self-image from the words we say to them; they get their values from what they see us spend our times doing.Soak up all of the wisdom from your elders that you can! It is our job to pass along the legacy faith to our children -- it's our job.We must build into our marriages; one day our kids will be gone. It must be #2 beside our relationship with Christ.Intergenerational worship is most consistently linked to spiritual maturity in college. Nowadays we have segregated people too much by age and we need with the wisdom of older people.Older people tell us to worry less about what other people think.Keep your eyes on Christ,