Rockula - Maybe don't turn into a bat, Ralphie

Dean Cameron is a vampire who doesn't bite people but has to relive the death of his beloved Moana who is killed every 22 years by a pirate wielding a ham-bone. But not this year, buster!

"Rockula" is an absolute blast from the past that's so bad, it's fantastic! This 1990 gem takes the term 'cult classic' to a whole new level. Let's start with the music – it's so gloriously terrible that it somehow becomes insanely catchy. The tunes are like a guilty pleasure you can't help but hum along to, despite their wonderfully cheesy lyrics and over-the-top '80s vibe.

The music videos? Oh boy, they're a whole different spectacle! They're wonderfully goofy, with a delightful mix of tacky special effects and absurd dance sequences that are impossible not to love. They're so hilariously bad that they loop back around to being enjoyable.

Now, let's talk Tawny Fere – she's undeniably smoking hot, but her singing? Bless her heart, she can't carry a tune for the afterlife. Yet, that's part of the movie's charm! Her lack of singing prowess somehow adds to the whole 'so bad it's good' allure. It's like watching a car crash in slow motion – you can't look away, and somehow you're smiling the whole time.

And the vampire bat! Goodness gracious, it's like a Halloween decoration come to life. The sheer goofiness of the vampire bat is just another reason to love this film. It's so hilariously unconvincing that it's endearing. You can't help but chuckle every time it makes an appearance.

"Rockula" is the kind of movie you watch with friends, armed with popcorn and ready to laugh at its glorious absurdity. It's a delightful time capsule of the '80s that's so wonderfully terrible, it transcends badness and becomes a delightful experience. If you're up for a dose of pure, unadulterated fun, "Rockula" is an absolute must-watch!