Standards of Beauty: A Fiercely Real ANTM Review
30 episodes - English - Latest episode: almost 3 years ago - ★★★★★ - 31 ratingsMinneapolis-based drag queens Sissy Tops and The Other Jeannie Retelle review every episode of the classic queer juggernaut, America's Next Top Model, starting with Cycle 1.
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Episodes
"The Girl Who Wins It All"
May 20, 2021 12:00 - 1 hour - 129 MBCYCLE 3 FINALE! This one is a doozy. Not because of the episode. We cover the plot for about 20 full minutes! The rest is just mess and laughing our asses off. Sorry not sorry. This is Standards of Beauty: A Fiercely Real America's Next Top Model Review.
"The Girl Who Didn't Hug Goodbye"
May 13, 2021 12:00 - 1 hour - 124 MBIt's Harajuku week and the girls are on a style journey they are most certainly not into. From the confusion in the styling challenge, to Ann's shitty attitude we are one episode away from wrapping up this Tokyo adventure. This is Standards of Beauty: A Fiercely Real America's Next Top Model Review.
"The Girl the Lionesses are Hunting"
May 06, 2021 12:00 - 1 hour - 128 MBAll Tea. No. Seriously. The models learn how to participate in a traditional tea ceremony and according to Norelle, "opening a sliding door in Japan takes five minutes". They also do a shoot for T Mobile with guidance from Tyra. One learns, the rest fumble. We'll let you guess who. This is Standards of Beauty: A Fiercely Real America's Next Top Model Review.
"The Girl Meets Taye Diggs"
April 29, 2021 12:00 - 1 hour - 142 MBTHE GIRLS MEET TAYE DIGGS. Do we need to say a whole lot more? I mean, they go to Japan which is cute. But Taye.....Diggs.....ugh. This is Standards of Beauty: A Fiercely Real America's Next Top Model Review.
"The Girl Who is Panic Stricken"
April 22, 2021 12:00 - 1 hour - 135 MBDo you know what a go see is? It's where you GO and SEE the designers who will potentially hire you. And if you don't remember, don't worry. Tyra and the rest of the ANTM fam will remind you during this whole episode. This is Standards of Beauty: A Fiercely Real America's Next Top Model Review.
"The Girl Who Forgot Her Shoes"
April 15, 2021 12:00 - 1 hour - 122 MBDo you know what a go see is? It's where you GO and SEE the designers who will potentially hire you. And if you don't remember, don't worry. Tyra and the rest of the ANTM fam will remind you during this whole episode. This is Standards of Beauty: A Fiercely Real America's Next Top Model Review.
"The Girl Who Mutilated the Precious Brownies"
April 08, 2021 12:00 - 1 hour - 118 MBNot her precious brownies! Anne leaves Cassie a note in her food, but we can't decide what is more nasty...low carb brownies, or Anne's attitude. This is Standards of Beauty: A Fiercely Real America's Next Top Model Review.
"The Girl Who Cries When She Looks In the Mirror"
April 01, 2021 12:00 - 1 hour - 146 MBWe finally get a light hearted episode y'all! Well, light hearted in comparison to the heavy shit in every other episodes so far this cycle. Come play with us! And remember, the order is inhale, shot, exhale.
"The Girl Who Sets A Trap"
March 25, 2021 11:00 - 1 hour - 140 MBDoes Amanda really set a trap? Or does she trap herself into looking like a fool? Let's get messy and talk some shit about Cycle 3 Episode 4. This is Standards of Beauty: A Fiercely Real America's Next Top Model Review.
"The Girl Everyone Thinks Is A Backstabber
March 18, 2021 14:00 - 1 hour - 136 MBThis week we join the models as they have THEIR MAKEOVERS AHHH!!! That's right, it's makeover week. Tears, laughs, attitudes, and diva-licious attitudes all around! We also see how mother Amanda may have some Mommy Dearest tendencies.... WHO will be eliminated...TONIGHT?
"The Girl Who is Codependent"
March 11, 2021 15:00 - 1 hour - 141 MBWe made it through casting of Cycle 3 and now it's time to dive in to the competition. Get ready folks. We have a stage 5 clinger on our hands.
"The Girl With A Secret"
March 04, 2021 15:00 - 1 hour - 162 MBWe are back, y'all... and since we're kicking off a new cycle, we have a fiercely real-sized episode! Over 30 top model hopefuls land in Los Angeles for semi-finals, but between late night bar fights and bathroom elimination breakdowns, the competition is whittled down to fourteen. There's no more Matrix sunglasses, but the pre-Karen haircut is in full effect.
"The Girl Who is America's Next Top Model"
February 12, 2021 07:09 - 1 hour - 140 MBThis week's drag tips include: how to get into your favorite celebrity's DMs. Meanwhile in Milan, the last three models have a final go-see with Dsquared2. Spoiler alert, Shanthrax doesn't make it. Then, Mercedes and Yoanna walk against each other in a final fashion show. And one of them is crowned America's Next Top Model.
"The Girl Who Cheated"
February 04, 2021 15:00 - 1 hour - 122 MBThis week, we get one of the most memorable moments from ANTM, of all time. While in Milan, Shandi cheats on her boyfriend and the phone call that results is... a glass case of emotion. The models pair off in a nude photo shoot, styled by Nolé Marin, but one of the girls oversteps her bounds.
"The Girl With the Signature Walk"
January 28, 2021 15:00 - 1 hour - 124 MBCW: eating disorders. This week is truly the best of times, and the worst of times. We get one of the most iconic lines in ANTM herstory. The model jet off to Milan and take part in go-sees, and pose in a high fashion sunglasses photoshoot. But it's at a dinner with Tyra where Camille accuses Yoanna, and the conversation heads south. gofundme for our sister Frozaen: https://gofund.me/108ddbea
"The Girl Who Is Dripping With Hypocrisy"
January 21, 2021 15:00 - 1 hour - 138 MBThis week, the girls take a dancing class, while Sissy & Jeannie entertain themselves for the better part of the episode. Then, the models' choreography is put to the test while they perform as background dancers for Tyra Banks's world premiere of her first single, "Shake Ya Body".
"The Girl Whose Lips Puffed Up"
January 14, 2021 15:00 - 1 hour - 123 MBThis week, Camille suffers from an allergic reaction, meanwhile the only thing Sissy & The Other Jeannie are suffering from is being too high. The models get some acting training from Tasha Smith, which they put to the test in an high-flying action commercial for Rollitos (RIP). At least no one on this cycle is terrified of heights, right?
"The Girl Who Is a Visual Orgasm"
January 07, 2021 15:00 - 1 hour - 143 MBWe're back like poltergeist, y'all! This week, the models open up about their personal backstories and they learn all about charisma. Then, they pose underwater for Quench and we meet Nolé Marin, and his Pomeranian Minnie! In judging, the women have to be pretend to be spokesmodels and it's... something.
"The Girl Who Needs Six Months of Modeling School"
December 24, 2020 15:00 - 1 hour - 145 MBOofta, this week is a doozy. Some of it old hat: Catie is still crying and Jenascia is still short. The models meet Simon Doonan and Betsey Johnson, but at the photoshoot this week, the remaining nine impersonate famous celebrities, and Xiomara is given Grace Jones. So this is our first impasse of Blackface in ANTM, and it’s rough to say the least. But at least Janice is having a great time.
"The Girl Who Can Cry At The Drop Of A Hat"
December 17, 2020 15:00 - 1 hour - 143 MBA lot of tears are shed this episode, y'all. Not by Sissy or Jeannie, thankfully, but by our Queen of Wilmar, Minnesota: Catie. This episode might as well be a Destiny's Child song, because it is a lot of emotions. First, she cries because it's the quintessential moment of every cycle: makeover week. And then again we get more tears because this week, it is one of the most the iconic photoshoots in ANTM herstory. The models are suspended hundreds of feet in the air, but it still doesn't make...
"The Girl Who Floats Like a Butterfly and Stings Like a Bee"
December 10, 2020 15:00 - 1 hour - 154 MBThe models get weighed in, while Sissy & Jeannie open up about their personal body journeys. Then, it's time for a lesson from Miss Jay on runway (featuring some particularly unflattering unitards), until half of the episode inexplicably becomes about Camille & Yoanna drama. The models pose for a Steve Madden ad, and we see who can walk the walk.
"The Girl Who Overslept"
December 03, 2020 15:00 - 1 hour - 147 MBCue some CeCe Peniston, because we have FINALLY arrived at Cycle 2. We meet a new crop of models, but the cream of that crop is the photographer for the shoot, and new judge on the panel: Nigel Barker. The ladies pose nude in a Garden of Eden-themed photo for color contact lenses. Some rise to the challenge, some refuse to show their skin, and someone sleeps through the alarm.
"The Girl Who Becomes America's Next Top Model"
November 26, 2020 15:00 - 1 hour - 113 MBOMG y'all... we made it to the finale of Cycle 1. Sissy and Jeannie record their first episode together in the same room. Elyse tries to give us a science lesson. We get the ICONIC Baby Phat fashion show, and our queen Adrianne is crowned the first ever America's Next Top Model.
"The Girls Get Really Naked"
November 19, 2020 15:00 - 1 hour - 120 MBJeannie and Sissy get so high that they can fly a kite to Paris. Meanwhile, the models explore the city and participate in the most revealing photoshoot yet, featuring an iconic moment with Robin. We also see Tyra behind the camera for the first time as she photographs the final four.
"The Girl Who Deals With a Pervert"
November 12, 2020 15:00 - 1 hour - 127 MBCW: nonconsensual touching The models fly off to Paris for a Wonder Bra fashion shoot, where Shannon gets the surprise of her life. Then, it's time for go-sees (which have such a confusing name), and Kesse finds times to buy some lotion. This is a podcast produced by How To Taxidermy Your Housepets and Other Helpful Tips. Music by Olwen Laine.
"The Girl Who Everyone Thinks is Killing Herself"
November 05, 2020 15:00 - 1 hour - 165 MBCW: eating disorders, body image Oof, this week is a rough one, ladies. The models gang up on Elyse regarding her body and eating habits. Meanwhile, Michael Jackson gets name-dropped. And Sissy & Jeannie exchange mac & cheese tips while they open up about their struggles with standards of beauty, hard boobs included.
"The Girl Who Drives Everyone Crazy"
October 29, 2020 17:45 - 1 hour - 146 MBThis week, Sissy and The Other Jeannie wax poetic about Anchorman and not so casual homophobia, while the models shoot their first video commercial.
"The Girl Who Gets Rushed to the Emergency Room"
October 22, 2020 14:00 - 1 hour - 156 MBThis week, Sissy and Jeannie debate their strategies if they were on reality television, while the models receive the first makeover ever in ANTM herstory. We also plead for Adrienne Curry to become friends with us. Oh, and Tyra FINALLY finds the words, "Smile with your eyes." This podcast is produced by How To Taxidermy Your Housepets & Other Helpful Tips.
"The Girl is Here to Win, Not Make Friends"
October 15, 2020 14:00 - 1 hour - 151 MBThe models walk in a mock fashion show, where we meet Miss Jay!!! And Wyclef Jean is there too? There's a prayer circle, which is a choice. And the girls model in bikinis again, meanwhile Sissy explains to Jeannie what Stuff magazine is.
"The Girl Who Wants It Bad"
October 08, 2020 13:00 - 1 hour - 166 MBMinneapolis-based drag queens Sissy Tops and The Other Jeannie Retelle review every episode of the classic queer juggernaut, America's Next Top Model, starting with Cycle 1, Episode 1.