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Spilled Milk

491 episodes - English - Latest episode: about 3 years ago - ★★★★★ - 1.2K ratings

Every week on Spilled Milk, writers/comedians Molly Wizenberg and Matthew Amster-Burton start with a food-related topic, from apples to winter squash, and run with it as far as they can go—and, regrettably, sometimes further.

Food Arts Comedy
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Episodes

Episode 477: Peanuts

February 18, 2021 14:00 - 43 minutes - 59.9 MB

Today we visit The Boil Belt and cross a fine line to discuss nutmeats, groundnuts and goobers. We use a lot of official sounding words, tell some boring stories and introduce you to Mister Edymology as we learn the correct pronunciation of "legume". Transcript Hank the Cave Peanut These Precious Days By Ann Patchett Cyclist meets family of skunks Hostess Mascots See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Episode 476: M&M's

February 11, 2021 15:00 - 57 minutes - 78.9 MB

Welcome to our longest and most self-helpy episode ever as we display crazy self control and then begin a dance of intimacy. It's Molly vs the Superfluous Apostrophe as we discuss living down the hatch, candy in wartime and when we should eat our own faces. Transcript Baby Malaysian Tapir from a Singapore zoo See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Episode 475: Yakisoba

February 04, 2021 15:00 - 30 minutes - 41.9 MB

Today we hope that the second time is the charm as we welcome Guest Listener Kayoko to chat with us about yakisoba. We discover how this dish is like a sloppy joe, Molly's thimble obsession and that Matthew is a monster. On an unrelated note: we vow to never again record at night. Transcript Reddit  Just One Cookbook  Jeopardy Earth at Night  See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Episode 474: Holiday Cookies 3

January 28, 2021 08:00 - 48 minutes - 66.2 MB

Today is Groundhog Day. Again. Our alter egos, Bob and Sue, welcome a very special guest into the studio and discuss squeezing cookies, marriage advice and how much is too much Jim Carrey. After encountering adorable assassins and The Gottman Institute, yet another segment is pitched. Producer Abby is running out of theme songs Transcript 2001 Sunset Cookie article  Molly and Luisa Weiss make Biberle cookies Snacking Cakes by Yossy Arefi  Baby pine marten See omnystudio.com/listener for...

Episode 473: Chawanmushi

January 21, 2021 15:00 - 40 minutes - 55.8 MB

Today is a whole lot. While discussing Chawanmushi, M and M get into Monster Trucks, invent chunky sprays and float more time travel hypotheticals. Through lingering smells, Big Foot and tea sets we eventually get to (yet another) new segment.   Transcript Reddit  Just One Cookbook Chawanmushi  Sourdough Waffles Lazy cat sleeps on busy restaurant floor refusing to move See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Episode 472: Custard

January 14, 2021 15:00 - 51 minutes - 70.3 MB

Today we discover Colonel Custard with Pokémon in Russia as we address our phobias and pot de crème encounters. Through groaning spreads and crustards of flessssh, we finally realize the dark, universal dominance of custard. Please, no gifts and no speeches. Transcript Reddit  Cute "Animal" video  See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Episode 471: Apple Pie

January 07, 2021 15:00 - 48 minutes - 67.2 MB

Rated NFJ. Welcome to Apple Pie Lane, which is populated by The Pie Police, The Three Kates and more vampires and beatniks than you'd expect. Today we discuss tarts with tops, The Great Pie War and then things get quite morbid. Do it Forth and Bake Well! Transcript Once Bitten  Coyle's Bakeshop  Mock Apple Pie Finnegan Fox    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Episode 470: Persimmons

December 31, 2020 15:00 - 42 minutes - 58.1 MB

Today we "draw a man’s mouth awry with much torment" as we emerge from our cave, hand ripened and ready to travel down a nonexistent memory lane. We're thin, snappy and woody as we invite you into our nightmares and learn the dangers of this berry tomato. Mind the owls! Transcript Reddit Molly's Workshop  hoshigaki  David Lebovitz Persimmon recipes  Simply Recipes Persimmon Pudding See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Episode 469: Cider

December 24, 2020 15:00 - 47 minutes - 65.6 MB

Welcome to our Crackling Cold Cider episode where we time travel and stuff stockings before our friendship exorcism. As we mull things over, Matthew goes behind Molly's back and we encounter way too many segments for one show.   Reddit  Molly's writing workshop  Eric Bordelet Cider Pygmy Marmoset Eats a Grape at Taronga Zoo Sydney    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Episode 468: Oyster Crackers

December 17, 2020 15:00 - 36 minutes - 50 MB

Today we go off the rails with a visit to Middle Earth and our local grocery store. After deciding what constitutes a "fun cracker", we discuss sports cars, Parade Magazine and more animals than Producer Abby is comfortable with.   Episode Transcript Spilled Milk Reddit What are Oyster Crackers? Coronet Guinea Pig Common Cracker Ask Marilyn See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Episode 467: Holiday Cookies 2: The Sequel

December 10, 2020 14:00 - 41 minutes - 57.4 MB

It's time to go back to the tin! We learn what's been going on at Matthew's house and introduce too many new segments, including "Alternate History". Listen as we google things, debate crumbly vs chewy and decide that all we want for Christmas is friendship.   Episode Transcript Spilled Milk Reddit Original Holiday Cookies episode Cat snoring video Cara-Sel Classic German Baking See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Episode 466: Cinnamon Toast

December 03, 2020 15:00 - 46 minutes - 63.4 MB

You are cordially invited to our Cinnamon Toast Party! This one has everything: quilts, frisky love letters, The Judy Amster Method and a surprise guest. We spread from edge to edge as we meet hungry ranchers, CandyFiend_69420 and The Ruskman. Love, YVOY Episode Transcript Spilled Milk Reddit Her Recipe Box Pioneer Woman Cinnamon Toast The Kitchn Cinnamon Sugar  See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Episode 465: Silverware

November 26, 2020 15:00 - 59 minutes - 81.9 MB

Welcome to another food adjacent episode where we dive way too deep into the riveting topic of cutlery. We learn about Molly's Mayflower origins, Matthew's spoon obsession and how June really got her name. Join us in the Georgian Area to hear an exclusive interview, a new segment* and various schisms before we finally get down to forking.  *not Producer Abby approved Episode Transcript Spilled Milk Reddit Planet Money ep Fish Knife  Sugar spoon  Fish Spoon Capybara hot springs Whispe...

Episode 464: Napkins

November 19, 2020 15:00 - 46 minutes - 63.4 MB

Today we are folding and wadding as we discuss these smooth, floral table towels and also germ theory. Take a peek inside our t-shirt drawers as we commit a breach of etiquette with the height of sophistication and try to steer clear of silverware territory. Email your questions: [email protected] Episode transcript Spilled Milk Reddit How to Make a Triangle Fold Napkin See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Episode 463: Tortilla Chips

November 12, 2020 15:00 - 37 minutes - 51.9 MB

Today we wonder if we already did this as we festoon our respective memory lanes. We wonder how the Tostito became round, how high Matthew can reach and what happens when you eat tainted hot dogs. Things almost get violent with high blocks, slapping taste buds and road blocks but eventually everything becomes clear. Episode transcript Reddit Julie and the Phantoms GREEN CHILE CHICKEN CHILAQUILES The Four Top   See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Episode 462: Dream Grocery Store

November 05, 2020 15:00 - 58 minutes - 80.3 MB

Today we invite you into our dreams and welcome your judgement as we admit our deepest fantasies. Molly reveals her evil alter ego while Matthew unveils his secret past as we discover the merits of Big Grab Bags, loss leaders and soup snacks. You've Got to Be Kidding Me! Episode Transcript Becky Selengut's How to Clean a Crab Video  Spilled Milk Reddit   See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Episode 461: Fresh Pasta

October 29, 2020 13:00 - 48 minutes - 66.4 MB

Today we discover the real origins of fresh pasta, the difference between Maleficent and Rumpelstiltskin, and Matthew's Kung Fu dreams. After tunneling through pasta nests, Molly Mart and crushed lettuce we finally get around to remaking The Shawshank Redemption. VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! Episode Transcript Spinasse Bears Eating Salmon See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Episode 460: Pepperoni

October 22, 2020 13:00 - 42 minutes - 57.8 MB

Welcome to Jerky Lanes! Today we dive into nuggets, ingots, sticks and coins to discuss America's Favorite Pizza Topping, Pepperoni. We plan elaborate handoffs, Canadian corporate retreats and eventually diagnose bowler's thumb. Featuring Screwdrivers and Wallbangers with a whole lot of screaming Episode Transcript Thrillist Article Hormel Pepperoni Cups Boar's Head Meatballs with Pepperoni Ed Fretwell Soup Oberto Cocktail Pep     See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Episode 459: Quince

October 15, 2020 13:00 - 32 minutes - 44.7 MB

Today we are experiencing Flashes of Quince as Molly introduces Matthew to this fragrant fruit. We discuss Rosie Perez, apple rock and spy aspirations as we dig into the Bible and code words to discover The Season of Quince. Episode Transcription Rosy Poached Quince Orangette Quince recipe See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Episode 458: Salted Butter

October 08, 2020 14:00 - 39 minutes - 54.8 MB

Today we are whipped in nitrogen as we encounter Cookie Monster, barbarous nations and butter bells. We loose control of our self driving dumpster as we discuss drums of pesto, The Butter Shaver and too many mythical creatures. Full Transcript here Taste Atlas The Chopping Block Blog Good Housekeeping Salted Butter Chocolate Chunk Shortbread Charlotte Druckman article See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Episode 457: Negronis

October 01, 2020 14:00 - 46 minutes - 64.6 MB

Happy National Air Day! Meet Toni Negroni, Jack Sazerac and Suze the French Amaro as we discuss Father's Day gifts, baking cunks and our piazza habits. We discover Matthew's new obsession and Molly's childhood fears all while thinking about sipping a Negroni.   Negroni Week Pascal Olivier Count de Negroni The Four Top See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Episode 456: Pad Thai

September 24, 2020 14:00 - 47 minutes - 64.6 MB

Today we spend some time restaurant reminiscing as we recount stories of table side cooking and flambé pendulums to eventually get way into Pad Thai. We bolster our pantry and courage as we encounter uneven testicles, promises and lots of crunchy bits. We also interview the creator of Hot Thai Kitchen, Pailin “Pai” Chongchitnant, to get some real insight into this dish. Episode Transcription Hot Thai Kitchen  HTK Youtube Pad Thai She Simmers Pad Thai recipe Gastronomica article The Morn...

Episode 455: Sweet Cereals

September 17, 2020 14:00 - 48 minutes - 67 MB

Today we try to figure out how many scores it has been since last talking cereal and how many grams of sugar per serving we are allowed to consume. We spill some style secrets as we battle too many lobster metaphors, the Pied Piper and boxes. Be sure to catch Matthew's off script promise and never use the phrase #eyemilk.   Donate to Spilled Milk Dire Desires Cerealously   See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Episode 454: Kale Chips

September 10, 2020 14:00 - 46 minutes - 64.4 MB

Today we forget why we are doing this episode but decide to use our mind magnets to figure out if we are kale chips people or not. We solve The Mystery of Kalakala on our way to Kohlrabi Corner and discover Matthew's dinner secrets. The episode goes downhill from there. All Recipes Kale Chips Leite's Culinaria Kale Chips Food.com Kale Chips     See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Episode 453: Paper Towels

September 03, 2020 14:00 - 42 minutes - 59 MB

Today we debate complex moral quandaries and hope you all have the presence of mind to tune in to this extremely interesting episode. We learn about Scott and roll size before our Animal Crossing segment. Neither Nook Stops, nor bottomless coffins nor ear trumpets will stop us from waxing poetic about technical shorts.   Bounty ad  WSJ article  Cthulhu See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Episode 452: Go-To Meals

August 27, 2020 14:00 - 36 minutes - 50.2 MB

Today we change our slogan yet again and its even more depressing than ever. Armed with a license to doctor, we battle rosemary, defunct video rental stores and the word "repertoire" to bring you our favorite Go-To meals. Repertoire book Beans and Greens Hamburger Buns BBQ Sauce Diner style hamburgers  Rachel's Zucchini Detroit Pizza Salerno Spaghetti 2 slices sandwich bread, quartered 10 tablespoons EVOO 4 medium garlic cloves, pressed 1/4 tsp red pepper flakes 1 pound spaghetti 1 ou...

Episode 451: Pickled Onions

August 20, 2020 14:00 - 26 minutes - 36.8 MB

This week we discuss purple kohlrabi, silver skin and streaking tips all in the effort to avoid speaking about pickled onions. We learn the delights of Googling in Italian and how much Matthew loves to clean the bathroom all in the quest to discover whether or not we are pickle people.   Molly Wizenberg's Book Larder Author Talk A Proper Pickle  Skirt Steak with Pickled Onions  English Pub Style Pickled Onions  See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Episode 450: Kohlrabi

August 13, 2020 14:00 - 39 minutes - 54.1 MB

Today we chat about wine coolers, kale chips, turnips, cabbage and occasionally the topic, Kohlrabi. Memory lane takes an unexpected turn as we discuss eating brains, the Bronze Age and whether Matthew is friends with Jake Gyllenhaal or not. Warning: the word "bulbous" is used too many times in this episode.   Commercial - Bartles And Jaymes Premium Wine Cooler (1986) Monji Haakh  In Port Townsend, a couple living the dream … like Victorians 5 Tasty Ways to Prepare Kohlrabi Kale Chips ...

Episode 449: Furikake

August 06, 2020 14:00 - 31 minutes - 43.8 MB

Today we encounter crunchy bits, the 5 second rule and organ dreams as we discuss this Friend of Rice, Furikake. We toy with the idea of joining the National Furikake Association, undertake a new hobby and ultimately decide there is no impremating allowed.   The Fixed Stars virtual event with Book Larder Furikake Chex Mix Homemade Furikake Seasoning See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Episode 448: Salad Rolls with Andrea Nguyen

July 30, 2020 14:00 - 37 minutes - 51.8 MB

Today we work on our pronunciation skills and wrapping technique as we discuss salad rolls (Goi Cuon) with Andrea Nguyen. We learn about the importance of lithe vegetables, the pleasure of parallel noodle bites and how to lay a chip. Andrea'a Website The Fixed Stars Virtual Event w/Book Larder Andrea Nguyen's Books Three Ladies Rice Paper    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Episode 447: Zucchini

July 23, 2020 14:00 - 47 minutes - 65.9 MB

Today we remember the ratatouilles of our youth, sex ed classes and invent some alien sex fantasies. We discover Molly's legacy of larceny and learn way too much botany as we debate the risks of salad and zoodling.   Ed Fretwell Soup Rachel's Zucchini   See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Episode 446: Crispy Spring Rolls

July 16, 2020 14:00 - 44 minutes - 61.1 MB

Today we reminisce about the good old days when we recorded together and Molly could eat Matthew's cooking. We wade through pleated pants, time machines and incorrect sports metaphors to bring you The Fearful Friar as we discuss spring rolls of the crispy variety.   Chinese Soul Food book Egg Roll Wrappers Lumpia   See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Episode 445: Soft Pretzels

July 09, 2020 13:00 - 48 minutes - 44 MB

Today we encounter Supermarket Sweeps, corporate historians and roller skating hoodlums as we dive deep into Soft Pretzels. It's Auntie Anne's vs Wetzel's Pretzels as we discuss musical puns and too much Animal Crossing to eventually invent the Slim Jim Candy Cane. Hot Buttered Soft Pretzels See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Episode 444: Shichimi Tōgarashi

July 02, 2020 14:00 - 39 minutes - 36.3 MB

Today we finally start paving Memory Lane as we learn Matthew is all bluster and Molly sprouted from a root cellar. As we discuss spice blends, mustard water and the bottomless well of Molly's inexperience we hope you sue us, marry us or at least mail us something.   Dipping Udon Tsuyu 2 cups water 1 1/3 teaspoons dashi powder 1/3 cup mirin 1/2 cup soy sauce 1 tablespoon sugar Bring to a boil to dissolve, simmer for a few minutes, and set aside. Dipping sauce 1/4 pound thin-sliced pork b...

Episode 443: Candy Canes

June 25, 2020 14:00 - 41 minutes - 37.8 MB

Happy Christmas in June! Today we break open Molly's candy cupboard and encounter shapeshifters, cathedrals and barber polls as we learn the truth behind candy canes. Matthew watches Molly eat something yet again as we set things up for the sequel. Mary Berry's Gingerbread House See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Episode 442: Worcestershire Sauce

June 18, 2020 14:00 - 33 minutes - 30.5 MB

Today we encounter hamburgers, meatloaf and beef spheres as we finally discover what cooking is. Molly plays sleuth and Matthew plays well with peanut butter as we wonder where Worcestershire is and what Ms Frizzle and Dennis Quaid are up to. Place your bets people!   Lea Perrins corporate history Serious Eats BBQ sauce See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Episode 441: Chex Mix

June 11, 2020 14:00 - 40 minutes - 36.8 MB

Today we wonder what this stuff is as we discuss school vending machines, chicken oil and the best plane snacks. Is it Bold or Just Fine? We hope you like this episode but really it is for someone else. Be sure to subscribe to Dire Desires!     See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Episode 440: Jalapeño Chips

June 04, 2020 14:00 - 28 minutes - 26 MB

Today the lag is all too real. We become the anti-twitter as we munch on jalapeño chips and discuss the relationship between snacking and writing. Tim Riggins and Matt Saracen stop by again as we discover new Elizabeth David books and the perils of guinea pig soundproofing. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Episode 439: Mashed Potatoes

May 28, 2020 14:00 - 42 minutes - 39 MB

Today we are doing some hard thinking about a soft subject, Mashed Po Ta Toes. Listen as we take up all sorts of mantles, polish up Gollum impressions and wonder to garlic or not to garlic all while worrying about invading Space Godzillas.   Serious East Mashed Potatoes Gotta Have Gatto by Matthew Amster-Burton Robuchon Mashed Potatoes       See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Episode 438: Spanakopita

May 21, 2020 14:00 - 42 minutes - 38.9 MB

Today we become a Spanakopita pronunciation guide as we discuss the hovering meals of childhood and cover-ups. We learn about Molly's tailored past, Papa Pie and the importance of relaxing as we finally discover a use for old tote bags.   WOTSL's recipe Dimitra's Dishes   Molly's Spanakopita Adapted from The Joy of Cooking Yield: One 8-inch square pan / 8 servings   1 Tbsp. olive oil ½ of a large yellow onion, finely chopped 2 scallions, thinly sliced 10 ounces baby spinach A lar...

Dire Desires: Body of Evidence

May 18, 2020 14:00 - 45 minutes - 41.3 MB

The first episode in our new limited series podcast, Dire Desires.  Subscribe wherever you get your podcasts to get access to the rest of Season 1.  Join us on a journey to that most erotic of cities, Portland Oregon as we discuss Body of Evidence. Today we learn about VCR settings, how to use nipple clamps, the recipe for funky sex and much more. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Episode 437: Mug Cakes

May 14, 2020 14:00 - 36 minutes - 33.8 MB

Join us as we endeavor to discover what these are, why they exist and what the kids are into these days. We discuss Dad vengeance and Sheens to eventually watch it rise before our eyes. Before we get to any of that however, we need to learn how microwaves work so buckle up.   Chocolate Mug Cake Chocolate Cake in a Mug   See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Introducing Dire Desires

May 11, 2020 20:03 - 1 minute - 1.71 MB

Dire Desires: Life Lessons from Classic Erotic Thrillers. Coming soon from the creators of Spilled Milk. Matthew Amster-Burton and Molly Wizenberg, co-hosts of the hit comedy podcast Spilled Milk, team up with movie buff/producer Abby Cerquitella to scour Hollywood’s sexiest—and usually stupidest—movies for lessons in how to live, love, and get laid as much as Michael Douglas did in the 90s. Season 1 covers six erotic classics, including Indecent Proposal, Body Heat, and Disclosure. See om...

Episode 436: Almond Extract

May 07, 2020 14:00 - 35 minutes - 32.6 MB

Today we create a Coconut Macaroon Pact and debate going polyrhythmic as we discuss almond extract and drum circles. Molly finds a new calling while Matthew exposes the secret behind almond extract creation and assigns homework.   Almond Meltaway Cookies Almond Cake - Orangette Apricot Jam Recipes that Use Almond Extract See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Episode 435: Olives

April 30, 2020 14:00 - 53 minutes - 49.2 MB

We are coming to you from Molly's closet to chat about Greatcoats, War and Peace, and The Pelican Brief. We learn a secret from Molly's past, encounter Olive Santa and debate Bear vs Cyclops. Note: this episode has so much and yet so little about olives.   Chicken Marbella See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Episode 434: Moscow Mules

April 23, 2020 14:00 - 31 minutes - 29.1 MB

Grab your copper mugs and let's toast to Vodka Buck. We encounter tundras, cowboys and outposts to learn the real story behind Cock and Bull while brushing up on our cocktail history. Thanks again Kate!   Rachel's Ginger Beer See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Episode 433: Avocados

April 16, 2020 14:00 - 43 minutes - 39.9 MB

Today we finally reveal our true selves as we discuss creamy aversions, sex robot hotlines and WAY too much botany. Take a guess on how many times we can say "climacteric" in one episode. No, it is more than that. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Episode 432: Pomona

April 09, 2020 14:00 - 32 minutes - 30.2 MB

Welcome to our corporate retreat where we battle waves of nostalgia to find out how Matthew met WOTSL. Through library concerts, computer closets and erotic thrillers we end up at The Carnal Quad where M & M get real creepy. Best enjoyed with quesadillas and a milkshake.   Our Secret Better Lives  See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Episode 431: Yeast

April 02, 2020 14:00 - 38 minutes - 35.6 MB

Here we are again, leavening the atmosphere and getting real nerdy. Through fiery rants, urine experiments and way too much science we endeavor to empower and demoralize per usual.   Flour Water Salt Yeast  Yeasted Waffles  Parker Roles  Naan  The Fixed Stars    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Episode 430: Shrimp Cocktail

March 26, 2020 14:00 - 44 minutes - 41.1 MB

Today we discuss our future retirement community orgy plan, Fanny Cradock's downfall and The Prawn Cocktail Offensive. Then we decide who gets to be the Cook of the Realm and who gets to be the hen-pecked husband. Rated NFJ.   Fanny Cradock Video Bon Appetit's Best Shrimp Cocktail See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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