Episode 5 - James Bond - You Only Live Twice - "Two-Ply Walls"

You Only Live Twice - “Two-Ply Walls”
Summary:
Welcome to SPECTRE etc. This is the James Bond podcast where we discuss the ins and the outs of each film. In this episode, we watch as Bond says goodbye to the Bahamas of “Thunderball” and konichiwa to Japan as Roald Dahl’s screenplay for “You Only Live Twice” opens the door for so very many racist undertones. And overtones.

* The pre-titles sequence takes place in outer space with reasonable special effects. This has us cautiously (foolishly, as it turns out) optimistic for the blue-screening ahead of us.
* We have had enough of the Bond franchise trying to fool us with yet another “Is Bond dead?” sequence. When Bond’s corpse is reanimated and returned to dry land, he heads to a sumo match and tells the first girl he sees that he loves her.
* Bond visits Henderson, but our focus is on the real-world practicality of paper walls. How would you hang art on those walls? Or stick up posters? Or maintain a prison system?
* Col enjoys the way Bond breaks into a safe, though not probably as much as he enjoys realising that 20 years ago he was close to this filming location.
* Bond meets Tiger Tanaka, who divides opinion. Cam is happy to be startled by Tanaka’s secret sorting slide, but Matt thinks this sort of thing is beyond the pale. Meanwhile, Tanaka’s personal train has us all wondering how things would be if everyone had their own train. The bath-house that innuendo built, which is full of Tanaka’s sexiful possessions, turns us into giggling schoolboys.
* Bond is checked for weapons at Osato Chemicals, teaching us all a lot about how x-rays work. And then we are off to the docks! Bond is taken captive (briefly) before escaping from the plane he was left sitting in.
* Little Nellie joins the team, which leads us to a volcano lair, which leads us to Blofeld! Just when we are getting all excited about Bond getting into the volcano lair, we are forced to sit through 20 wasted minutes of Bond becoming “a Japanese”.
* Finally, the film snaps back into action with Bond taking his pig-faced bride to explore Blofeld’s volcano lair! Cam considers finally seeing the face of this supervillain to be the “Blofeld money shot” he has been waiting for.
* During the film’s big climax, we get stuck on what seems like an odd criticism for a film - there are just too many cameras. Yet again, Bond finishes his adventure in a boat with a girl - this time though, we get to see Moneypenny cockblocking Bond!

Official SPECTRE etc Theory (OffSeT) #5: SPECTRE is the industry leader. Benso has been pushing this idea for a few episodes now, and finally Col is convinced. Whether it is using live humans in their weapon-testing facilities, or issuing agents with cyanide pills, or even leaving enemy combatants in escapable situations; you can be sure that SPECTRE did it first, and MI6 later followed.

And of course, keep checking back for a link to our petition to solve road-based traffic jams by giving everyone their own train!

Worst Impersonation Trophy:
Col does a pretty reliable Connery, and a reasonable Japanese accent, but once Bond “becomes a Japanese”, Col has to combine these accents to have a Scottish inflection on “Arigato” - this just seems a bridge too far for his impressive impersonating skills!

Contact Us:
Facebook: facebook.com/SPECTREetcpodcast/
Twitter: @SPECTREpodcast
Email: [email protected]