Silenced by Stigma with MICHAEL

With me today is Michael, who is here to speak loud about something not many people speak about. Michael is dedicated to ending the silence around male sexual abuse survivors, after a harrowing journey with sexual abuse, alcohol and drug addiction and mental illness. 

Michael grew up in a violent, emotionally and physically abusive household, because of his mother. At 14, he entered a sexually abusive situation with an older woman. He was obsessed with her, unaware of the negative impact the situation was having on him. 

When a family counselor unearthed the truth, neither they nor Michael’s parents addressed the abuse. Instead, he was grounded. He began drinking and experiencing mental health spirals that led to a brush with suicide. “I was wild, disruptive, like a grenade without a pin,” Michael says.  

After high school, Michael was in the bar business for 27 years, with unlimited access to alcohol and compulsive sex. At 22, his father passed away, and Michael developed the mindset that good people, like his father, weren’t rewarded in the long run, and no one went out of their way to protect vulnerable people. 

After losing his job, his house, and nearly his life to alcoholism, Michael was placed in a rehab facility where he could safely quit drinking. Through therapy, he uncovered the serious effect the abuse had on him, and decided to seek legal action against his abuser. Michael was met with confidence that she would face charges, but after three days was told no action would be taken, “because [he] was fourteen and not thirteen, and the sex was consensual.” Once again, Michael’s abuse was trivialized and ignored. 

Michael used research as a tool for his anger, and found that women make up 20% of sexual abuse. He also found that 67% of men who reported sexual abuse to hotlines were told, “We only help women.” Michael began posting the information he found online. He gained traction and support, and was a guest on many podcasts like this one. 

Michael is now working on his own podcast, where he plans to interview other survivors, as well as mental health professionals, researchers, detectives and attorneys. He’s adamant that male and female victims are in this together, and he hopes that listeners do something positive with their anger. He encourages listeners to reach out if they have a story, need to talk, or have a loved one that needs help. 

Listen in to learn more about Michael’s experience as a foster parent, his journey with rehabilitation and therapy, and statistics surrounding male sexual abuse. 

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