SJ069: All the CES stuff that's wild, weird, and wonderful; Apple gets grief from everyone; more

Our geologic survey of Planet CES is done for another year, cadets, and this week Charles and Mike issue their reports on what was really big and surprisingly small, the cool stuff and the "huh?" moments, and go into some detail on the big themes this year, from Thunderbolt 3 and USB-C to HomeKit stuff and of course various security solutions. They also welcome back one of the most beloved "spurious use of Bluetooth" devices we covered from back in the MacNN days, the Numi luxury toilet -- now "flush" with new features. Never fear, however, there is a lot of tech news outside of CES to cover, and of course we get to that as well.

From pointless Congressional investigations into Apple's battery-replacement program to where (and where not) to get your battery replaced; from a new vote coming up to save net neutrality to the FBI's desire to make us all less secure for their own personal convenience; from investors that fear "for the children" but were apparently unaware that Apple has parental controls to Microsoft's problematic but 100 percent effective fix for the Spectre and Meltdown threats to AMD-based PCs (and AMDs incredibly two-faced responses to this security crisis); from the Jimmy Iovine rumor to our pronouncement that AirPort is on life support to the dramatic turn in the Apple vs VOIP-Pal case, the Space Javelin crew are ever-vigilant for tech news and shenanigans not involving the power or flood levels of a certain convention center in Las Vegas.

All this and the products from CES we'd actually consider buying for ourselves plus a whole lot more -- including a shout out to the new cadets just joining the ship (no hazing from the senior staff, you guys), so buckle up for insight, analysis, head-scratching oddities and other silliness this week.