Captain Mike turns his back for two minutes, and suddenly we're all Samsung, all the time! After weeks of Apple leading the news, this time it's about Samsung: the introduction of the Galaxy Note 8, including an in-depth look at its features; the odd processor and color choices (and where to get what); the cost of the new device vs. the rumored cost of the "iPhone 8"; and the comedy of errors that is Linus Tech Tips' coverage of the rollout. If that's not enough Samsung for you, special guest Malcolm Owen and Charles talk about the company's plans for getting into the "intelligent home speaker" market as well. But it's not all rosy in Seoul these days; the upper management of the company are largely going to jail.

Also on tap, the retirement of Crashplan from the consumer market (and what to do about that); Tim Cook in Austin announcing more Swift programming classes; the dismissal of a texting-while-driving lawsuit against Apple; AccuWeather's super-squirrelly dirty data secrets; Epic Games guy puts food a bit into the general mouth region; and yes, some news about Apple -- including "iPhone 8" parts leaks, cost, and a new video pitting the iPad Pro 12.9-incher against a MacBook. The results may surprise you. All this and much more, cadets, so put your life on autopilot for an hour and warp out with the crew of Space Javelin!