The Value of a Wife – Part II

You know the feeling when you come home, and it’s like you just clocked into your second job?

So many women feel the crushing weight of taking care of everything at home without asking for help from their partners or getting outside assistance. 

Why? 

Because that help is associated with guilt.

And because they find it difficult to delegate or leave space for other members of the home to contribute, they cultivate a constant feeling of resentment and irritability towards the unpaid domestic and emotional labor that they’re putting in.

But the truth is that these expectations are self-imposed. 

And they’re yet another direct and unfair consequence of internalized patriarchy.

Today, we’re revisiting a conversation that we began about three years ago when we published episode 126: The Value Of A Wife. And in this one, we discuss Jeni’s recent step back from trying to take care of her home alone. We get into how opening a dialogue about the situation with her loved ones has made a difference and what she did when she realized that she just couldn’t fold everybody’s socks anymore. 

Here’s what you can expect from this one:

An honest recap of Jenni’s thought process when she decided that something needed to change
Why asking for help feels so wrong (and why we need to stop thinking that way)
How treating your home like a second workplace can affect your mental health
Why + how we internalize patriarchal expectations

The domestic labor of decision making

The importance of being intentional with your time, energy, and money

If these feelings resonate with you, we hope that this episode helps you understand that they’re stemming from something large and systemic. You are not alone in your responsibilities, and the people who love you will be more than willing to share the load so that you can take the break you deserve. 

And if you enjoyed this episode, find us on Instagram (@heymarvelous) so that we can continue the conversation!

This Week’s Joy

Jeni has her eyes glued to shop-tend.com, an online store that sells beautiful vintage nightgowns (albeit all currently sold out) that inspire the free wandering spirit in her.

RESOURCES:

Drop The Ball by Tiffany Dufu
shop-tend.com
Visibility Week – Visibility Crash Course