Do you ever feel nervous about networking events? You know you 'have to' do them, but you secretly dread them and feel a huge sense of relief, once they're over?
Or maybe you get there and scan round the room at everyone else looking so confident and like they belong and you secretly feel like a fraud, scared in case someone 'finds you out'?
Or maybe you make your way through it, but you struggle with the small-talk and kick yourself afterwards, as you remember all the things you wish you had said?
I've worn those t-shirts in the past. I know how hard it can feel. And in the past 15+ years of mentoring entrepreneurs and passionate world-changers, I have seen, first-hand, how those secret networking fears can cause us to fumble introductions, forget names, clam up with embarrassment or even risk damaging your business by not going at all.
I'm going to a 3-day live event this week - Chris Ducker's Youpreneur Summit. And, in the months since I booked my ticket (my second time for this conference), I have noticed how the idea of networking with fellow entrepeneurs (super-scary attack-creatures, obviously!) can make people feel apprehensive.
It takes guts to go to a big event that's all about taking inspired action towards your dreams. Because 'fake it till you make it' doesn't cut it any more.
The days of us being able to 'pretend' and 'bluff' our way through networking meetings are over.
Believe me - I love being on stage, but mingling with people afterwards? That's much harder!
How Do Really You Feel About Networking?
If you're anything like most of us, in the run-up to the event, you'll be comparing yourself with the others who are attending, assuming they are all somehow cleverer, more confident or more 'deserving' of being there than you are.
Your inner critic might be pointing out, every few minutes, all the reasons why you're not good enough to be there, how you might embarrass yourself, or why you're wasting your time and money. And what if - heavens forbid - nobody likes you? And you stand in the corner on your own for the whole event? Ok, for some of us that's simultaneously our worst nightmare and our dream outcome. ;-)
If this resonates with you, then whatever it is that makes you nervous about networking, I've got two important messages for you today:
You are totally normal. There is nothing wrong with you!
Most of the people in the room will have experienced some kind of networking nerves. But they, like you, aren't letting it show on the outside. We don't pick up badges at the door saying, "I secretly hate networking, even though I like people!"
It doesn't have to be that way - when you know how to 'do' networking in a way that works for you.
Just because some people are big and bold and super-confident, it doesn't mean that's the only way to network. When you find the way that works for you, you might even start to enjoy it.
There are two main reasons why we end up dreading big events, conferences or business networking.
It might be because you're an introverted entrepreneur or because you're running a dose of Imposter Syndrome (fear of feeling like a fraud) - or a bit of both.
I'm going to be publishing a book on overcoming Imposter Syndrome in 2019. (Need urgent answers? Got Dare To Dream Bigger? Check out page 191 in the hardback edition. Search for "It's time to stop feeling like a fraud" if you have the Kindle edition).
So for now, let's look at whether or not you're an introverted entrepreneur and what that means you bring to the party. Because yes, you might loathe networking, but you have some hidden talents that extroverted entrepreneurs have to work hard at, but which come naturally to you.
What Is An 'Introverted Entrepreneur'?
Now, in this context, 'introverted' doesn't mean 'shy' and 'extroverted' doesn't mean 'out-going'. It's about where you get your energy from. Good old Carl Jung.
Does being around a group of people top up your inner batt...