Soft Tattooed Millionaires

Brave New World Cup

July 02, 2018 00:00 - 47 minutes - 65.5 MB

No Spain. No Argentina. No Germany. No Portugal. No.....Senegal. This week on STM, we break down how Mexico can continue this streak of giant killing against Brazil.

Personal Goals vs. Mexico Goals

June 25, 2018 00:00 - 43 minutes - 60 MB

Yes, we love Mexico. We also love the US Open Cup, and the fact that the MLS season is halfway done, but DC United has only played 12 games. On this episode, Jack and Max recap CONCACAF's performance so far in the mundial, and discuss how to play it cool when someone gives you an amazing nickname.

WC Preview: 7 Good Players on Bad Teams

June 11, 2018 00:00 - 42 minutes - 57.9 MB

This week, STM chooses 7 players on bad teams that you should be watching this World Cup. Much love to both Iran and Morocco. Also, Max and Jack discuss the likability of Englishmen.

The Hoop Has Been Lowered

May 29, 2018 00:00 - 25 minutes - 35.5 MB

A quick, lunchtime pod for y'all. Max and Jack discuss USA's 3-0 win over Bolivia, and what we can all expect to see in Ireland on Saturday.

USMNT Roster, Death in the Family, and MLS Coaches Abroad

May 21, 2018 00:00 - 39 minutes - 54.6 MB

After a long weekend near the Canadian border, Max and Jack return to discuss the USMNT roster. Furthermore, the two idiot brothers manage to insult all soccer fans in the process. Enjoy!

Continued Bafflement

May 20, 2018 00:00 - 28 minutes - 38.8 MB

Wayne Rooney to DC, Curt Onalfo as GM, and the fizzling of Zlatan. It's a cheerful one today.

Clint and Bradley for USMNT

May 07, 2018 00:00 - 58 minutes - 80.7 MB

After a two week hiatus, Max and Jack return to discuss the starting 11 vs. Bolivia. STM also has the obligatory pro/rel discussion, and dishes out their picks for next USMNT manager. Open your hearts to The Deuce.

Toronto FC = Korean Baseball

April 16, 2018 00:00 - 41 minutes - 57.5 MB

What do Toronto FC and Korean baseball have in common? Turns out, plenty. This week on STM, Max and Jack discuss FC Dallas, the Utah Royals amazing home support, and the Gianluca Busio.

Michael Bradley Has a Mural in Chicago

April 09, 2018 00:00 - 31 minutes - 42.6 MB

Disclaimer: We recorded this before the LA Galaxy game, so whatever Zlatan has just done, we missed it. Anyways, Soft Tattooed Millionaires are back and ready for round two of CCL. What we are not so prepared for is Jason Kreis being a giant d bag to his fans.

Interview with Tim Myers

April 06, 2018 00:00 - 26 minutes - 37 MB

There is no more essential reading in American soccer right now than Tim Myers', "Quiet Lies," and "What's the Truth." Both reports detail the myriad ways in which the MLS and Anthony Precourt have manipulated the narrative around the good city of Columbus. This is not just a pod for all those involved in the #savethecrew movement, but rather for anyone begging for more transparency in the game.

Shane Black's Biopic of Rocco Commisso

April 02, 2018 00:00 - 40 minutes - 55 MB

USMNT vs. Paraguay. The resurrection of Zlatan. STM is here to help you process the week you've just had as a fan of American soccer. Plus, Max and Jack ask, "Is there such a thing as a good soccer movie?" The answer is no, not really.

Wicked Banana Bend

March 26, 2018 00:00 - 26 minutes - 37 MB

In this week's episode, Max and Jack talk NWSL, Zlatan, and some seriously bad TV announcers. There's plenty to stay positive about American soccer, though, and STM is here to make sure your glass is always half full.

Update from Austin, TX

March 23, 2018 00:00 - 25 minutes - 34.7 MB

Parks and Recreation has lied to us. City councils are actually really boring. Ask anyone in Austin. Or you could just ask MLS in Austin spokesperson, Derek Ensign. Luckily, this is exactly what we did. On this pod, Derek gives us a general status update on the MLS coming to Austin, and we engage in some light day dreaming about Mexican superstars playing in Texas.

Athletes aren't Cool

March 19, 2018 00:00 - 48 minutes - 67 MB

Who is the coolest player in the MLS? STM try to wrap their heads around this scourge of lameness, all while reminiscing about bunk beds and potentially life-threatening illnesses.

You like goals? We got your goals right here, pal

March 12, 2018 00:00 - 52 minutes - 72.1 MB

Holy crap! Jack and Max are blown away by just how entertaining the CCL has been this year. STM discuss the Red Bulls' CONCACAF-y victory over Tijuana, and bask in the glory of all 38 MLS goals from the weekend.

CCL is Dope, Get Over Yourselves

March 06, 2018 00:00 - 53 minutes - 72.9 MB

Max returns from Santa Fe, Jack recaps MLS hijinks, and both boys discover something about themselves along the way. Turns out, CCL is actually everything they've ever needed.

Liga MX, we love you so

March 03, 2018 00:00 - 17 minutes - 24.3 MB

Jason Marquitz, producer of the Mexican Soccer Show, joins STM this week to talk about the suspension of pro/rel in Liga MX. Jack also attempts to break a world record.

MLS Preview and Prediction Show

February 25, 2018 00:00 - 40 minutes - 56.2 MB

Harrison Crow, of American Soccer Analysis, joins us to preview the MLS season. We discuss which teams could possibly overachieve, and talk about which sides might be not quite as advertised. Who are our picks for the top of the table, and who's going to win it all? If you need to look smart in front of your soccer-loving friends, this is the pod to listen to.

Post-Breakup Eric Wynalda

February 19, 2018 00:00 - 26 minutes - 36.9 MB

Max and Jack highlight the achievements of some of our best and brightest, all while trying very hard not to rattle Eric Wynalda's cage.

USSF Presidential Election

February 10, 2018 00:00 - 34 minutes - 47.1 MB

STM gives their rapid reaction to the USSF presidential election.

Interview with Todd Saldaña

January 26, 2018 00:00 - 22 minutes - 31.5 MB

LAFC academy director, Todd Saldaña, joins the podcast to talk about the youth movement at MLS' newest franchise. We also discuss what it takes to make sure that kids don't fall through the cracks, and how he intends to tackle this problem in the day-to-day operations of the club.

Soft Tattooed Millionaires: Episode 11

January 25, 2018 00:00 - 44 minutes - 61.2 MB

Max and Jack are back to discuss (positively) all things MLS, USSF, and Matt Christopher book reports.

Soft Tattooed Millionaires: Episode 10

January 15, 2018 00:00 - 35 minutes - 48.4 MB

20, or Dos-a-Cero? STM discuss the Donovan announcement while trying not to explode with joy. Per usual, Max and Jack discuss all the happenings in American soccer, both domestically, and abroad.

Emergency Jonathan Gonzales Pod! feat. Adam Belz

January 09, 2018 00:00 - 34 minutes - 47.6 MB

Adam Belz of Scuffed joins us to discuss just what exactly the departure of Jonathan Gonzales means to the USMNT. STM and Adam try to answer the age-old question: How do you mend a broken heart?

Soft Tattooed Millionaires: Episode 8

January 06, 2018 00:00 - 25 minutes - 34.7 MB

Max and Jack preview the Liga MX season, recap MLS moves, talk tender moments between Dax McCarty and Sacha Kljestan, and play a game about mullets.

Soft Tattooed Millionaires: Episode 7

December 29, 2017 00:00 - 23 minutes - 31.9 MB

STM sits down to talk with DC United's Director of Youth Scouting, John Bello.

Soft Tattooed Millionaires: Episode 6

December 17, 2017 00:00 - 43 minutes - 59.9 MB

STM discuss the real reason why so many fans in Louisville tuned into the MLS Cup. The boys fall hard for Danny Williams, LAFC, and AO Sheboygan. Plus, Max and Jack dig deep into the SUM/illuminati connection.

Soft Tattooed Millionaires: Episode 5 - MLS Cup Final, Kyle Beckerman's Appropriative Tattoos, and SUM conspiracies

December 11, 2017 03:05 - 30 minutes - 41.6 MB

Jack and Max discuss whether white men can have dreadlocks and whether said white men can also have tattoos depicting lions with dreadlocks. We're looking at you, Kyle Beckermen. There's also plenty of discussion about MLS Cup final, why Michael Bradley rubs people the wrong way, and why SUM will be the end of us all.