HOST JACKIE TANTILLO - Determined To Shape Her Future With Guest Interior Designer Lynda Huffman

Lynda Huffman left the corporate world after decades of working in medical sales. At this point in her life she wanted to concentrate on what made her happy -interior design. For over 30 years, she'd been designing and decorating on the side and now she's created the "Let's Decorate App" to help anyone and everyone have an easier time at what can be an overwhelming task-fixing up their own home.  Lynda will help you every step of the way.

Lynda said that her story was complicated and in fact it truly is. I'll do my best in filling in the details.  

Lynda's parents were in their teens when they met and realized that Carolyn, Lynda's biological mother, was pregnant. They married, then shortly before the baby was born, her father was sent to Vietnam. 

Subsequently, once dad was oversees, Carolyn was considered an unfit mother and lost custody of her two year old daughter.  At that point, Lynda's grandmother was granted custody.  Within a year Lynda was kidnapped from her grandmother's home by her mom and brought her daughter to Louisiana.  One night, Lynda was left under the care of an underage babysitter while her mother went to work. Unfortunately, Lynda had a terrible fever and the babysitter and her family brought her to the hospital. The doctors told them that Lynda had 103 fever and Rubella. A missing child report was filed and they brought Lynda back to her grandmother's care.  

Lynda's father was summoned back to the US from Vietnam in order to handle the divorce and make sure his daughter was  safe and sound and then sent  back to fight in the war.  Two years passed and he eventually married Lynda's 'step mother'. The couple was married for 40 years. Lynda prefers to not give a name to her step mother and I'm sure you'll understand as you hear more of the story.   

Lynda knows now that her step mother was extremely jealous of her.  Lynda also knows that her step-mother came from a very dysfunctional family and had a very abusive childhood.  "She was a constant source of real torment for me. All of my friends called me Cinderella" explains Lynda. I was her slave around the house. I was constantly told I was ugly and fat and I was never going to have a man take care of me" shares Lynda. This abuse started when Lynda was seven years old and lasted until she moved out at 18. Step-mom would lie to Lynda's father about things she never did in order to keep Lynda on restriction and not be able to leave the house.  "She kept me under thumb and she made sure that my dad was always mad at me for something," reflects my guest.

For the most part, Lynda says "she was a good kid, though she did get caught sneaking out of the house one time but six weeks on restriction for not folding the clothes, was a bit much." My guest says she was just a good kid, a wall flower."  Lynda graduated hight school at seventeen, "but her dad wouldn't let her go away to college. My step mom was in my dad's ear, she didn't want me to leave the house."

At 18, finally Lynda was able to move out of the house and got a job and was never going to go back to that house again. Lynda wanted to go to college whether she paid for it herself or not. She paid for college herself and she was never going to have to depend on them for anything. Lynda was going to prove to her step mother that "she did not need a man to take care of her!"

Carolyn, Lynda's biological mom eventually  wanted to spend more time visiting her daughter. It wasn't until my guest was eighteen years old that she was able to go out with her mother alone.  At this point, Lynda had her mother on a pedestal. Lynda had envisioned her mom as 'a dream.' Anyone would be better than her step mother. Well, it turns out Carolyn had gotten remarried, but had  gotten pregnant just prior to  marrying her future second husband  and never told the truth about who's baby she was carrying.

Lynda reflects on  the incredible take away of this story "it's made me who I am- good, bad or indifferent. I think that we make choices in life. I could have spent  the rest of my life feeling that anger that my mom had let me be raised by this wicked step mother." In my mind, when I grew up that's what all my friends called her." We make a decision, we can say, ok, i'm going to let this be the excuse for why I 'm behaving the way, ... but because my step mom was like that I chose to take a different approach with my step children and we are very close, I am very close with my stepchildren and they've been my step children since they were eight years old."

Lynda chose forgiveness over anger after the birth of her second child. She realized that holding onto the anger and resentment toward her biological mother would only hurt her. She didn't want to continue this negative  tradition. Plus her children would benefit from having a grandmother in their life. Lynda is the first to admit that "her mother was a far better grandmother than a mother."

Lynda proudly explains "my grandmother, Margaret,  was the one  I got my design eye from." As young as seven years old, Lynda knew  that she wanted to be an Interior Designer, especially after years of dusting and rearranging everything in her step mother's house every week. One of Lynda's favorite things to do was rearrange and decorate her room as a young girl. It brought her so much joy. In time,  Lynda  began sewing and became a seamstress, making beautiful curtains and pillows and was hoping to work in this field one day.

Lynda can help you from your home on her new App - the "Let's Decorate App."  Everything from choosing paint colors to artwork, rugs, furniture and it's based on a variety of different rate packages based how many consultations you think you'd like, etc. You can ask Lynda  questions, send her room dimension, etc. It's all within the App so you'll have everything there as a reference. 

https://apps.apple.com/us/app/lets-decorate/id1618796307 Link to the app in the app store.

https://www.facebook.com/LetsDecorate

https://www.instagram.com/letsdecoratenow/https://apps.apple.com/us/app/lets-decorate/id1618796307?itsct=apps_box_promote_link&itscg=30200

WEBSITE:      https://www.letsdecorate.net/

"Should Have Listened To My Mother" is an ongoing conversation about mothers and the roles they play in our lives. And my guests answer the question, 'are you who you are today because of, or in spite of, your mother'? You'll be amazed at what the responses are.

"Should Have Listened To My Mother" would not be possible without the generosity, sincerity and insight from my guests. In getting ready to launch my podcast, so many were willing to give their time and share their personal relationships with their mother.

Some of my guests include Baritone Singer Christopheren Nomura, Pulitzer Prize Winning Journalist Tim Wacker, Activist Kim Miller, Freighter Sea Captain Terry Viscount, Film Production Manager Peg Robinson, Professor of Writing Montclair State University Dr. Bridget Brown, Tammy Steckler, attorney and family advocate @CUNY Law; NYC First Responder/NYC Firefighter Mark Heingartner, Child and Adult Special Needs Activist, Maryellen Valyo Cole and Roger Evens, Property Manager in New Jersey and so many more talented and insightful women and men.

I've worked in the broadcasting industry for over four decades. I've interviewed so many fascinating people including musicians, celebrities, authors, activists, entrepreneurs, politicians and more.

A big thank you goes to Ricky Soto, NYC based Graphic Designer, who created my logo for "Should Have Listened To My Mother".

Check out my website for more background information: https://www.jackietantillo.com/

Or more demos of what's to come at https://soundcloud.com/jackie-tantillo

Find audio versions of the podcast here: https://shltmm.simplecast.com/

Spotify Link: https://open.spotify.com/show/60j14qCcks4AP3JUrWrc2M

Link to website and show notes: https://shltmm.simplecast.com/

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