A Single Mom and a Force of Nature with Guest Author Lorraine Duffy Merkl. LOOKING BACK AT S2E42

I  wanted to give you an update on Lorraine's mom, since our original publication of the episode was in November, 2021.  Lorraine's mom, Angelina, passed away in March 2023, at 100 years old. And Lorraine let me know that it was taking some time to adjust to not having her mom with her by her side. Lorraine  took care of her mother for many, many years.

I'm also attaching a copy of Lorraine's NY Times "Tiny Love Story," writing submission which was published in   September 2021.

NY TIMES "TINY LOVE STORY" : 9.19.21                "Our First Days"

In some pre-fall cleaning, I waded through more than 2,500 family photos. Only one made me cry. It wasn’t the image of me in my parochial school jumper but my mother’s note on the back of that picture: “Oct. 1964. Lorraine first grade. My first day of work.” She became a single mother when I was 2. After years out of the work force, she returned as a telephone company operator. Many of the employees were younger. My mother must have been scared. But she did it for us, and in 1984, she retired as an executive at the same company. — Lorraine Duffy Merkl

 Once Lorraine and I agreed on a date and time to record the interview, I started doing more research on her background and experience.  On her website, http://lorraineduffymerkl.com/, I found one of her demo reels from way back when she was writing and producing promos for a number of different tv networks. As I'm listening to one of her promo reels, I thought I heard something that sounded vaguely familiar.  On her promo reel for Lifetime Television  was my voice over  featured on at least 3 of her promos.  It turns out we had worked together back in the early to mid to late 90's and neither of us recalled meeting, let alone working together.  I was in the recording booth and she in the master control room. We were both in awe and thanking the universe for bringing us back together. This time I was interviewing Lorraine and asking her the questions.

Now on to the the real story of Lorraine and her mother Angelina. Angelina raised her only daughter, Lorraine, as a single mom after her husband left when Lorraine was only two years old. Yes, she had the help of her mother, Lorraine's grandmother, but it wasn't easy.  We all know that it's tough being a single parent.  But after seven years of being out of the work force, scared and nervous, mom went back to work taking an entry level position as an operator at a phone company at the age of 42.  Angelina had never gone to college yet retired decades later as an executive from that same company.

"My mom was a member of the Greatest Generation, she experienced the  Depression and poverty, went back to work though frightened and did all of this so my life would be easier," says Merkl. "Together we can fight over anything or standup to anyone," reflects Lorraine. 

In time, Angelina would reveal things to her daughter saying "I was holding on by a thread."  In order for Angelina to keep things organized at home,  she felt that she had to be tough and discipline her daughter.  Lorraine feels that her mom was "operating off of fear all the time." Again, it's understandable when your husband walks away and leaves you to raise your daughter .

Lorraine so admires her mother, "being apart brought us closer together," reflects Merkl. At 24 years old, after having moved out  on her own, she and her mother became friends and so enjoyed each other's company. "She was a giver, not a taker, helpful and kind.

At the time of this interview, Angelina is living with and being cared for by her daughter. She is 98 years old and suffering from dementia.  My guest has so many wonderful memories of her mother, including  advice for her to "stick up for yourself," "mom  always wanted me to be somebody who could stick up for themselves," says Lorraine.

Don't let anyone fool you. Angelina is one of 13 children of an Italian family and raised  in the Bronx, NY. She was very smart as well as being very street smart.  

"Should Have Listened To My Mother" is an ongoing conversation about mothers and the roles they play in our lives. And my guests answer the question, 'are you who you are today because of, or in spite of, your mother'? You'll be amazed at what the responses are.

"Should Have Listened To My Mother" would not be possible without the generosity, sincerity and insight from my guests. In getting ready to launch my podcast, so many were willing to give their time and share their personal relationships with their mother.

Some of my guests include Baritone Singer Christopheren Nomura, Pulitzer Prize Winning Journalist Tim Wacker, Activist Kim Miller, Freighter Sea Captain Terry Viscount, Film Production Manager Peg Robinson, Professor of Writing Montclair State University Dr. Bridget Brown, Tammy Steckler, attorney and family advocate @CUNY Law; NYC First Responder/NYC Firefighter Mark Heingartner, Child and Adult Special Needs Activist, Maryellen Valyo Cole and Roger Evens, Property Manager in New Jersey and so many more talented and insightful women and men.

I've worked in the broadcasting industry for over four decades. I've interviewed so many fascinating people including musicians, celebrities, authors, activists, entrepreneurs, politicians and more.

A big thank you goes to Ricky Soto, NYC based Graphic Designer, who created my logo for "Should Have Listened To My Mother".

Check out my website for more background information: https://www.jackietantillo.com/

Or more demos of what's to come at https://soundcloud.com/jackie-tantillo

Find audio versions of the podcast here: https://shltmm.simplecast.com/

Spotify Link: https://open.spotify.com/show/60j14qCcks4AP3JUrWrc2M

Link to website and show notes: https://shltmm.simplecast.com/

Spotify Link: https://open.spotify.com/show/60j14qCcks4AP3JUrWrc2M

Apple Podcasts

Facebook:

Should have listened to my mother

Jackie Tantillo

Instagram:

Should have listened to my mother

Jackietantillo7

LinkedIn:

Jackie Tantillo

YOUTUBE:

Should have listened to my mother