Sextras

Towards A Positive Masculinity (with Ben Hurst)

November 21, 2023 00:00 - 53 minutes - 97.6 MB

Our masculinity miniseries has been a little negative up until now (we’re aware of it at least!). But this week that all changes because we’re joined by Ben Hurst – activist, educator, and Head of Facilitation and Training at Beyond Equality – to discuss how we can rethink masculinity. As someone who regularly works with young boys in schools, we talk to Ben about what representation boys see of masculinity. In his Ted Talk, notes that boys will be what we teach them to be, so we talk about...

Unboxing Lovehoney's Advent Calendar & Learning How to Use Sex Toys

November 17, 2023 10:00 - 44 minutes - 81.1 MB

Christmas could not have come sooner with this episode as Lovehoney has sent us their 24-Day Advent Calendar to try and we’re opening it with their resident sexual wellness advisor, Sarah Tomchesson! We start the episode telling Sarah what we’re experimenting with in our sex lives, before diving into the calendar to find different sex toys, from vibrators, to butt plugs, cock rings and restraints. Sarah talks us through how to use different sex toys in versatile ways, whether you’re a be...

A Look Into Male Friendships

November 13, 2023 23:00 - 49 minutes - 90.8 MB

In the second episode of our Masculinity miniseries, we unpack everything to do with male friendships. While it comes as no surprise to some of us, the fact that men don’t have supportive friendships has been in the news a lot of late, with claims that there’s a male friendship recession and that men are lonelier than ever. After years of wondering what men talk to their friends about, we thought we’d find out for ourselves. In the process, we’ve probably lost all of our (admittedly, very f...

What Is Masculinity in 2023?

November 06, 2023 23:00 - 49 minutes - 90 MB

Welcome to the first episode of our Masculinity miniseries! Masculinity has been under scrutiny the last few years: on one side, there are claims that masculinity is “toxic”, “fragile” or “in crisis”, and on the other there are those who claim “not all men” are responsible for this poor perception of masculinity. While we fully support bad behaviour being held to account here at Sextras, we wanted to discuss what masculinity really means to gen z in 2023. Is masculinity good or bad? Is i...

Using Spirituality To Overcome Sexual Shame (With Kaamna Bhojwani)

September 25, 2023 22:00 - 40 minutes - 74.1 MB

In even the most accepting of households, children pick up on their parents’ beliefs about sex. If that includes restricting sex or teaching that it is inherently bad, that can lead to sexual shame that persists throughout our lives and shows up not just in our sex lives, but also in our entire emotional wellbeing. This week, we’re joined by spiritual and sexual psychologist Kaamna Bhojwani to talk about healing sexual shame through spirituality. Kaamna starts by telling us what sexual sha...

Read Porn! (With Aurore Founder Carly Pifer)

September 04, 2023 23:00 - 40 minutes - 75 MB

Have you ever had sex so good you wish you could freeze the memory in time? This week we’re joined by Carly Pifer, founder of Aurore, a curated collection of erotica written by and for women and LGBTQIA+ people, that encourages you to do just that by writing a story based on your real sex experiences. Carly tells us how she started Aurore and how erotica is different from other kinds of porn. Whereas visual porn can be limited in terms of the body types, genders and positions involved, erot...

Do Gen Z Want To Be Parents?

August 14, 2023 23:00 - 58 minutes - 107 MB

There are so many stereotypes about Gen Z it’s hard to keep track of where they’re really at: they’re a sexless generation, they’re the most sensitive because they have a victim mentality. They want to be parents, they don’t want to have babies because they’re worried about the planet; they’ll be the best parents… oh no, wait, they’ll be the worst. But parenting has changed a lot over the years and what went for one generation can completely change for another. With all the unpacking of to...

How To Talk To Your Kid About Sex (with Dr Tina Schermer Sellers)

August 07, 2023 23:00 - 1 hour - 115 MB

Raising kids is hard in a bunch of different ways, but one of the main things parents dread is having the inevitable “talk” with their children. How do you have the talk, when should you have it, what is appropriate to say: these are all questions that nobody really gives parents the answers to. But what if that one, all-important moment never needed to happen, because kids got the information they needed as they needed it growing up? Author of the incredible resource Shameless Parenting: E...

Having Sex After Birth (with Smile Makers Collection)

August 01, 2023 09:24 - 40 minutes - 73.4 MB

After having a literal human come out of you, getting little to no sleep and suddenly being entirely responsible for another human being is not exactly conducive to new parents’ sex life. But when you are at a point where you want to start having sex again, what do you do? Cecile Gasnault, brand director of Smile Makers Collection, joins us this week to tell us all about the research the company has done into having sex after birth. Mothers - being the ones who have actually given birth -...

Deciding To Have Kids & Outgrowing Relationships (with Jessica Hendry Nelson)

July 25, 2023 00:00 - 58 minutes - 106 MB

TW: substance abuse, anticipatory grief We’ve all been sold the idea that you’re meant to experiment in your 20s, something that our guest this week missed out on. Author and professor Jessica Hendry Nelson joins us to talk about being in a relationship for the whole of her 20s and eventually ending that relationship because of differing interests. Jessica starts the episode telling us about her unconventional experience of her 20s, living with her ex-husband and the fact that they didn’t ...

How Sex Changes With Age (with Beducated)

July 17, 2023 23:00 - 43 minutes - 80.4 MB

In episode one of our Family, Parenting and Sex miniseries were joined by Mariah Freya, who founded pleasure-based sex education website Beducated with her husband, to discuss how our sex lives change throughout our lives. We begin the episode hearing about Mariah’s experience with low libido in her 20s and how that influenced her and her partner to find new ways of approaching sex. Mariah explains that sex education is so rarely focused on women’s pleasure and it wasn’t until she heard abo...

Why Talk About Sex? (Our 100th episode!)

July 14, 2023 11:23 - 38 minutes - 71.2 MB

In the 100th (!) episode of the podcast, we reflect on why we always talk about sex, consent and relationships. We started the podcast three years ago and what we thought as 20 year olds about how we should talk about sex was very different to now, so we unpack how that's changed. It's obviously been extremely helpful for us to have close friends who talk about sex as much as you want to, but for everyone it's not that easy, so we also discuss why it can be hard to talk about sex but that ...

Ending Celibacy & Making a Sex Bucket List (ft the Curious Girl)

July 10, 2023 23:00 - 50 minutes - 92.8 MB

More and more people are pursuing celibacy eras, but what happens when you want to start having sex again? As Honey is clearly incapable of answering that question herself, we're joined by Layla London, anonymous host of the sex podcast the Curious Girl Diaries, who made a sex bucket list and ended her self-imposed celibacy after 3.5 years. We recorded an episode with Layla over on her podcast, which you can listen to here or wherever you get your podcasts. Layla delves into what made her ...

The Ultimatum: Queer Love Debrief

June 26, 2023 23:00 - 53 minutes - 97.4 MB

TW: domestic abuse and toxic relationships Spoilers ahead!! We thought we’d celebrate pride month (very last minute, as always) with a discussion of the Ultimatum, Queer Love. In this episode we delve into the drama of the show and unpack why we think each of the couples were doomed to failure. Listen in as we discuss gay marriage, including why people want to even get married in the first place and how the whole premise of the show is extremely queer. We then unpack each of the final c...

Am I A Lesbian? & Compulsory Heterosexuality

April 25, 2023 07:30 - 1 hour - 117 MB

Happy Lesbian Visibility Week! We’re so happy to be back talking all things compulsory heterosexuality and realising you’re a lesbian and we’re joined by the most (!) guests we’ve ever had to hear about their experiences. We start the episode discussing Adrienne Rich’s theory of compulsory heterosexuality, the lesbian masterdoc and how it can help you if you’re wondering how to know if you’re a lesbian, bisexual, pansexual or it’s just compulsory heterosexuality. We tell our own experiences...

Love Is Blind Season 4 Debrief

April 21, 2023 06:30 - 52 minutes - 97.1 MB

Nothing could bring us back from a months-long hiatus faster than Love Is Blind and we are so happy to be back, delving deep into the drama of the season and breaking down each couple. Needless to say: if you haven't watched season 4 of Love Is Blind don't listen to this episode- it will spoil it (or do, if you don't care about that kind of thing). We start the episode covering what the main 'themes' of the season were, from the recurring problems amongst the couples to questions we have ab...

Bisexual Attraction, Male Validation and Valuing Our Pleasure

February 07, 2023 00:06 - 43 minutes - 79.1 MB

In this episode we wrap up the season by looking at our own experiences of pleasure and desire, discussing whether feeling desired and experiencing pleasure are compatible. We look back at what we learnt about pleasure and desire during our miniseries, from where our attraction, fantasies and turn ons come from to learning how to experience and communicate please. We discuss how the way we communicate about sex has changed over the years and if we feel like we’re at a good place in our rel...

Let's Talk (to our partner) About Sex with Keeley Rankin

January 30, 2023 23:00 - 49 minutes - 90.4 MB

In the next episode of our pleasure and desire miniseries, we’re joined by sex and relationship coach Keeley Rankin to learn how to talk to your partner about what you enjoy during sex. We begin the episode by asking what people commonly struggle with during sex and where people’s fear of communicating about what they enjoy in the bedroom comes from. Keeley explains that often it is a mixture of things that prevent us from being able to talk about sex- first is that we don’t know what give...

Female Anatomy & the Orgasm Gap with Dr Marashi MD

January 17, 2023 00:00 - 52 minutes - 96.9 MB

In the second episode of our pleasure and desire miniseries we’re joined by Dr Amir Marashi, MD, FACS, FACOG, Founder of Cerē, the first anatomically aligned vibrator, to talk all about female anatomy and female pleasure. If you’ve not already joined our Patreon, you will want to for this episode so you can watch the full video with Dr Marashi, who has a whole load of models to demonstrate what we talk about throughout the episode! We begin by hearing about how Dr Marashi started learning a...

Good Sex: Does What We Desire Give Us Pleasure? (With Catherine Roach)

January 10, 2023 11:17 - 50 minutes - 91.6 MB

Welcome to our pleasure and desire miniseries! In this episode we’re joined by the wonderful Catherine Roach, professor of gender and cultural studies at the University of Alabama and author of the book Good Sex: Transforming America Through the New Gender and Sexual Revolution to talk all about what society teaches us about pleasure and how beauty standards determine who and what we find desirable. We begin the episode by defining what good sex actually is, does it refer to societal standa...

Celibacy Eras, Long Distance Relationships & Moving in With Your Boyfriend

January 03, 2023 11:48 - 32 minutes - 59.8 MB

Welcome to 2023! The start of this year marks a lot of changes for us, as Maria is moving to Paris tomorrow so this is our last episode recorded in our beautiful studio :( to watch the episode in full go join our Patreon (you get a ton of other benefits too!) In this episode we decided to have a look back at the things we learnt about sex and relationships in 2022, and what our relationship and sex goals are for the coming year, as well as doing a brief and questionable ins and outs list o...

Making and Keeping Friends with Shasta Nelson

December 06, 2022 09:03 - 1 hour - 125 MB

Welcome back to the final episode of our friendship miniseries! In this episode we’re joined by female friendship expert and author of Frientimacy, Shasta Nelson to talk all about making and maintaining friends. If you’d rather watch the podcast you can find the whole video episode on our Patreon: https://patreon.com/sextraspodcast?utm_medium=clipboard_copy&utm_source=copyLink&utm_campaign=creatorshare_creator&utm_content=join_link We start the episode by asking Shasta why people have diff...

What Do You Expect From A Friend?

November 29, 2022 00:00 - 51 minutes - 94.5 MB

Welcome back to our friendship miniseries! This week we started off talking about how to bring up conflict with a friend, and ended up talking about what we look for in friendship. We began the episode asking whether you find it more difficult to bring up problems with a friend or with a romantic partner, and discussing our own experiences bringing up conflict with each other. We then discuss what you should expect from a friend, and when it’s okay to bring things up if you friend isn’t fu...

When Friendships Become More Than Friendship

November 22, 2022 00:00 - 1 hour - 110 MB

JOIN OUR PATREON community to continue getting involved in these conversations and to get access to full raw video footage of each episode and exclusive bonus content: Welcome to our first episode of our first ever miniseries!! This miniseries is all about friendship and we’re kicking it off with an episode about what happens when you’re more than friends with someone. We start the episode with a segment where we ask if you’ve ever caught feelings for a friend and if you’ve ever had sex w...

Catching Up Before The New Season

November 15, 2022 00:00 - 32 minutes - 59.2 MB

Welcome back to Sextras! Your favourite sex and relationship podcast is back for season 3, baby, and to make up for a very long season break we’ve got a catch up episode where we tell you about our summers (and now...autumns) and outline everything that’s happening this season. We’re changing up the format slightly because (as you’ll know if you’re living your 20s with us) things are slightly hectic right now, so we'll be releasing episodes less frequently and in miniseries. We're kicking o...

Is Love Blind & Would You Ever Give An Ultimatum In A Relationship

July 11, 2022 23:00 - 57 minutes - 106 MB

We thought we’d surprise you with a little bonus episode we recorded a while ago in which we review Love Is Blind and The Ultimatum: Marry Or Move On, shows on Netflix, and talk about what they tell us about dating culture on a wider scale. We give our opinions on the concepts of the shows and the ways people act when put in those positions, and then attempt to answer the larger questions raised by the shows such as if love is blind and if it’s ok to give someone an ultimatum in a relations...

2 Years of Sextras & Your Confessions

June 27, 2022 23:00 - 1 hour - 115 MB

This episode is our last of the season, so we talk about what we have learnt about relationships this season, our favourite and least favourite moments and answer all of the submissions from our listeners that we have stacked up over the past few months. We begin by giving a run down of the season- which moments stood out to us, what we’ve learnt, how we’ve changed, and spill some tea about the behind the scenes of the podcast. We point you guys in the direction of certain episodes should y...

Talking With My Mum (Pt.2)

June 20, 2022 22:00 - 1 hour - 110 MB

We’re finally back with part 2 of season 1’s episode ‘Talking To My Mum,’ where we spoke to Honey’s mum. This week, we’re joined by Maria’s mum, Maria, to hear all about being a mum of four and moving from Mexico to London. We begin the episode by hearing about Maria’s upbringing in Mexico and what sex education in Mexico is like. She tells us about how sex wasn’t even spoken about when she was growing up and how this influenced how she wanted to talk to her own kids about sex and relations...

Are Gen Z Having Less Sex? With Dr Aditi Paul

June 13, 2022 23:00 - 1 hour - 125 MB

In this week’s episode we talk to the wonderful Dr Aditi Paul about her research on Gen Z hookup and dating culture. Her book The Current Collegiate Hookup Culture is out now, so please request that your local library or institution purchase it! We begin the episode by hearing about Aditi’s interest in dating and hookup trends, which inspired her to begin her research on this topic. Aditi is a professor at Pace University, so we ask her if she and her colleagues have assumptions about how g...

Talking to My Ex Girlfriend

June 06, 2022 23:00 - 58 minutes - 81.1 MB

In this week’s episode we’re talking with Honey’s ex girlfriend, Neha, all about their relationship and break up. We begin the episode by hearing about both sides of the relationship, from how they met to how the relationship progressively got worse and eventually how they broke up. If you’ve been listening to the podcast for a while, you’ll know that Honey has spoken about how her first relationship was quite toxic, and so we break down exactly what that looked like in a young queer relati...

Should Love Be Difficult? Love Languages & Expectations

May 30, 2022 23:00 - 55 minutes - 101 MB

When it comes to love, there are some people that believe love should be difficult, and some that it should be easy. In this week’s episode we attempt to answer if love should be easy or hard, discussing how to communicate your expectations and how to show love to your partner depending on their love language. We begin the episode with a segment where we ask our listeners if they think love should be hard, as well as hearing some things they are willing to compromise and things they are abs...

How Friendships Change

May 23, 2022 23:00 - 55 minutes - 101 MB

Unfortunately (or fortunately, depending on how you look at it) it is a fact of life that most friendships change over time. This week we want to talk about just that, and our experience with how friendships change in your 20s. We begin the episode with a segment where we ask you guys if you feel like your friendships have changed, and if so how. Then we did a poll asking what is worse— a friend break up or drifting apart— and if you’ve made any new friends recently. Though some friendship...

Sexting, Nudes & FaceTime Sex

May 16, 2022 23:00 - 55 minutes - 102 MB

Trigger warning: mention of SA at the end of the episode. This week we’re talking about all things sex + phone related: from sexting, taking and sending nudes and having facetime or phone sex. We begin the episode with a segment where we ask you what the best sext or nude you’ve sent or received is, and your tips for taking nudes and sexting. Then, we move on to discussing our own experiences with taking nudes and sexting, and if we enjoy doing them. Honey gives us some facetime sex tips,...

How To Give Relationship Advice To A Friend

May 09, 2022 23:00 - 54 minutes - 98.9 MB

This week we’re discussing whether other people’s relationships are your business. Though it can be helpful to get relationship advice, sometimes people offer unsolicited relationship advice when you feel as though it’s none of their business, so we break down when it’s acceptable to give relationship advice, who it’s acceptable to do it with and the reasons why you might comment on someone else’s relationship. We begin the episode with a segment where we ask you whether you think it’s appr...

Life After Uni: Maintaining Relationships, Moving Out & Travelling

May 02, 2022 23:00 - 41 minutes - 76 MB

Life after graduating uni is very confusing— for the first time in your life, you might not know what you’re going to be doing with your life for the foreseeable future. It can be easy to feel lost after university- the uncertainty of where you’re going to be living, your friendships, and your relationships can really get you down, and so this week we’re talking all about it. It’s been a year since we graduated uni, so we thought we’d have a little catch up. We tell you guys about Maria’s l...

Is Cheating Forgivable?

April 25, 2022 23:00 - 49 minutes - 91.4 MB

This week we’re talking about something that isn’t particularly pleasant for anyone to talk about, but something that definitely needs to be acknowledged when discussing sex and relationships: cheating. We begin the episode with a segment where we hear from you guys about whether you’ve ever been cheated on, or ever cheated on anybody, and if so what happened, to understand a little bit more of how many people have experienced cheating and how it affects relationships. We also ask if people...

Social Media, Relationships & Mental Health

April 18, 2022 23:00 - 44 minutes - 80.9 MB

Get 20% Off and Free Shipping with the code SEXTRAS20 at Manscaped.com. It’s time to throw out your old hygiene habits and upgrade your life! This week we’re talking all about social media— the good and the bad, and particularly how it affects our relationships with ourselves and our most important relationship- ourselves! We begin the episode with a segment where we hear from your guys’ feelings about social media, including whether you like it overall and what you hate the most about it....

Finding The Best Type of Contraception for Me

April 11, 2022 23:00 - 49 minutes - 90.2 MB

Get 20% Off and Free Shipping with the code SEXTRAS20 at Manscaped.com. It’s time to throw out your old hygiene habits and upgrade your life! This week we’re talking all things contraception! We begin the episode with a segment where we hear whether you guys are contraception, and if so if you use hormonal contraception or non hormonal/ barrier methods of contraception. We then move on to discussing our own experiences with contraception to show the different ways the same form of contrace...

Sex Worker Rights Are Human Rights with Chanelle Gallant

April 04, 2022 23:00 - 58 minutes - 107 MB

Get 20% Off and Free Shipping with the code SEXTRAS20 at Manscaped.com. It’s time to throw out your old hygiene habits and upgrade your life! #ad #manscapedpod In this week’s episode we are joined by lovely guest Chanelle Gallant, who has been a sex worker rights activist for 20 years. We begin the episode by hearing how Chanelle got into sex work activism, and why sex work activism is so important, not just for sex workers but for wider society too (hint— sex workers rights are basic huma...

Is My Attraction Normal?

March 28, 2022 23:00 - 50 minutes - 91.7 MB

In this episode we talk about attraction and the way we experience it. There are different types of attraction, and different people experience attraction differently, so discuss why that might be and how we’ve reacted to our attraction. To start, we asked how our listeners in a poll, ‘How are you attracted to people? Do you ten to like people straight away and develop crushes easily, or do you have to get to know someone first for that attraction to grow?’ Our followers were split down the...

Why Learn Your Attachment Style?

March 22, 2022 07:00 - 1 hour - 117 MB

In this episode we talk all about attachment styles from how to know your attachment style, to how attachment styles effect relationships, to some tips to change your attachment style. Obviously we are not experts, but we do know a fair bit about attachment styles from our own experience (plus we’ve done a lotttt of research). We begin the episode by breaking down insecure attachment styles: Maria tells us about what an anxious attachment style is, and Honey tells us about what an avoidant ...

Body Hair Is Normal

March 15, 2022 00:00 - 54 minutes - 99.1 MB

From before puberty, before we grow our first armpit hair, leg hair, pubic hair, women are raised to understand that this should all be removed. This week we sit down to question why, to point to the ways in which we’ve been taught to have shame about our bodies and its hair, and really examine the ways in which these messages of control have impacted us. We begin by hearing some of the messages our listeners heard about pubes and body hair growing up, (essentially to ‘shave’, that the hair...

Taking It Day By Day For 11 Years Together (with Dee)

March 08, 2022 00:00 - 1 hour - 110 MB

This week we’re talking to Dee about long term relationships. We went to school with Dee, and she’s been with her boyfriend for 11 years (since she was 15) so we ask her about the ins and outs of being in a long term relationship when young. We begin by hearing how she and her boyfriend met, or how they began dating, and later how Dee realised that she was in love and in it for the long run. We then ask about the pressures of being in a long term relationship in your teenage years and early...

Fingers, Hands, Mouths and Tongues

March 01, 2022 00:00 - 58 minutes - 107 MB

In this episode we get deep into developing a philosophy for fingering and handjobs. We attempt to unpack whether handjobs are something any penis-owning person enjoys, or thinks someone else can do better than them, and try to understand their place in sex as a whole. We begin with some polls where we ask people with penises about their handjob preferences and people with vulvas about their fingering preferences (namely whether they prefer clitoral or penetrative fingering). Then, we move ...

Break Up Lessons Learnt

February 22, 2022 00:00 - 59 minutes - 110 MB

This week we’re talking all about the lessons learnt from breakups. When you’re going through a break up it can seem like it will never end, and you’ll most likely be in a place of thinking this is the most pain you’ve ever been in, but we promise once you get through that stage (and it will end!) you’ll be able to see all the things you learnt in both the relationship and the break up. We also cover what we think should happen in the aftermath of the break up, from whether you should follow...

Non- Monogamy, Toxic Relationships & Jealousy with Rachel Krantz

February 15, 2022 00:00 - 1 hour - 121 MB

This week we’re joined by journalist, and author of the memoir ‘Open,’ Rachel Krantz to talk all about open relationships, toxic relationships, bisexuality and jealousy. We begin the episode by hearing what inspired Rachel’s book— she was dating a non monogamous man, who gave her the freedom to explore an open relationship and who her relationship with later became toxic. We then move on to learning about the different types of open relationship- from having a primary partner to practicing...

Porn, Masturbation and Wanking

February 08, 2022 00:00 - 1 hour - 120 MB

What do you think about when you masturbate? This week we’re talking all about watching porn and masturbating, or alternatively, imagining our sexual fantasies when we masturbate, as well as the ethics of watching porn. We begin the episode by asking our followers what they think about or watch when they masturbate, and if they remember the first time they masturbated. In true Sextras fashion, we look back at how our ideas about masturbating and porn were formed, from the first time we saw ...

Porn, Sexual Fantasies and Wanking

February 08, 2022 00:00 - 1 hour - 120 MB

What do you think about when you masturbate? This week we’re talking all about watching porn and masturbating, or alternatively, imagining our sexual fantasies when we masturbate, as well as the ethics of watching porn. We begin the episode by asking our followers what they think about or watch when they masturbate, and if they remember the first time they masturbated. In true Sextras fashion, we look back at how our ideas about masturbating and porn were formed, from the first time we saw ...

Mindful Masturbation + Sexual Meditation

February 01, 2022 00:00 - 36 minutes - 66.8 MB

This week we’re talking to our wonderful guest Sayra Player (Founder of Guided By Glow; actor; and writer) all about sexual meditation. For women, it can be difficult to find erotic content that turns you on, especially if you have a busy mind. Sayra founded Guided By Glow in an attempt to encourage women and couples to have mindful sex practices. In this episode, we ask what sexual meditation is, before diving into how meditation is so powerful for our lives as a whole, but particularly f...

Mindful Masturbation + Sexual Meditation (with Sayra Player)

February 01, 2022 00:00 - 36 minutes - 66.8 MB

This week we’re talking to our wonderful guest Sayra Player (Founder of Guided By Glow; actor; and writer) all about sexual meditation. For women, it can be difficult to find erotic content that turns you on, especially if you have a busy mind. Sayra founded Guided By Glow in an attempt to encourage women and couples to have mindful sex practices. In this episode, we ask what sexual meditation is, before diving into how meditation is so powerful for our lives as a whole, but particularly f...

Episodes