090: Expanding Your Capacity For Self-Love with Alexandra Harbushka

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Welcome to episode 90 of The Sex, Money and Food podcast! Today I’m talking with you about a favorite topic of mine: self-love and love in general.

On this episode of the Sex, Money, and Food Podcast, we dig into the history of love and ponder why there is only one word for love in the English language, yet there are so many uses for it! And I also share with you ways to bring more love into you life, and why doing so plays a crucial role in finding true love with a partner.

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Have you ever considered how many variations there are of love in our lives? There is romantic love of course, but also the love we feel for our family members, our pets, our favorite foods and our favorite activities. We love so many things and in different ways and use the same word for all of them!

Even though there are so many variations of love, most of us are taught that finding romantic love is the thing that will bring us the greatest joy and the most happiness. When we find “the one” we will be complete and our lives will have meaning.

But the truth is we must love ourselves first, and must find compassion for ourselves before we can truly enjoy and feel great love for our significant other.

This idea of romantic love is a fairly new concept. Love wasn't a factor in marriage for thousands of years, marriage was a business transaction between families. Marriage was security for the woman and a legacy for the man: her role was to produce an heir while he provided for her and her offspring.

The Industrial Revolution changed that. With the advent of modern technology, we were freed from many aspects of pre-industrialized living, including arranged marriages.

Along with modern conveniences, we also wanted to define ourselves and our lives, which led to people wanting romantic love in their marriages. Marriages were no longer set up by families. But women were still in a position of needing to choose a husband based on his income and/or earning potential.

We entered into these romantic love marriages with no tools to help us. Most people were not emotionally mature and didn’t know how to be a loving partner, instead acting like emotionally needy children.

Which brings us to today: most of us are still on our quest to find “the one” or we wonder if the person we are with is “the one”.

That’s where self-love comes in: it's the key to creating a great relationship. It's the key to money, sex and food; how you relate to your body through sex and food has a lot to do with how you feel about yourself, and how much you earn is a reflection of your sense of self-worth. It boils down to creating love within yourself.

Which begs the question: how do you love yourself?

Raising your self-love means sending love to the people you interact with every day. It means smiling at the person who opens the door for you at Starbucks,  the cashier at the store, your neighbor you pass while walking, etc. It means taking time to expand your capacity to love: see the sun, the rain, and the other miracles in your everyday life and be grateful for them!

On today’s show I share how I made this switch about 5 years ago, how I turned my breakups and heartaches into daily acts of self-love. I also share with you what doing so did for me, and how it can help you too! You’ll hear all of that and more on this edition of the Sex, Money, and Food Podcast!

Tweetable: “Being in love is living life.” - Alexandra Harbushka

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