Is our circle big enough?

RCL Year B, Proper 18 All around us, kids have gone back to school. Today our Sunday School began. So I want us to think about school today, too. Remember, if you will, when you were in junior high school. Take a moment and think of it. Where did you fit in when you were […]

RCL Year B, Proper 18

All around us, kids have gone back to school. Today our Sunday School began. So I want us to think about school today, too. Remember, if you will, when you were in junior high school. Take a moment and think of it. Where did you fit in when you were in junior high? Were you one of the popular ones? Were you one of the nerds? Were you a sporty jock type? Or were you one of those kids who just wanted to keep playing Legos and couldn’t understand why all your friends were talking about going on dates? Junior high. It’s the very essence of social awkwardness, worse even than high school.

I’ll tell you about my experience. When I was in junior high, my school district started changing to the middle school model, from schools of 7th-9th graders to schools of 6th-8th graders. So I finished Woodridge Elementary School at the end of 6th grade, having gone to school with the same kids since kindergarten. And all of us same kids started going to Hyak Junior High, just down the hill from our elementary school. Only there were other kids there too, all these big mature 9th graders. I still remember how big the 9th grade cheerleaders looked to me. I struggled. I tried to learn how to do my hair and wear makeup, but I was really still a little kid with glasses. But then that year the district decided to close Hyak. So all of us 7th graders scattered, redistricted into other schools that had already changed over into middle schools. So now instead of the little kid at Hyak Junior High, I was in the top class of Odle Middle School, an 8th grader. I got contacts and a perm. And I fell in with a great group of friends, girls who were smart and funny and not totally ignored by the boys – not the popular kids, but still cool enough. It was a great year. And then it ended. And we scattered again, and all of those girls I’d been friends with went to Sammamish High School, and I went to Bellevue High School, where the mean girls were not only mean, but really rich. It never got better after that.

In junior high you’re never really secure in your status. Even if you’re in the popular crowd, things can change. Your family moves to a new town. You switch schools. You do your hair wrong one day or buy the wrong color backpack, and all of a sudden you’re not in anymore, you’re out. It’s a brutal scene.

Now fast forward to the present. You’re part of a wonderful church community at ECA. What a relief. All of those bad times of being excluded and a misfit are behind you. Now people want you to sit at their table at coffee hour. They call you, they visit you in the hospital, they care about you and your kids and grandkids. This church does this stuff really well. Every single person who talks about why they started coming to ECA names the community as a major reason. It is warm and friendly and welcoming and people really care for each other, through good times and bad.

Except there’s another side to this community here, of course. Because some of you have also shared stories or concerns about people not being included as well. There are times when you don’t get invited to sit at that table, or when you’re in the hospital and no one calls, or especially, times in coffee hour when no one talks to you. I’ve heard the word ‘cliquey’ used to describe this church. And sometimes, unfortunately, I think it’s true.

Now before you go feeling all bad about this, I want to say two things. They say the role of a priest is to comfort the afflicted and afflict the comfortable. So first, a word of comfort: every community has this problem. Every group of people from time to time, inadvertently or intentionally, leaves somebody out. It’s human nature. We make friends with people who are like us – who think like us, who talk like us, who like the same things we like, even who look like us (Frances and the blond ponytail girls). It’s just something basic to our nature, the same thing that makes us group together in tribes and political parties and, well, certain churches. There are few communities that can’t be called cliquey from time to time.

But here’ s the afflicting part: it’s not ok. It’s not the gospel. We need to do better. God’s kingdom includes everybody, and that’s our charge as well.

We get this message loud and clear in our two readings today. Did you hear it? Both the letter of James and the gospel of Mark are talking, really, about church communities and who they have to include. You can hear the righteous indignation in James’ voice as he writes to his church. Are you seriously treating rich people and poor people differently in your church? Do you think this is a Christian way to be? How dare you treat someone badly because they aren’t wealthy and powerful? How dare you let those worldly distinctions into your community? It’s pretty clear, this message: everyone is equally a part of the church, the body of Christ.

And in Mark, it’s Jesus himself who learns he needs to widen his circle. The Syro-Phoenician woman, a Canaanite, a non-Jew Gentile, asks him for healing, and he turns away and insults her. But she persists, saying to him, you’re here for me too, you know. You’re not just here for your people – you’re here for everybody. And Jesus realizes that she’s right, and changes his tone. Does Jesus really need to be told this? Is this a turning point in his mission and ministry, Messiah not just to the Jews but to all people? Or is Mark using this story to tell the church not to be biased against non-Jews? We don’t really know. But again, the message is clear: all are welcome, all lay claim to God’s love through Jesus.

We’re spending the month of September celebrating our ministries at ECA. Each week we’re raising up and giving thanks and honoring a particular set of ministries, all a way of cheering ourselves on in our mission and opening our ministries up to new members. Today our focus is on pastoral care and fellowship, two kinds of ministry that ECA does really, really well. It’s right to celebrate and delight in all the things we’re already doing in these areas: the networks of care and support, how each of us serves as shepherd to the others – that’s the definition of pastoral care – caring for each other’s needs and concerns. And, too, the wonderful parties and dinners and social outings, the times when we fellowship together, get to know one another better, live out the joy of being in community with friends. We do these things well here.

And today’s readings, and our own inner junior high selves, are reminders that we can always do better. We can always look around at coffee hour and see who isn’t being talked to, and reach out to them. We can call and invite the one who hasn’t come to fellowship dinners much, who might feel awkward about not knowing people and not fitting in. We can check in with the one we don’t know that well, but who we’ve noticed looks sad, or stressed, or unwell. Maybe they need a meal cooked, or children cared for, or just a listening ear. In other words, the community we are as the body of Christ is not just a group of like-minded friends. Maybe we’re not like-minded at all – if we’re lucky, we’re all actually pretty different from each other. But we’re a little piece of the kingdom of God, diverse and different and yet also one, part of the same team.

Here’s a chance to be that kingdom, for a little while each time we gather together here at church. And here’s a chance to practice being that kingdom in the rest of our lives too. Here we can remind ourselves to widen our circle, to reach out beyond ourselves to others around us – and then to take that gift and offer it to people in our workplaces, in our schools, in all our interactions each day. Each one of us is included in God’s embrace. And God’s embrace is wide enough to take in every possible kind of person. That’s what brings us here to church, really: that inclusive, redeeming, empowering love of God in Christ. Our job is to show it, to live that out right here in this community, and beyond. May we always widen our circle, and welcome in those whom God has called. Amen.