Say The Things
139 episodes - English - Latest episode: 7 days ago - ★★★★★ - 51 ratingsAre you giving all of your energy to those around you, leaving you feeling empty, disconnected, and resentful, craving connection beyond the four walls of your home?
Do you hide behind surface level conversations because you fear being rejected. If you were to share your actual thoughts?
Do you crave more joy and laughter in your life and wish to feel normal and your uniqueness, and perhaps even accept and embrace it?
Intentionally discover who you are to clearly communicate to deepen relationship, connectivity while honoring your uniqueness.
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Episodes
124: Communication Fatigue: Escape the Exhaustion
April 11, 2024 10:00 - 10 minutes - 11.1 MBThis podcast explores communication fatigue, also known as information overload, which is a state of mental exhaustion that diminishes our ability to process more input. Contributing factors are endless digital inputs, meetings, data, multitasking, messaging, and being perpetually “on call.” Implementing boundaries, assessing communication value, scheduling focused work, practicing mindfulness, and taking device breaks can help manage this fatigue. Unplugging from devices brings back rhythms...
123: When Breezy Banter Isn’t Enough: Let Vanilla Ice Be The Way
April 04, 2024 10:00 - 8 minutes - 9.56 MBThis podcast discusses implementing focused communication tactics when you have a specific goal or issue to address. I walk through steps like identifying the core issue, naming your goal, knowing your audience, planning a clear and concise message, deciding on delivery method, addressing one issue at a time, and collaborating on solutions. Focused communication distinguishes supplemental versus essential information to have constructive conversations. There’s time for free flowing dialogue ...
122: Questions to Quiet the Overthinking Mind
March 28, 2024 10:00 - 7 minutes - 8.47 MBThis podcast continues the discussion on overthinking and introduces using targeted questions to change engrained thought patterns. I suggest asking if the issue is within your control, if you're relying on facts versus emotions, if it’s a recurring unproductive thought, and if the rumination aligns with your values. This self-questioning can disrupt negative cycles, reduce anxiety, and quiet mental chatter. I encourage listeners to implement “yes or no” self-questioning to gather insights o...
121: Over Overthinking: The Effects in Communication
March 21, 2024 10:00 - 8 minutes - 9.06 MBLearn how overthinking sabotages communication and relationships plus tips to be thoughtfully present.
120: Preparing Our Kids for Real Life
March 14, 2024 10:00 - 8 minutes - 8.82 MBDo we tell our kids the unpleasant realities of life? Or do we protect them by glossing over hard topics? Join me as I share my experiences imparting life's messy truths to help build confidence and wisdom in my children.
119: Hide Behind the Lie? Authenticity matters
March 07, 2024 10:00 - 7 minutes - 8.4 MBIn this podcast, I discuss an Instagram post of a teen's "white lies" t-shirt which leads me to question why we hide behind untruths rather than sharing what's genuinely happening in our lives; I challenge listeners to have more truthful conversations instead of superficial ones riddled with "smoke and mirrors," encouraging them to openly share when they're scared, excited, etc. I tell a story about pretending to be deaf when pulled over, questioning why we hide behind lies versus lead with ...
118: Crocodiles in Conversation: Cultivating Trust
February 29, 2024 10:00 - 7 minutes - 5.99 MBThis podcast discusses the characteristics of trustworthy people, like authenticity, consistency, integrity, humility, compassion, and resourcefulness. I share my personal struggles with trusting others after being lied to in a past relationship. I challenge listeners to evaluate their own trustworthiness by asking if they are authentic, show up for others, act with integrity and kindness, connect people, and allow others to shine. Exposing our soft underbellies makes us feel vulnerable but ...
117: Don’t Take It Personally: Growth Mindset Over Defensiveness
February 22, 2024 10:00 - 8 minutes - 9.58 MBIn this episode, I share tactics for taking things less personally when criticized. I discuss a few tactics like releasing control of others’ opinions, knowing your worth, not staking self-worth on outcomes and more. Caring deeply about our work while finding wisdom to detach from ego allows for growth. Seeing feedback as fuel for improvement rather than indictments on our character can help in responding versus reacting. This episode concludes a two-part series. https://www.instagram.co...
116: Why We Take Things Personally
February 15, 2024 10:00 - 10 minutes - 11.1 MBIn this episode, I explore reasons why people tend to take things personally when they may not actually be personal. I cover using negative self-talk as motivation, being a social perfectionist, and other traits you or others you know experience. Understanding these tendencies can help us manage our reactions better when criticized. This is part 1 of a 2 part series, next week will be tips and tricks on how to stop taking things personally. https://www.instagram.com/nicole_bachle/
115: Is Love Enough? The Valentine's Relationship Check-In
February 08, 2024 10:00 - 11 minutes - 11.8 MBIn this episode, I explore whether love alone is enough to sustain a healthy relationship over time. I discuss how respect, trust, communication, compatibility, and other factors are also critical. I suggest using Valentine's Day or February as an opportunity to check in with your partner about what matters more than love in your relationship. I offer sample questions to ask each other and reflect on. Reconnecting in this way can strengthen understanding, intimacy, and partnership. https:/...
114: The Power of Presence: Tuning In to Your Partner
February 01, 2024 10:00 - 14 minutes - 14.3 MBIn this episode, I discuss how a lack of presence can destroy relationships even more than problems can. I explain what presence means—being fully engaged in the moment with your partner without distractions. I share tips for cultivating more presence such as meditation, setting boundaries, scheduling quality time, showing gratitude, and preparing mentally. More presence facilitates better communication, connection, and intimacy. I encourage listeners to reflect on how they can be more prese...
113: Toxic Silence: How Unhealthy Quiet Can Damage Relationships
January 25, 2024 10:00 - 10 minutes - 10.4 MBIn this episode, I discuss the different types of unhealthy or "toxic" silences that can occur in relationships. These include avoidance silence, withholding information, the silent treatment, contemptuous silence and more. I explain how each of these silences can manipulate, punish, or exert control rather than facilitate open communication. I emphasize the importance of recognizing unhealthy communication patterns and calling them out in a constructive way so that we can improve understand...
112: Can Silence Connect?
January 18, 2024 10:00 - 10 minutes - 11.1 MBIn this week’s episode, I discuss intentional ways to use silence in conversations to nurture intimacy and togetherness with loved ones. Healthy silence in communication includes quiet pauses for processing emotions, considering thoughtful responses, and self-awareness growth. I also discuss cautions of using silence and sensitivity to individual’s comfort levels and careful clarification when silence is misinterpreted. Tune in and discover areas of your relationships where intentional sile...
111: Cultivating Inner Peace in Conversations to Transform Relationships
January 11, 2024 10:00 - 12 minutes - 12.3 MBIn today's episode, I connect the challenges of nurturing inner peace and its influence on my communication. We delve into the profound effects that inner peace can bring to our conversations and relationships. Exploring the automatic fear response in conversations, we discuss the nuances of physiological changes and disruptions in communication and ways to retrain our brain to achieve inner peace in familiar conversations. https://www.instagram.com/nicole_bachle/
110: The Art of Inner Peace: Strategies for Inner Calm
January 04, 2024 10:00 - 16 minutes - 15.7 MBListen for insight as I dicuss my personal journey through the chaos of the holiday season, examining the impact of negative bias on thoughts and actions. The episode includes practical steps for diffusing negativity, including acknowledging biases, altering self-talk, and reframing situations. We then explore the deeper meaning of inner peace, distinguishing it from happiness whiile discussing strategies such as meditation, self-love, and gratitude. The episide wraps up by encouragement to ...
109: The Rat Park: The Addiction Antidote
December 28, 2023 10:00 - 14 minutes - 13.8 MBAs we wrap up 2023, join me in reflecting on the profound impact of connections in our lives. Inspired by a powerful analogy about rats in cages, we explore the root of addiction—our environment. Dive into the world of "Rat Park" and discover the transformative power of meaningful relationships. From the challenges of parenting in a tech-savvy age to the societal shift towards isolation, we discuss the importance of fostering connections in our lives. Let's build our own Rat Park and combat ...
108: The Power of New Beginnings: The Fresh Start Effect
December 21, 2023 10:00 - 9 minutes - 7.29 MBToday, we explore the incredible phenomenon of the Fresh Start Effect—a psychological reset that occurs when we associate a specific point in time with a new beginning. From daily positive mindset kickstarts to annual reflections, we'll discuss practical ways to implement this powerful tool in both small and significant aspects of our lives. Join me on this journey of embracing the joy of starting anew and making every moment an opportunity for a fresh start. Links: https://www.instagram...
107: Navigating Gender Dynamics in Assertive Communication
December 14, 2023 10:00 - 14 minutes - 11.9 MBJoin me as we revisit assertive communication, this time exploring the intriguing interplay between gender and communication styles. Drawing from Debra Tannen's research, we uncover the nuances that shape how men and women express themselves. Learn to overcome objections, navigate double standards, and embrace assertive responses that foster understanding and growth.
106: Assertive Communication: Practical Tips for Everyday Communication
December 07, 2023 10:00 - 10 minutes - 8.65 MBWelcome to another episode exploring assertive communication. Today we discuss practical strategies for enhancing assertiveness, starting with self-reflection to understand our default communication style. Active listening becomes a crucial skill as we learn to decode language, tone, and nonverbal cues, distinguishing assertiveness from aggression. The benefits of assertive communication, such as fostering understanding, resolving conflicts, and building healthier relationships, are unc...
105: Assertive Communication: Discover Your Communication Superpower
November 30, 2023 10:00 - 9 minutes - 9.82 MBToday we begin our two-part exploration into the empowering world of assertive communication. Discover how to express your thoughts, set boundaries, and strengthen your relationships and harness healthy assertive superpowers. Episode links and quotes: https://www.instagram.com/nicole_bachle/ “Being assertive require honest self-disclosure. Assertive people communicate honestly and directly; they express feelings, needs and ideas and stand up for their rights, but do so in ways that d...
104: The Art of Letting Go: Navigating Forgiveness
November 23, 2023 10:00 - 12 minutes - 12.7 MBIn this episode, we discuss the profound impact of forgiveness on our emotional well-being and growth. Reflecting on the complexities of the forgiveness process, we examine the importance of shifting perspectives, practicing self-compassion, and releasing the burdens of grudges. Join us as we navigate the transformative journey of self-discovery and resilience, offering insights into the power of empathy, acceptance, and setting healthy boundaries for emotional freedom. https://www.instagr...
103: Holiday Ease Please: Bring Ease into the Season
November 16, 2023 10:00 - 11 minutes - 11.9 MBIn this episode, we open the door to the art of embracing ease this holiday season. Discussing the significance of setting realistic expectations and the power of prioritizing self-care, we uncover practical strategies for simplifying traditions and creating meaningful moments with loved ones. Emphasizing the value of mindfulness and the importance of setting boundaries, we explore the impact of gratitude in fostering a sense of joy and connection during this festive time. Listen to discover...
102: Is All Fair in Love & War? Embracing the Art of Fighting Fair
November 09, 2023 10:00 - 13 minutes - 13.4 MBToday we discuss the gentle art of fighting fair and nurturing healthy communication in relationships. Discover practical tips and insights on how to engage in constructive dialogue, fostering understanding and mutual growth. https://www.instagram.com/nicole_bachle/ https://brenebrown.com/
101: The Four Horsemen of the Conflict Apocalypse: Which Horse Do You Ride?
November 02, 2023 09:00 - 14 minutes - 13.9 MBToday, we're taking a cue from relationship guru John Gottman, exploring the Four Horsemen of the Communication Apocalypse - Criticism, Contempt, Defensiveness, and Stonewalling. These toxic communication patterns can wreak havoc on even the strongest relationships, leading to emotional disconnect and lasting damage. Remember, conflicts aren't about winning or losing, but rather nurturing love and connection. So, let's strive to communicate with empathy, seeking common ground and understandi...
100: A Glimpse into My Life
October 26, 2023 09:00 - 12 minutes - 10.4 MBIn this special 100th episode, you are invited to an intimate glimpse into my life, sharing personal reflections on the delicate balance between comfort and growth. I share challenges of managing physical and emoational parts of life, marriage and parenting. We end with musings on finding equilibrium and stability amidst life's uncertainties, this episode is a gentle reminder of the intricate connection of human experiences and emotions. Connect with me on IG https://www.instagram.com/n...
099: Top 5 Types of Listening to Implement
October 19, 2023 09:00 - 12 minutes - 10 MBWelcome to "Say the Things." In this episode, we discuss the art of listening, exploring its various forms and how they enhance our connections. We uncover the benefits of improved listening and emphasize the importance of persisting in this practice, even when it feels one-sided. Join me as we unravel the power of attentive and empathetic listening, fostering deeper understanding and meaningful engagement in our lives. https://www.instagram.com/nicole_bachle/ “I remind myself every mor...
098: Types of Relational Communication: The Overview
October 12, 2023 09:00 - 9 minutes - 7.93 MBIn today's episode, we're exploring the various types of relational communication that play a pivotal role in building meaningful connections. Whether you're in a long-term relationship or seeking to enrich your friendships, understanding these communication styles will empower you to strengthen your bonds. Join me on this journey to unlock the secrets of effective communication. https://www.instagram.com/nicole_bachle/
097: I Can't Hold Back: Some Psychology of What's You Holding Back in Communication
October 05, 2023 09:00 - 10 minutes - 9.47 MBWelcome to another episode of Say The Things, dedicated to helping you navigate the complexities of connection and communication. In this episode, we discuss some psychology behind why we sometimes hold back in expressing our thoughts and feelings. Understanding these psychological factors is the first step toward more authentic and enriching relationships. Join us as we discuss psychological reasons for holding back and reasons to move forward. Instagram link: https://www.instagram.co...
096: What about Season 3
September 28, 2023 09:00 - 4 minutes - 3.76 MBIn this podcast episode, we quietly celebrate the fourth anniversary of our journey, despite missing the actual date due to a commitment to our summer series. The podcast originated from a place of loneliness, seeking more in life than the confines of home. Life, as discussed, isn't just black and white but embraces the "and" philosophy, acknowledging the coexistence of conflicting emotions. The upcoming season will focus on strengthening meaningful relationships, inspired by personal experi...
095: Nonverbal Cues: Summer Series 2023
September 14, 2023 12:05 - 4 minutes - 3.71 MBIn the final episode of our series on relational communication, we discuss the vital role of nonverbal communication, which accounts for 70 to 90 percent of our messages. Let’s be self-aware of our body language, facial expressions, and tone of voice during conversations. The episode also encourages observing both positive and negative nonverbal cues in others to enhance interpersonal relationships.
094: Clear & Concise: Summer Series 2023
August 31, 2023 09:00 - 6 minutes - 7.28 MBWelcome back to “Say the Things.” In this installment of our summer series on the top 7 issues in Relational Communication, we're delving into the topic of being clear and concise with our words. Our communication has a profound impact on the quality of our relationships and interactions. Join us as we explore the importance of clarity, how to achieve it, and the challenges that can arise when our audience isn't ready for straightforward conversations. Episode Quotes and Links: https://w...
093: Boundaries: Summer 2023 Series
August 17, 2023 09:00 - 7 minutes - 6.25 MBCreating, implementing and maintaining boundaries is only part of successful boundaries. Don’t skip the step of communication. Listen to when and how to communication boundaries. Episode Quotes and Links “Stop asking why they keep doing it and start asking why you keep allowing it.” ~Anonymous “Whatever you are willing to put up with, is exactly what you will have.” ~Anonymous “Give yourself permission to envision a big life, a happy life. Accept your greatness. Don’t settle! Yo...
092: Making Assumptions: Summer 2023 Series
August 03, 2023 09:00 - 4 minutes - 3.93 MBMaking assumptions is one of the top seven disconnects in our interpersonal relationships. Listen for a few tips and tricks to keep you from making assumptions and helping communication in your relationships become clearer. Episode quotes and links: https://www.instagram.com/nicole_bachle/ “When you speak openly and honestly, you won’t have to make assumptions. The day you stop making assumptions, you will communicate cleanly and clearly, and achieve impeccability with your wor...
091: Resolve Conflict: Summer 2023 Series
July 20, 2023 09:00 - 10 minutes - 8.1 MBResolving conflict varies in each situation with each person. Listen for skills to implement into your life to help resolution become the norm. Episode quotes and links: https://www.instagram.com/nicole_bachle/ “To solve a problem you have to recognize your share of the responsibility. If you only blame the others, you will never solve it.” Unknown
090: Express Emotions: Summer 2023 Series
July 06, 2023 09:00 - 7 minutes - 5.78 MBExpressing emotions in productive ways can be tricky. Listen to an easy 4 step process to keep communication in your most important relationships healthy. Episode quotes and links: https://www.instagram.com/nicole_bachle/ “Unexpressed emotions will never die. They are buried alive and will come forth later, in uglier ways.” Sigmund Freud Emotions Charts: https://www.amazon.com/Laminated-Feeling-Borgman-Emotions-Theraputic/dp/B07C4615TX/ref=asc_df_B07C4615TX/?tag=hyprod-20&link...
089: Active Listening: Summer '23 Series
June 22, 2023 09:00 - 10 minutes - 8.08 MBThis summer we are covering the Top Seven Issues in Relational Communication. Today we discuss active listening, listening to understand. Episode quotes and links: https://www.instagram.com/nicole_bachle/ “The most basic of all human needs is the need to understand and be understood. The best way to understand people is to listen to them.” Ralph G Nichols Quotes from Apple TV Ted Lasso
088: Summer Series Intro: Top 7 Issues with Relational Communication
June 08, 2023 09:00 - 6 minutes - 7.97 MBSummer allows more time with family and friends than most other time of the year. This summer we will cover the Top Seven Issues in Relational Communication. Each episode will cover one of the seven issues. Episode quotes and links: https://www.instagram.com/nicole_bachle/ “You don’t have to cheat to lose someone. You can lose someone from a lack of communication, attention and disrespect. It’s not always what you do, sometimes is about what you didn’t do.” Unknown “Every actio...
087: Communicating Invisible Labor
May 25, 2023 09:00 - 11 minutes - 11.6 MBLast episode we learned about Invisible Labor. Today we discuss how and when to communicate areas you want or need help and reasons your conversation may not be met with ease. Everyone has invisible labor, most of what happens inside the home is taken by the females. Have the conversations, improve the balance of work inside the home. https://www.instagram.com/nicole_bachle/
086: What is Invisible Work?
May 11, 2023 09:00 - 10 minutes - 8.46 MBInvisible work, the thinking that goes into managing work, family and households. This phrase entered my world a few months ago and I’ve been doing some research to bring this to you. This is part one of a two - maybe three part series. Today we define and start understand what invisible labor is. Next episode we will discuss how to communicate invisible labor to those in our house. Episode Quotes and Links https://www.instagram.com/nicole_bachle/ “A reminder, in itself, takes tr...
085: The Cost of Silence
April 27, 2023 09:00 - 7 minutes - 6.27 MBWe have spoken words that have cost us. Have you ever considered the cost of silence? The cost of not sharing the important, necessary words of your heart to those around you? Listen for phrases you can make your own to open the door to conversation you have held silent. Episode Links and Quotes Freedom is not free - from The Korean War Veterans Memorial, Washington DC https://www.instagram.com/nicole_bachle/
084: Show Up ... For Yourself
April 13, 2023 09:00 - 11 minutes - 8.83 MBTo show up and be present for others is one of the greatest gifts we can offer. Showing up for ourself is equally important. Learn to implement a few easy ways to build a more trusting relationship with yourself. Episode Links and Quotes: https://www.instagram.com/nicole_bachle/ “Maybe life isn’t about avoiding the bruises. Maybe it’s about collecting the scars to prove we showed up for it.” ~unknown
083: I Am Here... and the time I met the mistress
March 30, 2023 09:00 - 12 minutes - 10.3 MBI am here- a few weeks ago I was listening to a podcast (I cannot recall which one) and the guest was sharing that's the way a friend greets others. I've lets those words roll around in my mind and spent time practicing that concept since I heard it. What does it mean and how can we say "I am here" or our own version of it to welcome ourselves and those we are with into present, real conversation. I also share my brief introduction to my mistress in my former marriage. Episode Quo...
082: What to Say to Grief
March 16, 2023 09:00 - 17 minutes - 13.6 MBGrief is a part of all life, we cannot escape it. Communicating to people we love in their grief is challenging. We want our words to bring comfort, we need to get comfortable being uncomfortable and show up with love and words that connect or maybe silence is the answer. Listen for ideas of what to say and what not to in these uncomfortable moments. Episode Quotes and Links: https://www.instagram.com/nicole_bachle/ "Grief is not a medical disorder to be cured. Grief is not sp...
081: Your Story Could Be The Story
March 02, 2023 10:00 - 7 minutes - 6.2 MB“The Story” by Brandi Carlisle inspired this episode. We have read or heard stories that helped us, guided us, changed us. The story helps when it's shared. Your story doesn’t mean anything if you don’t share it. Go share your story. Episode Quotes and Links “Your life is your story. Write well. Edit often.” Unknown “Share your story with someone. You never know how one sentence of your life story could inspire someone to rewrite their own.“ - unknown “One day you will tell ...
080: 3 Ways to Use Music to Communicate
February 16, 2023 10:00 - 12 minutes - 9.61 MBMusic is said to be the window to our soul. Listen to three ways we can bring music into commuication whether it be a new acquaintace, a relationship that's stagnant or to deepen and connect in new ways. Episode Quotes and Links https://www.instagram.com/nicole_bachle/ “Music doesn’t get in. Music is already in. Music simply uncovers what is there, makes you feel emotions that you didn’t necessarily know you had inside you, and runs around waking them all up. A rebirth of sorts.” Ma...
079: Cognitive Restructuring in Communication
February 02, 2023 10:00 - 13 minutes - 10.7 MBRelationships are built on communication. We are creatures of habit and our conversations tend to follow habits formed by our thoughts. We can begin to have automatic responses to conversations or topics that create cycles of confrontation. Learn the fundamentals of Cognitive Restructuring or Cognitive Reframing as a 4-step process of mindfulness to break the cycle for intentional, productive conversations. Episode Links and Resources: https://www.instagram.com/nicole_bachle/ https:...
078: Communication Goal 2023
January 19, 2023 10:00 - 7 minutes - 8.77 MBNew Year, New You is a phrase that's often said to begin the year, or we set resolutions or choose a word or phrase of the year to focus on to improve during the year. Do we consider setting communcation goals? Is there a relationship you would like to see communication improve this year? Listen for ideas to improve relational communication in 2023. https://www.instagram.com/nicole_bachle/
077: 3 Questions to Reflect & Prepare
December 15, 2022 10:00 - 12 minutes - 9.85 MB2022 is wrapping up. Listen to three questions to consider when reflecting on 2022 and to set intentions for 2023. Wishing you a Merry Christmas and Happy New Year. Episode Quote & Link: Look Back by Mar Healy http://marhealy.com/2019/03/09/look-back/
076: Trust Again
December 01, 2022 10:00 - 15 minutes - 14.5 MBTrust is essential in healthy relationships. Today we discuss ways to allow relationships that have been damaged by lies to heal when we learn to trust. Note: This is about trusting healthy people again, there are people that are not trustworthy or healthy. Episode Quotes and Resources: “There is a surrendering to your story and then a knowing that you don’t have to stay in your story.” Colette Baron Reid “Learning to trust is one of life’s most difficult tasks.” Isaac Watts. G...
075: Persuasive Communication
November 17, 2022 10:00 - 12 minutes - 9.78 MBDoes it feel like no one hears what you are saying and your words are not initiating change? Listen to the 7 steps to improve your persuasive communication. Quotes and Links “If you can't convince them, confuse them.” Harry S. Truman “You have to get around and listen to what people are saying. Dewey learned that in ’48. He didn’t listen, he just talked - and he didn’t say much either.” Harry S. Truman https://www.highconflictinstitute.com