Savage Lovecast artwork

Savage Lovecast

889 episodes - English - Latest episode: 3 days ago - ★★★★★ - 5.9K ratings

Dan Savage, America's only advice columnist, answers your sex questions and yaps about politics. To record a question for Dan to be answered in a later podcast, record your question and send it to [email protected], or call 206-302-2064. For a much longer version of the show, with no ads, visit savage.love and get yourself a subscription.

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Episodes

Savage Lovecast Episode 909

March 26, 2024 11:00 - 50 minutes

So, is he gay? The evidence: He likes sucking wieners, anal play, and he has a sex machine that he uses on his butt. Also, he is showing less and less interest in having sex with the caller, and when she asks him about it he responds "Is sex all you care about?"  An anxious cougar is suspicious of the young men who hit on her. Why would they want to be with someone twice their age? She knows she should count her blessings, and her friends all roll their eyes at her discomfort. How can she get...

Savage Lovecast Episode 908

March 19, 2024 11:00 - 53 minutes

You guys! We are in crisis! There are just not enough hot young women! DO. THE. MATH. A woman is dating a trans woman. Her girlfriend recently got bottom surgery, and wants to try being penetrated with an actual penis, as opposed to a toy. Should the caller allow for an open relationship to accommodate this? Strap in folks, we're unveiling a new extra spicy segment of the show called "What Are you Doing?" Dan reaches out to folks who are doing amazing things in the world of sex, and asks them...

Savage Lovecast Episode 907

March 12, 2024 11:00 - 47 minutes

"Ewww! Blood!" That's what her boyfriend says whenever she even mentions her menstrual cycle. Should she try to educate him as to why this is immature and offensive to a lady with lady parts?  Dan has a conversation with a man whose wife is unilaterally opening their relationship. Can their marriage withstand his wife getting a tattoo from her new lover?  On the Magnum, Dan talks to fellow term-coiner Lara Starr, who came up with the name "Sister Ex" to describe the powerful relationship that...

Savage Lovecast Episode 906

March 05, 2024 12:00 - 44 minutes

A 27 year-old divorced woman goes to bars and picks up both men and women. She prefers them to be at least 10 years older because (as everyone knows,) they are better in bed. How can she find people in this age range, and keep their attention? A young, gay hottie hasn't had sex in 2 years because he wants more of a connection than casual hook-ups. But when he does connect, he loses interest quickly. How can he get over his analysis paralysis? Our guest this week is Molly Roden Winter, author ...

Savage Love Episode 906

March 05, 2024 12:00 - 44 minutes

A 27 year-old divorced woman goes to bars and picks up both men and women. She prefers them to be at least 10 years older because (as everyone knows,) they are better in bed. How can she find people in this age range, and keep their attention? A young, gay hottie hasn't had sex in 2 years because he wants more of a connection than casual hook-ups. But when he does connect, he loses interest quickly. How can he get over his analysis paralysis? Our guest this week is Molly Roden Winter, author ...

Savage Lovecast Episode 905

February 27, 2024 12:00 - 56 minutes

A woman's 60 year-old dad has taken in a much younger woman of dubious repute. She is a massage therapist, and has been cleaning her father's house. Her father claims that taking her in is just the Christian thing to do. The caller worries her father is being taken advantage of- she and her brother don't like it one little bit. Should she refuse to see her father under he kicks the girl out?  A man has discovered his love for kink later in life. Now he's dating and scaring women away when he ...

Savage Lovecast Episode 904

February 20, 2024 12:00 - 54 minutes

Why is it always men that are into foot fetishes?  And speaking of feet, a woman has a pair of fetish shoes that no longer fit. She wants to make sure they go to a loving home, but how?  Our guest this week is Peter McGraw, author of "Solo: Building a Remarkable Life of your Own." In this antidote to Valentine's Day, Dan and Peter talk about how and why more people are choosing to be single these days. We should perhaps give up on the outdated idea that happiness must be bundled with monogamo...

Savage Lovecast Episode 903

February 13, 2024 12:00 - 59 minutes

A hearty Valentine's Day to all of you freaky, perverted, lovelorn wretches. We begin the show with a humdinger of a call from a man whose wedding night is shaping up to be very special indeed.  A married woman shares a phone with her husband. She notices that the ads served on his Instagram feed are very different from what she sees. He sees AI generated, photo-shopped sex vixens. She's treated to arts & crafts blogs. Is Insta pushing sexual images based on his basic demographic? (Straight d...

Savage Lovecast Episode 902

February 06, 2024 12:00 - 54 minutes

We are still shocked that Ezra Klein (of the NYT and the Ezra Klein Show) agreed to come on our smutty little podcast. They talked about Ezra's time as a monogamous straight man embedded in San Fransisco's polyamorous culture. They compared the current NYC hipster version of the poly scene vs San Fransisco's meld of tech bros and hippies. And they talk about how the nuclear family is failing as a functional support system. Some of this great convo is on the Micro, and the whole thing is on th...

Savage Lovecast Episode 901

January 30, 2024 12:00 - 52 minutes

"Enough with the poly! " Or so says this gay man, who is sick of being disrespected by his boyfriend catting around, acting like a no-good cad and using polyamory as a shield.  Meanwhile, can't a homo in the rural West have nice, no-strings-attached hook-ups anymore? All the men he meets want to get married or something.  On the Magnum, Dan brings on comedian Dulcé Sloan from The Daily Show to talk about the perils of dating menfolk. Apparently, it's dangerous out there.  And, a woman's boyfr...

Savage Lovecast Episode 900

January 23, 2024 12:00 - 55 minutes

A man's wife had to quit drinking due to a medical condition. They used to get tipsy and have wild sex. Now that she can't drink the sex has become rote and inhibited. They plan to go on vacation together, but the caller feels that if they can't have their free-wheeling sex, he doesn't want go on vacation at all.  Don't you want to hear Dan's conversation with an adult baby/diaper lover? Yes, yes you do.  On the Magnum, a gay man is looking for the most penis-like sex toy he can find that doe...

Savage Lovecast Episode 899

January 16, 2024 12:00 - 55 minutes

A gay man's best friend has such a devastating crush on him, that they can't be friends anymore. The caller begged him to try to get over it. But crushes are crushing. Is there anything this (platonically) jilted caller can do?  Here's the scenario: A straight, divorced woman starting dating a *wonderful* man, and they started seeing each other exclusively. He really is spectacular. But then she received a message on Instagram from a woman claiming to be his other girlfriend, who also thinks ...

Savage Lovecast Episode 898

January 09, 2024 12:00 - 52 minutes

Happy Feast of the Ass for all who celebrate! A gay man is fed up with the guys who try to use the gym as their personal hook-up site. When the leering moves into harassment, should he tell management? Or is this just to be expected in gay male spaces?  A recently divorced straight man is hot to trot. He dates casually, but catches feelings so soon, that he scares off the women. How can he learn to take it slow?  On the Magnum, we are delighted to welcome Damona Hoffman back to the show. List...

Savage Lovecast Episode 897

January 02, 2024 08:00 - 47 minutes

A German lesbian was propositioned by a younger grad student. (This sounds like a porno but it's not.) The grad student was raised in a conservative environment, and it's the first time she's ever spoken of her female attraction. They only have a month before they both move away. Should the caller get down with the girl or restrain herself? In a very different call, a gay man has applied for a job at the church he used to volunteer for when he was much younger. Why did he quit, you ask? The c...

Savage Lovecast Episode 896

December 26, 2023 12:00 - 49 minutes

A lesbian has a terrible bullshit detector. She keeps falling for lies and getting conned. How can our credulous heroine protect herself from lying liars?  A man and his ex- girlfriend are utterly estranged. She has cut off all contact from him. But he noticed that she is still using his Netflix password. What's more, he can see what she's watching and when. He doesn't mind letting her mooch off his subscription, but it feels like an invasion of her privacy to see what she's viewing. His ques...

Holiday Extra: A City on Mars

December 21, 2023 12:00 - 53 minutes

For this very special Sex & Politics, we invite you to leave your earthly cares behind and explore with us what sex would be like...in space!  It turns out, it will be terrible. Dr. Kelly and Zach Weinersmith, authors of "A City on Mars," are on to talk about the difficult logistics of both recreational and procreational sex on Mars. Learn about a sex test using geckos, the "snuggle tunnel," and, how we must use the "rocket equation" to answer Dan's question: "How far can you shoot a load in ...

Savage Lovecast Episode 895

December 19, 2023 12:00 - 45 minutes

Dick pic backfire! When a woman received an image of her sexting partner's wiener, she was distressed to see small white bumps adorning his penis. Could it be HPV? That's bad, right? Should she tell him? Does he know already?  Ah, the folks you'll meet online...A woman connected with a man via Tinder who claimed to have regular vacation sex with his mother. She then found a Reddit community full of folks all claiming the same thing. Is this real? Do we have to date men who have sex with their...

Savage Lovecast Episode 894

December 12, 2023 12:00 - 50 minutes

A married gay man endured a sexless relationship for 10 long years... until he didn't. After cheating, he is getting a divorce. But now the caller feels villainized, as his ex-husband spins the story out to their friends. How can he avoid being painted as the bad guy?  A dad just got a delicious Prince Albert piercing. How can he explain this new jewelry when his young son sees it?  On the Magnum: when your career focuses on education around sexually transmitted infections, you are a very bus...

Savage Lovecast Episode 893

December 05, 2023 12:00 - 53 minutes

When drunk friends pounce! A happily married, monogamous man went to a concert with his gal pal. But she arrived so drunk, staggering around and embarrassing herself, that he had to bundle her in a car and get her home. But she made sloppy moves on him, and although it's been a long time, he can't let it go or fully forgive her. Should he confront her? Will she even remember?  A man has been hanging out with and flirting with a woman, letting the sexual tension build. But he and his ex are be...

Savage Lovecast Episode 892

November 28, 2023 12:00 - 47 minutes

When telling a hook-up that you don't want to continue seeing them, how much detail should you give? A woman enjoyed the sex with her quickie guy, but he was too insecure and needy for her tastes. Should she tell him this in the exit interview?  A lesbian was terribly bullied in school by three mean girls. She moved to Europe, came out and got her life together. One of the mean girls has been messaging her and flirting, asking her out for drinks for when she visits. So, to put it bluntly, sho...

Savage Lovecast Episode 891

November 21, 2023 12:00 - 49 minutes

A pansexual woman and her new lover got an unpleasant surprise...gonorrhea! But nothing makes sense. They had both tested negative and he claimed he wasn't sleeping with anyone else. Did she get it from her sex toys? What happened here?  A woman was messing around with a married man for a while. He always closed his eyes during sex, and never wanted her to talk. He even covered her mouth once when she tried to speak. She broke it off, but wonders what was going on in his tortured mind.  On th...

Savage Lovecast Episode 890

November 14, 2023 12:00 - 47 minutes

Cock blocked...by his own sister?! A man and his sister are very close, living in the same town. He developed a crush on one of her friends, but she forbade him from asking her out. The sister used to date his friends now and again, which he encouraged. Should he risk angering his sister and ask the girl out already? A woman is interested in trying anal sex. Does she have to change her diet in order to prepare for the big night?  On the Magnum, feel like throwing a party? How about a SEX PART...

Savage Lovecast Episode 889

November 07, 2023 12:00 - 44 minutes

A midwife has recently learned that people who were born with a tongue-tie might have trouble giving oral sex later in life. Should she advise new parents to get their newborns surgery on their itty-bitty little baby tongues?  A woman has started crying during sex, and not the joyful release kind of crying. She has no history of trauma or abuse. So why does sex bring on such unhappy feelings?  On the Magnum, musical theater nerds rejoice! This one's for you. Dan brings on writer and actress J...

Savage Lovecast Episode 888

October 31, 2023 11:00 - 47 minutes

A woman's casual partner like to sext her before they meet up. He tends to obsess over the things she's told him she won't do. Is he pushing her boundaries intentionally, trying to get to "Yes," or is he just fantasizing? In any case she wishes he would knock it off.  A gay man wonders if it's ok to take performance enhancing drugs so he can accommodate the horny twinks in his dungeon.  On the Magnum, Dan chats with TikTok dreamboat Connor Clary from the Five Star Review podcast. There's noth...

Savage Lovecast Episode 887

October 24, 2023 11:00 - 44 minutes

Is there a homo bro code? A man hooked up with his casual boyfriend’s roommate. Then the boyfriend moved away and they broke up peacefully. Now the caller is worried about resuming his hook-ups with the roommate for fear his ex’s friends will find out and revolt. Does this happen in gayland? A woman is willing to indulge in hot-wifing to please her husband. She met a new guy, but finds she gets so worked up and horny that it eats up all the headspace in her already busy life. How can she lear...

Savage Lovecast Episode 886

October 17, 2023 11:00 - 45 minutes

A masochistic woman is happily paired with her sadist. They both love it when he bites her. But lately, she’s become more sensitive, maybe because she stopped taking hormonal birth control. In the past few sessions, she had to use her safe word and he’s beginning to sulk. How can they get back to the rough love bites they both crave? 33 eggs: That’s how many of a woman’s eggs are sitting in a test tube somewhere, awaiting fertilization. She is in her mid 30s, and is about to marry her 42 year...

Savage Lovecast Episode 885

October 10, 2023 11:00 - 42 minutes

A man’s dad is deeply, absurdly closeted. He has been married to the caller’s mother for decades, but could never admit the truth. Now the caller’s mom has dementia and angrily brings it up to shame her husband in front of her sons. Should the caller tell his dad that he knows he’s gay? Should he tell his mother to stop being so cruel?  Hear the agonizing tale of the woman whose boyfriend of 3 months ghosted her without explanation. Spooky.  Our Magnum guest this week is Bryan Safi from the “...

Savage Lovecast Episode 884

October 03, 2023 11:00 - 46 minutes

A man has discovered his love for wearing feminine clothing. His friends and fiancé are all supportive. But his brother- not so much. Should the caller just expect to move through the world offending people with his unconventional dress?  A gay transman has started having kinky hookups. Although he doesn’t want the intimacy associated with “after-care” he does need a little TLC after the more rough encounters. How can he give that to himself? On the Magnum, Dan speaks with infectious disease...

Savage Lovecast Episode 883

September 26, 2023 11:00 - 41 minutes

A 24 year-old single woman wants to learn how to perform dirty talk, but she has no one to practice on. How can she learn the dark art?  A woman is newly out of her bad relationship, and into a joyful era of slutting around. She’s happy as a clam, but when her parents ask about her love life, they treat her like a sad spinster. How can she explain that she’s doing JUST FINE without going into too much detail? On the Magnum, have you heard of the movie “Caligula?” It was a 1979 film produced b...

Savage Lovecast Episode 882

September 19, 2023 11:00 - 44 minutes

We start the show with two ass-tastic calls! A domme woman has a pet boy who wants to eat things out of her butt. He suggests licorice. Any ideas for safe food items to be served out the back? And, another woman jokingly asked her husband to eat the dried mango slices he so adores off her ass. When he complied, she discovered that she really, really liked it. How can she get him to keep doing it, even though she knows it’s terribly weird?  A lovely, curvy woman in Paris can’t find men to date...

Savage Lovecast Episode 881

September 12, 2023 11:00 - 52 minutes

A woman is enjoying a new friends-with-benefits relationship. She booked them an airBnB, but he had to cancel because his mother had a stroke. Now she feels insecure about him. Should she keep reaching out to try to make the tryst happen? Or wait and give him space? Is he lying about his mother?  A sub, masochist woman is into intense head-trips with her dom online-only play partner. He went too far into violent story-telling until she had to end the session. He responded kindly and appropria...

Savage Lovecast Episode 880

September 05, 2023 11:00 - 50 minutes

We open the show with two questions from people who think they are aromantic. One of them is a woman with two sweet boyfriends, but worries she’s not giving each of them what they deserve. The other is a gay man who has never felt the jolt and tingle of new love. Will he ever be swept off his feet?  Our caller is starting a female-only book club reading works by, for and about women. A male friend of hers offered to be their naked servant, making drinks and offering snacks to the clothed atte...

Savage Lovecast Episode 879

August 29, 2023 11:00 - 51 minutes

A transman is under deep cover in his hostile, misogynistic, anti-queer work environment. And what’s more, one of his co-workers is probably a closet case who has a crush on the caller! Complicated! Dangerous! A straight man has become dependent on anal sex in order to come. Did porn hijack his erotic life? His previous girlfriend was into it, but how can he find another willing partner? On the Magnum, Dan brings on Sex Therapist Claire Perelman to talk about some of the problems that plague ...

Savage Lovecast Episode 878

August 22, 2023 11:00 - 54 minutes

“Son, I’m open.” A gay man has a great relationship with his son. They hang out together, and the son drops by all the time. The caller has a boyfriend who also get along with his son. But what the son doesn’t know, is that they have an open relationship, so sometimes the caller welcomes other men into his house. What if his son drops by then? Should he explain his open relationship ahead of time? A woman’s boyfriend proposed to her in a public, grand gesture. She hated it. They had never dis...

Savage Lovecast Episode 877

August 15, 2023 11:00 - 55 minutes

A woman hooked up with a seemingly nice guy. She asked him to wear a condom, and he said he did. But after he left, she couldn’t find evidence of the condom- no wrapper, nothing. Did he stealth her? Should she call him and ask?  Ureaplasma: What’s this fresh new STI? Dan is stumped, so he brings on Dr. Ina Park, his go-to expert on sexually transmitted diseases.  On the Magnum, Dan chats with Shallelujah the twitch streamer with a sexy, sexy voice. They talk about parlaying a great voice (and...

Savage Lovecast Episode 876

August 08, 2023 11:00 - 51 minutes

Oh Lordy, hear the tale of the twisted teen! He’s been sneaking into neighbors’ houses and stealing their sex toys, including some from elderly women. How dangerous is this kid? Should someone call the cops? How can his long-suffering mother correct him and end this behavior? What do you do when you’re disgusted by your girlfriend squirting? What do you do when you’re repulsed by your boyfriend coming in your mouth? Two separate calls, one conundrum.  On the Magnum, Dan and Atlantic writer Fa...

Savage Lovecast Episode 875

August 01, 2023 11:00 - 52 minutes

“Goodbye son, I’m off to Kink Camp!” A gay caller’s dad got divorced, came out as poly, and won’t shut up about it. He introduces the caller to all the girlfriends and brags about his various exploits. Our poor caller doesn’t want to hear the various details. How can he set some reasonable boundaries with his horndog dad?  A woman’s spiritual leader is a Buddhist who leads meditation and holds counseling sessions. He’s 20 years her senior, and she thinks he’s kind of hot. He sent her some pho...

Savage Lovecast Episode 874

July 25, 2023 11:00 - 52 minutes

When it comes to love, never ever give up. Unless you really, really should. A woman has been crushed out on her best friend for years. Each time she asks if he feels the same, he gives her an unequivocal “No.” Should she keep pestering him?  Continuing in the theme of delusions, a caller heard that semen can prevent hair loss, and anecdotally noticed that his stomach does have quite a lot of hair, right on the target. Dear listeners, he’s been rubbing his own spunk on his head. Will it work?...

No show this week.

July 18, 2023 11:00 - 38 seconds

See you next week on July 25!

Savage Lovecast Episode 873

July 11, 2023 11:00 - 56 minutes

Every day a certain number of people learn about sounding. Our first call is from one of these people and he has some questions. Are you next? Listen in.  A woman with chronic illness and pain has a calm, pragmatic attitude about her condition. But how can she roll this out to new partners, and when?   On the Magnum, do you have a dick, or love someone who has one? Then this is the show for you! Dr. Ashley Winter, our urologist pal is on (with her newborn baby occasionally chiming in,) to ans...

Savage Lovecast Episode 872

July 04, 2023 11:00 - 52 minutes

Happy birthday America, damn you’re kinky! This week’s show features a ton of calls by the kinky, those who love them, or those who are considering becoming them. Let’s dive in.  A woman and her bestie are no longer speaking to each other. Why? Because she refuses to help change out the caller’s labia piercing jewelry.  A switch woman (she can either be the dom or sub,) isn’t into humiliation. But all her partners assume she is or try to push her into it. How can she be clear about this simpl...

Savage Lovecast Episode 871

June 27, 2023 11:00 - 47 minutes

A woman and her husband have quit drinking. Hooray! But now that he’s sober he no longer feels comfortable getting pegged. Boo! How can he lower his inhibitions without the liquid courage? Dan chats with a woman who finally convinced her boyfriend to tell her about his secret, deep, dark, unrealizable fantasy. She and Dan problem-solve how to make it all work for him. Lucky lad… On the Magnum, just when you thought Pride month couldn’t get any gayer, Dan chats with Manuel Betancourt, author o...

Savage Lovecast Episode 870

June 20, 2023 11:00 - 48 minutes

Ah. The old jiz-on-the-couch problem. This time it’s a 13 year-old boy just learning about the wonders of his youthful body. His mother wishes he would learn about socks and tissues.  We’ve been hearing the word “narcissistic” hurled at exes a lot these days. But it is a genuine psychiatric disorder, and a rare one. Dan chats with Rebecca Fishbein who wrote an article in Bustle about therapy-speak and how it’s been weaponized lately.  On the Magnum, Dan brings back sociology professor Dr. Kel...

Savage Lovecast Episode 869

June 13, 2023 11:00 - 54 minutes

They are a butch, gender-queer AFAB, kinky pervert. As such, they love going to sex parties. Their boyfriend meanwhile, is straight, vanilla and family oriented. Their relationship is open, and he’s found a lass he wants to bone down with. But the caller doesn’t want him to! It’s a complicated situation, and Dan is here to help.  Next up, Dan chats with a caller whose new dom demands that she shave off all her body hair for an erotic “inspection.” But she’s a feminist and has issues with this...

Savage Lovecast Episode 868

June 06, 2023 11:00 - 52 minutes

A straight man detests condoms with all his heart. Even the thought of putting on one of those rubbers makes him deflate like the ears on a 2-day-old balloon rabbit. Is this a fetish of some kind? It prevents him from having sex and it’s bumming him out.  There seems to be a fair bit of confusion about silicone sex toys and lube. Can silicone lube harm silicone sex toys? Or do they love each other so much? Dan hops on the phone with Searah Deysach from Chicago’s Early to Bed sex toy store, to...

Savage Lovecast Episode 867

May 30, 2023 11:00 - 51 minutes

A woman feels guilty that she’s only interested in tall men. How can she weed out the little fellas?  Our guest this week is author Matt Baume, to discuss his fantastic book “Hi Honey, I’m Homo,” which looks at queer history through the lens of old TV shows. Shows like Soap, Bewitched and All in the Family grappled with gayness in secret and overt ways that reflect the historical context of when they aired. And because this is the Savage Lovecast, Dan makes Matt answer a question about fuckin...

Savage Lovecast Episode 866

May 23, 2023 11:00 - 47 minutes

A gay man is simultaneously weirded out and turned on by using the word “daddy” with his boyfriend. Should he stop immediately?  A woman’s husband cheated on her and it breaks her heart. She can’t divorce him because she would get deported. How can she stay married and stay sane for the next three years when she can become a legal citizen?  On the Magnum, we take a deep dive into the freaky, freaky world of the animal kingdom with zoologist and best-selling author Lucy Cooke. Her book “Bitch:...

Savage Lovecast Episode 865

May 16, 2023 11:00 - 49 minutes

A small time influencer has just been propositioned by an aspiring “pay pig” asking her to be his findom. He backed up this offer with $5 for coffee. Enticing! Should she do it? And if so, what are the rules in keeping the relationship lucrative and ethical?  The other day? This guy was wanking? And guess what came out of his wiener along with the usual stuff…Blood! This call is disgusting. But Dan answers it, and manages to make it even grosser.  On the Magnum, uh oh! It’s time for a Second ...

Savage Lovecast Episode 864

May 09, 2023 11:00 - 55 minutes

A woman suddenly started having orgasms while using the elliptical machine at the gym. To help explain this potentially embarrassing phenomenon, Dan brings on Dr. Debby Herbenick, author of The Coregasm Workout: The Revolutionary Method for Better Sex Through Exercise. And you now have a new goal. A dom woman and her bi male sub are having a trouble trying to find a male unicorn. They have time constraints, and they live in a suburb, not a city. The guys they meet either can’t get it up, or g...

Savage Lovecast Episode 863

May 02, 2023 11:00 - 49 minutes

A very vanilla woman is so vanilla that she “doesn’t know what a kink is.” That’s really vanilla! Here’s a complicated three-way situation: He is the top with his husband. But he is the sub for his Dom boyfriend. When the three get together, who does what? On the Magnum we welcome back Dr. Carlton Thomas, the intrepid gastroenterologist who fears no anal sex question. Example! One caller wants his butt to feel raw from rough use. Then, a woman wants to stretch her asshole for her boyfriend an...