Jack Tame: Five tips for a Merry Christmas!

I LOVE Christmas. Love it. Love the food. Love the banter. Love squabbling with my siblings and all the silly traditions that get built up over time. It is, far and away, my favourite time of year. And given I consider myself a bonafide Christmas expert, I want to share with you my five tips for the perfect big day this year:

Experiences are better than things. This is the same piece of advice I give you every year. As far as I’m concerned they can put those words on my headstone. If you are giving gifts and you’re still flat out of ideas… try not to cop out and buy some old junk that will be forgotten and abandoned before you know it. Give someone an experience. It could be anything. A picnic. Tickets to a concert. A meal at a nice restaurant. I have one mate who bought his brother a colonic irrigation for Christmas. ‘Hey!’ he figured. ‘You’re not gonna buy it yourself!’ A fancy fitness tracker might last a few years, but but the memory of a colonic irrigation lasts a lifetime.
Share the load. If there’s someone in your house who does all the cooking, then you had better do all the dishes. If there’s someone in your house doing all the cooking and someone doing all the dishes, you had better fix everyone a drink and make sure to set the table. If there’s someone doing all the cooking and someone doing all the dishes and someone fixing drinks and setting the table then for goodness’ sake use your initiative and vacuum or something. Instead of asking the Christmas boss ‘Is there anything I can do?’, and ‘What would it help for me to do?’
This is related to rule two, but it’s something that really grinds my gears. If someone else is doing the dishes… don’t mess with the system. If you’re cooking a roast turkey or a ham or potatoes… inevitably there are going to be some dishes that cannot go in the dishwasher. Perhaps, if you’re like my Dad, you will steadfastly refuse to use a dishwasher anyway. If you are someone who takes pride in their dishwashing ability, you will no doubt run a complex system of rinsing, washing, and soaking. There’s a good chance this will involve multiple sinks and bench space. And if you’re like me, you will know how infuriating it is when someone casually walks up and dumps a dirty dish in your pristine dish water, or flicks their gravy onto a roasting pan that’s already been washed. Respect the dishwashers. Respect the system.
Get some exercise. I’m not saying you have to tramp the Kepler or swim Cook Straight but if you have time on Christmas Day, taking a half an hour stroll. At our place we try and play backyard cricket. Last year, a couple of mates met in the park for a rousing game of rounders. A bit of exercise is a great stress-reliever. And Honestly, it makes all the difference when it comes to Christmas lunch, because not only are you more likely to work up a bit of an appetite, you’re slightly less likely to end up wallowing in self-loathing after your fifth serving of Christmas pudding.
Be grateful. When I lived in the States, I always loved Thanksgiving because it explicitly forces everyone to take stock and consider the things for which they are most grateful. We don’t do Thanksgiving, but Christmas is the perfect time to do exactly the same thing. Maybe you’d consider doing it at the dinner table… everyone could say a few things for which they feel grateful. When you consider the year we’ve had… honestly, just being here is reason enough. You might find that being grateful adds a bit of perspective at a time when it’s easy to lose it… and it acts as a good antidote... the yin to the yang of consumerism and gluttony.

Those are my tips. That’s my advice. Wherever you are and whatever you’re doing: Meri Kirihimete e te whanau - have a wonderful Christmas.LISTEN TO AUDIO ABOVE