Royal Subjects

The News We Didn't Want

Amid the Princess of Wales' cancer announcement, we try to break down the facts, perspectives, and how to not be a jerk about it all.

American Riviera Orchard: She Sells Salt Cellars by the Seashore

Meghan, Duchess of Sussex, unsurprisngly launches a luxury lifestyle brand, with all the neutral tones and aspirational wealth and that one comes to expect ....from Californian celebrity culture. Live from a mall parking lot, we felt it was urgent to chime in.

The Royal PR Spectacular (Untouched & Unfiltered)

When planned abdominal surgery morphs into an unforced error, and the public goes berserk. Sit back, chill out, and enjoy our unsolicited analysis.

The Abdication that Wasn't and the Abdication that Was

In this episode, we talk about the surprise abdication of Queen Margarethe of Denmark, a petty scandal involving COVID and Baroness-ial privilege, and the many fictional misses of season 6 of The Crown. Plus, don't miss the first Parure Watch of 2024!

Endgame Review: Scobie again fails to 'hang the king' in stale rematch

We weren't about to let Omid Scobie's newest book pass without comment. 

Fall News, Movies, and Books

Just a bit to tide you over... Harry and Meghan grapple with public-facing privacy, Spain's new princess hits the scene with a splash, and Johnny Depp fully blinged out as Louix XIV.

Of Cabbages and Kings: The House of Savoy, a Primer

In this episode,  we discuss a ruckus in the Thai royal household, Harry is off finding himself again, and the Monagasque kids have a friend in Princess Charlene.

Reading the Tea Leaves with Catherine de Braganza

Meghan and Harry swap titles for brands, The Crown Prince of Jordan weds, book and travel recos, and Camilla becomes the unexpected new face of Dior...

Let Them Eat Quiche! Your Coronation Preshow

Lots of details surrounding the Coronation and what you'll see. And but of course, historical coronation bloopers for the fun of it.

So You Want to Be a Princess: Teen Angst Edition

Coronation prep underway, South Park, and a distinguished guest breaks down the royal teen playing field.

You Broke My Necklace, Man

We held it together as long as we could, yet today we unloaded on the Sussex multiverse.  Also, an attempted coup by German royalists, the legal role of monarchs in the EU, and our favorite royal holiday movie, "The Lion in Winter."

A Right Royal Binge-Watch

As you fluff your couch pillows, put on your sweatpants, and pop some popcorn, we've reviewed all of the latest royal TV series worthy of a long winter's night. 

Cypher-sensitivity Overload

Following Queen Elizabeth II's moving state funeral, we present a brief rundown of little-known facts from the events, plus everyone's favorite BROOCH WATCH!

Thank You, Ma'am

As the Queen's funeral events play out, we take some time to discuss the week's events, plus a review of the new Sussex "Archetypes" podcast. Humor alert: even in a solemn week, we still joke around. We figure you're already watching and absorbing the serious stuff, and need a break.

A Coat of Cockatrices: Heraldry for Beginners

Everybody's favorite mesh-top-wearing monarch celebrates a birthday, the Japanese royals face the formidable foe of primogeniture, and Prince Harry delights his critics with a speech at the UN. All this, plus a little more news and a whole lot of heraldry for dumb folks.

FMK: Royal History Edition!

The game speaks for itself, and it was pretty fun to stop and think about who and why.  We'll let you think about the other details. Also royal news and the view from the Jubilee balcony.

Caterina Sforza Part 2: Sforza Harder

In this episode of Royal Subjects, we check in with royal news (including things Sussex, the abdication in Jordan, and the royal trip to Jamaica). Then, we finish up with the most badass of Italian renaissance bitches, Caterina Sforza.

Caterina Sforza: One Bad Bitch

To escape the sad news about the Queen having COVID and the Prince Andrew scandal, we dial back to the late 1400s, and a noblewoman who was elegant, astute, assertive, and well, willing to leave her children as hostages.

That Time the Pets Kept Interrupting

Prince Andrew f**ked around and finds out, Japanese/Ethiopian/Dutch/Danish updates, Meghan and Harry sue Her Majesty's Government for protection and the remarkable life of  Queen Christina of Sweden.

The Diana Industrial Complex

As ever,  we report on the latest royal news from around the world --and then burden our listeners with a review of "Diana: The Musical."

The Fat and the Bald

After a summer break at Balmoral, Anne and Malia return with a dash through the latest news and an exploration of Charles the Bald and Frederick the Fat. Were they (respectively) bald and fat? And why don't we still get to nickname royals like that? 

EXPLICIT! All We Hear is Lady-Di-Ga-Ga

The Ethiopian Prince and The Boy Peter

The Funeral of Prince Philip

Analyze This!

O Brother, Where Art Thou (in Montecito)

So You Want to Marry a Prince

Don't Stand by Windows in Pantaloons!

Latest royal news and a dive into the fabulous world of Rudolf II Hapsburg

If we can help just ONE person win a beer...

Secrets in the Family Closet

Royal news updates from Thailand and Tokyo, plus a very blunt review of The Crown

11 Herbs and Spices

Halloween is upon us, so a bit of magic with a princess and shaman, and that time the king's body exploded

Royal Subjects Rewind: What to Expect When QE2 Dies

The symbolism and logistics of the queen's funeral plans. This week’s news about the Queen’s health has us all hoping for the very best for her care and comfort. Last year, we learned a lot of interesting facts about planning for modern royal funerals.  A lot of this is probably in play right now (government, media planning), but we know that with her genes and attitude, she’s got another ten good years! The symbolism and logistics of the queen's funeral plans. #GodSaveTheQueen

Kick Kennedy: An American Heiress in London

The latest royal news and the story of Kick Kennedy, American "royalty" whose high life and aristocratic marriage ended tragically

Back From the Grouse Shoot

Thai royal update, review of Finding Freedom, and George IV's many mistresses

A Little Black Dress and A Trailer Full of Rams

News on Beatrice's wedding; a royal showdown in Ghana; and symbolic royal frocks through the centuries

A Little Black Dress and A Trailer Full of Rams

News on Beatrice's wedding; a royal showdown in Ghana; and symbolic royal frocks through the centuries

Staycation Like a Royal

Royal news; how to bankrupt your ancestral home in order to throw a great party

Monaco for Dummies: Princess Stephanie Edition

We dive into the intriguing, tragic, and scandalous life of Princess Stephanie

Eat Like a King

The latest royal news and menus at the royal court of Henry VIII, Louis XIV, and Queen Elizabeth II

The Death of Kings: What to Expect When QE2 Dies

The symbolism and logistics of the queen's funeral plans.

Four Weddings, a Bodyguard Girlfriend, and a Poodle Funeral

The latest on Meghan & Harry, news updates, and a dive into Thai royal scandal

Hapsburg Chinny Chin Chin

The latest royal news and unpacking the history of incest in the Hapsburg royal family

Pilot: You and Your Monegasques

Meet Anne and Malia, old college friends and history buffs who are exploring their new snark medium of podcasting, and the week in royal news.

Episode 101: You With Your Monegasques

Introducing Royal Subjects, where old college buddies/history buffs Anne and Malia explore their new snark medium of podcasting. This is the "pilot" episode, so we are all over the place, but we promise somewhat informative and unusual royal histories in future episodes. Follow us on FB @2RoyalSubjects!