Ringheads

Ep. 42: LOTR Return of the King part 16

February 28, 2022 18:00 - 1 hour - 48.3 MB

“Well, I’m back… with the guys from Ringheads, finishing up the movie trilogy!” Slight paraphrase of Sam’s closing words, we’re sure Ronny Tolkien would approve. The ring’s destroyed, the war is over, Frodo’s back home at Bag End, but he ain’t happy. He’s busy editing and finishing Bilbo’s written work, Christopher Tolkien style. We break down what happens to him and all the other characters after the story concludes, “end credits from Animal House” style. We also discuss the Grey Havens, and...

Ep. 41: LOTR Return of the King part 15

February 21, 2022 18:00 - 1 hour - 50.2 MB

The ring has been destroyed! And the lads have taken Eagle Express back to Minas Tirith. Now it's time for reunion, celebration, awkward jumping on beds. Then onto the coronation of that king, who, as the title promised, has returned. His first official act: make out in public with his elf fiancé. The Hobbits are honored, and on their way home. Also: we talk about the Scouring of the Shire, not included in the movie but a BIG part of Da Book.

Ep. 40: LOTR Return of the King part 14

February 14, 2022 18:00 - 1 hour - 49.3 MB

Here we are, at the end of all things... almost. Sam and Frodo make the final push up Mount Doom, with a guest appearance from an old pal! Meanwhile, the Captains of the West charge the gates of Mordor, and Aragorn faces off with a troll that was gonna be Sauron but then it wasn’t (it’ll make sense if you listen). And we dig into the old controversy about The Eagles - not the band, though they come up too.

Ep. 39 LOTR Return of the King part 13

February 07, 2022 18:00 - 56 minutes - 45.1 MB

Let’s spend some time in beautiful sunny Mordor! This section is all about Sauron’s place. Inside, poor Frodo and Sam practically crawl to the Mount Doom, badly needing some Gatorade. Outside the gate, Aragorn tries to rally the Men o’ the West despite his vocal limitations. But to be fair, he looks great! Special guest star: the Mouth of Sauron, whose skincare routine is NOT working.

Ep. 38: LOTR Return of the King part 12

January 31, 2022 18:00 - 1 hour - 48.6 MB

After the big battle, our heroes spend some time in the Houses of Healing… and Love? Meanwhile Frodo’s a prisoner in the Tower of Cirith Ungol, where there’s very little Healing and even less Love. Samwise the Strong to the rescue! Shagrat and Gorbag fight over clothes and we get into the “politics” of being an Orc in Mordor. Aragorn has a plan and Gimli farts in Denethor’s chair, just as the prophecy foretold.

Ep. 37: LOTR Return of the King part 11

January 24, 2022 18:00 - 1 hour - 48.4 MB

This section begins with an army of unstoppable Mûmakil crushing everything in their path and ends with big mountains of dead Mûmakil. So a lot happens. Including: Gandalf gets all cute about Death; Aragorn finally shows up with his army of pestilential dead guys; Gimli and Legolas resume their whimsical murder contest; plus the Witch King of Angmar gets a bit too cocky and winds up becoming the Bitch King of Angmar. (P.S. justice for the Mûmakil! They never asked for this!!)

Ep. 36: LOTR Return of the King part 10

January 17, 2022 18:00 - 1 hour - 48.2 MB

Sam finds Frodo wrapped in his cozy web sleeping bag. Wake up, lazy! We meet the infectiously-named Shagrat and Gorbag. Things are looking bad in Minas Tirith: fireballs and Gothmogs and Oliphaunts, oh my. Gandalf faces off with the Witch King (...of Angmar, not Cleveland) and we break down how that moment differs from “da buk.” All in all, we have a great time burning like the heathen kings of old.

Ep. 35: LOTR Return of the King part 9

January 10, 2022 18:00 - 59 minutes - 47.3 MB

Oh sure, we talk about some relatively obscure Silmarillion-based stuff in this episode, like the origin of the Light of Eärendil that Galadriel gives Frodo back in Lothlórien, and the legendary half-elven hero behind it. And of course, we check in with the Rohirrim as they make their way to Minas Tirith and talk about unsung hero of the book, Ghan Buri Ghan. But this ep is dominated by one thing: a giant damn spider. Shelob has arrived! So this is the Giant Spider Episode.

Ep. 34: LOTR Return of the King part 8

January 03, 2022 18:00 - 59 minutes - 47.4 MB

The siege of Gondor is fully underway. Faramir gets dragged - literally, by a horse, not by us this time! Gothmog struts his stuff outside the gates of Minas Tirith and has a lot of fun doing it. We can’t help but like the guy. Head-a-pults, launch! Gandalf takes charge and goes full Donatello with his staff. We also talk about Prince Imrahil, the Corsairs of Umbar, and the great and glorious GROND.

Ep. 33: LOTR Return of the King part 7

December 27, 2021 18:00 - 57 minutes - 46 MB

Emo Aragorn is still acting weird at Eowyn. Theoden’s having big mood swings. Nobody wants to take Merry anywhere. Minas Tirith politely waits to be attacked. The Pirates of the Caribbean show up. Gimli stars in his own goofy sitcom. Special guest star: millions of skulls!

Ep. 32: LOTR Return of the King part 6

December 20, 2021 18:00 - 59 minutes - 47.5 MB

Faramir leaves Minas Tirith to face doom while his mean papa Denethor CONTINUES TO EAT. Rohan musters next to a spooky mountain full of g-g-g-ghosts! Eowyn gives Merry some war gear and he flips out like the kid from A Christmas Story getting a Red Ryder BB gun. And Aragorn has a tense conversation with his father-in-law-to-be in Theoden’s surprisingly snazzy travel tent.

Ep. 31: LOTR Return of the King part 5

December 13, 2021 18:00 - 55 minutes - 45 MB

"The Age of Men is over. The Time of the Orc has come." So says Gothmog, the doughy-faced Lieutenant of Minas Morgul and regular Fox News pundit. And jeez, does he seem to be right, based on this section of the movie: cherry tomato junkie Denethor sends his only remaining son to certain death; a bunch of soldiers from Gondor get Nazgul-ed while others polish their fancy armor and pine for Rohan to save them. Meanwhile Gollum engineers a rift between Frodo and Sam. All while still wearing... t...

Ep. 30: LOTR Return of the King Part 4

December 06, 2021 18:00 - 58 minutes - 40.4 MB

Pippin and Gandalf spend a lot of time yakkin’ on a balcony... Statler and Waldorf much? Frodo, Sam, and Gollum reach Minas Morgul, which actually used to be a nice place before the big box stores moved in. Beacons are lit, Orcs ride on boats, and we’re introduced to the great and meaty-faced GOTHMOG!

Ep. 29: LOTR Return of the King part 3

November 29, 2021 18:00 - 53 minutes - 43.2 MB

Elves are marching very languidly to the Undying Lands, which might be boring. The return of Figwit. One of the top 100 sword-reforging scenes in film history. We meet the free-wheeling, fun-lovin’ Denethor, Steward of Gondor. And: Gandalf needs a cough drop!

Ep. 28: LOTR Return of the King Part 2

November 22, 2021 18:00 - 58 minutes - 47 MB

Saruman, and his mind of metal and wheels… gets squished by a big metal wheel. Subtle! A drinking contest lets Gimli burp and fart his way to new lows. Eowyn dreams of Númenor. Pippin goes cuckoo for a Palantír, and we get into what exactly those are: basically, big goth bowling balls.

Ep. 27: LOTR Return of the King Part 1

November 15, 2021 18:00 - 57 minutes - 46.4 MB

Lord of the Rings is a trilogy, and this is the third movie, and so [quickly counts] ...the last. But the longest, hoo boy! We begin this long, epic journey with a shot of a tiny worm being put on a hook. This episode features, among other things, more about the different type of Hobbits than you may have ever wanted to know. Also: Saruman, down but undefeated in smack talk!

Ep. 26: LOTR The Two Towers movie Part 11 [final!]

November 08, 2021 18:00 - 54 minutes - 43.8 MB

Well, we’ve met both of the Two Towers now, plus a bonus Deep (Helm’s) and it’s time to move on. Yes, this is the final episode about this middle movie of the LOTR trilogy, and some of the chickens are coming home to roost for the bad guys of Middle Earth. Other chickens are still out there! Including Gollum, who’s already planning the next movie...

Ep. 25: LOTR The Two Towers movie Part 10

November 01, 2021 17:00 - 54 minutes - 44.3 MB

The body count rises at Helm's Deep, but Gimli continues to be a comedy goofus in the midst of tragedy. Elves die, so we ask the question "what happens when elves die?" and dammit, we answer that question. Also: the relative dignity of characters in the Jackson movies vs. In The Book. Finally: Faramir at peak dickishness!

Ep. 24: LOTR The Two Towers movie Part 9

October 25, 2021 17:00 - 58 minutes - 47 MB

We've reached the second-to-last THE TWO TOWERS episode, and the tower count remains the same! But it's all coming to a head on three different fronts: Helm's Deep, where things are getting explode-y; Fangorn Forest, where the Ents are deciding to decide to maybe decide something (spoiler: they finally do); and in Osgiliath, which needs an infrastructure upgrade. Plus: Gimli keeps clowning.

Ep. 23: LOTR The Two Towers movie Part 8

October 18, 2021 17:00 - 56 minutes - 45.4 MB

Lots of Real Talk in this episode. Real Talk: is Faramir the ideal Gondorian warrior-prince, or a whiny failson? Real Talk: are the Uruk-Hai unstoppable murder machines, or easily-killed training dummies for Gimli’s axe? Real Talk: will there ever be justice for Smeagol and his fish? Finally, Ringheads announces our upcoming Patreon video extras: we will cover ALL THREE of the Peter Jackson HOBBIT movies. Plus more! Eru save us.

Ep. 22: LOTR The Two Towers movie Part 7

October 11, 2021 17:00 - 51 minutes - 42.3 MB

Warg attack!! This is both a handy phrase for quickly getting off a Zoom call, and something that is happening to the Rohirrim as we start this section. Watch as our heroes fight these giant wolf-hyena-rats. And everyone is noticing the Uruk-Hai are on the march, which is not surprising since they are 10,000 huge monsters not attempting to hide. Finally, we check in with the elves, who are all about skedaddling the hell out of town. See ya, World of Men!

Ep. 21: LOTR The Two Towers movie Part 6

October 04, 2021 17:00 - 53 minutes - 43.5 MB

A very trudge-focused section! The dreary people of Edoras are hightailing it out of town to the fortress of Helm's Deep, and trudging is what they do. Éowyn is boy-crazy for 87-year-old boy Aragorn, and shows it by serving him a stew of raw raccoon meat floating in hot saliva. Meanwhile the new comedy duo of Saruman-N-Wormtongue get all giggly thinking of wargs eating children. Plus: we've got elves again.

Ep. 20: LOTR The Two Towers movie Part 5

September 27, 2021 17:00 - 59 minutes - 47.5 MB

We're hanging out with the horselords for a while. Having funerals, discussing imminent war, performing wizard-exorcisms. It's a fun place these days. Also, Edoras: magnificent seat of kings or scrubby little town? Finally, the new duo of Saruman and Wormtongue start their twisted relationship, and all the couples counselors in Middle Earth can't help them.

Ep. 19: LOTR The Two Towers movie Part 4

September 20, 2021 17:00 - 57 minutes - 46.1 MB

This part of the movie has lots of critters emerging in Middle Earth: incredibly big, incredibly dumb trolls; beautifully-styled godlike horses; giant tree-men who recite their own bad poetry; other trees who are basically serial killers; and maybe most astonishing: dudes who ride horses! Is this the turn of the tide, or is the newly resurrected version of Gandalf a shiny white liar? Find out!

Ep. 18: LOTR The Two Towers movie Part 3

September 13, 2021 17:00 - 55 minutes - 44.6 MB

Gollum gives a tour of the Dead Marshes, which is full of ghouls, evil intent and, possibly worse - it really really stinks. And Gandalf is back from the great beyond! He brings great light and hope, but stresses that he is color-coded differently this time. No one else understands what he means.

Ep. 17: LOTR The Two Towers movie Part 2

September 06, 2021 17:00 - 57 minutes - 46.2 MB

Saruman keeps hating on trees. Trees keep hating on him, and everyone else. Trees are weird as hell. Also - it's Rohan time! Wormtongue makes a strong, wormy entrance. Plus: find out why the Rohirrim are "horse famous" even though they might be more closely related to bears.

Ep. 16: LOTR The Two Towers movie Part 1

August 30, 2021 17:00 - 1 hour - 48.8 MB

What, there's another movie?? We begin delving, in our usual excessively greedy and deep fashion, into the second film of the Peter Jackson LOTR trilogy. It contains a certain number of towers. Also: Gollum's back in town, baby!

Ep. 15: LOTR Fellowship of the Ring movie Part 10 [final!]

August 23, 2021 17:00 - 53 minutes - 43.6 MB

We've reached the end of Fellowship of the Ring. So that's it, there's no more Lord of the Rings movies! ....hahaha. Ha. No. Wrapping up FOTR with some of most emotionally wrenching parts of the entire trilogy [*sniff* Boromir *sniff*], plus a twisted pain-loving Uruk Hai leader with a goofy name, hobbits who can throw rocks with the deadliness of bazooka fire, and even more crying (by Aragorn, Sam and especially Bill).

Ep. 14: LOTR Fellowship of the Ring movie Part 9

August 16, 2021 17:00 - 52 minutes - 42.5 MB

Galadriel is fully over the demon witch-queen thing and sends the fellowship off with her best hippie commune vibe. Aragorn and Boromir bring “Mom and Dad are fighting” energy to the gang’s boat trip. The Fighting Uruk-Hai show up and quickly rebrand as the Dying Uruk-Hai.

Ep. 13: LOTR Fellowship of the Ring movie Part 8

August 09, 2021 17:00 - 48 minutes - 39.6 MB

It's Maia vs. Maia in a steel cage death match: Gandalf vs. the Balrog, fire vs. flame, small elderly guy vs. giant devil guy. Results ensue! Then the gang escapes to Lothlorien, where Gimil tells the elves he wants to poop on them. Yep.

Ep. 12: LOTR Fellowship of the Ring movie Part 7

August 02, 2021 17:00 - 59 minutes - 47.6 MB

We head into the trendy underground restaurant Moria, which specializes in the best Ripe Meat Off the Bone in town. It's a dangerous four-day trip, the place is kinda claustrophobic and full of rotted skeletons, and the waitstaff is demonic, but... a big party is waiting! Plus: dwarves are weird as hell.

Ep. 11: LOTR Fellowship of the Ring movie Part 6

July 26, 2021 17:00 - 53 minutes - 43.1 MB

After some last-minute preparations, goodbyes, and a final bit of moping, our heroes make like Willie Nelson and get back on the road again. They are now, officially, as the title of this movie says, the Fellowship of the Ring. Dramatic landscapes, snow-covered alps and another of Sam's meaty breakfasts follow.

Ep. 10: LOTR Fellowship of the Ring movie Part 5

July 19, 2021 17:00 - 51 minutes - 41.8 MB

Aragorn and Boromir meet cute over a messed-up sword. Then Arwen and Aragorn don't exactly do great with the Bechdel Test. But finally the main event: a very important council of people from all over Middle Earth, at Elrond's place! What should they call this solemn, momentous occasion, where the fate of the world is decided? Just ..what the hell,.name it after the guy whose house it's at? OK fine...

Ep. 9: LOTR Fellowship of the Ring movie Part 4

July 12, 2021 17:00 - 58 minutes - 46.6 MB

A brief visit back to Saruman, who’s doing all right for himself: a new factory, great staff, and a revolting way of making new soldiers. Then: Arwen! Not Glorfindel. And we finally get to Rivendell, where everyone gets to relax for 3-5 minutes.

Ep. 8: LOTR Fellowship of the Ring movie Part 3

July 05, 2021 17:00 - 52 minutes - 42.9 MB

Frodo and the gang reach Bree, a town of very unhygienic men. There they meet Aragorn, also unhygienic but a well-meaning dude. Aragorn takes them to Weathertop, where they face off with the Black Riders and hijinks* ensue! (*stabbings)

Ep. 7: LOTR: Fellowship of the Ring movie Part 2

June 28, 2021 17:00 - 50 minutes - 41.1 MB

After many preparations, the hobbits finally get on the road, walk a few miles, then start cooking sausages. Black Riders, Elves, Farmer Maggot, Old Man Willow, Tom "Not Appearing in the Movie" Bombadil, then more sausages. Bill and Sean discuss it all, explain what they can, make lots of jokes, but they don't get any sausage.

Ep. 6: LOTR: Fellowship of the Ring movie Part 1

June 21, 2021 17:00 - 50 minutes - 41.6 MB

We commence the watch party! Starting with as much as we can get through of the first of the Peter Jackson movie trilogy, Fellowship of the Ring, which premiered nearly 20 years ago... whatever Age that was. We're going at a leisurely pace so we're not sure exactly how long it will take us to get through each movie. But we can say, confidently: plenty of movie episodes ahead! Stock up on snacks. (No lembas bread, please. Tasteless, too filling, loaded with elf-carbs. Bleghh.)

A RINGHEADS Message for You

June 08, 2021 20:32 - 53 seconds - 7.23 MB

The Crevain from Dunland were not available so Bill delivers it himself.

Ep. 5: THE SILMARILLION Part 3 of 3

May 31, 2021 17:00 - 50 minutes - 41.6 MB

Welcome to the golden age of Men. The idyllic island of Numenor, where wise, attractive and (we cannot emphasize this enough) TALL men reign over a time of wonder and magic. This is Tolkien though, so it doesn't last. Too bad they didn't develop gills in time.

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